The Beauty of the Beast
Chapter 37
The first thing Emma realized when she stirred the next morning was the fact that Regina was not lying beside her anymore and that had her wide awake within a heartbeat.
She jumped up immediately, just to groan out of pain the next second, because her bruised body was still too tense for moving that fast, but Emma recovered quickly and headed for the bathroom, which was empty.
And so was the rest of the apartment.
Regina was gone.
But why? They had been okay when they had went to bed. Or not?
Emma had been aware that the brunette had been pretty overwhelmed after the incident in the crypt, but had it been really that bad? Obviously she had missed out on something, but why hadn't Regina talked to her?
'Because talking about problems isn't one of Regina's strong skills' Emma stated the obvious and returned to her bedroom to get dressed, because she was positive that she knew where the mayor was hiding.
Regina knew that she should not have left the apartment without talking to Emma, but the truth was that she did not know what to say.
She could not explain how she felt, could not wrap her head round the revelations of last night.
It did not make any sense to her.
Well, that was not entirely true, because she knew exactly what it meant, but she was not ready to face any of it.
Once she would admit it, once she would accept the truth for what it was, it would turn her world upside down, would crush everything she had believed in, would make everything she had held onto in all these years more or less pointless.
How was she supposed to explain that to Emma? Was it even possible to explain this whole mess?
She would go for a ride now, would try to sort out her thoughts and afterwards she would try to talk to Emma. Maybe.
If she would find the courage to do so.
When Emma arrived at the stables Regina was nowhere to be seen and Melech was gone too. Of course the mayor had went for a ride, but Emma knew that Regina had taken the best option for once, because the brunette had this self-destructive streak when she could not handle her feelings, so going for a ride clearly had been a good choice.
She sat down in the paddock, aware that Regina had to come back at some point. And till then she would use the time to figure out a few things for herself.
Melech snorted excitedly as soon as they returned to the stables and once Regina caught sight of Emma's yellow bug she had to smile.
Of course Emma had come to check on her.
How had she gotten that lucky all of a sudden to have someone as caring as Emma Swan in her life?
By the time Regina and her stallion reached the paddock, the horse was tripping in a way the brunette had never seen before and as soon as she opened the paddock door Melech ran off, obviously to say 'Hi' to Emma.
Unfortunately the blonde was so lost in thought that the sudden appearance of the stallion made her jump and Regina could not stop herself from laughing out loud.
The scared expression on Emma's face simply was hilarious and even the horse seemed to be amused, because Melech never stepped back, but bopped the blonde's shoulder with his nose over and over till Emma finally started to stroke his head.
"That horse of yours will be the death of me one of these days…I swear."
"Don't blame it on me, dear. He likes you…and besides that…who bought him?" Regina countered playfully.
"True…anyway…I just came here to check on you…are you okay?" Emma could not stop herself from asking, she was too worried.
"I guess I am. But we really need to talk."
They had driven to the mansion once Melech had been taken care of and now that they were sitting in Regina's study, each of them a glass of the mayor's famous apple cider in hand, Emma became slightly nervous.
Drinking before lunch screamed for big troubles.
Regina must have sensed her worries, because she sat down right next to Emma, taking the blonde's hand in hers, "This is not going to be easy, but I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you…so please don't take it personal…can you…can you promise me that?"
Emma saw the fear in the brunette's eyes and nodded, "I'll try my best. I'll hear you out…and try to stay objective."
The mayor took a deep breath, but then she started her attempt to make Emma understand what was going on inside her head, to explain the battle she was fighting against herself, "I told you before that I've never been attracted to women and it's still weird at times, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now, because you make me feel so comfortable with everything. And I love to have you around, to kiss you and everything. But as it seems this was the easy thing about our relationship."
Emma squeezed the brunette's hand reassuringly, because she knew that this whole talking thing was not something Regina was used to and she really appreciated the fact that the mayor had decided to be honest and try.
"You know, Emma…all my life I've believed that Daniel was my True Love, that he was the one. That I lost my chance of a happy ending…together with him. That's what I believed in, what I held on to. All the anger, the hate, the hunger for revenge…all of it was born out of this loss…", Regina dropped her head, but continued to speak, "And now…well…yesterday put everything in question. Seeing your heart…seeing our hearts…I guess it really means that we're meant to be…that we could find True Love with each other…and it scares the hell out of me. It makes me feel like a fool. I couldn't let go of my love for Daniel for so long…because I thought I knew that he was my True Love…I've been miserable for years, I've made the lives of so many people a living hell…and for what? For an illusion…I don't know how to…to handle all of this…even though it makes perfect sense…the more I think about it, but still…it's too hard…it's so confusing and I don't know what to do."
Emma did not know what to respond to that, because she understood what Regina meant, but she could not even imagine how weird the brunette must feel and so she simply put her glass aside, together with the mayor's and pulled Regina into her arms, holding her close, trying to give the shaking form next to her some comfort.
Regina buried her head in the crook of Emma's neck and started to sob hard, "My whole life is a lie…I feel like somebody has pulled the rug out from under my feet."
