A/N: Your reviews are just... wow, so amazing. I am not always the best at responding to every review but please know that I do read all of them and they all motivate me to write more and update faster. I have so much planned for this story and I'm just so excited to share it with you!

Also... there's a section in this one that is a bit more adult than what I have written so far. Didn't really plan for this chapter to go where it did, it just happened. I don't think it's too explicit, but the sexual situation is there, so I put a "/XOXO/" at the beginning and end of that part so you know what to skip over if you prefer not to read that sort of thing or are not of an appropriate age to do so. I do intend to keep the T-rating, so anytime I dip my toes into more mature territory, I'll warn you.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

FOUR

When Marcus told me to meet him at a restaurant, I knew he wouldn't dare touch me tonight. Which is exactly what I told Tris this morning, but I know she's still anxious. Not that I mind going over there. I'm just not sure what excuse she will have given Marlene for me showing up at almost 10 pm.

I don't like having to hide my relationship with Tris, and at first I wished Tris didn't want to wait for Uriah to wake up. But now, I keep turning my mother's comments over in my mind. Once we were at home I tried to get more information from Mom but she's like a steel trap. I still don't know anything more about my parents' secrets than I did before. I know what kind of pain Marcus has put me through and I don't want to think about what else he might be capable of, and I hate the idea of him even knowing Tris exists, let alone that she is important to me.

But even if there is another good reason to keep things to ourselves, I still hate it.

I pull into Tris's driveway and kill the engine. Climbing out and swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I stop momentarily to run my fingers over the gashes in the paint of the driver's door. Tris and I won't have the chance to fix it this weekend as I have to spend Saturday night at Marcus's house. I close my eyes and remind myself that I will turn 18 in August. Ten more weekend visits, including this one. I can survive ten more visits. I open my eyes, push the bastard out of my mind, and slip through the narrow path between the house and detached garage.

After quickly knocking at the side door, I let myself into the kitchen. Tris is sitting on the counter with her bare feet dangling, smiling at me. Her hair falls in waves around her shoulders, and she looks so comfortable in her shorts, t-shirt and zip-up hoodie. I could never tire of seeing her just like this, so bright and happy. The contrast to the Tris I knew a few weeks ago has made it clear how lonely she has been living alone in this house.

A few feet away, Marlene scoops rich chocolate ice cream into a bowl. Even with her now living at Tris's I am not used to seeing her like this―pink flannel pajamas and a ratty old t-shirt, no makeup on her face and her hair pulled into a messy ball on top of her head. Mar grins at me and shoots a strange look at Tris.

"Hi, Four," Tris says, hopping off the counter. Her feet hit the floor with a slap.

"Yeah, hi, Four," Marlene sings, drawing out my name. "You know, I have never met such a dedicated math tutor. Late night house calls and all."

I freeze. "Um…" I straighten up. "Yeah, well, Tris said she was having a bit of a crisis," I try to explain, being careful not to make it sound like a question, "and I had to have dinner with my dad tonight so…"

Marlene bursts out laughing and Tris grins at me. Her bare feet pad quietly against the tile floor. "It's fine," Tris tells me, wrapping her arms around my middle. "I told Marlene about us."

Relief floods through me. "You did?"

"Mmhmm," Tris hums, leaning her head against my chest and sighing happily when I hug her back.

I look up and see Marlene adding weird things to her bowl of ice cream. Gummy worms, okay, sure. Canned pineapple seems an odd choice with chocolate ice cream. But… "Did you just put potato chips in your ice cream?" I deadpan.

"Yeah," Marlene grins. She frowns. "We ran out of barbeque, but sour cream & onion should do."

I gape at her. "I know," Tris says, pulling away from me. "It's disgusting."

"I can't help it," Marlene shrugs. "I suppose pickles would make for a better cliche, but baby wants what it wants."

"Baby?!" I choke out.

"Yep," Marlene says.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yep. That's why Tris had to take me in. I told her earlier tonight that she could tell you, but this was much more fun. Keep it secret for now though, okay?"

