Leaning forward, Chihiro peered through the fogging windshield.
With a frown she clicked her wipers higher.
Because it was pouring in sheets outside.
Raining so hard she had to slow to 20 kilometers per hour.
But Keiichi didn't seem to mind. Whether because he was stuffed to the gills and dozing, or because he had nothing to say, she wasn't sure. All the same, she was grateful. Chihiro wasn't in the mood to talk. At least he was the perfect excuse to leave the Onsen. She practically carried the priest out to the car, waiting in his shadow silently as he said his good byes. All the while Mrs. Nikkou's gaze burned a hole in her forehead as she tried to catch her attention. Chihiro ignored her.
Again she jumped as lightening flashed.
Ragged patches of sky illuminated through the reaching arms of the forest overhead.
And she found herself counting the seconds until thunder boomed faintly.
Three miles away and growing further still.
In spite of a few downed tree branches they eventually pulled up the sloping drive at the back of the living quarters of the Shrine complex. As they did Chihiro couldn't help but notice as Kei peered through the deluge at back shed. The door was open and swinging in the gusts that sent rain hammering on the hood of the car. The interior was empty. No motorcycle. No Kiri. There was another car in the driveway. But judging from Keiichi's lack of enthusiasm it was probably the caretaker's. The priest sank back into his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose before popping his belt.
Chihiro started as Kei finally spoke.
"It will confuse people in the village, especially Nani, but I will call you Sen from now on. They will do as I do. After a time no one with think anything of it."
She gaped, not sure what to say. "T-thank you, Keiichi-san."
"Not at all. As Suzume-sensei says, a bit of mystery will do our town some good." He flashed her a knowing smile.
After a moment it faltered as once again his eyes went back to the shed. "Forgive me for inquiring, but you and my sister seemed to be growing close." He paused awkwardly, "You… You haven't heard from her, have you?"
Her face went red hot with shame, "S-sorry. I haven't."
"I thought so." He forced a grim smile, once again pushing his glasses up his nose.
Shaking himself as if marshalling his strength, Keiichi struck his knee with his palm.
"Thank you for the meal and for the ride. Let us hope this rain clears by tomorrow otherwise we will have a soggy matsuri! I will see you tomorrow. Good night, Sen."
With that he popped his door, letting in a cold rush of air. The car shook as he shut it. Chihiro watched him hurry down the stones to the house, still not sure what to make of Keiichi. At once bossy and retiring, stuffy and good natures, both devout and in denial he was a package of contradictions. She liked him and didn't like him. Just like his sister.
Once a light popped on inside the house she backed down the driveway, frowning at the billowing blue tarp covering booths set up in tidy rows inside the Shrine's parking lot. There were going to be a lot of vendors at the Matsuri tomorrow. Were there enough people in town to even staff all those stalls?
As Chihiro stopped at the empty highway intersection her head emptied out.
Two green lights went by and still she stared.
On a whim she made a left and headed into town.
Pulling under the looming bulk of the overpass she came up short. Even though it pouring down rain groups of people were walking up and down the streets too young and well dressed to be from Kumomi. They were laughing and struggling with their umbrellas. Luckier ones kicked their way through puddles in slickers and galoshes.
Stopping in the middle of the street she stared. Judging from the light illuminating the rain and the crowds heading down the Yamada's block the pub was stuffed to the gills with visitors. Although her good will and amusement dried up as she took notice of the cars packing the streets. Even the lot running along the beach was full!
Finally she found a spot almost at the docks. She might as well have moored along side the boats. Climbing out into the pelting rain Chihiro locked her car and stared toward the harbor. Big and Little Cows were entirely obscured by the rain. But another bulk stood out on the sand even closer than the rocks. Beneath a shell of blue tarps the stage was decked out in swags of green, blue and white. So was the rest of town for that matter. Every street lamp, bench, and wall was covered in soggy festival décor.
Apparently tradition reigned.
Trudging through the wet sand Chihiro halfway climbed the stairs and sat on the front lip of the stage, sheltering under the awning. Why she bothered was a mystery because she was already soaked to the bone. Her yukata plastered to her body just as the sand caked her shins. The sand itched and she swept at it with her hands as she stared at the dark flat of the bay. It was illuminated by the parking lot floodlights, and she could see the heavy curls of the storm cut waves as they crashes in the distance.
