Alright, chapter 38, almost to 40! I truly don't know what to do. Relaly don't want his story to end, but it's slowly but surley starting to wind down, of course I'll be doing other stories wihtt he girls and turtles, but I've also got other fics to wrok on that need my attention, but I've gotten so attached tot his fic, it's alike afriend getting ready to move far away! T-T.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT

It was official, the turtles and the girls had been dating for almost 8 weeks, more than a month. They had known each other for a total of almost 4 months, their feelings for each other building from close friendship to love. But while these intense feelings remained unvoiced, the time casually slipped into the middle of August, the end of summer was fast approaching, and so was the girls reprieve of training and time to train before fight Chicobo, the evil chimera demon that slunk in the shadows like a snake. He was ready to strike at all times, but kept to the shadows and let his prey come to him, sending forth his minions to take care of his dirty work before putting himself at risk. Only one of them had seen him so far, and that one was too afraid to resurface those memories to even remotely tell them what he at least looked like.

The pressure on the boys was almost as great as it was on the girls, whenever they even walked into the kitchen for breakfast, the calendar seemed to mock and laugh cruelly at hem as it displayed the date. It snickering as their hearts stopped in panic, as their minds subconsciously pictured the battle to come, and the possibilities that came with it. As usual, the younger brothers turned to their elder for strength and reassurance. And Leonardo readily gave it to them, but no matter how much comfort he gave out, it seemed to deplete his own supply, as his own doubt started to eat away at him.

It was one of these times, as he watched Mikey trot around the kitchen fixing himself a double chocolate fudge sundae (he always eats when he's nervous) Where, Leo grit his teeth and slowly turned his head in the direction of the calendar, August 15thjot much time Leonardo, not much time.

Leo gulped and put his face in his head in his hands, taking a deep breath and looking back up. He was not expecting to see his youngest brother's face mere inches form his own, looking at him curiously.

"Gah!" He cried out and accidently bashed is head against Mikey's. They both immediately groaned in pain and rubbed the growing bumps on their for-heads.

"Geez Leo, no need to freak out, I was just wondering if you wanted a sundae." Mikey frowned, his lower lip jutting out just a tiny bit unknowingly to him.

Leo took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, "You do not ask people questions by shoving your head next to theirs, it only gives them a heart attack."

Mikey shrugged when their conversation was interrupted by a shrill sound of ringing. The problem was solved when Mikey gleefully answered his shell cell, it was Beccy, no doubt.

As Leo tuned out their conversation, he tried his best to suppress the growing tension in his head and chest, a pressure settling itself like a bird in a nest in both places, making breathing very uncomfortable but annoyingly necessary.

"Kay Beccy, gotta go…yeah yeah love ya to, bye." Mikey laughed, hanging up and continued to hum as he prepared his ice cream.

Leo's eyes had popped open and his mouth gaped at the word love. There was no way Beccy and Mikey had were ready to say I love you, no way, they had only been officially dating for a month now, they only knew each other for four months. Leo could barley maintain a straight face when his brothers teased him about his crush on Tawni before that bridge had been crossed, now they were dating, but they couldn't possibly be THAT far yet? Could they?

"Mikey, what the heck?!" Leo said, giving is brother an urgent look and observing in annoyance how his voice had squeaked slightly in his surprise. Mikey gave him a surprised look of his own, the spoon hanging out of his mouth as he paused in his skarfing of the icy treat. The orange banded turtle swallowed and rose an eye-ridge at his older brother,

"What? What'd I do now?"

"You-you said, 'I love you' to Beccy, don't you know what a mixed message that's going to give, to both of you?"

Mikey blinked at him uncomprehending as Leo groaned frustrated,

"For god's sake Mike, you're 15!"

"So are you.."

"That's not the point!!" Leo snapped, embarrassed at his blatant mistake, you can't use age in their situation, after all he was only older by a few seconds, if anything.

He took a deep breath as Mikey gave him a strange look, "I mean…we only just started dating, what if things don't work out, I don't want you or Beccy to get hurt if that happens."

Mikey blinked at him and snickered, "Me or Beccy huh, dude if things don't work out then things don't work out but I'm not going to hide in my shell and wait for something that may or may not happen. How often are we gonna find girls that accept us for who and what we are. I'm not gonna let her slip away that easily without stating how I feel first, besides that, we were just joking around Leo, we haven't said the 'L' word in all seriousness yet. Chill." Mikey wiggled his eyebrows and waved his ice cream at Leo, showing off his badly gone about pun.

Leo growled in frustration "You just don't get it."

