Chapter 30: Lonely Girl (Part 2)
Sharpay walked through the empty hallways of East High. She was uncertain of the exact time but she did know that it was late evening; it must have been nearly 9PM. Yet, getting home was the last thing on her mind.
She was in a panic. She cursed the day she had ever been born. Everything was going so wrong lately. She had always thought her life was unfair but compared to the ordeal she was being put through now; she would kill for everything to go back to the way it was on the first day of school.
It had started out so simply. She had just wanted Troy Bolton and yes, she was competitive by nature and she had thought she could kick some Montez butt and once again, show the student body who the real tough-nut, hottie was around East High. However, things had changed so quickly and so dramatically that she barely even had time to make sense of them all.
Somewhere along the line, she changed from being Miss I-See-I-Want-I-Take to seeing something deeper in Troy; he became more then just another possession for her to claim. With all the emotions stirring within her, she was caught completely off-guard by the first time she had been approached by this 'unknown' person. She had willingly submitted to their demands mainly for Troy's sake... because she suddenly cared about him. If it had been her in that position a year ago, she would have told the person trying to bribe her to go get fucked because she really would not have given a damn if Troy's relationship with some girl had been destroyed.
Then the other demands came... and Sharpay just submitted to them because she had given in once and the easiest thing to do had been to just roll over onto her back like a fool and let the person walk all over her.
She hated herself for being weak. She hated herself for feeling. What good had any of it done? Where was Troy for her now? She'd had to push him away and everyone else that came near her just to protect her own stupid past. Why did it have to happen to her?
She stopped by a locker and leaned against it, catching her breath for a moment. She hadn't been running but she was out of breath because of the amount of tension that she had rested on her shoulders. She could swear she was about to have a panic attack. She breathed in deeply and tried to push out the bad thoughts.
She recalled her therapy sessions where the psychologist had taught her a breathing technique that would calm her down. During the months after her rape, Sharpay had been extremely angry... not just at the people around her who were always trying to compensate for something they didn't understand but also at God and at circumstances. Why her? Why? Was she really a bad person... did she deserve it? Was it her comeuppance?
Her psychologist had told her to just breathe and push out the angry thoughts.
Sharpay closed her eyes now and breathed in and ran her hands through the air in front of her face.
"Mah! Mah! Mah!"
With a clearer mind, she walked off down the hallway again.
All afternoon and during the earlier parts of the evening, she had been frantically working on composing a new song that she alone could sing. In the end, she had decided to sing 'You Are The Music In Me', except she had to have the instrumentals pre-recorded as she wasn't allowed any back-up support.
She grimaced at the phrase "wasn't allowed". She was no longer in control of her life and it made her angry to the core. She pushed open the door to the drama hall which was completely dark except for the stage. She was the only one left behind in school except for a mathematics teacher who was marking papers in her office and the school janitor.
Sharpay stood up in the spotlight area of the stage where a single microphone was placed before her on a stand. She sighed.
"So this is loneliness." She breathed into the microphone.
Her words echoed out through the empty drama hall.
A moment later, the pre-recorded backtrack music kicked in and Sharpay got ready to sing.