AN: oh my god! Thank you so much for the reviews! Option 2 won out but don't hurt me for this chapter! It was a doozy but a pleasure to write. Option one only list by 2 votes. I hope everyone likes it! Please review because it makes me happy!
tishbing
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Spock watch in detached horror as the medical team lifted Charlotte onto an anti-grav stretcher, her body limp and face pale. Smears of blood and fluids were left on the transporter pad. He followed behind them as they rushed to the sickbay, the corridors were a white blur.
The medical bay instantly went on alert as they entered. McCoy barked orders, nurses attached lines and IVs and orderlies quickly cut away Charlotte's clothing and placed her on a surgical table despite her weak protestations. Spock felt superfluous. There was not anything for him to do to help and he did not wish to risk impeding the medical staff's efforts. He hovered at the edge of the room while Charlotte was prepped for surgery when he felt a roll of fabric pressed into his hands. Spock's head turned and Christine Chapel was the epitome of professional calm, more like a Kohlinar adept than the happy nurse he was used to.
"Put these on now. Charlotte and those babies need you." She ordered him.
As if in a fog, he quickly pulled the scrubs over his clothes, booties on his shoes and mask over his face. Once he was properly attired Nurse Chapel pulled him into the surgical suite. Charlotte was as pale as porcelain, her eyes glassy and her body was trembling in the cool room. She was laid on the narrow table, her arms in a T shape reminiscent of a criminal on a crucifix. He was afraid. He felt responsible and that right now Charlotte and two innocents may be dying because of him. Because of his biology.
"Spock?" Charlotte's voice was weak. Her hand wiggled for contact and he obliged her as Nurse Baker attached the last drape which concealed McCoy and M'Benga as they started the task of delivering their children and simultaneously saving his wife.
"Spock, we've started. We're almost to the uterine cavity." M'Benga informed him calmly. Spock could hear alarms pinging and he gripped Charlotte's hand tighter. Charlotte turned to him, her face twisted in pain and fear.
"Spock...I want to tell you-"
"Ashaya, everything will be well." He wasn't sure if he was telling Charlotte or himself. His control was almost gone. He could feel the surge of fear from his bond and he tried to send comfort but his own concerns and fears stifled his attempts.
The doors to the bay opened again and Nurse Cho and T'Peni walked in with brisk efficiency and two infant warmers and resuscitation equipment. It only added to Charlotte's panic.
"Baby A. A girl. Time 10:00." M'Benga announced and quickly handed a very small bundle to T'Peni. Charlotte's eyes darted to follow the infant that was silent. Her eyes horrified. Spock placed a hand on her cheek in an attempt to comfort her. He felt the warm tears spill over his fingers.
"Suction! Dammit! I need more suction!" McCoy shouted to Baker.
"Baby B. A boy. Time 10:02." M'Benga passed the second bundle to Cho who quickly started working on the second silent bundle. The fact that there was no sounds other than the medical team and the monitoring equipment added to the thick oppressive fear that permeated the air.
"Dammit, her uterus is boggy."
Chapel looked up. "Pressure's down. 90/50. Pulse rate is 120."
Charlotte's hands were like ice and her trembling had stopped. Her head slumped to one side as the frantic sounds of M'Benga and McCoy became a buzz surrounding them. Her eyes suddenly fixated on something next to Spock and the next words Charlotte spoke sent chills to his core.
"Oh God. I'm bleeding out."
His head flipped and saw the collection container and it was filling rapidly with red fluid. Blood that was supposed to be inside Charlotte, not in a container.
"We need to clamp off the uterine artery. It's not contracting to seal the blood vessels after the loss of the placentas!"
Spock could hear alarms wailing from his left where his children were and to his right where Charlotte was. He could feel her slipping away, her eyes now closed and Chapel tipping her head back to place a tube in her throat. He was lost, now more than ever. The chaos taking place around him continued as he tried to reach Charlotte in vain. The monitors now screaming. He felt tugging on him. Someone pulling his fingers away from Charlotte's hand. Strong arms pulled him from the room. His last sight of Charlotte was of her body jumping from a jolt of electricity to try and restart her heart, the phantom echo hitting him in the chest where his heart wasn't.
He needed to be with his mate. She was alone. Spock fought against the arms holding him. He heard a woman's voice through his insanity but nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't leave Charlotte to die alone. He felt a stinging in his neck and the world went black.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Spock jerked awake, the dim lights still bright enough to make his head pound dully. He pulled himself into a sitting position and closed his eyes to search for the bond. He focused on the thin golden chain but it lead nowhere. A blank emptiness at the other end where there was once brightness.
"She is not dead."
Spock's eyes snapped open and spotted T'Peni standing in the doorway. Her face looked lined with concern, her mouth slightly down turned in concern and fatigue.
