Hello my lovelies, forgive me for vanishing for two months. My only excuse is school, but I will continue! I'm so close to finishing- I'm not giving up now. The countdown to the end of this story can now begin!
Review!
-Missy

I quietly turned the knob of our motel room door. Mom was an extremely light sleeper, so if I got away with this, I would drag Trisha to church—and that's saying a lot.

I opened the door and peeked my head into the small gap. Thankfully, my mother was still fast asleep on the sofa, facing the wall. It was strange seeing her sleeping. Growing up, if I even opened the door to my room, my mother would be wide awake, asking me what I needed. But at the moment, she seemed so venerable.

I tiptoed across the carpet floor, holding my breath as I passed the sofa. I stopped outside the bedroom door, carefully planning how I could open it without making any noise. But at least now I was safely inside; I couldn't believe I had gotten away with it—

"I'm awake, Alex." Mom said. I guess I spoke too soon.

I spun around and smiled sweetly, "Hi mom, I was just getting some water." I lied. I was a terrible liar, but maybe mom had forgotten. She hadn't.

"I wasn't aware there was a water fountain outside." she replied, sitting up.

My mind raced for an excuse, but all I could say was, "Yeah, neither did I."

It was stupid, even I knew that. But I couldn't exactly tell her where I had gone, she would be mad at me. I didn't want to risk putting a rift between the relationship we were just beginning to rebuild. But lying wasn't a very good way to start.

Mom didn't say anything at first, she just gave me a knowing smiling. After a few seconds of silence, she said "You went to see Elizabeth, didn't you?"

Now it was my turn to be silent; She knew, there was no doubt about it, but I still debated making up some lie. I finally sighed, what was the use?

"Yes... How'd you know?" I admitted.

Mom smirked, "Elizabeth and I were best friends, I can tell from that look in your eyes that she gave you a taste of her silver tongue."

"Actually, she wasn't that bad." I said, but mom wasn't listening. She was smiling to herself, like she had just remembered a funny memory. I stared at her watching her stare at space for a few minutes before she muttered something that sounded like "Oh Elizabeth".

I wasn't sure if I was in trouble or not, but mom didn't seem mad, so I might as well leave now. Plus, she seemed to be reminiscing her days with Elizabeth and Gracie.

"Well, I'm really exhausted so I'm going to try to sleep a bit." I said, backing up, "Goodnigh-, um, I guess technically it's morning now."

Moms' head snapped up, and her eyes seemed to come back to reality, "Wait, Alexandra, sit down for a minute."

The moment she said 'Alexandra', I knew I was in trouble.

"Yes mom?" I asked, sitting down on the lumpy couch next to her. This is the closest I've been to her since she returned. Seeing her now made me a little sad; she didn't look like my bright, vibrant mother. She now looked tired and worn, and her free spirit I admired so much was gone.

Mom took a deep breath before looking at me with a sad pair of green eyes, "I'm so sorry, Alexandra." she said, her voice cracking at the end. This made s lump form in my throat and my eyes water. My mom would never get emotional, and the fact that she was because of me made things worse.

"Mom, it's fine-"

"Stop it," she snapped, "stop acting like everything's okay when it's not."

"But everything is okay." I insisted.

"Alexandra, I left you for four years without a trace, and you want me to believe you're not mad at me just a bit?"

I responded without thinking, "No, I'm not."

I should've probably thought about it, but I was desperate for my mom to forget and move on. If she was upset about something, that meant it was really hurting her.

"Before I found you that night locked up in the old room, I first saw Trisha crying on the floor. Then I went to get you and call the police. But before they got here, I saw the kitchen and my old art studio... or what was left of it." mom said.

I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. That whole night was a blur, I couldn't even remember how I had gotten home in the first place. But I did remember destroying all my mothers' artwork in a fit of rage. Although it had helped me find the golden locket, I still had ruined some of my moms' most loved paintings.

