[Next day]
"Are you even close to done? I'm bored out here," Alex yelled towards the closed bathroom door, lying on the bed and switching through the TV channels the hotel provided.
"Just give me a minute," Jo yelled back, turning on a blow dryer. Alex sighed and rolled his eyes. As much as he understood where her fidgeting was coming from, by now he was getting tired of waiting for her. When the sounds of the blow dryer died down, he could hear her drop something on the floor and curse, rushing out of the bathroom the second after. Alex had to do a double take on his wife. Whoa, she was hot. When Jo nervously packed her purse and looked around for randomly strayed things, she noticed his googly eyes in passing.
"What?" she barked at him. He smirked at her.
"You are hot," he stressed the last part. She rolled her eyes at him, finishing up her packing.
"You ready to go?" she asked him, realizing there was nothing left for her to do to postpone leaving the hotel room. Jo stood next to the door, looking at Alex a little flustered. She was pale, like she had been since the start of the pregnancy, but her cheeks were lightly rose colored probably due to nerves. Her hair looked perfect, like it always did and Alex couldn't by the life of him understand how she managed to do that with all that hair she had. A few strands in the front were disheveled like a wind breeze had just hit her. She was wearing a long, airy summer dress in all black that reached way down to her ankles and was belted underneath her boobs with golden brown leather. She was wearing sandals on her feet and a tight light-colored denim jacket to cover her shoulders. If he hadn't seen her every day of their lives together, he would have thought she had walked straight out of a catalog. His wife was so hot. Alex who was still lying flat on the bed tried to not drool all over her. He got up, switching off the TV and walking over towards her.
"I didn't know this was a dressy thing," he told her, looking down at his jeans and button up shirt.
"It's not," she told him in irritation, walking out of the room.
"Well, you look kind of dressy," he pointed out, following her to the elevators.
"No, I don't. This is completely undressy. I bought it last year at that crazy awesome Swiss department store when we went to Zurich. It was their summer collection. It's not dressy," she told him, stressing the last part. He smiled at her when they both leaned against the elevator walls opposite of each other.
"You're still hot," Alex replied matter-of-factly.
"You say that with everything I wear," Jo pointed out for him now.
"True," he mused, grinning. She smiled back slightly. They rode down silently.
"You can't make out I'm pregnant underneath the airily, black fabric," Jo admitted when the doors dinged open. Alex nodded, understanding where her thoughts were coming from. He took her hand and squeezed it, strolling out of the elevators.
"She can't take anything away from you, Jo. You don't have to tell her anything about you. And she won't gather anything with just looking at you," he told her quietly, knowing she didn't want to say it out loud, let alone let anyone hear it. Alex knew she had heard him but was fine with the fact that she was ignoring it. They walked out of the lobby onto the sidewalk and Jo directed him through the streets towards their destination. "Where are you meeting her?"
"Just up the street. I told her to wait for me by the ducklings in the public gardens at noon," Jo responded soberly.
"It's only 11.30, you know," he told her, acknowledging the information.
"I know," she said. "I wanted to have some time," she admitted. He nodded. When they waited for the lights to turn, he tugged at her arm, making her look at him.
"Did she text you back?" Alex looked at her eyes deeply. She nodded. "So, she's coming?" Jo sighed.
"Well, apparently she is," she told him, pulling him across the street and strolling upwards, entering the park. It was a really nice Sunday morning and lots of families, kids, joggers and church goers where strolling in the park and by the pond. They walked around the waters and Alex could feel how Jo was growing slower and slower, gripping onto his hand tightly. They were nearing the golden ducklings but he couldn't make out any isolated person looking out for someone else. It was still early, though. He startled when Jo stopped abruptly.
"Are you okay?" he turned around instantly, looking at her in horror. Jo frowned at him.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she chuckled with a questioning look. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh," he answered sheepishly. "I don't know. I was spacing out, I kind of thought you stopped because you weren't feeling well," he said. Jo smiled at him, shaking her head. She turned around to face the pond, watching the on goings on the opposite bank. Alex let go of her hand and walked up behind her, embracing her, putting his head on her shoulder and looking straight ahead, watching the same thing she was.
"You know," she said after a while. "When I was little…," she started, making him smile.