Water dripped on her from above and all around. Lifting her head she listened to the drumming on the tarps, the murmuring hiss of the waves, and the muddled voices of passing strangers. After a moment she breathed out sigh, savoring the smells of town, feeling something relax inside her chest.
Motor oil. Fried tempura. Rotting sea weed.
Beneath it all was the jarring hum of electrical wires. But that wasn't bad.
It was a far cry from the sulfur, tea, and the vibrating magic that saturated the Onsen.
Chihiro blinked and realized that's what was missing.
Magic. Slowly she was having to accept that it wasn't something you go used to. It made her anxious the same way being on a roof made her anxious. You never knew what was going to happen. You never knew when something was going to going flying about. burst into flames, or both. You never knew someone you loved was going to turn into a monster.
Hugging her knees, Chihiro tried to convince herself the water on her face was rain.
"Chihiro?"
With a startled squeak she nearly fell off the stage; because Hidé was standing at the base of the stage looking up at her with a bemused expression.
"Whoa!" He caught her knees with his calloused hands, pushing her back up onto the edge. "Sorry! Didn't mean t'scare you."
He was wearing bare minimum in the humid rain: tank, shorts, flip-flops. A convenience store stopping bag lay pooled at his feet where he'd dropped it. Like everything else he was soaked to the bone. And her face went red hot, because his hands were still on her knees. She stared at them until they hastily withdrawing. Once again anger welled inside her, because this was the last thing she needed right now. Last time she'd seen Hidé he kissed her thoroughly then jumped out of her car at a red light.
"W-what are you doing here?" She stammered, still at a loss.
"Uh…" He pointed at the harbor. "This is kinda my front yard."
"Oh." It was true.
As the silence between them filled with the pattering of the rain, Hidé frowned in the light filtering through the awnings.
"Um… You okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" She shot back hotly.
But he took her foul mood in stride.
"Well," He squinted up at the sheet pouring from the brooding sky, "It's kinda the middle of the night. And it's kinda raining."
She snorted. "Kinda?"
"Yeah," He grinned his lop-sided grin, "Kinda."
Taking a deep breath Chihiro tried to put on a better face. "Keiichi came by the Onsen today. I gave him a ride home and decided to come into town for a bit."
She couldn't help but glare at a group of tittering city women who squealed as they walked by. They were all smoking.
"But it appears we've been over-run."
Hidé's grin widened shamelessly, "That's you're fault, boss."
"How's this my fault!?" Chihiro crossed her arms huffily.
"They came for the matsuri 'cause of the magazine article." Hidé nodded a the retreating woman, "You should see the village. Yamada's are booked solid. Got a couple staying with them that came all the way from Hakodate."
"Hakodate!?" Chihiro gaped. That was almost Hokkaido.
"Apparently even more folk's are gonna day trip it tomorrow."
"From Hakodate!?"
He laughed outright at that.
The sound made her insides tighten and Chihiro cringed from all kinds of sensations that were normally good.
"No, not Hakodate. But probably from other places." Again Hidé squinted up at the sky, this time hopefully. "Wind's coming from all over the place. Can't tell if this's gonna blow over. I really do like Matsuri."
And Chihiro fell silent in the face of his humanness. It was simple human talk: weather and town business. But it was so nice and… normal.
Kami couldn't lie, but still, that made them all that much more difficult. There was no hiding what they were feeling or thinking. Good or bad, it just all poured out. It was a wholly exhausting experience. Just like lying.
"Okay, so I lied." Chihiro muttered she folded in on herself, "I'm not okay."
Hidé's face fell as his eyes glanced her way, "I could tell."
"And how's that Mr. Know-it-all!?" Again she snapped at him, but he passed by her foul mood, reaching down to pick up the bag at his feet.
"I think you need to eat something."
"I'm not hungry…" Her stomach let out a traitorous growl so petulant and ferocious she got dizzy.
And she almost panicked as Hidé turned away.
"Wait!" She half got up to go after him, because for a moment it seemed like he was leaving.
But he wasn't. He was just climbing the stairs to the stage. Coming over without hurry he sat down on worn Astroturf beside her.
