Oh my gosh! I have been working on this story for almost a year (The anniversary being the 31st of this month). I can't believe it took nearly 100K words and 38 chapters! And I am still debating writing a sequel because there's so much more I want to do. Thank you all for sticking with it this far. Special thanks to 100ratseminA . I probably would have given up on the story if it wasn't for their support :) I hope you enjoy this! I really do :)

The day before Gaara's leaving to retrieve his future bride came. The whole village knew and were celebrating. People prepared to see him off the next day and to greet the woman who would become his wife. I almost wore black that day. Almost but not quite. I wore navy blue sweats instead of my white ones and a matching long sleeved shirt. It was similar to Shikamaru's wear with my vest zipped over it all. Even it was not white but dark green. I just couldn't bring myself to wear that light color.

I walked down the streets aimlessly. Shou had the day off. He was with his friends gossiping about the Kazekage and future bride. I bought a few trinkets at shops, I talked to strangers, I did everything I could to get my mind off what was going on.

The evidence was all around me though, and eventually I gave up trying to be in the city. An hour past noon I retreated to my room. I was planning on staying in it the rest of the day until I heard a knock on the door. Temari walked in without me responding.

"What are you moping about?" She asked as blunt as usual. She always told it like it was.

I shook my head. What do you mean?

"Something's got you pouting like a little kid. What is it?" She sat down on the small couch in the room, crossing her arms.

Nothing. I'm perfectly fine. Is that all you needed? I was dismissing her. I didn't feel like dealing with her attitude. Not today.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with our Kazekage getting married would it?"

I almost dropped my pen, catching it in time.

"That's what I thought. Your acting like a brat because you still like him eh? Can't even get over a childhood crush? Didn't you receive emotional training?" She smirked.

With all due respect I don't think you know what you're talking about Temari. I narrowed my eyes.

"It's pretty obvious. Your pinning after a guy who doesn't care for you anymore. A guy who you had small crush on what was it… three? Four? Five years ago?" She let out a chuckle, her gaze never leaving mine.

Leave. I stood up.

She didn't take the memo. "Don't you know how to give a guy up? You're awfully clingy. No wonder why you're all alone. That pretty face of yours isn't enough to keep them around once they get to know you."

Temari get out! I balled up my fists. Why was she doing this? I had never done anything to her before.

"I bet Sasuke left the village just because he couldn't stand you. That's probably why Gaara's getting married too. He's getting married so you'll stop with your pathetic obsession with him. It's a nuisance for you to love him w-"

Smack!

I stared at my hand. I never thought I would get so angry. I never thought I would go that far. I actually slapped Temari. But my anger was not yet defused. I don't care who you are. Who's blood you share. You have no right to talk to me that way. So what? So what if I love Gaara? So what if I'm upset because he's getting married to someone who is NOT me. I have feelings and I have every right to do with them as I please. YOU have no right to tell me what to think! You have no right to criticize my love! You can mock me as you wish but it won't change a thing! I love him and that's that!

Temari had one hand on her cheek, but instead of a look of shock or anger on her face, she had a sideways smirk, almost a smile. She stood up. "So you admit it. Finally. As I thought, you weak leaf ninja need a push."

I blinked. What just happened? Did she trick me?

"So now that you admit your feelings what are you going to do? Going to finally tell my oblivious brother?" She crossed her arms in a very Gaara-like fashion.

I sighed, all anger gone. So she had played me and done it well. No. I can't.

"Fine fine. Be that way. But just ask yourself: Why not? Why can't you two be together? Is there anything stopping you guys?" She walked toward the door and stopped right before she left. "If you come up with a good answer I'll leave you alone."

I sank down onto the couch. What the hell? Of course I had a reason why we couldn't be together. It was because… because… we…

And that was when the weight of her words sunk in. I couldn't think of a real reason as to why we couldn't be together except one. Only one reason why we weren't in love and why I hadn't confessed.

Because I was a coward.

~V~

~V~

And finally the day came. I didn't sleep the previous night but stayed up staring at the moon. At the stars and the way they were so bright here. So warm and familiar. I also found the picture I had taken with Gaara and Shou. Shou was looking towards the camera with a smile so big his eyes were practically shut. The smile I had on was crooked and my head was tilted to the side. Gaara… I had paused when I saw him. His eyes were not on the camera but towards me, the corners of his lips turned up as he watched my face. It was probably just a strange coincidence but I was happy with the photo.

Before the sun rose the village started to move. People migrated from the streets to the village wall all to watch the Kazekage go and to send him off with love. Shou knocked on my door and called me out.

"Are you coming to see him off?" He asked. The previous three days he had been quiet. Ever since he found out. I nodded. It was what was expected of me. Together we walked silently through the streets. Shou kept looking at me but I pretended I didn't notice.