"I'm really sorry mom, I knew you loved them." I whispered, averting her gaze.

Mom nodded, "I'll forgive you for destroying them, under one condition: you tell me why."

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why'd you do it? Why would you break all my paintings and pottery..."

I gulped, "Because I wasn't feeling well that day."

"That's not why Alex, tell me the truth. Why'd you do it?" mom asked, lifting my chin and forcing me to look at her.

"I don't know." I lied.

"Alexandra," mom said in a warning tone, "you can't lie to me. For once, can't you speak your mind? I can't get inside your head, but I know for a fact that you would never do something like this without reason."

Her piercing gaze was making it hard for me to lie, and it's not that I wanted to lie... I just didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was my mother, I couldn't tell her why. She would feel guilty and things would never be the same between the two of us.

Mom closed her eyes, "Why, Alex?" she whispered.

I took a deep breath and said, "Because you left."

I was looking down, but I knew the my mom's eyes were on me. I didn't want to continue, but I did, "Because you left me, mom. Alone. In the middle of this mess. I was mad at everyone, you, daddy, me, even my friends. I spent the past four years hoping you'd come, but you didn't. And I snapped."

I was hoping I wouldn't need to tell her this, but I knew she wouldn't rest until I did. The truth was, I spent my whole entire life accepting things and trying to make the best of every situation, but that day, I had given up. Mom didn't say anything, and I wondered if she was shocked or hurt.

"But it's alright now," I quickly added, "you came back, and that's all that matters. Now we can focus on trying to repair all the damage."

"Thank God," mom said, "thank God you were mad. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you weren't."

I looked up at her, puzzled, "Wait... you want me to be mad at you? I don't understand."

"Think about it, Alex. I left you for four years without any explanation and suddenly reappear. I felt guilty about it day after day. Imagine if I had came back and you were happy and fine with the fact that I left. I would feel as if I was left off the hook, like I got the easy way out."

"So you want me to give you a hard time?" I asked, confused.

"I wish you wouldn't be so... 'welcoming' with me. I would rather you pelted me with rocks and told me to never speak to you again. I was hoping to have to fight for your love again, but you would never do that, now would you?"

I shook my head, "It's not my job to punish people for their mistakes."

Mom cracked a smile, "I sort of wish it was... But I really am sorry. I don't care how many times you say you forgive me, I know deep inside, there's a small part of you that hasn't and probably never will."

I didn't answer because she was right. No matter how much I loved my mother and was happy she was back... It would never change the fact that she had left me. I would learn to get over it of course; I wouldn't hold it against her. But I'd be lying if I said she hadn't hurt me when she left. Besides, who knows how life would've went if she had stayed. I probably wouldn't have met Ponyboy or Soda and might even be a little girlier.I guess I'll never know.

"Mommy..." a small voice said. I turned my head and saw Thomas emerging from the room, rubbing his right eye as he walked towards us.

"Tommy, come here sweetie." mom said, as he came closer and crept on her knees. Thomas' brown hair was messily over his forehead and stuck out in different directions. Although I had just discovered I wasn't an only child, I already cared deeply about Thomas. He was interesting for a four year old, and he reminded me a lot of my mother. Now there was the question of who his father was, but I didn't feel now was the right time to bring it up.

"Mommy are we painting today?" he asked, giving me a sleepy smile as a greeting.

Mom looked thoughtful for a second, "We're running low on supplies... I'll need to go to a store to pick up some more."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" I exclaimed, "Mom, I have a friend who's interested in learning how to paint. Do you think you can give him a few lessons?"

Mom shook her head, "I don't give lessons Alex, let alone to strangers."

"Johnny's not a stranger. You met him at the hospital, remember?"

"You mean the one with your horse friend?" she asked.

I frowned at her, "His name is Ponyboy mom... But yeah, that's him."

"I don't know Alex. I don't think now's the time to be giving lessons."