"Here." As Hidé put an onigiri in her hand her stomach wailed.
Chihiro stuffed the whole thing into her mouth before she realized what she had done. He took one look at her mortified face and laughed again, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep quiet. But his blue eyes continued to laugh.
"What?" She demanded while trying to chew.
"Um… You've got some rice." He made a meaningless gesture at his face.
She wiped at her chin as her cheeks burned, "Is it gone!?"
"Nope. Still there."
His point turned into a reach as his calloused fingers swept over her cheek, dislodging a clump of rice that fell into her lap. But his hand lingered; so did the gentle attention of his worried blue eyes. All at once she was painfully aware of his closeness. It was hot in spite of the rain and he smelled very strongly of man stink. That wasn't a bad thing. He smelled really good, which was so very, very wrong.
And there it was, that strange pull she'd always felt in his presence.
A magnetism that was entirely human.
It was so strong Chihiro had to turn away.
"What happened?" He asked quietly.
"We had another fight." Chihiro hid her face in her tucked up knees. "He said something rude so I said something mean. He got mad and left."
"Sounds pretty normal."
"It's not." She whispered as her throat closed, "He… um… scared me pretty bad."
There was a long pause and Hidé swallowed.
When he spoke next the fisherman was doing his best to keep his tone neutral.
"Did he hurt you?"
"Haku would never hurt me!" Chihiro answered sharply.
And her face burned. Because already it was a lie. Chihiro shoved her hands insides her sleeves as if she needed to hide the bruises Suzume'd long since taken away. She jumped as he touched her fingers. Gently taking one of her hands he put another onigiri in her palm. Sick to her stomach, Chihiro stared at it as Hidé lay back on his elbows, looking out over the waves. A muscle in the back of his jaw was jumping. And she could tell this was upsetting him. But she remained pinned in place, because she wanted to stay.
"Why were you fighting?" He continued casually.
"He… um… He wants to meet my parents."
Hidé wasn't expecting that. "Uh… Normally guys don't want to do that. So why's this a bad thing?"
Scrubbing her face with her hands, she let out a ragged sigh.
"Don't get me wrong, I love my dad a lot, okay? But he's a great big jerk around other guys." Chihiro swallowed, suddenly finding her mouth had gone dry. Because she really, really didn't want to say out loud the real reason she was upset. So she danced around it as best she could. "Haku's really protective of me. They… um… they wouldn't get along."
"Again, that sounds pretty normal to me."
Hidé's casual tone set her off like a short fuse.
"Yeah!?" She snapped back furiously, "Well in case you haven't noticed Haku's not so normal! Normal boyfriends don't turn into monsters an'… an' try to eat people!"
There is was. In spite of everything she blurted it out anyway.
Shaking. Shaking so hard her teeth were chattering.
At once Hidé was holding. Her skin burned against his. He was so very warm. She'd almost forgotten what that felt like, she was so surrounded by Gods all the time. Chihiro practically knocked him over as she tuning her face into his shoulder, breathing in the smell of humanness.
"Shhhh!" He soothed, "It's okay!"
"No, it's not okay! He scared me so much!"
"I… I'm sorry…" He murmured against the top of her head.
Taking a series of shuddering breaths, Chihiro tried to push the fear away, trying to deny that it existed. "It's not his fault."
"Chihiro…" Hidé began carefully.
"He didn't mean to scare me," She pressed, "I said something so awful."
"Stop making excuses for him!" He shook her, however gently. All the same it made her fall still. And the quiet intensity in his voice made her listen, made her hear through the pounding rain. "Chihiro… I don't know anything about Gods. But I do know people. I come form a long line of messed up relationships and I know what I see. An' I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm not the right person to be telling you this, but he's not supposed to be here."
Oh, she did not want to hear that!
Because it was the truth.
The other Kami were small. They acclimated easily. They had no problem walking among mortals, which was more than evident from their work at the Onsen. But not Haku. He was a God. A great one at that. Probably even greater than Suzume. There was no such thing as acclimation for a God of that kind hence none existed in this world. She lay like a stone in Hidé's arms, remembering what Haku said earlier that very day.
I miss my world. Haku said. Being here hurts.
