The first thing Poe thought when he woke was, Ben.
The second thing was, Another hospital bed? He closed his eyes, his eyelids heavy.
"Poe?" The voice sounded vaguely familiar.
Poe wearily opened his eyes. He'd never felt more tired in his life. As his vision focused, he could make out the age-weathered face of . . .
"Luke?" It came out as a croak. Poe's throat felt raw, as if he'd been screaming. He tried again. "Luke?"
"I'm here," Luke Skywalker said. He glanced around. "We all are."
Poe followed the Jedi Master's eyes. For the first time, he noticed the others in the room — Leia, Finn, Rey, Snap – even Chewbacca was with them. The Wookiee gave a soft growl.
Speaking seemed difficult, but Poe managed another word. "Ben."
No one said anything, but Luke's gaze gave it away. Poe turned his head to the side and saw Ben lying unconscious on a gurney right beside him. Mentally, he panicked. Physically, though, he couldn't seem to do anything. Looking down, he realized that their fingers were intertwined across the gurney rails. How hadn't he noticed before?
"Poe." This time, it was Leia's turn. She hurried over to Poe's side and gently hugged him. "Are you feeling all right?"
"Not . . . really," Poe confessed. He felt like his head had just been split with a Tusken gaderffii. Again, he turned his attention to the prone figure beside him. "Ben?"
"Poe, do you know how long you've been out?" Luke asked.
"No," Poe whispered. He wanted to ask about Ben again, but he had the feeling his question wouldn't get answered.
"It's been almost a day." Snap. "The two of you went into joint cardiac arrest a few hours ago, and then nothing. We were all really scared you wouldn't wake up."
Chewbacca gave a low roar of agreement.
"What happened?" Poe rasped.
"I don't know how to explain it," Luke admitted, "but I think when you and Ben tried to connect earlier, something went wrong, and it nearly killed you two. Leia and I did what we could to help, but something shut us out. The Dark Side had a very strong presence here for the past day."
It was then that Ben stirred. Poe couldn't do much more than squeeze his hand a little tighter. Ben blinked groggily. He turned his head towards Poe. "Poe?"
Somehow, they both found the strength to help each other sit up. Through every touch, Poe could feel waves of pain radiating from Ben's body, but no darkness. That had to be a good thing, right?
"Poe . . ." Ben just stared at him, his expression indescribably pained and happy at the same time.
"Ben . . . it's really you?"
"It's me—"
All at once, they fell into each other's arms. It was more instinctual, a reflex and a habit rather than a situational thing. Poe rested his head against Ben's collarbone as Ben laid his head on Poe's shoulder. Their hands were in each other's hair, against each other's backs, pressing tighter and tighter until it seemed like they could become one person.
Poe wasn't sure who started crying first, but they soon evolved into a sobbing mess, each saying things incomprehensible but understood to the other. Ben took one of Poe's hands and held it to his chest, right over his heart. Poe put his other hand on Ben's cheek, wiping away the flood of tears with his thumb.
"I'm here," Poe whispered, only loud enough for the two of them to hear. "I'm here, Ben."
"Poe, I —" Ben's words were breathless and came in short gulps. "I'm sorry — I'm so sorry —"
Poe broke down even further. He pressed his forehead to Ben's and echoed the apology he'd kept as his mantra over the past six years. "I'm so sorry, Ben — I should have been there — I'm sorry I'm so sorry —"
They pulled away just enough for Ben to hesitate a moment before closing his eyes and kissing Poe. It wasn't necessarily a romantic kiss, more like one of apology and forgiveness and reassurance all at once. It was a kiss of question, and Poe closed his eyes and answered.
Ben's mouth still felt familiar after all these years, his soft, perfect lips and his gentle, almost hesitant touch. They kissed again and again and again. Poe thought he heard someone leave the room, but his mind was only focused on Ben.
Their kisses grew more desperate, warmth blossoming between their lips. Poe could taste salt — were they Ben's tears or his own? Through each kiss, Poe pressed the message I'm here. Every time, Ben responded. I know. He didn't have to say I'm here, too. He never had to.
After an all-too-short eternity, Poe pulled away from Ben, his face and lips flushed. He couldn't stop staring at Ben's face, one both familiar abd strange at the same time. He traced a finger down Ben's scar, carefully, as though he were touching a wounded animal. In some ways, he was.
Ben's hand went to Poe's collar, his dark brown eyes asking permission. Poe pulled the top of his shirt open, and Ben slowly ran his fingers down the scar on the pilot's collarbone.
"We sort of match," Poe joked half-heartedly. Neither one of them laughed.