"But he's really interested." I responded. I may have been stretching the truth a bit, but considering Dally had been the one to ask me about the lessons made me want to do everything I could to get my mom to agree. I wasn't sure why Johnny wanted to paint, maybe he had a secret talent for painting that I never knew about.

"Hmm, well I have always wanted a pupil. And he did seem like a nice boy... Oh, alright! I guess a few lessons wouldn't hurt."

"Thanks mom, I'll tell him this afternoon-"

"Wait, you're going out today?" mom interrupted.

"Oh, I also forgot to tell you another thing..." I said. Ponyboy had invited me for a 'free day' as he called it. A day to get away from my detective life and make amends with the gang. Plus, this may be my last opportunity before the Michael trial to see the gang. After the trial, things are going to be hectic, and who knows what may happen.

I fidgeted in my skirt as I lifted my hand to knock at the Curtis door. After explaining to mom about going to see Ponyboy later that day, she got all excited and decided to 'help' me get dressed. And by help, I mean pick everything out. Since I hadn't gotten the chance to bring any clothes with me to the motel, I had to share with my moms' clothes which was slightly bigger on me. Because it was my moms' clothes, it was also more feminine which made me look awkward.

The clothes she had picked out were plain, thankfully, but still didn't seem to fit right. She had lent me her brown knee length skirt and a blue blouse; I recognized the skirt as something she wore often when I was little. Mom had also insisted on doing my hair and makeup, but upon realizing my hair was too short to do anything fancy with, she just brushed it. As for the makeup, I talked her out of it.

I was grateful for her help, but now I felt like a little kid playing dress up with my moms' clothes. I knew the gang would laugh at how silly I looked, but it was either this or go in pajamas. At the moment, I regretted not wearing pajamas.

I sighed and knocked at the door softly; my knock was so quiet, I wondered if anyone would hear. I knew the door was already unlocked, but I just felt like it would be better to knock before walking in. I was glad when no one answered the door, that meant I wouldn't have to embarrass myself. I turned around, ready to go back to the motel when I ran into someones chest.

"Oh excuse me," I apologized looking up. The moment I saw the face, I recognized who it was, the only person with rusty colored sideburns.

"Well looks like Miss Alexandra finally decided to show her face again." he joked.

"Yeah, I was just leaving." I said, wanting to escape before he could make any remarks on my clothes.

Two-Bit scratched his head and looked down at me, "Hmm, now that you're dressed like a girl, I don't know why I didn't see it before."

There was an eerie silence after he said that. I guess I was surprised that Two-Bit didn't jump on the occasion to say something about the way I looked. Now that I think about it, Two-Bit and I never had a full conversation while I was Alexander. He would just tease me about the things I did, but now he knew I was a girl, maybe he would stop.

"Too bad you aren't blonde and looked like a guy for the past month." he shrugged opening the door; I guess I spoke too fast about him stopping the teasing.

"You still leavin'?"

I looked at the open door blankly and smiled, "Not anymore."

If there's one thing I learned while being Alexander, it's that being afraid won't benefit you.

I walked into the familiar house, slowly trailing behind Two-Bit. Even though I had been here a few hours ago, it still felt like a lifetime. I had grown to call this place home; it was a safe place for me, a place that I knew I had friends who always helped me. It was a place that had helped me grow and become more than 'Shy Alex'. But it wasn't just the house, it was the people in it.

"Hey Two-Bit, have you seen Al- Alex? I didn't know you were here yet." Ponyboy said, coming out of the kitchen and taking me out of my trance.

My head snapped up at the voice and I smiled at the sight of Ponyboy and Johnny coming out of the kitchen.

"Yeah, I just got here. I literally ran into Two-Bit, so we came in together." I explained, walking closer to them.

"You look different." Ponyboy noted, looking at me in my skirt and blouse. He was used to seeing my in more masculine clothes, so it had to be strange seeing me now.

"Not really, I'm still me." I say, with a small smile.