"You used to dream that your dad would materialize and take you here to feed the ducks," he finished for her. "I know the story, Jo," he smiled. She looked back at him in surprise.
"You remember that?"
"Of course I remember that. What kind of stupid ass husband do you think I am?" Alex chuckled at her.
"No, stop it, you know I didn't mean it that way," she told him, smiling. "I love that you remember that," she said. "I'm not even sure when or why I told you that," she mused.
"You tried to make a point about having a dad when mine was strapped to a hospital bed on cold turkey," he recalled for her.
"Yeah, that's right," Jo said, chuckling. Alex bent down to kiss her shoulder, Jo playing with his fingers that were entwined with hers on top of her tummy. They succumbed to silence while still watching the on goings. Alex could feel a shiver running through Jo and held her to him a little tighter.
"It's going to be okay," he whispered into her ear, even though he knew that wasn't making things easier. But he sure knew she just needed to hear his soothing voice at the moment. "Don't worry, just relax, you'll be just fine. Remember, you are only going to ask her what you wanna know… you don't have to answer any of her questions. You don't have to let her upset you… it's not family you're looking for, it's answers," he said, Jo making very tiny head movements in agreement. She closed her eyes and breathed out heavily, focusing on Alex's arms around her and his low soothing voice.
"Is she there yet?" she asked, eyes still closed. Alex pulled his head around to study the general area.
"Um," he hesitated, trying to identify every person within the surroundings. "Doesn't seem like it. But you know, she could be anyone… and also, she could be anywhere," he tried to console her. She nodded again.
"What time is it?" Jo asked again. Alex looked down at his watch.
"It's 5 till," he replied dutifully.
"Alright," Jo decided after a minute, turning around in his embrace. "Let's go," she said, kissing him softly. "I'm sure as hell not going to be the one approaching her. The ball is in her court," she said. Alex nodded, looking at her deeply.
"You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Jo smiled back at him, initiating a slightly longer kiss. "I have you by my side," she said, running her fingers through his hair. Alex hiked his eyebrows.
"Do you want me to actually come with to talk to her?" Jo looked taken aback by his question.
"Yes," she nodded heavily. "Yes, of course," she said. "I can't do this without you," she panicked a little.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, I'll come, I just…. I wasn't aware that you'd want that," he replied sheepishly.
"Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry I'm pulling you into all of this… I really am. But right now, I really don't feel like I can do this without you. I just need you to be there with me, alright? You don't have to say anything. Anything at all. I just… I need to know that there's someone I can count on," Jo rambled quickly, her pulse accelerating already.
"Always," he told her, his eyes not letting go of hers. "You can always count on me," Alex repeated, before matching their lips together and trying to tell her even more within that kiss. When he pulled back, Jo took a deep breath and nodded.
"Okay," she said. "I'm ready."
They walked the little path up towards the ducklings, both searching the area without talking much. Alex had no idea who to look out for. He was definitely on look out for a woman. And she had to be at least… in her… late forties, minimum… but other than that… he didn't know anything about that woman. Worse even, Jo didn't either. His glance grazed over all park visitors, getting caught on every female person, letting his filter run over her and deciding if she was a suitable candidate. How would she seem? Nervous? Indifferent? Concealed, maybe? Young? Old? Regretful? Was she going to be alone or was she going to bring someone herself? When they had reached the height of the ducklings, Jo pulled him over towards the next bench and sat herself. She took off her jacket, slinging it over her purse and leaning back on the arm Alex had put out and crossing her legs. Alex knew from another angle nobody would be able to make it out through her dark sun glasses but he could see her eyes searching about restlessly from the side. They sat for a while before a rather young woman, maybe around fifty, materialized from the other side of the bushes, walking towards the golden duckling statues a little fidgety, looking around for what seemed… another person. Alex felt how Jo stiffened beside him and he unceremoniously grabbed her hand to squeeze it.