I'm struck dumb and have no idea what to say, so I just nod at her.

Marlene picks up her very weird ice cream sundae and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge. "I'll be downstairs if anyone needs me," she says. "But I have a feeling that you two can entertain yourselves without my help." She winks and strolls past us, but then she stops at the door and throws over her shoulder, "And don't forget to use protection!"

I look back to Tris and raise my eyebrows.

Tris shrugs. "It's been an eventful evening."

Tris and I sit on her bed facing each other. I am trying to wait patiently but Tris seems at a loss. "I don't know where to start," she finally says.

"Well," I say, "so, Marlene is pregnant."

Tris chuckles. "Yeah, that's old news for me."

"Apparently." My irritation is already audible, but I don't much care.

"Tobias," Tris sighs. "I didn't know she was going to spring it all on you like that. I thought I'd get to explain everything when we were alone. It was her secret, not mine."

"Yeah, that's true," I admit. Tris brings our joined hands to her mouth and kisses my fingers. I roll my eyes playfully because I can't bring myself to admit how much I liked it. "Start at the beginning, I guess."

"And then," Tris tells me, "Zeke asks me what I think of you."

"Me?!" I repeat, my thumb halting where it was tracing circles on her hand. "Why?"

"Because you're a good guy, and we know each other well, and you're single, and I don't know. I wanted to add on that you are also the hottest guy at our school, but I somehow managed to hold my tongue."

I smirk at her. "I am?"

"Of course," she grins. "What, you didn't think I liked you for something less shallow like your personality, or because you're smart or something like that, did you?"

"Of course not. I just thought you wanted the star quarterback. You know, for the status boost."

"Right, the status boost," Tris laughs. "Forgot all about that. Must have overlooked that when we decided to keep this to ourselves for now."

Just when I was seeing some silver lining to the whole secrecy thing, it looks like we may soon be able to reveal the truth about our relationship. Even with my worry about Marcus, I feel hopeful. "So, Uriah might be waking up soon, and Zeke already approves. This is good, right?" I won't mention that Zeke probably just wants me to get laid. Then again, it's not like Tris would be some one-night-stand. Maybe my lack of experience is what makes him trust me with Tris. I know how much he cares for her. His reaction to Al's lies made it obvious enough. I still haven't told Tris about that and I don't think Zeke has either. I probably should… but it would only upset her and I can deal with it myself if the coward ever shows back up at school.

"Definitely good." Tris leans forward with her weight on her good arm, and I draw closer to meet her lips with mine. All too soon, she pulls back and returns to her previous position. I run a hand through my hair as I force my mind back to the conversation we were having.

"So, how did all that lead to Marlene knowing about us?"

Tris chews on her lower lip. I know it's a sort of nervous habit and now isn't the time, but damn if it doesn't make me want to be the one to bite it. I reach out and run my thumb across it to make her release it, and she lightly kisses my finger as I do.

"I haven't told anyone this…" She takes a deep breath. "So, that night… the accident… you know how I told you that Uriah came over because he wanted to tell me that he was interested in someone?"

"Yeah," I say, remembering her talking to me about that one day when we went to her spot by the river instead of studying. "That was part of why you wanted to tell Uriah about us before anyone else."

Tris nods. "Well, he said more than that. He told me that he slept with someone."

I search her eyes for jealousy or anger, but if she felt that way at first, she doesn't now, and I am relieved.

"I had obviously known for a while that Marlene was pregnant," she continues, "but…"

Wait… Uriah slept with someone before the accident, which was more than a month ago… Marlene is six weeks pregnant… and Marlene told me a while ago that she liked a guy who already had a girlfriend…

"The baby is Uriah's," I realize aloud.

"Wow," Tris chuckles sardonically, "you worked that out quick. I feel like an idiot."

"Don't," I reassure her. "I might have had a little more information than you did." Seeing her questioning look, I add, "Zeke and Shauna tried to set Marlene and me up on a date a while ago, when you and Uriah were still together. She may have admitted that she liked a guy who had a girlfriend. Plus, the context of this conversation gave me some clues."