And the only reason he was still here was because of her.
"B-but I don't want him to go…!" Chihiro breathed.
"I know," Hidé held her so tightly it hurt, "An' I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Chihiro didn't remember much of what happened after that.
Her head kinda just shut off.
And when it turned back on again she was warm and dry.
And there pillow over her head.
It smelled very strongly of Hidé.
The rain was still a distant whisper somewhere nearby. And for a moment she thought he was still rocking her. Because the floor was swaying very slowly from side to side. Something thunked gently against the hollowness under the floor boards, gurgling and swirling. It took her a second to figure out he'd taken her back to his boat. She was in his bed again. Hidé'd dragged the futon down off the bunk. Her feet were all tangled in the scratchy blanket. Cracks of light crept under the pillow as she experimented with opening her eyes. They were puffy and gritty. She swallowed only to find out the Sahara had moved into her throat.
"Hi, boss." Hidé's warm hand smoothed between her shoulders.
"Um…" She snuffled apologetically, "I think I cried on your pillow."
"S'okay." His hand moved to her hair, "M'used to saltwater."
She snorted, and her lips pulled into an empty smile.
It made her face hurt.
Then all the hurt inside came pouring out fresh.
Chihiro bound herself up into a ball.
"Shhh…" Hidé murmured quietly between her sobs. "It's okay."
As she cried herself out his hands smoothed back and forth, gently rubbing her shoulders in time with the listing sway of his boat. Until she fell asleep again hiding under his blanket.
"Holy shit!" Hidé gasped.
Chihiro woke abruptly as something clattered against the far wall. And already she could smell him: camphor and foxfire. The whisper of Suzume's robes invaded the tiny boat's interior as the God's presence made ripples of magic go eddying through the room.
"Hmm," The fox muttered to himself, "I have always wondered what the inside of this boat looks like. It is quite… small."
"S-sorry! Sorry!" More muffled clattering sounded from the galley, "I… I didn't think it'd actually work!"
"You called," The fox pronounced in a rare show of patience, "So I have come."
Hidé was still sputtering, "I-I didn't know who else to um… call."
Suzume was quiet for a long moment, "How is she?"
Chihiro couldn't tell if he knew she was awake. Probably not.
She tried to keep it that way, making breathing even, listening in on them.
"Not good." A bit of the scare went out of Mrs. Nikkou's grandson as he continued, "I said some things that were really hard for her to hear."
"Everything you said she no doubt needed to hear."
"Y-you were listening…?" A lick of anger started up in Hidé.
"Yes." The fox's crisp return was without apology, "I have been listening from the very beginning for I feared this possibility."
At once Chihiro froze.
Feared what possibility?!
Hidé was just as confused. "W-what are you talking about?"
"You were correct when you said the dragon does not belong here. Just as you were correct when you said it is hurting him. But more so than you can imagine."
"I-is he going to be okay?" Hidé was genuinely worried.
"No." Suzume hushed severely, "I think not."
Chihiro was holding her breath, hanging on the Gods every word as understanding dangled just beyond her reach.
"You are mortal so you understand what it is to suffer and want. But you can never understand how Kami experience these things. The Gods learned emotions from mortals but to us they are tangible things. To hurt is to become that hurt."
Chihiro cringed from the vehemence in the fox's words.
"It gnaws and claws and bites… Eating us up from the inside… But all that is left is more pain and more wanting! Slowly we loose ourselves to the agony as it changes us for the worst. Until there is nothing left of us but the hunger for solace that will never come."
Hidé swallowed with difficulty, as if his mouth had gone dry.
"What could possibility be doing that to him!?"
And the fox sighed.
"The dragon wants this girl so badly he is willing to brave that hurt just to be near her. But he can never have her no matter how near he is. And the pain has become too much. Slowly it is turning him into something else. And I fear for her… It is an evil thing to say, but I hope he never returns."
"What do you mean you're afraid for her!?"
For once Suzume seemed inclined to explain.
"You have seen the mark on her leg, yes?" He bit back with sharp impatience.
"Uh… Y-yeah?" Hidé was embarrassed.
"The dragon will become the thing that made the mark! Now do you understand!?"