"But I do not feel her."
His voice was rough from the forced sleep. Sedatives never agreed with him and he felt the beginnings of nausea, though that may also be due to his strained bond.
"She arrested a further three times on the table. Dr's McCoy and M'Benga were forced to removed Miss Jones's uterus and were eventually able to control her bleeding but there are complications."
Spock's chest clenched.
"Elaborate."
"Due to the blood loss and cardiac complications, Miss Jones's brain was deprived of oxygen for a substantial amount of time. We have been unable to detect brain damage but she is unresponsive and in a coma. Currently, she is on life support to allow her body time to heal. It is possible that she may not awaken or that when she does she may not be the same person as she was."
Spock processed the doctor's words in a detached haze. His mind groping for Charlotte and coming up empty. An unbearable ache suffused his body.
"Your children are as well as can be expected. Your son was 3 lbs 12 oz and your daughter was 3 lbs 8 oz. Both are needing bi-pap machines to aid their oxygen intake. They have mild jaundice and umbilical lines have been placed for nutrition and hydration. They are struggling to maintain their body temperature but are stable."
Spock nodded numbly. He faintly felt guilt at not even enquiring about the children. He was torn and unsure of which way to go.
"You may see Charlotte then your children but only for a period of fifteen minutes each. You are in need of meditation and your control is fracturing."
She came close to Spock and lowered herself to his level so that he could see her face. Her brown eyes were tight with concern and understanding.
"My place is with my family." He argued. T'Peni shook her head sadly.
"Only if you do not add to the stress of the situation and are able to aid them in their recovery. With your shields as damaged as they are your emotions can bleed into them and cause them harm. Your children do not know how to shield and will pick up your concerns and anxiety."
Spock clenched his jaw and steeled himself for the argument that he had been fighting since his youth.
"I assure you that even though I am half human, my control is that of a full blooded vulcan." He felt his cheeks heat in anger and blamed it on the sedative that interfered with his physiology. T'Peni pursed her lips in irritation but it quickly turned to sympathy.
"Perhaps you misunderstand, Spock. It is not a matter of you being of mixed blood that is causing your control to fail. I know that your control rivals that of a full blooded vulcan. You know that we feel deeply and currently, what you are experiencing, would be enough to break the strongest of vulcans. You are forced to split your concerns and possibly face parenthood alone. Your bond is stretched and frayed, almost to the point of breaking. It is understandable to need time to process and heal yourself."
T'Peni stepped back and allowed Spock to follow her. T'Peni's words brought him a small measure of comfort. The fact that a healer was saying his control, even in his current state, was equal to a full blooded vulcan was surprising. T'Peni seemed more liberal in her lifestyle and he was grateful for his grandmother's meddling that brought her to them. Charlotte had told him of her problems and he resolved to assist her when this crisis was over.
T'Peni led him to a private room at the back of the medical bay. She pressed the button to open the door and allowed him to enter first. Chapel was making notations on a PADD and checking her vitals. Her head flipped up and upon seeing them she gave a nod and left with an apologetic look at Spock.
Charlotte was laying so still and was so pale that if he hadn't seen her chest move and hear the computer beep her heartbeat then he would have believed she was dead. Her blond curls fanned around her head in a halo that reminded Spock of the stories his mother would tell him of angels from the mythical heaven.
There were tubes disappearing under the sheets and one attached at her mouth, presumedly going down her throat to assist her with breathing. There were dark circles under her eyes and the bed seemed to swallow her. Charlotte looked so small and frail that it was like a physical blow to Spock seeing her like this. She always seemed so strong with her stubbornness and confidence but right now she was like a flower that had been kept from the sun. Weak and fragile.
"You may touch her. Research suggests that it is possible for a patient in this condition to react and respond to external stimuli so you may also speak to her."
"Thank you." He croaked. He moved closer to the still form and sat in the chair next to her bed, unsure if his legs would hold him for long. Charlotte's hand was small and so delicate that he hesitated before grasping it gently.
"I will return in twelve minutes."
He heard the doors shut softly but his focus was on the woman on the bed. Her chest rose and fell with computed precision by the machines helping her. There was no flutter under her eyelids that would normally be there if she was truly asleep, no answering echo in his mind, just...nothing.
"Charlotte, you must fight. Your children need you." He squeezed her hand.
"I need you. I do not know if I have the strength to continue without you by my side."
A tear slid down his cheek, warm and wet.
"I know that you would be angry at me for saying those things. I know that you would want me to be strong for our children and I will try but right now...I am lost."
He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and laid his head on her arm to feel her. It was all too soon when T'Peni returned.
She sent Chapel back in with a nod and if T'Peni saw tear tracks on his cheeks, she did not say anything. She just showed him to the room adjacent to Charlotte's with respectful professionalism.