"Still," Tris sighs. "Anyway, when we got home, I don't know. I guess having some sign that Uriah might wake up soon, that it might be time for her to tell him soon… when we got home, Marlene confessed to me that it was Uriah's baby."

Even though I decided earlier that Tris didn't look angry or jealous, I feel a uneasy weight in my stomach. "So… how do you feel about that?"

"It reminded me of something that happened in the past, at first. I felt betrayed. But only for a minute, because it was my choice to end things with Uriah. Nothing happened till after we had broken up, and honestly, it didn't take me too much longer to move on, did it?"

"I suppose not." I'm watching her carefully, I want to ask her more, especially about that comment about the past. But she's telling me things she hasn't told anyone else. She told me the other night, when she caught me kissing Lauren at that party, that she trusted me and she is proving it to me once again.

"Anyway, I dunno, she was so worried that I would hate her. I don't know if I just wanted to show her that we were still friends, or if I was just tired of hiding even in my own home, but it felt right to repay her for her honesty, with a secret of my own. Well, our own. And she was totally happy for us. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't mind," I grin, scooting closer to her. "I mean, I would rather decide together before we tell everyone else, but I have to say… I am glad we don't have to worry anymore if she catches us doing this…"

I lean in and slide my nose along hers. The moment our lips meet I forget about everything else but me, and her, and the way her soft lips feel against mine. My left hand reaches around her back to pull her closer and her hand fists my t-shirt as I lower her back onto the bed, my right hand pressed to the mattress for support. Tris pulls me down with her by her grip to my shirt and I hover over her, now propped only by my elbow and only so that I don't crush her small body under my weight.

My lips leave hers only to kiss along her jaw, up to her ear, down her neck. Everywhere her fingers touch, my skin warms and tingles. Her hands move over my back and there is no one else I would trust to touch me there. I want her, in a way I haven't felt for anyone before. Not just some kind of mindless physical drive but a real, specific desire. Not for "someone," just for her. I wonder, not for the first time but more consciously and clearly than ever before, if this is what falling in love feels like.

/XOXO/

Her hands glide feather-light over the scabbed stripes that litter my back with a healing warmth, her touch becoming firmer as she brings her hands around my sides. As my hand drifts down her stomach and dips just barely below the waist of her jeans, hers slide up my chest, lifting the hem of my t-shirt and she pushes her palm against me. Fuck… too much? I must have been moving too fast, she must think I'm a dick. I sit up and look away from her, breathing heavily.

"Tris, I―" I start to apologize but she hasn't taken her hand off me and the next thing I know, I am feeling the air cool my skin and hearing the soft sound of my t-shirt hitting the floor.

She looks at me and bites her lip, and suddenly my hands are moving faster than my brain can process and I'm practically ripping her shirt off of her. But the sleeve gets stuck on the cast on her arm and by the time we get it unstuck we are both laughing, and she's pulling me back down on the bed with her. I rest my forehead against her shoulder while my hand explores her bare skin with a mind of its own. Then we're kissing again, no holds barred, and when my fingers end up at her back, fidgeting with her bra clasp, she arches her back to allow my fingers room to undo the clasp. And thankfully that's something I have done before ― not with Tris, but I'm not completely clueless ― so I manage to get the thing off of her without making a total fool of myself.

Propping myself on my right elbow, I pull back just to look at her. She is just so fucking beautiful, I think I stop breathing. With my palm flat against her flat stomach I run my hand slowly up until I am cupping her breasts, experimenting with her body's reactions, listening to her soft little gasps and feeling more than a little cocky (no pun intended) at the response I can elicit from her until I just can't take it any more and crash my lips against hers again.

I'm hard, so painfully hard and straining against my jeans and I need some sort of relief. I press myself into her leg and grind against her. I know she can feel me and I'm about to ask her if this is okay but words are not needed because she's already unbuttoning my jeans, then she's the one asking if it's okay and I just nod and then her soft, petite hand is wrapped around me and I can't think about anything but Tris, Tris, Tris and how fucking good, no, unbelievably fucking incredible she is making me feel and how I want to make her feel just as amazing.