"I like you better this way." Ponyboy replies, which makes me smile wider, "Well now you're here, we can leave."

I gave him a confused look, "Leave? I thought we were staying here. If I had known we were leaving, I would've brought money..."

Two-Bit snorted, "You didn't think we would stay here, what would we do for fun? Darry, Soda, and Steve are at work and Dally's probably at Bucks."

My hopes of apologizing to Soda fell when I heard that. I've been trying to say sorry for the last two weeks, but he didn't visit me in the hospital so I couldn't see him. I was counting on today to apologize, but since he was working, that was unlikely. Ponyboy must've been able to tell what I was thinking because he then said,

"Later we'll be going to the DX to hang out with Soda and Steve during their break."

I sighed in relief; at least I could get some of this guilt off my chest. "But where are we going if we're not staying here?"

Johnny answered this one, "Ponyboy said you needed a break today, so where do you want to go?"

I bit my lip as I thought of a place I could say. Obviously I wasn't use to hanging out with friends, let alone guys. The closest person I had every had for a friend was this boy in my Algebra II Trig class last year. He never said much, but since we sat at the same table, we had a mutual agreement of silence and comparing answers. Our answers were always right, and since he was the only other freshman in the class everyone else ignored us. I never knew his name, but I remembered he had gray eyes.

"I'm not sure..." I admitted, "I kind of want to go to the library."

No one said anything for a second, and I wondered if I had said the wrong thing. Then Two-Bit burst out laughing and said something along the lines of "It doesn't matter what gender she is, she's still as clueless as ever!". Ponyboy and Johnny stared at Two-Bit as he laughed and my face burned up.

"Wait," Two-Bit said, trying to catch his breath, "tell me you're joking. The library? Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"We could go somewhere else..." I said, looking down in embarrassment.

"Actually," Ponyboy said, "the library doesn't sound too bad. I could use a new book. What do you say Johnny?"

"Sure, I've never been to one, so it might be fun."

With two people on my team, it was decided that we go to the library. Two-Bit looked at all of us before laughing again. I think he couldn't believe we were really going to a library. I didn't understand what was so funny about going to the library, but he was laughing so hard, I was afraid he'd choke.

"Oh yeah, Johnny I have something to tell you." I said as we got ready to leave.

Johnny raised an eyebrow, "What is it Alex?"

We stepped out of the door and into the hot summer heat, "How'd you like some painting lessons?"

oOo

That afternoon had to be one of the most strangest and interesting afternoons in my life. When we got to the library, I felt like a little kid in a candy store. I held no interest for newer books and immediately went for the older ones. Ponyboy seemed to be enjoying the large selection and was suggesting a bunch to Johnny who seemed happier after I told him about the painting lessons. Two-Bit, however, was still hung on the fact that there was even a library. Not to mention he didn't exactly understand the 'quiet' factor. Within ten minutes of entering the library, we were kicked out because Two-Bit insisted on shouting. I will admit, I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to check out any books, but that's what happens once you bring Two-Bit to the library.

Afterwards, Ponyboy, Johnny, and Two-Bit decided to take over and chose for us to go bowling. I had never gone and wasn't too eager about starting now, but agreed to go anyways. The bowling alley was packed with teenagers playing, greasers and Socs alike. Of course they weren't playing on same sides, but at least they weren't fighting.

Ponyboy and Johnny tried to teach me how to bowl, but most of the time, I couldn't get the ball off my fingers or rolling in a straight line. After Two-Bit got bored at laughing at me, he went to a group of greasers and started talking with them.

"Hey Alex, do you want to head to the DX now?" Ponyboy asked me as I watched Johnny get a strike. I was losing badly; I hadn't even made a single strike.

"Uh, do we have to?" I asked, playing with the hem of my moms' skirt.

"Here Alex," Johnny said passing me the ball. I took it and stepped up, looking at the already set up pins to avoid Ponyboys' gaze.