They had sat in the study for a long time and Regina had shed a lot of tears, but Emma simply had let her cry, because the brunette obviously had needed it.
She had held Regina the whole time, had never let go of her, because Emma was aware how fragile Regina truly was.
Now that the mayor had managed to put herself back together, she seemed to be highly embarrassed that she had fallen apart like that in front of Emma and she wanted to get up, wanted to get away, but the blonde held her back, "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Regina. This whole situation is confusing for me too, but it has to be three times worse for you. At least…but know that if Daniel wasn't your true love…which would be good for me by the way…you still truly loved him. And that's all that matters. You loved him. And he loved you too."
Emma knew that her comment had sounded awkward, but somehow it had put a smile on Regina's face none-the-less.
It would take a lot of time for them to work through all of this, but the blonde had no doubt that they would make it and the mayor's comment proved it.
"Thank you for being so understanding, Emma. I don't know what I would do without you", Regina stated honestly and sealed it with a kiss.
Mary Margaret had called Emma in the afternoon to let her know that she had picked Henry up at Ruby's in the morning, so he had been able to go to school and that they could meet up at the diner to have dinner together.
Emma was glad that her mother had thought about taking Henry to school with her, but she did not know what to do about the dinner invitation.
Sure, she had agreed on having coffee with Mary Margaret the night before, but she did not want to leave Regina alone in her current state.
Should she risk taking her with her? Would that be a smart idea?
"What's wrong, dear?"
"Nothing. Mary Margaret just called and told me that she has taken Henry to school in the morning." Emma answered truthfully, because she knew lying would get her nowhere. Especially not with Regina.
"Oh." The brunette seemed to be speechless for a moment, but recovered quickly, "Well, I think that was nice of your mother."
"I think so too. She…uhm…wants to…to have dinner at Granny's and I just wondered…if you maybe…would want to join us…only if you are up for it of course." Emma watched Regina closely to sense what kind of an answer she could expect, but the mayor took her by surprise, "Okay."
"Okay? Like okay okay? Like you are coming with me?" The blonde stared at Regina in disbelief, considering how high the chances were that she was dreaming.
Regina had to laugh at the confused expression on Emma's face, "Yes. I'm coming with you. I think I can manage to have dinner without ripping your mother's head off."
On the way over to the diner Emma prayed that she would not have made a mistake by suggesting to have dinner together, but it was too late anyway.
The way Regina walked made it obvious that the brunette was tense, but she was willing to try after all and Emma gave her credit for that.
As soon as they entered the diner Henry jumped up from the booth and stormed over to hug his mothers tight, "I missed you, both of you. Are you okay?"
"Everything is fine, sweetheart. I hope you had a great time with Miss Lucas?" Regina bent down to kiss her son on the forehead.
"We had so much fun. And Ashley stopped by with the baby, because she was bored at home since Sean is helping Belle with Gold's funeral or something", Henry shrugged, but smiled.
Emma took a look at Ruby, who was standing behind the counter, fixing drinks, but the blonde could sense how sad her friend was.
She decided that she really should make time to spend it with Ruby, because the leggy brunette looked like she could need somebody to talk to.
But first she had to survive dinner.
Regina had been amused by Mary Margaret's shocked face when she had caught sight of her, but she had sworn herself that she would try to be civilized.
She would try for Emma's sake, because she was aware of the fact that it was important to the blonde to be okay with her parents.
And Mary Margaret had helped her after all although they still hated each other.
She had kept her promise this time, had not revealed Regina's secret, but she had talked sense into Emma when she easily could have torn them apart forever.
And somehow Regina respected that, because she knew exactly how hard it was to say a good word about the other. But Mary Margaret seemed to give her chance and although Regina did not understand why, she had decided to try.
To try and be "nice."
For Emma. And Henry.
Dinner had been a bit awkward, but it had went way better than Emma had expected.
Regina and Mary Margaret had not really talked to each other, but they had not fought either. Henry had saved them all with his comments about God and the world and Emma had been so proud and thankful for her smart son.
And she had appreciated Regina's willingness to try to get along with Mary Margaret, because it was obvious how hard it was for the mayor, but Regina had bitten back almost all her sarcastic comments and Emma felt like she had won the biggest of battles.
It only was a small step, but a step forward none-the-less.
A step into their direction.
When Ruby had come to clean their table Emma had taken the opportunity to make plans with the waitress for the upcoming night, but according to the expression on Regina's face the mayor was not very fond of the idea and Emma had to chuckle.
The brunette looked so adorable when she was jealous although the blonde knew that Regina would never admit it.
Emma had announced that she would walk Regina and Henry home and Mary Margaret had not been surprised. Not at all.
Even when Regina had not really talked to her, she was not blind.
She had noticed all the cute, little looks her daughter and the mayor had shared and now that she stood there, watching them go, Mary Margaret had to smile.
Henry was walking in the middle, holding the hands of both his mothers and as bizarre as it was, Mary Margaret had to admit that the tree of them had truly become a family.