Mikey grunted as he slurped on his ice cream, "I'm pretty sure I do, this really isn't about me or Beccy is it, you're worried about you and Tawni, "Mikey pointed his spoon at Leo in an accusing manner, "You're afraid of getting hurt, because of what we are."

Leo stood up furious, "That's not true, I trust Tawni completely, she doesn't care that we're turtles or ninjas, she cares about us for who we are!!" He said, Mikey maintained his laid back position without much reaction to Leo's angry outburst.

"I know that, I know you know that, but that doesn't change the fact that for once our fearless leader is afraid. You're afraid of losing Tawni, You're afraid of not being able to protect her, You're afraid to admit you're in love with her," Mikey stared as Leo turned away from him.

"I-I'm not, I mean, not yet at least, but.."

"Do you not want to be in love with her?" Mikey asked, his voice sincere and free of judgment.

Leo's head snapped back, "No, no that's not it, nothing would make me…but her…i-its too soon, I'd chase her away, what if…because of me if.."

Mikey stared at him as Leo's brain literally shut down, "Leo, it's okay to be nervous, you're a guy, commitments hard. But really, I can see it when you look at her, you love her dude. She makes you happy beyond all possible reason and you do the same to her. I'm worried about the battle too Leo, you're not the only one, but you can't expect yourself to be able to protect her form everything, including yourself."

Mikey stood and put his hand on his elder brother's shoulder, "It's okay to be scared for them bro, we all are."

Leo stood stiffly, "I-I'm not..afraid, I'm not in love, I'm not!!" With that he charged out, in an emotional huff that could give Raph a run for his money.

Mikey sighed and sat back down to his ice-cream, "I so hit the nail on the head with that one, "He swallowed a big glob of ice-cream in congratulations to himself. He stole a look at the calendar himself after a minute, and looked back down, giving his treat a half hearted stir.

///////////////////

"Leo, Leo please!" Tawni reached for him,

Leo tried to speak, to move, to reach out and grasp her, anything to make her stop crying with that desperate and frightened face she had. But he couldn't he was frozen the position fate made him go into. Tawni backed away as if he had spit on her, like she was afraid, like he had glared at her with an expression so hateful…but he hadn't had he? He couldn't have!

After more failed attempts to gain his attention, to receive that gently look he always gave her, Tawni turned tearfully form him, "I understand…….good bye, when I fight Chicobo…I'll let him kill me, so you'll never have to be troubled by me again!!"

Leo panicked and tried to catch her, but he couldn't , his legs were cemented to the ground. How could she misunderstand him so? That's never what he wanted, he didn't want that. He wanted her to be safe, safe from him if their old enemies ever targeted her, safe form Chicobo, if she was too heartbroken to face, she wouldn't be able to fight him, and wouldn't be hurt, safe from himself, if he really was a monster like almost every human accused him of being.

"But I'm different Leo, you are not a monster I know your not, you know your not!!" Tawni's voice echoed all around him, as he searched for it,

'I-I know you are, I know I'm not, b-but..' he thought desperately, but his lips were sealed shut despite his desperation to speak, his throat was dry and muted.

Suddenly there was a snarling rippling laughter, "You're too late Leonardo.." Giant red eyes blazed before him, "you're too late..

Leo tried to look away, to convince himself that what he was looking at wasn't real. Tawni, blood, her body twisted painfully on the ground. Her screams repeating in his head a million times over. He fell to his knees beside her, shaking her, anything to wake her up. Finally, his voice came back with a giant painful burst at his desperation

"Don't leave me, I-I have to tell you..i have to tell you that I I lo-," his voice closed off, and frustrated , he tried again "…Oh Tawni I'm sorry I'm so, so sorry.."

Her eyes were blank and un-seeing as they stared up at him accusingly, before her head turned away, and she was gone forever.

"NO!!!" Leo screamed, his limbs flailing and his heart racing, "No no no!!" It wasn't until he fell out of his bed with a harsh Thunk, that he realized he had woken up.

Leo looked around his room, finding familiar objects and looking at the time. 3 am , august 16th. It looked nothing like the blank void that Leo was trapped in after Tawni was gone, nothingness, where he had been was pure nothingness. It was only a dream, his mind told him over and over again. But it didn't stop the guilt and paint hat seared at the edges of Leo's nearly shattered heart.

"Don't leave me…please don't leave me.." He mumbled to himself, rubbing his arms to try and calm the goos-bumps that prickled his skin, "H-how could I be so selfish, why didn't I just tell you! Why didn't I tell you that…that……"

Leo stopped talking, his breath and heart seemingly disappearing as his revelation was discovered. The conversation between Mike and himself played over in his head.

