Sorry it's been so long since my last up date but this chapter would not come together. Hope you like it.
Chapter 38.
Kate and I share the experiences of our first day in paid employment. We both feel utterly exhausted our brains fried at having to absorb all the aspects of our chosen professions. She has a slave driver of a boss; I have one that stands too close invading my space making me feel uncomfortable.
I am trying not to be too freaked out by this as I have a lot to learn and have to concentrate getting it right. I will deal with Jack Hyde's invasion of my space when I have become better known after all I don't want to be seen as a whiner.
We order pizza, as I don't feel like cooking and Kate is a car wreck in the kitchen, and open a bottle of cheap and cheerful wine. Of course as the evening progresses our talk naturally comes around the Grey men, the Grey men who have us blushing and giggling like school kids.
"When are you seeing Elliot again?" I ask stretching out on my front on the floor helping myself to a slice of pepperoni pizza.
"I don't know, I told him to stay away tonight"
I snort "I told Christian I didn't want to see him tonight as well" don't ask us why but this makes us fall about laughing.
"Well" says Kate "I wouldn't throw him out of bed if he decided to drop by this evening. What about Christian?"
"No I need some space from him, I need to think."
"What is there to think about? Don't tell me it's about the money" Kate rolls her eyes at the thought.
Of course Kate has been brought up with money she is used to an extravagant life style, best schools, and designer clothes are normal for her not for me I was truly overwhelmed with it all.
"Kate you know, he has a very different life style and I don't know if I can cope with it all." Kate sits on the floor with me and puts her arms around me in a hug.
"Ana he cares for you is obvious he looked so proud of you. Proud you were by his side he couldn't take his eyes off you all evening."
"It was too much, he spent too much; the dress, underwear, shoes, and those beautiful ear-rings cost a fortune and next morning just after I had phoned you he tells me he had clothes sent to Escala for me to wear because he knew I would need some ordinary clothes; Kate he expected me to sleep with him and…and I felt as though I had been bought. And those women in the rest room…" with that I succumb to tears.
Kate holds me for the longest time.
Hiccupping trying pull myself together, I find a tissue in my pocket and blow my nose and wipe my eyes.
"Kate, I think I'm falling in love with him."
"I can see that Ana."
"Am I that obvious?"
"Hell yes."
"And so what would the famous Kavenaugh wisdom tell me to do?"
"My gods Ana enjoy the ride. He is obviously into you; couldn't take his eyes off you at the ball. He was livid at his mom for what she said. Which incidentally she was talking to Mr Grey and that woman was eves dropping. She didn't gossip about you to anyone. But you have to understand, Ana, Grace is very protective of her kids and especially of Christian as he had such a rough start."
"I appreciate that Kate, but as I say it has been so overwhelming. Thank you for being there I feel so much better now. Maybe I just needed a good cry."
"That's what friends are for Ana. How many times have you been there for me in the past four years with Ben and Jerry's, a box of tissues and pink rabbit pyjamas?"
Before I can respond to Kate my cell phone rings. It's Christian, and my heart leaps into my mouth and feel myself quivering with excitement at the thought of talking to him. Just as I'm about to tell Kate, her phone demands her attention she looks at the caller ID and grins "Elliot" and with a quick hug we go into our bedrooms for some privacy.
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"Hi sweetheart' how did it go today?" his voice is warm and gentle and I melt at the sound of it. I'm regretting asking him to stay away tonight but I really needed the space to think. I have feelings for him I can't help that but it's not just the money although that is daunting I will not let him spend money on me, it's not my style. But we will discuss that at some later date.
It's the other part of Christian's life that worries me, the part I haven't told Kate about nor will I that is between Christian and me. I did some internet research on the BDSM scene and I found it both shocking and intriguing at the same time. I'm sure he hasn't shown me the extent of what he calls his kinky fuckery; his coping mechanism being new to the game I'm not certain that I can travel down his path to keep him happy. I don't know what my limits are my boundaries lay. Mind you it might be fun exploring those boundaries. Hey ho perhaps I'll give 'em a try, but absolutely no way, is he going to hurt me.
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Christian. POV
After dinner with my mom and dad, the following Friday, Ana is far more relaxed. My mom apologised profusely for her instigating gossip and she told Ana in all sincerity that she had been talking solely to my dad and "that woman" had been dealt with.
I think by the end of the evening mom and dad were so enchanted by Ana that all of their reservations about Ana's motives had been reconciled
Taylor drove us home well, Ana said she was going to her apartment but I managed to persuade her to stay with me at Escala. Mind you, there was a lot of making out in the back of the car; I had my hands slapped more than once for wandering.
By the time we were in the elevator we were so turned on that if the ride had been longer we would have had sex in there. As we came out into the lobby I picked her up over my shoulder and carried her to my bedroom and we were undressed in nano seconds and I was buried deep inside her. It was like coming home.