Understanding hit Chihiro like a physical blow. As it did she finally understood why the fox was always looking at them from the corner of his eyes, frowning, shaking his head sadly. He knew. He knew this was coming! And it took every fiber of her self control not to jump up and call the fox a liar. But there was no way for him to be lying.
Gods could not lie.
"Shhh! You'll wake her up!" Hidé hissed back, "If its so bad for him to be here then why the hell doesn't he go back!?"
"He will not leave her," Suzume pronounced frigidly.
Hidé cast about for some kind of solution.
Chihiro hung on his every word.
"Can't she, um, can't she go with him then?" He countered reluctantly, as if he hated the fact that he was suggesting it, "She's been over there lots of times."
"Yes. She could follow him to the other side. But it will remedy nothing. Their difference will remain irreconcilable." The fox brooded, and his robes rustled and whispered as he came to a seat somewhere. "And when she does return the mortal world she shall have nothing. All her friends and all her family will be dead."
Stunned, all Chihiro could do was lay there as all warmth seemed to drain from the world.
"I do not wish to speak of this further." Suzume's voice was thick with quiet anger, "It is not why I have come."
"Why did you come?" Hidé muttered as if dazed.
"I have come to apologize."
"T-to her?" Hidé stammered.
"No. She needs not my pity for she is stronger than she appears. I have come to apologize to you."
Never had Chihiro heard the fox so sorry.
His regret transformed him into another person.
Someone humble and tired not angry and imperious.
"Me?" His voice broke, squeaking like a mouse, "Why!?"
"Because I have greatly wronged you, child." Suzume admitted reluctantly.
"How?"
"Ten years ago I took from you something that was not within my right to take."
"You…" Hidé's voice shook as understanding dawned on him, " You're the one that did this to me? Why…?!"
"I love your grandmother," Suzume replied without hesitation, "I love her very much. Too much. For her sake I have done many thing I am not proud of."
Hidé struggled with all of this, "She asked you…?"
"Yes."
"That I am a God does not mean I am eternally clever. Love addled the mind of human and kami alike. I made a mistake for which I can never recompense."
Hidé was on his feet and pacing.
Numbly Chihiro could feel the boat sway more to the left and the right in his passing. "You have every right to hate me, child," The fox cut, "But do not hate your grandmother."
"I don't hate you. I don't hate Obaasama either." Hidé struggled with words, "It's just none of this makes any sense!"
"Then sit and listen!" Suzume snapped, "You rock the boat and it makes me ill!"
"S-sorry," Hidé muttered as he sank to a seat, ceasing to make the floor pitch. Taking a composing breath, the fox continued.
"Your grandmother does not believe me when I say you cannot be taken. She had lost too much and so she expects to loose everything. That drove her to do what she did. And in my weakness I could not tell her no."
"You're talking about my mother… Aren't you?"
Chihiro barely hear him, he was so very quiet.
"Yes." Suzume answered equally as quiet, "You must believe me when I tell you she is not the monster your grandmother makes her out to be."
"She killed Manami!" Hidé choked on his own wrath.
"Did she?" The fox countered frostily, "Reika believes this to be true. I do not."
Again Hidé sputtered furiously, but Suzume cut him off.
"Child, you are blessed with many strengths but you are still mortal. Why would your mother risk killing you if her goal was to kill Manami?"
Mrs. Nikkou's grandson lapsed into silence, but Suzume had words enough for both of them. As he spoke it was in a gentle voice soaked with sincerity.
"Your grandfather's death and your sister's were accidents. Horrible, untimely, unavoidable accidents. There was nothing any of us could have done to avert them. Nothing. These words come from the lips of a God. I cannot lie."
For a time Chihiro could only hear the rain drumming on the roof.
It sounded lighter, almost like it was letting up.
"What does all that mean?" Hidé hushed uncertainly.
"It means that the choice is yours. As it has always been." Suzume returned inscrutability, "It cannot be made for you. You must choose what you wish to become."
The fox's robes rustled as at once he stood, mildly annoyed as always.
"Shall I take her home? That is the reason you called me here, is it not?"
"I… I want to keep her," Hidé was torn, "But it'll just make things worse if she wakes up tomorrow and sees me."