Leo buried his face in his hands and looked back up, shamefully looking at his own tears, something he hadn't done for ages now, "I love you….." He said it, shocked as what he had tried so hard to deny came to light, finally.

"Tawni…I love you…why was it so hard for me…why did I try….?"

The face he had been looking at in the dream entered his head, lifeless, merciless, cruel, unforgiving, hurt,

The teenage turtle shuddered, and thought rapidly of what the could do to make that face go away, anything to make it go away.

After a moment he looked up in inspiration, instantly tying on his bandanna, and walking swiftly out of his room and the lair.

/////////////

Tawni groaned, her minds slowly coming out of it's numbing sleep and processing the world as it was. It was late…or was it early? She looked at the clock, early. It was still dark, everyone would still be sleeping…..wait a minute, then what was that extra presence she felt.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she turned her head to the other side where the presence was coming form. Her eyes rose to the top of her head to see Leo there, his arms folded underneath his head, supporting it, his eyes were closed. His breathing was uneven, so he couldn't be asleep. But what was he doing here? At this hour to be precise?

Leo inhaled deeply for a minute, and his exhale came out shaky. It was at that moment Tawni realized how badly Leo seemed to be shaking, even though it was a warm night.

Slowly, as her body continued to wake up, she reached a hand to touch his head softly, resting it on top and stroking it soothingly, "Leo, sweetheart what's wrong?"

Leo looked up at her, seeming surprised that she was awake, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up it's just I…" He trailed off, when he shuddered again, the memory of her face in his dream contrasted with the portrait of loving concern painted on her face now.

Tawni looked around, seeing Ella peacefully sleeping across the room. She stirred a little at the noise they were making. But Leo needed to talk, now.

"C'mon, this way, " she whispered, taking his hand gently and pulling him up with her. He followed unquestionably, tightening his grip on her hand. He felt like a little kid again. He used to have to constantly hold his little brother's hands if they had to make a small journey to the bathroom in the dark, or see splinter about pulling out a loose tooth. He couldn't recall ever having one of them doing it for him though…

He was surprised when she opened the window to the apartment that led to the fire escape. Not letting go of his hand, Tawni pulled him with her up the stairs to the very top of the roof, the cement ridge around the top serving as a good back rest as she sat on her knees.

She looked up at him, still holding his hand, and patted the ground next to her. Heavily, he complied.

Leo rested is head on her lap as she continued to pet lightly at his brow, slowly bringing his still panicking heart to a slight flutter.

"This isn't like you Leo, what on earth happened?"

He looked up at her, gazing into her eyes and bringing her hand up to his chin, " I needed to see you..I-I needed to know that…you were aright.."

Tawni blinked down at him for a moment, before her look softened, and she continued her soothing pet, "You had a nightmare?" She asked, her voice held know mock in it.

Leo gulped a little and nodded, felling more than a little pathetic. Tawni 'hmmed' understandingly, noting that this must have been one hell of a nightmare to bring the fearless leader to hyperventilating. She brought his hand still grasped in hers upwards and kissed it gently.

"What was it about Leo?"

Leo closed his eyes at the question, knowing what was going to reenter his head, his shuddering became violent once again and his heart panicked, He grit his teeth to try and get back in control, but seeing Tawni, his Tawni laying so..broken in his dream.

Tawni looked down at Leo, worried at how badly he was shaking but not showing it, as he continued to gently try and calm him down, this really wasn't like Leo at all, "Was it about Chicobo, about me and the others fighting him soon?"

The look She received in response told her all she needed to know, his soft brown eyes were bloodshot from stress and exhaustion, they looked sad and worried. She could only smile and shake her head sighing, "Oh Leo…" she reprimanded softly.

She gently lifted his head off of her lap so she could stand up, but she didn't let go of his hand. Slowly, she managed to pull him up. He was still shaking in his anxiety, and yes, for once, Leonardo was displaying the fear he had.

She led him out to the center of the roof, lights lit up the summer sky around them, though they knew no one was awake to watch them. He stared at her curiously, as she brought one of is trembling hands to her hip, the other still clutching hers. She placed a hand gracefully on top of his shoulder, where it perched as lightly as a butterfly.

Leo was startled out of his angst ridden thoughts when he noticed the gentle rocking motion Tawni had led them into, slowly they pivoted in a circle, rocking back and forth with each other, barley moving. They were dancing.