The woman who was still looking for who- or whatever was standing about fifty feet away, her back towards them but they both knew she was who they were expecting to meet. She was slim, and she was wearing tight navy blue jeans and a short sleeved pink and white shirt, clutching a purse underneath her armpit. Her hair was long and wavy, a little darker than Jo's. Alex didn't know why but the unfamiliar woman's demeanor gave her away immediately. At that moment, the woman had turned towards the pond, raised her sunglasses from her eyes a couple of inches and squinted her eyes at the people, slowly turning in a circle. Jo had let go of Alex's hand and uncrossed her feet, supporting herself with both arms on the bench, leaning forward a bit and tangling her feet. She looked at the person straightforwardly. The lady was still slowly turning towards them and froze as soon as she laid eyes on Jo. It took her a minute to unfreeze; meanwhile Jo had let her head hang lazily and watched her own feet tangle to the ground, waiting for the woman to approach her. Alex kept watching her. It took a minute but then she lowered her sunglasses altogether and looked like she was taking a deep breath and started walking towards them. Alex could feel a big lump rising in his throat, apprehensive of what was going to happen. The first thing that came to mind when the lady was only feet away was shielding Jo from her. Emotionally. But also physically.
Since Jo was still looking down at her feet, the woman locked eyes with Alex, looking at him questioningly. Alex would have laughed if it hadn't been that serious. He knew how tense that person had to be in her situation but if they really weren't who she was looking for, Alex or Jo would have certainly already told her to get lost. So, he tried to not laugh at her questioning look.
"Josephine?" the woman jerked out when she was in talking distance, her voice trembling. Alex could feel Jo sigh before she looked up at the woman, who was hovering at a safe distance to just apologize and get lost if this wasn't who she was here for. He startled when Jo got up and stared at the woman for a second. After a short moment, she stretched out her hand towards the woman, anticipating a greeting.
"Hi," she said, clearly having put on a mask. Alex got up as well. "My name's Jo Wilson," she said, matter-of-factly. The woman looked at her in wonder. She shook her head slightly as if to keep her from spacing out and shook Jo's hand.
"Hi," she replied. "I'm Samantha," she hesitated. "Samantha Wilson," she stated heavy-heartedly. Jo looked taken aback. She didn't know what to say for a second, both staring at each other warily.
"Um," Jo said, grabbing Alex's shirt nervously, pointing over at him, "this is Alex," she introduced him. Alex smiled slightly, offering his hand to Samantha who shook it slowly, glancing at him quickly, giving him a smile, before staring back at Jo. "He's my… he's Alex," Jo stumbled out, thinking about how Alex had assured her that she didn't have to give anything away if she didn't want to.
"Okay," Samantha voiced quizzically, not wanting to push it either.
"He's my husband, actually," Jo finally said, deciding that there wasn't any scenario she could imagine in which she wanted to hide who Alex was to her, the other woman nodding appreciatively. The air between all of them was tense and Alex could feel how both women were thinking along the same lines. What were they going to talk about? Who was going to initiate talking first? How were they going to part? Alex felt a little needless. "Let's walk up this way," Jo decided suddenly, pointing towards Boston Common, startling him. Samantha nodded immediately and they moved.
"So, how did you get my number?" Jo asked straight-forwardly, still keeping her mask in place.
"Your teacher, Mrs. Schmitt, gave it to me," the other woman told her.
"How did you find Mrs. Schmitt? How did you know this was the high school I had gone to?" Jo looked at the older woman sharply, not intending to let her off the hook. Samantha tucked in a sharp breath.
"I have this picture of you from when you were little. Like only a couple of days old. I left town after… you know… but I came back years later and I… started looking for you. All over. Of course, I couldn't go to the fire station to claim you back, I mean what I did was illegal… at least at that time," she rambled, Jo following her narrations with an unimpressed look plastered on her face. "Well, so I started looking for you… I would go and watch the kids at the school parks… to try to make out which one you could have been… with only that one picture tucked into my wallet. I never really found a girl that I thought might actually turn out to be you. Until that one time, years later. I really only still went to schools to watch because it had grown to be a habit of my life," she explained.
"You know for all you know they could have introduced all those kidnapping laws of Massachusetts because they were thinking you're a crazy stalker," Jo interrupted her. Samantha chuckled slightly about her… about Jo's sarcasm.
"Anyways, I was on my way to work one day and I saw you drive by… you must have been… well 16 or 17 I guess. Around the same age that I was when I had you. You looked just like me. I didn't know if it was true or anything else… I didn't have proof of course. For all I knew you could have been adopted into a family in Hawaii. But I saw you that one time and I knew … I knew it was you," Samantha told her, her voice laced with something that sounded like hope.