"You can't try to avoid him forever, Alex. I don't understand you sometimes, you're ready to fight against Michael any day, but when it comes to talking to my brother... you can't."

I sighed and pulled my arm back, letting the ball go as I thrust my hand upward, "I'm afraid of what he'll say."

Ponyboy smiled, "So you rather not be friends with him anymore?"

I looked down at the my fingers and didn't say anything. I wanted us to be friends, but I just didn't want to face him. He was the only one who hadn't forgiven me (well, considering most of the gang didn't care). I felt guilty about not telling him, but it seemed like he liked me more as Alexander, unlike Ponyboy, who liked me as Alexandra.

"I think you're right," I whispered, "I can't hide forever... maybe I might be lucky and he won't be mad."

Ponyboy laughed and pointed out to the pins, "I think your luck is already turning up."

I didn't know what he meant, but I turned my head and gasped.

All the pins were knocked down.

oOo

When we got to the DX station, I was surprised to see it was practically deserted. There was only a mother and her young son being checked out By Soda, and Steve was sitting next to him reading a car magazine. Soda flashed the woman a smile as she left and you could tell by her expression, she was in a daze. Sodas' eyes drifted to the door and he smiled when he saw Ponyboy, but it fell when he saw me. It wasn't like he turned angry or upset when he saw me, he just looked taken back. I gave him a weak smile, but deep inside, my heart had dropped and I felt like running out. I took a deep breath and forced myself to keep walking, I wasn't going to back out now.

"Hey Soda," Ponyboy greeted, knowing I wasn't going to start the conversation.

Soda blinked back to reality and smiled at his younger brother, "Hey Pone, whatcha you doin' here?"

I knew when he said 'you', he really meant me.

"I actually need help with something, Steve do you mind coming out and seeing this?" Ponyboy said casually. I looked at Ponyboy oddly, what was he doing? Ponyboy was too preoccupied to notice my confused look and kept staring at Soda. I looked to Johnny for help, but he looked equally as calm. That's when it clicked.

They were trying to get us alone so we could talk. I had been hoping Ponyboy would be there just in case things didn't go as planned, but it looked like Pony had another idea in mind. Two-Bit came up to the counter, sipping a bottle of Coke he probably had just taken. He didn't seem to be following what was going on, but for all I knew, he could be a part of the plan.

"Why?" Steve asked annoyed. Steve shot me an evil glare that made me cringe. I thought we had actually started to get along since our talk in the hospital. I really need to stop assuming things.

"Because it's important, right Two-Bit?" Ponyboy continued.

Two-Bit nodded, "Yeah, the kid's right. You don't want to miss this."

Steve frowned, but got up, "Fine, but make it quick."

Ponyboy flashed me a smile that said 'you can do it' but at the same time it also said 'don't even think about running'. I watched as he, Johnny, and Two-Bit led Steve out the door, leaving me alone with Soda. The moment they were gone, the atmosphere shifted and I could feel the tension. My eyes were still on the door, but I could feel Soda's gaze on me, which made me even more nervous.

I slowly turned my head and met his brown eyes. I gulped and played with my fingers, "Hi Soda,"

Sodapop didn't say anything for a second, but he smiled, "Hi Alex,"

I let go of the breath I didn't know I had been holding in and relaxed a bit. He didn't seem mad, so maybe things might go alright, "How have you been?"

It was a stupid question, I felt like we were acquaintances meeting again after five years. But Soda continued talking, "Shouldn't I be asking you that question, you were in the hospital for nearly two weeks."

I laughed nervously, "Yeah, but I'm fine now."

There was another silence, and I decided now would be the perfect time to apologize. In the hospital I had planned exactly what I would say and how, but at the moment, my mind went blank. I didn't know how to begin. I remembered whenever my mind went blank, it helped if I recited the periodic table: hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen-

"Alex?" Soda said.

"Oxygen! Uh, I mean, yes?" I said, blushing.