When Leo finally met Tawni's eyes to give her a questioning look, she tilted her chin upwards and smiled, "did you know that my grandfather taught me one of the most important lessons fo dancing?"

Leo shook his head,

"She sighed happily, "He taught me, "she continued, "that the hardest dance to accomplish is one without music form a stereo or CD player, but with music that comes form the mind and heart."

As they continued to rock back and forth, Leo noticed that he was gradually recognizing the movements and was able to predict which direction he would turn in next.

Tawni, used her hand to turn his head back to meet her eyes, "Now…I want you to take a deep breath, and close your eyes. Don't worry about where we are, or what time it is…al that's here right now, is you and me……don't speak, we need to be absolutely quiet.."

She took a moment for him to follow her instructions. He did, and the silent air made his heart speed uneasily, in response, she moved her head closer to his, "Now, I want you to listen….to my footfalls, and my breathing, and finally my heart, move you feet ever so slightly with each beat it takes, and I'll do the same with yours."

For nearly 10 minutes they did just that, moving silently to the rhythm of their hearts until finally they beat as one.

As Leo inlay clamed down, his shaking stopped, and he felt confident enough to let go of the Tawni's hand which had been held with a vice like grip before. He slowly let his hand travel up her arm, down her ribcage so it could be placed at her hip like his other. In response Tawni moved her hands to res just behind is neck and he pulled her closer, so their foreheads touched and it was like their bodies and melted into each other. They stopped traveling in a circle, but decided to just rock like that in place, pressed against each other.

Slowly, they opened their eyes together, and lo leaned in, capturing her lips in a passionate lip lock, silently saying thank you. She responded immediately, and for a mew moments they moved their lips together in a dance of their own, until the need for air became to much for them and they pulled apart, once again closing their eyes and continuing their dance.

Leo brought one of his hands to the small of her back, trying to bring her as close as he possibly could, 'I love you..' He thought to himself, gradually, noticing how easy it was to say, because it was the unchangeable truth.

He pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled, 'I love you so much..'

/////////////////////

Both teenagers weren't sure how long it took them to realize that they were no longer dancing, but merely holding each other like they were about to fly to opposite ends of the earth. All they knew is that a cold chill had made goose-bumps rise on their skin once again, and they decided it was time to go in.

Both held onto each others hands a they traveled back into the apartment, Leo had no intention of leaving, the teenager in him clearly stating 'screw responsibility' for once. It was alright, because Tawni had no intention of letting him leave.

"What about the others..?" Leo asked quietly after the proposal of him staying over was made.

"I wouldn't worry about it.." Tawni smiled knowingly. Leo soon found out why.

He entered to seraph with Cam curled up at his side on the couch, ad he could hear Mikey snoring along with Beccy it he other room. When they entered Tawni's room again, he rose an eye ridge to find Donatello asleep at the bottom of the bed, a blanket pulled over him, but Ella was sleeping with her head on his outstretched legs.

Leo smiled apologetically at the sky, Splinter was going to have one confused morning at the disappearance of his sons..

He heard the creak of the bed as Tawni climbed into it, patting the spot next to her like she had on the roof, and snuggling under the thin blankets. Leo sighed tiredly and joined her at the bed, lifting the top cover and climbing on top of the rest. He wanted to make sure if his less sensitive brothers found them, there would be an assurance that nothing dirty had been achieved that night (…oh come on! Stephanie Meyer got away with it in twilight, they can sleep in the same bed without sleeping with each other! Besides..it's cute..)

He laid down next to Tawni and brought her to him once again, she nuzzled her head underneath his chin and soon enough she was asleep.

Leo looked down at the sleeping girl and kissed her forehead much like he had at the bathhouse, "Goodnight Tawni Grell, my tiger lily, I love you. I promise…I'll tell you when you're awake soon…but for now I'm going to be a little cowardly and selfish for once, until we're ready…."

He pulled her closer and closed his eyes, her smiling as I she had heard everything.

(sniffle) That was so beautiful!! I can't believe I wrote it! Wait that's not right….

Anyway, I know this seemed a little dark for Leo, I'm sorry if it was a little OOC, I was trying really hard to keep him in character, which is hard when you're trying to portray Leo completely wigging out!! The whole dancing thing I was inspired to do by that scene in Awakenings. Y'know that part when the girl is dancing with Leonard even though he's twitching all over the place to say good bye to him before he goes back into his comatose state. That movie made me cry a billion times over, It just want' fair!! Why!! (bawls)

Okay I'm back now, thanks for reading my chapter!

Donny: Read and review please!