Later when we sated for time being, Ana cuddled up to me and began to run her fingers down my chest I tensed and tried to ride through it but the burning sensation was far to great for me to bear and I had to take her hand away rather forcefully.
"Don't "and I got off the bed and dressed in boxers and a tee shirt.
She looked mortified, "I'm sorry I forgot. I didn't mean to hurt you" she whispered and I thought she was going to cry. But she got off the bed and went to the bathroom while I lay there mentally kicking myself for being so weak.
When she returned to bed she was dressed in a bathrobe I had hanging behind the door in the bathroom. She sat on the bed beside me and gently put her arm round my neck one hand in my hair she kissed me.
"Will you tell me how you coped in the past? You said that you practiced a BDSM lifestyle. How did you start with that did someone introduce you to it?"
I considered telling her about Elena Lincoln but frankly I didn't want to burden her with the thought of my stupidity as a teenager.
"Let me show you my playroom and then I can explain more easily. Have you been on the internet?"
She blushes and looks nervous as she nods her head. I smile at her,
"There a lot of aspects I don't practice Ana. I don't go for the whole discipline, or having someone as a submissive. So I suppose I'm not truly in the lifestyle; look let me show you; come with me"
So I take her upstairs and show her my playroom.
######
Ana POV.
Christian unlocks the door and turns the lights on. He gently pushes me forward his hand in the small of my back.
What I am looking at is a room painted deep red; there is a cornice all around from which the concealed lighting reflects casting the room in soft light. If there are windows they are hidden as there is no light from outside.
Up against one wall there is an ornate carved dark wooden four poster bed with red sheets and black cushions. From each of the four corners, gleaming softly in the light are thin metal chains are attached ending in what looks like hand cuff. At the foot of the bed set a few feet apart is an ox-blood leather chesterfield couch. There is a soft looking deep red rug on the polished wood floor between the couch and the bed.
On the wall to the left of the bed is a carved wooden X cross and again, fine chains and cuffs are secured to it.
I turn and look at Christian and he is watching me intently. I say anything because I think I am in shock, but I curiously begin to further explore the room.
To the right of the door there is a chest of drawers, each drawer is slim as if it designed to hold museum specimens; I fleeting wonder just what the drawers contain. Beside the chest is a rack holding an assortment of riding crops, paddles, and funny looking feathery implements.
There is nothing in this sensual room which suggests anything is extremely harsh; having seen some examples of "dungeons" on line; that have racks of canes and whips, carabineers, whipping benches or restraining horse no Christian's play room is not anything like them.
"Say something" his voice is husky as if his throat is dry.
As I turn to face him I can see that he is anxious to know what I may be thinking.
"Why all this?" I finally say waving my arm at the room.
"Because, it's the only way I have been able to have any sexual relationships" he runs his hand through his already messy hair. "I think I have told you that I don't like being touched." he sighs. "I know… look let's go back down stairs." and he takes my hand and leads me back downstairs into the great room. He sits me on the couch and goes into the kitchen area returning with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
He pours us each a drink then sits down beside me shifting his position so that he is looking directly at me.
"I have told you about my early childhood, and that left me with all the hang ups I have. I have told you about my life style and until recently it was the only way for me.
I had agreements of sort of contractual nature with women who were in the same life style as me. With these women, there were no emotions involved a purely sexual relationship no stings attached. We didn't date; the only time we met was over the weekends here. I got my release and they got theirs. And as I said, I never thought that for me there would be any other way" he watches me carefully his eyes sincere a slight frown on his forehead. And he is tense holding his glass tightly his breathing hard. "I know that it is difficult for you to believe, "He swallows the slight bob of his Adam's apple betraying his anxiety. "But, since I met you, things have changed. Before you I never had sex in my bed, never slept in the same bed with anyone; never wanted to spend time, be seen, or introduce any of the girls to my family. I'm not selling you a line, Ana. I want you any way I can get you. But I want to be honest with you, I come with baggage and I realise that over this past weeks you have been subjected to a lot of it and I will understand if you feel you can't live with it all." again he stops takes a drink and breaths deeply .
"I want you to be my girl-friend. Please will you give me a chance?"
"Do you want to do the same things with me as with the others?"
"Only if you want to and only when you are ready"
"What about your" coping methods" I air quote.
"Well I think we have managed so far with just holding your hands and making you aware don't you?"
I remember my feelings after reading the research that there were some aspects that I found exciting.
"If we take it slowly, and you don't physically hurt me. I can try. If I don't like what you do I will expect you to stop."
A broad grin splits his face, "Ana I will never ask you to do anything you don't want. And at the moment I'm quite enjoying getting to know you in a more or less normal way. The other thing is whether you can put up with all the crap that comes with me, the media and so on"
I put my hands on each side of his face and kiss him, "I want you as my boy-friend lets see how it goes."
With that he stands, picks me up and carries me to his bed.