"Well, don't pride yourself with mother's intuition, as we can see it's not like anybody could miss it. We look alike," Jo stated, looking at Samantha's face, studying her features, seeing so much of herself in that face. It was so unfair. There were people, families, families that were more family than any other freaking family that really deserved to have kids looking like them. Families that would boast about having kids that look just like them. Families that would grow closer together just because of that. And then she knew so many families in which none of the kids had any similar features to their parents', not even talking about all the adoptive or patchwork families she knew, but their biological kids and she really wished she could give that to them. But no, her mother it seemed who had abandoned her when she was a week old, who had left her to the hounds, that mother had apparently needed to hand her looks down to Jo. Of course, she would have hit that jackpot.
"I know that, trust me. So I followed you and you parked behind that school. All the time," she said. "I… I didn't know what to do, I really didn't. When I started this whole… initiative of trying to find out who you were…well, it started way back… you must have been… 11 or something. I had this short streak of… what if… what if I had never given you up, you know? I just… I really wanted and needed to make amends… but once I finally found you, years later, I… I couldn't. I wasn't ready to be a mother. Just like on the day you were born. I just… I wasn't ready. So I never approached you. But then, a couple of years ago… I… well, your grandmother died," she explained. "And it was always her wish for me to just… to make contact with you," she said. "So I did. And your old school really was the only lead I had," she finished.
"So you're here to stem your guilt towards your own mother," Jo concluded after hearing out the person saying she was her mother. Samantha looked at Jo bewildered. She had tried to imagine for years what it was going to be like when she finally met the person who she had once had the chance to claim as her daughter. She had tried to imagine what kind of life she would have and what she would look like. Jo hadn't let her have a lot of information yet, but she seemed self-confident and settled, and even though she seemed angry at the moment, she looked like she was happy with her life. And she was beautiful. Even more beautiful than herself, and she knew that's the only thing everybody had always told her. Don't let your beauty get in the way of your life. But she had let that slip. She had let herself be seduced…by several men, and then she had gone down a wild slide… Samantha shook her head to clear her thoughts. Anyways, she was taken aback by how cruel a person that looked so unbelievably content could be.
"I guess I deserve that," Samantha replied, looking up at Jo apologetically. Jo held their gaze, not wanting to be the one who broke under the pressure. Samantha bit her lip nervously, fidgeting with her hands and eventually glancing down to her feet. They had stopped at a little creek by the frog pond, the three of them standing awkwardly beside each other. Jo sighed, turning back, facing Alex and matching their eyes. She looked exhausted. She didn't look nervous anymore or all too agitated. She just looked exhausted. Like... she was trying to listen and understand but she just couldn't because she just wasn't the person to even hypothetically grasp the concept of leaving their own kid behind. Alex looked back at her eyes steadily, trying to give her as much space as she needed, trying to not give her too many emotions with his look, so she wouldn't feel pushed into a direction. She smiled at him slightly before turning around and leaning onto his broad frame, his hands immediately snapping up to rub her arms up and down, while she stared at Samantha directly.
"I really am sorry, Josephine," Samantha tried to voice.
"Don't call me that," Jo snapped back immediately.
"Okay," Samantha looked taken aback.
"What she means is, you should call her Jo," Alex chimed in for he knew Samantha was going to run again after a moment or two if Jo kept biting her head off every chance she got and he couldn't deal with an angry pregnant Jo who would be even more miserable because her mother would have left her twice. As much as she tried to deny it, he knew exactly what she was thinking. Samantha nodded gratefully before Alex bent down and kissed Jo's neck softly, telling her he wasn't playing against her. Jo sighed.
"Why?" Jo questioned out of thin air. Samantha looked up at her, uncertainty mirroring off her face.
"I… I was so young," Samantha tried to explain.
"That's not a reason to leave a baby at the fire station," Jo came back.
"I didn't have any support," she went on.
"That's not a reason to leave a baby at the fire station," Jo repeated. "Oh, and I doubt that if you had a mother who wanted you to be in touch with your daughter," she added, surprising Alex since this was the first time she had actively labeled the relationship between her and Samantha as what it was but he knew that Jo hadn't realized it herself. Samantha had though, he could see it in her eyes.