I fumble with the button of her jeans, you'd think it would be easier than the bra clasp but I'm significantly more distracted right now. But I get it open… only to be rendered useless with how the pleasure is building to heights never achieved by myself, or anyone else, before. All the while her lips never leave my skin, concentrating especially on this extra sensitive spot near my collarbone that I had no idea about before just now.

Tris covers me with her hand to contain the mess and keeps stroking until she's sure I am spent. I flop back on the pillows, panting, while she plucks a tissue from a box on her nightstand and cleans her hand up. I feel… incomplete… until her skin is once again pressed against mine and her ear is against my chest, listening to the beat of my racing heart.

/XOXO/

"That wasn't fair," I whine. "I wanted to get you off too."

I feel Tris smile. "Next time. But trust me, I enjoyed that as much as you did," she says.

"I am 100% certain that is not true."

"Okay," Tris laughs, "you're right, I probably didn't enjoy it as much as you did." Tris shivers, and we're still topless but grabbing her shirt is just about the last thing I want to do. Instead, I make her sit up for a moment so I can grab the throw blanket from the end of the bed.

Tris stops me and runs her finger over that spot near my collarbone that makes me shiver. "Oops," she says sheepishly, "I'm gonna be sad that I don't get to publicly take credit for that mark tomorrow. Think it'll get girls like Lauren to back off anyway?"

I crane my head at an odd angle but find that I'll have to check it out in a mirror later, because I can't see it. "Do you think there's really anything that can deter a girl like Lauren?"

"No, not really," she scowls. And it makes me kinda relieved to see that reaction from her. While on one hand I have been relieved that she trusts me and didn't start a jealous cat fight when she caught Lauren practically assaulting me, another part of me wants to know why she isn't jealous. Because when I heard that rumor that she made out with Al, I wanted to rip his head off.

We get back into snuggling position, dragging the blanket over us. Tris's contented sigh is one of the best sounds in the world. "How was dinner with... Marcus?" she asks, wariness creeping into her voice.

"Fine, I guess," I say. "Lots of instructions and warnings about Friday's game. I told you he wouldn't hurt me tonight and he didn't."

"What does he get out of it?" she asks.

It's an odd question, and I don't understand. "Out of what?"

"Why is it so important to him that you do well in football?"

"I don't know. He's the same way with school, I have to keep a perfect four-point GPA. He just doesn't want people thinking his kid's a loser, I guess." Tris tenses at that. Shit, fuck, damnit! "Tris… I'm not saying―"

"I know," she interrupts in a tight voice. "I know you don't think... "

"And you're doing so well now, too."

"Certainly won't have a four-point-oh. It's… whatever. It's just… my dad… you know?" Her voice is muffled, due to the fact her face is buried in my chest.

"Yeah," I practically whisper. "Tris, look at me," I command. She starts to lift her face from me but can't seem to bring herself to actually look up at me. "Let me see those beautiful eyes, Tris," I coax, this time gently tipping her chin up with my hand.

Her eyes are glassy, shining with tears. I sigh. "Tris, you are amazing because of who you are. I don't give a damn whether you are the head of the cheer squad or a band geek, valedictorian or a drop-out ― although, please don't drop out of school, that would be an unwise choice." She laughs at that and I smile. "Just… don't listen to anyone who doesn't love you for what's in here," I press my fingertips gently just above her left breast, "because the other shit just doesn't matter and anyone who doesn't realize that isn't worth your time."

"Okay," she says simply.

"Okay?" I repeat, that seemed too easy.

"Okay," she says again. "So long as you follow your own advice."

She sees right through me. Because she gets it ― the need to earn our fathers' love, no matter how fucked up the whole concept of that is, no matter if they abandon us completely or hurt us in body, mind and soul. But I won't be a hypocrite.

"Okay," I say.

"Good."

I let Tris drift off in my arms, thinking that yeah, this is what falling in love feels like.