The room was lit in soft tones with quiet rapid beeps coming from the monitors above two small clear containers. T'Pneni led him to the one closest to them and he looked closer and his breath caught. He had thought Charlotte looked fragile but this was just as terrifying and at the same time awe-inspiring.
"Your son."
He was tiny that Spock's hand could completely cover his torso. His eyes were covered and a hat hid his ears and most of his head. He had a tiny pointed chin and little fingers that were grasping at the air as his legs kicked out. He had a set of breathing tubes in his nose that was providing assistance for him to breath but not as invasive as Charlotte's. There was an intravenous line attached to his umbilical cord where medications and fluids were being supplied. His feet were covered in blue socks that seemed entirely too large for the size of his feet. It only made him seem more delicate.
"You may touch him. His mind is seeking his parental bonds and as his mother is unavailable that duty will fall to you."
Spock's head snapped up. He was not prepared for this. This was not supposed to occur. Charlotte was supposed to be here.
T'Peni seemed to read his expression and gave him a sympathetic glance as she opened the side of the incubator and lifted a sanitizer from the table next to it. She quickly ran the device over her hands and carefully ran them over Spock's before he could pull away.
"This is your duty and responsibility. They need you and Charlotte would probably be quite upset if you did not do this."
Spock nodded his agreement of this fact but it did little to temper his swirling emotions beneath the surface. He watched as the doctor carefully pulled the small blue hat off his son and then he noticed the minuscule pointed ears. He reached out a finger to touch and watched it unfurl like a delicate flower. Perfect and precious. T'Peni reached her fingers and gently laid a hand on his son's face then placed her other hand on Spock's meld points.
He felt a gentle rush like that of cool water on his mind, an older and wiser soul.
Look within. Meet your son.
Spock closed his eyes and saw a small glowing ball of light, serene and bright. He reached towards it and knew that this was his son. Love and excitement bloomed at this new and amazing soul that was so much like him. A name floated to the forefront of his mind and he knew that his son had identified it from his mother's thoughts when they had been joined. Grayson.
He felt T'Peni withdraw and opened his eyes but that small tentative collection to his son...to Grayson remained. He looked at his son gently caressed his little head. He stilled and Spock felt contentment from him.
He had to force himself to pull away and allow T'Peni to close the incubator door. T'Peni nodded her approval and moved to the next incubator.
His daughter was slightly larger but no less fragile. The only difference was that she was wearing pink instead of blue. Her features were softer, more round than that of her twin. They reminded him of his mother. Her tiny fist was waving in the air almost as if in indignation of being here.
T'Peni repeated the sanitizing procedure and lifted the tiny hat. Her ears were just as pointed as her brothers but they were pressed against her skull. Fine wisps of black hair stuck up in deference to her vulcan heritage. The Vulcan woman laid her hands on them and Spock found his precious daughter quickly. Whereas Grayson had been a calm, bright light, his daughter's presence vibrated with excitement and humor. A bubbling, curious presence that was impatient at being found as she latched onto him with gusto. She was truly her mother's daughter. T'Anwen. Spock frowned in confusion and realized that it was a vulcanized human name. Anwen meaning very beautiful and then he understood for his little T'Anwen was indeed beautiful both in appearance and mind. Charlotte would be very proud of them both.
T'Peni and Spock withdrew but now he had two new precious bonds that stayed with him. He watched as the hatch was closed and swayed on his feet exhausted. He needed to return to Charlotte but one look at T'Peni told him that there was no way she would allow that.
"You may return in eight hours if you have meditated, rested and eaten an adequate meal."
Spock looked at his children and then at the wall where he knew his wife lay before agreeing to the stipulations.
"Very well. I will return shortly."
"Do you wish for me to contact Sarek?" She asked quietly.
"Please." He mumbled as he left.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Spock returned to the medical bay eight hours later to the second. Upon entering the room he saw his father speaking with Dr. McCoy at the door leading to Charlotte's room. Both of them were speaking in low serious tones. Spock joined them and they looked up as he approached.
"Father. Doctor." He greeted. He glanced at the closed door. He had still been unable to sense Charlotte in their bond and it was a major concern for him. He knew though that she was on a lot of medications.
"She's doing as well as can be expected. We tried to remove the tube but she didn't respond too well to it so we'll try again tomorrow to give her a little more time."
Spock felt a part of him break at that but he still held onto hope. She was not doing worse. Sarek stepped forward and placed a supporting hand on his shoulder, no doubt an habit picked up from the humans he had spent a lifetime working with. The gesture was appreciated.
"Son, the doctor was speaking with me and informed me that the Enterprise is leaving orbit in a week. He believes that as Charlotte and the children are fragile that it may be best if they are moved to the main hospital complex on New Vulcan to complete their recovery."