"I didn't have a baby daddy to turn to," she tried.
"Well, really, you're trying to score sympathy points with that? Not knowing who my dad is? That's… that's awesome," Jo chuckled. "Oh, and still no reason to leave a baby at the fire station," she added, Alex rolling his eyes.
"I would have been a terrible mother, Jo," Samantha begged with her now. "If I hadn't given you up, I would have probably brought you up in some drug junkie's dirt hole. Or maybe let you sleep in the car while I was doing shifts at the Shake Shack, like I did it the first week," she pleaded. "I was a terrible, terrible person back then. I had no idea what to do with a baby. I had no idea how much responsibility a baby meant to my life. I had no fucking idea, Jo. I was sixteen. Look, I know it's bad, I know, it's terrible. I know what it must look like to you," Samantha took a step closer to make her see. "But I think I did you a favor, not taking you on the joyride that's been my life until now," she said. Jo chuckled, evil glittering in her eyes.
"That is no reason to leave a baby at the fire station," Jo just repeated, finally making Samantha lose her cool.
"You were crying all the time," Samantha yelled, making some people around them startle. "You were crying when you were hungry, and when I had fed you, you had a messy diaper, if that wasn't the case you were hot or cold or it was too loud or you just… I don't know… you just cried, all the time. You never let me have an hour of sleep. I slowly realized babies were only really cute when their memory was cherished on a picture. I was so tired. And I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back to my parents… I just wouldn't. And I couldn't handle you myself. Look, Jo, I understand why you are angry with me… but can you please at least try to see why I did it?"
Jo looked at her with wide eyes and a forming smirk on her face. She really couldn't believe how bold that woman was. And then she couldn't believe that she had still not gotten the point Jo was trying to make.
"Okay, I'm going to say it one last time: that's still not a reason to leave a baby at the fire station," Jo stressed every word, her mother looking at her like she was scared that Jo was going crazy.
"She's saying you could have opted for ten different solutions that would have provided Jo at least a little bit of comfort during her childhood instead of leaving her at the steps of a fire station with only her name and birth date and whatnot," Alex clarified for Samantha, even though he could hear Jo sigh in his arms for him being too 'kind' towards her. Samantha looked at him questioningly.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you could have given me up for adoption, you could have let your parents raise me, you could have left me at the hospital with the nurses, for all I know you could have given me to a church and they would have raised me," Jo ranted.
"Wait, I thought I did that. With leaving you at the fire station… I thought I did give you up for adoption," she questioned her.
"Well, sadly, it's not that easy. It was a crime you did, at least back then. There weren't any baby safe haven laws out there to protect you or me. You abandoned your child, do you get that? I was lying on the steps out in the cold for hours before somebody found me. They took me to the hospital and I came to live with a foster family for a while but with all the investigations that were going on for trying to find out if I was a kidnapped baby or an abandoned baby, and most of all by whom, I never stayed long in one of those homes. Also, as you said correctly, I was a fussy baby and people who are not a baby's parent usually tend to not want to deal with a fussy baby that isn't theirs. So yeah, mother, when you abandoned me back in 1987, you made my life pretty complicated," Jo barked at Samantha who looked like somebody had just given her a blow to the stomach.
"Are you saying you have never been adopted? You never had a family?"
"Bingo," Jo sighed, looking down at her feet. Alex knew Jo was mad beyond belief but also fighting desperately with her pregnancy hormones that would have actually made her cry twenty minutes ago and Alex was impressed of how long she had endured it just to not let Samantha see the pain she was going through.
"That's… that is… I mean… can that even happen?" Samantha stumbled out.
"Apparently, yes," Jo gave back to her. They watched each other in silence for a while.
"I'm so, so sorry, Jo," Samantha voiced, genuinely seeming to hurt. Jo kept quiet, staring at her. "But just look what you've become," Samantha started gushing, not able to keep it in anymore, pointing a finger at them. "You look so well," she said. "You look so much better than I ever did in all my life," she admitted. "You're all grown up and you seem so well and you have a handsome husband who supports you and from what you're wearing you must do very well in your job and… you just… you're practically glowing," Samantha rambled. "You really look like a lot of people could envy you for your life," she finished, giving Jo a pleading look.