Soda gave me a funny look, "Oxygen?"

I shook my head, "Sorry I was thinking about something," I stared at Soda for a moment and sighed, "Soda, I know you might still be mad at me for lying to you and I know... that you may say thar you forgive me, but deep inside, there's a small part of you that hasn't and probably never will." I said, reciting my moms' exact words. I now understood what she meant by not wanting to be let off easy. If Soda said it was alright, I would still always feel guilty, but if he was mad, I'd be happier because I deserved it for lying.

Soda gave me a crooked smile, "Alex, I was never mad at you."

My eyes widened, "What? Of course you were, you left that nigh-"

"I did leave," Soda interrupted, "but only because I was upset that you would tell Ponyboy and Riley about your true identity, but not me. It was like you didn't trust me or something."

"But they both found out, I never meant to tell them." I explained.

Soda shrugged, "I know, but I wish you had told me. If anything, I should be the one apologizing for not understanding your situation. It wasn't like you were hiding your identity to pull a prank on us. You were trying to hide from Michael. Don't worry, Ponyboy explained to me everything. I still can't believe all the things you and Ponyboy did. I know if I was in his place, I wouldn't have gone near Michael."

I smiled sheepishly, "I'm sure you would've... But, do you really forgive me?"

"Like I said Alex, I was never mad." Soda said smiling.

I sighed in relief, feeling a big weight being lifted from my shoulders. I had feared he was still mad at me, and it was nice to know he wasn't. With all amends made, I could concentrate on the upcoming week which would change the way everything once was.

"Hey Alex, are you free tomorrow?" Soda asked suddenly.

I blinked, "I think so... why?"

"Well, I still owe you a trip to the movies." he said, smiling.

I remembered our last trip to the movies. It had been cancelled because Sandy had decided to appear on that day. But because she had came, I had been able to find out why Riley was sick.

"Like a date?" I asked, just like the first time. This time, I didn't blush, though.

Soda laughed, "Now I understand why you said that! But sure, why not?"

"Uh..." I trailed on, I had never been on a date, and so close to the trial. Was now really the right time, "Yeah, it would be fun."

"Cool," Soda said smiling, "I'll see you tomorrow at six?"

I nodded, "Six is good..." For some reason, I wasn't as excited as the first time.

"Well then , I'll see you tomorrow." he said as I waved and started walking out the door. I didn't say goodbye because I didn't feel right. I couldn't describe it, but my mind felt frazzled. Outside the DX station, Steve had an annoyed expression with his arms crossed as Two-Bit blocked his passage back to the DX station.

"They're done talking, can I go back in now?" Steve asked, irritated.

Two-Bit sighed over dramatically, "Only if you say 'Two-Bit is better than me and-"

"Two-Bit!" Steve hissed. Two-Bit laughed, but let Steve pass. As Steve walked next to me, he didn't look at me, his arm only brushed my shoulders. I looked at him as he walked in and frowned at myself. Would he ever like me?

"How'd it go?" Ponyboy said, smiling at me.

I smiled back, "Fine, just like you said." Johnny came up to us and smiled; apparently, everyone was on to the plan but me.

"Well, what now?" I asked.

Ponyboy smirked, "Come over to the house tomorrow morning at seven, I have somewhere I want to take you."

I eyed him suspiciously, "Where exactly is this place?"

"Trust me, you'll want to come." Ponyboy insisted. I looked at Johnny for answers, but he just smiled at me.

I sighed, "Well tomorrow's going to be an interesting day." I said. So I had to be at the Curtis house early in the morning for an unknown reason and later that day, I had a date with Soda. I know I should've been excited for my very first date, but I couldn't because I had just realized something:

Sodapop isn't the one.

I wanted to make this chapter focus on the gang and Alex. Next chapter, I'm bringing back the mystery! Sorry for the delay, hope you enjoyed!

***DO NOT FLAME, CHILDREN. ARSON IS ILLEGAL. ***