Sarek's voice was calm but his eyes betrayed him in showing his concern. Spock did not want them to leave the Enterprise. He did not want them to be placed in the care of physicians that did not know them. And most of all he could not bear the thought of being forced to leave them behind.
"I cannot leave them there." He pleaded.
McCoy put his hands up. "Whoa! Spock, no one is asking you to. You've got enough leave stored up and a lot of the crew donated their paid time off after they heard to make sure you can stay with them. I would never suggest you go warping off without them when they need you. Jim set it up and Sarek says that there's plenty of room for everyone at his home."
Spock breathed a sigh of relief that he would not be forced to leave behind his family.
"I am concerned about Charlotte's care though. The healers may not be well versed in human medicine." Spock frowned slightly as he spoke and McCoy patted his arm gently but his features tensed slightly.
"T'Peni will be transferring as the primary physician for the twins and Ensign Jones."
Spock knew the reason for McCoy's hurt. He was afraid that T'Peni was going to remain on New Vulcan. He may know of her family's request for her to bond with a Vulcan. Spock understood the doctor's pain and resolved to speak with Sarek once they had a moment alone.
"Thank you, doctor. How are the babies?"
McCoy perked up and smiled, raising an arm to lead them into the private suite. He wanted to see Charlotte first but he was glad of the opportunity for some good news. Spock heard Sarek's breath hitch at the sight of the two small infants that had been moved to a single incubator. They were pressed up against each other and Spock could feel their peace from this distance. It was a wise decision to bring them together. After all, they had spent the past seven months in close quarters in Charlotte's womb.
"Any names?" McCoy asked as he picked up his tricorder to run a preliminary scan over the babies.
"My son is named Grayson after my mother and my daughter is T'Anwen. A welsh name meaning very beautiful." Spock still couldn't quite comprehend they were really there. Charlotte made beautiful children and he looked forward to when she would wake and hold them in her arms. And he firmly believed it would be when and not if. She was stubborn and he was grateful for that fact.
Sarek stepped forward and looked at his grandchildren, an expression of wonder on his face. Dr. McCoy wouldn't have seen it but Spock knew it was there.
"They are perfect. Your mother would have been so proud and happy." Sarek laid a hand on the glass and watched as the children slept. Spock wondered if Sarek had had the same reaction when he was born. A throat cleared and Spock turned to the doctor.
"They're doing very well for being so premature. T'Anwen has a minor heart defect. An atrial septal defect that should resolve by her first birthday. It's non-symptomatic and shouldn't cause any problems. Grayson is doing well. Both are showing signs of fighting the bi-pap machines and they may be removed as early as tonight. We think that tomorrow we may want to insert nasal-gastric tubes to introduce formula since Charlotte isn't awake to produce breastmilk. Their suck and swallow reflect is still too weak to attempt bottles but that should improve in time. Their bilirubin levels are tapering off so they'll be able to come out from the lights in a couple of days and then we'll be able to see those beautiful eyes for more than a minute. I'd say in a month they'll be ready to be discharged."
McCoy showed Spock and Sarek to a set of chairs next to the incubators and retrieved warm blankets that he wrapped the tiny babies in.
"T'Peni and I agreed that some skin-to-skin contact would be a good bonding exercise for you so shirt off, Mr. Spock."
Both Sarek and Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise as McCoy instructed the computer to raise the temperature and he carefully complied with the doctors instructions. Soon both arms were filled with his children. A happy and relaxed thrum passed through him as they nuzzled into his warmth. McCoy had removed the covers but both children seemed content to sleep in his arms. Sarek watched with a small smile playing on his lips.
"I'll be back in thirty minutes." McCoy left and Spock closed his eyes, feeling the tiny feet flex and kick against him.
"Grayson resembles you when you were an infant while T'Anwen is more like your mother. It is pleasing to see this. I look forward to when they are able to be released."
"As do I." Spock tightened his grip and lowered his head to rest it on the tiny heads on his chest.
They sat in silence. The only sounds were the tiny grunts of the children. McCoy returned quickly and once the children were returned to their incubator and Spock dressed he led Spock and Sarek to Charlotte's room.
Sarek's sharp intake of breath mirrored Spock's own heartbreak. She looked no different from the last time he was there.
"Doctor, what is her chance of recovery?" Sarek asked quickly.
"I don't know. It's up to her. I'd say that she's got a good chance considering her stubborn nature. The first step is getting her off the ventilator and getting her supporting her own systems then it's a matter of her waking up." McCoy's brown eyes looked sad and strained as he reviewed Charlotte's readings.
Spock sat in the guest chair next to his wife and gently brushed a stray curl off her forehead. There was no spark from the gentle contact. It made him feel hollow. Like a piece of him was missing and he wondered when he would feel the bright light that was Charlotte shine again. He hoped it was soon.