"First of all, you don't know that. You just made that all up… You have no idea who I am or what I do for a living. Second of all, you have nothing, nothing whatsoever, to do with who I grew up to be. I had other people care for me. Not many, but I did. There was Mrs. Schmitt who got me through high school and then there was Megan Brailer who would kick me through college. Cause even though I eventually graduated on top of my class, sometimes I just felt like there was nothing and nobody whatsoever that would benefit from what I was doing. I was wrong of course, I benefitted from it. But it took me years, decades, to realize that I'm not living for somebody else, I'm not leading this life for a mother or a father I never had or any other person than me. I'm doing this for me. And it's perfect. And then I met Alex and he's been my family ever since. I don't need you. I don't need anyone else, I have my family right here," Jo rushed out, holding Alex's arms a little bit tighter. "I don't care if you feel guilty or ashamed or rueful. I don't need you. And my life has nothing to do with how you did or did not raise me. It's true, I would have probably turned out differently if you had raised me, however that would have gone. But I'm not gonna have you say that I was better off without anyone to love me. Do you know what it's like? What it's like to have nobody love you? Nobody care about you? Nobody even claim you?" Jo begged her now, and Alex could feel how she started shivering from inside and tears started running down her cheeks. She stared at Samantha for a moment, trying to get an answer from her, but said one was too hurt to say anything. After a moment, Jo shook her head and turned it over towards the frog pond, wiping the tears away madly, Alex seeing the irritation on her face for succumbing to tears. He bent down to kiss her head, making her eyes close for a minute. When she opened them up again, Samantha was trying to form a sentence.
"I do know what you do for a living," she said.
"How?"
"I googled you," she replied.
"You googled me?" Jo answered quizzically and Alex could hear that if it wasn't Samantha standing opposite Jo she would have chuckled due to the ridiculousness of the situation.
"Yes. You are a trauma surgeon in Seattle. You work with a person called April something. You are very successful they say even though you are so young and just finished your training," Samantha recited everything she could remember from the article she had bookmarked on her laptop at home. Jo looked at her in surprise.
"I didn't know you could find a medical article as an amateur. I thought they were exclusive to people accessing a medical database," she mused.
"You've been published in more journals than the Annals of Surgery. Also, Mariah definitely put you and Kepner on the GSMH website when you got published. If you google your name I bet that'll come up first thing," Alex pointed out for her quietly.
"Kepner, that's the name," Samantha nodded, looking deeply in thought, Jo frowning at her.
"Why do you wanna know things about me now?"
"You're my daughter, Jo. I can't help but be curious," Samantha smiled at her cautiously.
"Yeah, but I'm not. I'm not your daughter. I won't ever be your daughter. You gave up that right when you put me on that freaking ice cold doorstep 31 years back," Jo told her.
"You think about me, right? Sometimes, at least? You think about me? I mean, I made you cry a couple of minutes ago. You can't not be affected by this just as much as I can't pretend like I'm not shaken by all of what's going on… right?" Samantha begged with her again.
"You didn't make me cry, my hormones made me cry," Jo cut her sharply, immediately regretting what she had given away with that statement, turning her face to look over the water, taking a deep breath.
"You're pregnant?" Samantha's eyes grew wide and suddenly Alex could see regret and anger and helplessness and desperation wash over her. "Oh, Jo," she said, trying to match their eyes. "Is that why you've finally decided you wanna meet with me? Because you wanna not make the same mistakes?" Jo looked up at Samantha, who had momentarily taken her ready wit away. The older one smiled at her. "It's okay. I don't claim to know you or anything. I just… it's natural to wanna know things about your own past when you're creating the future," she told her, trying to mend fences.
"Well, you did help me with this," Jo told her matter-of-factly, having gotten her angry voice back. "I know now that I will never ever be able to leave my kids for whatever reason," she said, clutching her belly. Samantha looked at her with a sad smile.
"You have no idea how much I wish I could say the same thing for myself," she confessed. Jo looked at her, pondering. From the side, Alex could see how her chin and the crease on her forehead trembled slightly with unshed tears and how she bit down on her lips, almost making herself bleed.
