The next chapter after this one is the final chapter, everyone

I flickered my eyes open, walked over to Joe's room and what I saw was a nightmare.

I must still be dreaming, I thought. What I'm seeing isn't really happening.

The beeping of monitors were going off in my ear and giving me a headache. There were nurses and doctors just rushing into his rooms and they just looked like blurs to me; everyone did. The world was moving slower and slower and I wasn't moving at all.

I felt somebody pull me out of the way and when I turned around, I realized it was Kevin, his eyes as scared as mine probably looked.

I could barely choke out, "W-what's going on?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "One minute he was fine and the next..."

I looked over at Joe's room, my feet suddenly moving on their own as I walked over there.

"Joe, you can't die," I pleaded softly.

"Who are you? Someone get her out!" One of the doctors yelled impatiently as I tried moving closer.

A nurse grabbed my arm. "No," I said, my voice determined. "You don't understand."

"Please sweetie, you need to leave so we can help -"

"I can help! I have to help...Joe this is all my fault."

The nurse looked at me sympathetically with her warm brown eyes and I focused my attention on the people rushing around Joe.

"He can't die," I told her. "He can't. I can't lose him. I can't lose anyone else."

"Hon, you have to leave, I'm sorry."

"Please..." I begged. " Please let me stay. I need to..." I didn't even know how to finish that sentence.

"We're losing him!" I heard someone yelling as they pounded on his chest.

"No...you aren't. Y-you have to do something! Anything!" I begged the nurse.

She gave me that look again. "You really should go," she said patiently, "it's not good for you to be here seeing this."

"Joe damnit, you can't quit on me now!" I screamed.

"I said to get her out of here Erin!"

"I'm sorry!" she answered back.

I pushed through the people and stood at the foot of the bed. "Joe, come on. I tell you I love you and you die on me? That's not fair."

Not that I was the one to talk about being fair.

The nurse Erin grabbed my arm again, gently pulling me away.

This time, I didn't fight, but I whispered, "Please," one last time before I left the room.

"Could you try and keep her out of there please?" I heard her whisper to Kevin. "I know she's upset...but she isn't helping with the chaos in there."

Kevin nodded and she slipped back in the room.

"Kevin, I -"

"Shh," he said. "I know." Then he took me in his arms and hugged me tight. I hugged back just as hard and when I looked up at his eyes, I noticed he'd been crying, so I hugged him even more.

When I lifted my head, I saw Mr. Jonas who held a sobbing Denise, and Nick was trying so hard not to cry; I could see it.

I walked over to Nick as soon as I let go of Kevin. "Hey," I said, my voice raspy.

"Hey," he replied, his voice higher than usual.

We stood there for a minute and I took a look at the boy who I considered my little brother. "Oh, come here," I said as I took him in a hug

.
Just like that, he was crying. Not hard, but I could feel him shake and hear him sniffle every so often.

It was about time I helped one of them instead of hurting them.

Nick wiped his eyes quickly as he let go and he muttered a quick, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

I pretty much collapsed on a waiting room chair; my legs were suddenly giving way on me. I looked over anxiously at Joe's room. Please, I whispered consistently. Please.

I put my head in my hands and I waited just like that, for as long as it took for them to save Joe.

But I was dead sure that he wouldn't make it. I needed him, so he wouldn't make it. It was how it went; I needed my mom, and she left me. I needed my dad and he died. That's how my life worked and I was used to it...

I just wish it wasn't like that anymore.