The walls were crowded with dozens of people. Everyone waiting for the Kazekage. We climbed up and joined them, people giving us a large berth. Temari and Kankuro were standing a yard away. I avoided any eye contact with the female of the duo.

"I thought you liked him…" Shou mumbled.

In the ninja world, there are many things that come before personal feelings. I kept my attitude formal, wearing white once more. White… the loneliest color. An absence of anything.

"I don't get it…"

I patted Shou on the shoulder and at the commotion of the crowd I looked down the road. Gaara was walking through the gates right now. Surrounding him were five Shinobi, all Jonin rank. I was glad my mask hid most of my face. I didn't know how well I was hiding my emotions

"Are you just going to let him go Sensei?" Shou looked at me, confused.

It is not my place to interfere with his future. With the future of this village. I wrote, turning around and taking a few steps away from the scene. I had watched him leave and that was all I was needed for.

"You don't really believe that do you?" He continued.

I froze. Those words… just as Jiraiya had spoken. He was right. I didn't believe it.

"You taught me to fight to protect those I love! Why aren't you doing the same thing! Why aren't you fighting for what you love?"

I wanted him to stop. I didn't want to be lectured by my own student.

"You're being a coward! If you love him then go after him! You said that there are eight causes of death! But you forgot one! You forgot... regret..." He didn't stop. He didn't see the tears had started to leak out of my eyes.

I looked up. In front of me I saw Temari. She had a solid expression on as she looked at me. To her left stood Kankuro. His face was much the same. All around me: everyone's eyes were on me and Shou. Expecting. They all wanted me to turn around.

I stopped walking away and pivoted on my foot. Gaara was already a hundred feet away from the wall. My hand shook as I slowly pulled my mask down to my neck. He was going to be lost to me again. And I didn't want that. I was scared of being afraid. Naruto came into my head. My vision of bravery. Of never giving up when you wanted something. I wanted to be like him. Lend me your strength Naruto. I thought.

"Ga...a…" I tried to say Gaara's name. It came out gurgled. "Gaara" Even though it was a whole word it wasn't enough. I swallowed, closing my eyes and summoning all of my will. "GAARA!" I screamed after him. I forgot how my voice sounded. It was so foreign I wasn't sure it was mine.

He stopped walking and spun around so fast the people around him didn't notice at first. He had recognized how my voice sounded after all this time. Everyone's eyes were on the two of us. I dropped my pad. "Gaara…" I jumped off the wall where I was watching and down onto the sand below. I ran.

And for the first time I saw Gaara running towards something and not away.

I crashed into him, wrapping my arms around him. He was probably surprised but he didn't show it. Instead he wrapped his arms around me.

"THAT'S MY SENSEI!"

I let out a half-sob, half-laugh. My first laugh in four years.

"Gaara." I repeated, moving back so I could see his face.

"Calista." He breathed.

"Gaara… I… I…"

Deep breaths. I steadied my resolved and studied my feet, looking at them and clenching my fists. "I'm not brave like Naruto. I'm not wise like Shikamaru. I'm not graceful like Neji. I'm weak and I'm childish and I'm innocent. I'm always tripping and messing things up. I have the worst luck. I have a thousand secrets that I can't tell you or anyone else about. I've only been back a month… so there is so much you don't know. So much darkness. So much abnormality. But… but… I…" I stood up straight and looked him in the eyes, letting my emotions flow through. A smile wormed its way onto my lips. "I love you Gaara. Aishiteru." I spoke the one word most people said once in a lifetime if even that. The true word of love.

His eyes widened before they softened and he reached for my hand. "Then let me protect you when you lack courage, let me guide you when you don't know the way, and let me take your hand when you feel you are about to fall. I will be your strength and good luck charm. Let me learn. Let me learn all of your secrets. Whatever darkness plagues your waking dreams…give it to me. I cannot promise I will be able to erase it… but I can share it. I can make the burden more bearable. If you become mine alone. If you swear yourself to me. If you marry me." He got down on one knee before me, looking up into my eyes.

"Gaara… I…" There were no words in this dimension or that of Gods to describe what I was feeling.

"I don't need you to say anything but one word. Say Yes."

Every road I had taken had led me to this moment. Every heartbreak, every fight, every tear and every laugh. It was more than fate. It was every factor in my life working towards a final goal. Pushing me forward until I reached this spot. Like the lance I had continued to move forward and now…

Now I was a Gold General.

I finally understood what Shikaku meant. And I finally understood what I had to do.

"Yes!" I cried, flinging myself down and wrapping my arms around Gaara's neck. "Yes. I do!"

I didn't hear the cheering from the village walls in joy for their Kazekage. All I heard was the beat of Gaara's heart as it raced alongside mine. And all I felt were his lips, speaking all the emotions that words lack.

The End

Ima tear up thinking about how this is over T_T. I love you all!

And I need an opinion. Sequel? Yes/No? Would you guys like that? Or should I just end it here and let you guys make up the rest of it?