"Yeah, don't we all," she said after a minute, trying to catch herself.
"I feel like there's so much I wanna tell you," Samantha said after a while.
"Don't," Jo advised her sharply. They stood quietly, nobody knowing what to say anymore.
"So, Wilson is your married name?" Samantha tried to find out about the weird circumstances.
"No," Jo shook her head with a frown. "Didn't you write it down for them when you left me?"
"I did," she said, nervously.
"You know how stupid that is, right? With having done something illegal and all?"
"I didn't really think back then. And I left the state right after. I just… I couldn't leave you with just that. I… felt like you needed to have a name. And… when I tried to decide what to give away about you… I was actually hoping for somebody to make a connection to my hospital stay… when I gave birth to you… and bring the baby back to my parents or something. I only realized a lot later how many freaking Wilsons are out there. It was impossible for them to connect the dots, I guess," she tried to reason.
"Why didn't you just give me to your parents?"
"My parents despised me, Jo. I was a disgrace to their family. But I was hoping if the police brought them a young child that they knew could only be mine… they would take care of you. Cause they didn't hate you… they just hated me. And with me gone… they could have taken care of you," she said.
"But why didn't you just leave me on their doorstep?"
"Because… well, look, I was in a bad place. I didn't think straight. I was hormonal," she pointed out for her, smiling slightly for trying to connect to something Jo knew a lot about at the moment. Jo's face didn't flicker one tiny bit. Samantha sighed, looking down at the ground. "I was hoping somebody else would make a decision for me. I was hoping that even though I did something despicable that you wouldn't have to suffer and the authorities would do the only reasonable thing I could think of and put you back with my parents. But that was a decision that I wasn't able to make. I was a dumb teenager. I know that now," she concluded. They stayed in silence for another bit.
"I really wish your ego and pride would have been a little smaller. And I hope you learned that some actions you take in your life really aren't all about you but affect other people so much more," Jo spat out, anger raising in her voice and her cleavage getting flustered with spots of red.
"You sound like a mom already," Samantha pointed out half-heartedly. Jo sighed, Samantha awaiting her reaction patiently. Jo let go of Alex and took a few steps away, turning around swiftly, making her dress get caught by the wind and outlining her small but defined baby belly perfectly. Samantha smiled at the sight of her.
"Thanks, really, I needed that," Jo said without any emotion showing on her face. "But please, don't ever contact me again. I don't need you. I have learned to live without you. You taught me well in that regard," she gave her one more burning look, before shifting her gaze towards Alex who was still standing next to Samantha, looking at her in pain, before turning around and walking downwards directing herself to their hotel at a fast pace. Alex stared after her for a second before looking over at Samantha who had one single tear running down her cheek which surprised him. When he looked at her, she turned over towards him, matching their eyes.
"I'm so, so sorry," Samantha voiced again, Alex nodding curtly. "Please take good care of her. I know you will. She looks so happy. You both do. Don't let anything get in your way," she said, pleading with him. He jerked away slowly when she tried to squeeze his arm.
"She has had the most terrible childhood a girl could have. You can't take that back with apologizing. I know you think you did the best you could at that time but you didn't do enough. I know she's trying to understand but she won't. Don't expect to hear from her ever again. You'll only be disappointed. You've given her closure now. And I'm grateful for that, I really am. But I won't be grateful for you. You've missed out on one of the most amazing people there are on this planet, I promise you. Yes, she's done well for herself. But you did not deserve to know about it or her," Alex told her, holding her gaze intently. He felt like even he had to make closure with the woman who had dared giving up on his girl. Samantha nodded, tears covering her eyes.
"It seems like she has found herself a pretty amazing person herself," she stated, smiling slightly. "I'm backing off now, I promise. She deserves the life she has. I don't. I get that. But you know… making bad decisions doesn't make you a bad person," she pointed out half-heartedly.
"That's true," Alex gave her after listening to her closely. "It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. It just makes you a person that Jo and I don't wanna get to know," he said, also smiling curtly now. "Have a good life," he said, turning around and jogging after Jo who had already walked out of his eyeshot, leaving a much shaken Samantha standing alone, not once turning back.