"As you wish." The fox pronounced as his footsteps approached.
"For the record, I don't care how this works out!" Hidé threw after the God, "I just want what's best for her. I love her."
Before she could sit up overwhelming tiredness rolled over her, drowning her in the bitter taste of magic. Already she was drifting. She couldn't so much as open her eyes let alone speak. Someone very gently picked her up. Perhaps she was dreaming now, because Chihiro could feel silky fur beneath her hands. It was soft. Not as soft as Haku's, but she cuddled into it all the same.
"Hey. Hey?!" It sounded like Hidé was in another room, growing father and farther away as he shouted after them, "At least tell me she'll be okay!"
"I know not the future, child!" The fox bit back irritability, "Why you mortals always assume this I will never know!"
But here his voice tempered. And it sounded like he was talking to himself now, almost like he was making a promise.
"This I do know. On my honor I will serve and protect her with my life."
With that Chihiro went out like a light.
She sat bolt upright.
Only to find herself back in her room at the Onsen.
Words died on her lips she found herself staring at Hidé's mural.
Staring at the little boy with blue eyes standing on the cliff tops.
Her windows were open, curtains billowing in the crisp night air. All that was left of the rain clouds were tatters. And a cool breeze quickly hurried these across the star scattered sky. It was either very early or very late. One way or the other, she was wide awake. Getting up she found the rest of the Onsen dark, even the God House. Suddenly afraid of the empty hallways she retreated down the back stairs seeking the kitchen's warmth only to pause in the doorway. Because the light was on. The room was ridiculously clean, sparkling even. She could have asphyxiated on pine fumes. A mop lay in a puddle in the middle of the floor. Steam rose out of the bucket. And she stared at both in confusion.
"I know you are here."
Chihiro jumped as Suzume's voice carried from the hallway.
He sounded utterly exhausted and so very, very sad.
Thinking he was talking to her Chihiro pushed between the curtains and came toward the great room. But she paused at the open fusuma, finding the fox posed in the middle of the veranda stairs. Every fiber of his being was tense as if he was ready to spring. His wide gold eyes swept over the garden, dilated pupils searching intently. And she had no idea what he was looking for.
"Why do you hide from me?"
Again his words were uncommonly gentle.
But he wasn't talking to her.
Like the shifting surface of a lake shadows moved along the doorway behind him. And if only for a moment Chihiro saw the dim outline of a cloaked figure as it attempted to sneak past the fox. Whirling he caught it round the middle. Someone gasped as they crashed against the tatami mats. Chihiro backed right into the hallway unsure of what to do as they wrestled about, soundlessly knocking the great table aside. Surging around in a movement so swift Suzume pinned the thrashing specter to the floor with a thud so firm it jolted the entire room. And his face twisted with the exertion it took to hold it down, because whatever it was fighting back and winning.
"Please do not run!" He beseeched in a sharp whisper.
At once the specter fell still.
"Please…" The fox repeated desperately.
All the color drained from him, leaving him spider silk pale in the moonlight. Thoroughly exhausted Suzume dropped his head onto the thing's chest.
"I am so very tired tonight." He murmured with a sigh, "But you? You are so much stronger than I. Should you run I will chase. You are swifter. I shall not be able to catch you. And I feel as if I might die in the trying. Because all I want is to be near you."
Long and slender, a single hand parted its way free of the tattered cloak, shaking as it smoothed the deep lines etched into the fox's face. Suzume drew back, letting the thing sit up so he could pushed back its mask.
The ripples parted as Lin's cloak faded, leaving her scarred nose inches from his. And the fox's eyes burned like fire in the dark.
As if she was the most precious thing in the world, Suzume collected Lin's face into his hands. He leaned in to kiss her. Slowly. Without hurry. As if he was done chasing things. But Lin was more than happy to pursue. Seizing the front of Suzume's kimono she bowled him over backwards. And the fox let out a started yip as his head hit the floor. Turning away, Chihiro fled the sounds filtering from across the room, sprinting up the back stairs, running for her room.
Chihiro slammed the door.
Because she was happy for them. So very happy.
But at the same time she hated them both.
And it was awful and horrible.
Misery flooded her insides as Chihiro got into bed.
And cried herself back to sleep.