"This shouldn't have happened," Ben said. "This should never have happened."
"Don't," Poe said softly. "Don't go there. What's done is done."
"Poe, I can't even begin — I-I don't know what to say —"
"Then don't say anything," Poe said. "You owe nothing to me, Ben. What happened — that wasn't you. You have nothing to apologize for."
"How can you say that? After what I did to you . . . " Ben's voice trailed off.
"Hey, what did I say?" Poe tried to smile. "I'm always gonna be here for you. It doesn't matter what happened. Not anymore."
"Okay." Ben took Poe's hand in his.
"We'll figure this out," Poe added. "We always do."
Ben managed to smile at that. "I haven't heard that in a long time."
They sat there for a while, just staring at each other and drinking in each other's presence. The moment was interrupted by a roar from Chewbacca.
Both Ben and Poe whirled around, startled. Poe had honestly forgotten that there were other people in the room. Snap, Rey, and Finn had left, but Leia, Luke, and Chewie had stayed. Chewie roared again.
"Yeah, I guess I am back." Ben ran a hand through his hair. He looked up as Leia walked over to his side. "Mom—"
He couldn't finish his sentence, since Leia had smothered him in a hug. "Oh, my boy, my sweet boy . . ."
Ben squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Leia back, shaking silently with more sobs. Luke put a hand on Poe's shoulder, and Chewbacca made a low purring noise. Poe met Luke's eyes, and the Jedi showed a hint of a smile.
Poe felt like he was back home. His family had changed over the years, and they'd lost Han, but something felt whole, felt right. More than that, he remembered. He remembered everything that had happened, from his fall to Ben's. It hurt so much, but it felt good to remember. That hole, that gaping emptiness that he had filled with the rush of battle — it was gone. Poe wanted to capture this moment in a holo and hold it forever, but no holo, no art, no poem or song or anything at the limits of the imagination could even begin to describe the feeling.
Leia and Ben pulled apart, Leia gently stroking Ben's hair. Ben looked from her to Poe to Luke. "So what happens now?"
"We made up a story," Luke said. "Apparently, I found a deep Force link between you two that was initiated during Poe's captivity, and to protect the Resistance, I'm taking both of you away. I'm going to try — well, not try, but I'll do my best to get rid of it, and hopefully Poe will be able to return soon. Rey and Finn are coming with us, too."
"Finn?" Poe frowned. It wasn't that he disliked the idea of the ex-stormtrooper coming with them, but he wasn't completely on board with it, either . . .
"He volunteered to come," Luke shrugged. "And apparently, he seems to know about First Order interrogation tactics and may be able to help us find a way to fix this 'Force link'."
"It won't look strange if I'm going with you?" Ben asked.
"You're going to be sedated," Leia said. "At least, until we can get you a safe distance away from the Resistance fleet. We're also going to have to use Force cuffs, Ben. I'm sorry, but we need to make it look real."
"Oh." The slightest look of discomfort passed over Ben's face. "Do I need to wear the helmet?"
Leia and Luke exchanged a glance. Finally, Luke said, "It might be better if you did. Just for appearances."
"We'll take it off as soon as we get on board," Poe promised. He looked at Luke. "Are we taking the Falcon?"
Luke nodded, and Chewie roared confirmation.
"Chewie's going to stay here with me, though," Leia said. "Snap and BB-8, too. It wouldn't look good if suddenly everyone that knows Poe Dameron is flying off to the edge of the galaxy."
"Right." Poe ran a hand through his hair. "When do we leave?"
"Whenever you're ready," Luke replied. "Or, whenever you're 'ready to wake up'."
"Can we have a minute?" Ben asked.
Leia nodded. "We'll be right outside."
Luke, Leia, and Chewie left the room. Poe watched the doors close behind them. He could hear their muffled voices outside.
"Hey," Ben said, and Poe turned back to him. "Something wrong with you and Finn?"
It was amazing how Ben was still able to read him like an open book. Poe shrugged, not knowing where to begin. "Ah, well, um, it's sort of complicated. See, he helped me escape from the First Order, and then we crashed on Jakku, and then he just showed up at the Resistance, and then . . . erm, we kind of kissed a couple times."
"Oh."
"But I don't know what we are now," Poe admitted. Somehow, it felt easy talking to Ben about a semi-affair he'd had, despite the fact that Ben was the one he'd semi-affaired against. "After Starkiller, things have just been too different. At first, it was sort of about Kylo Ren, but it's just kind of gone downhill from there . . ."
"Hm." Ben was silent for a few seconds. "Do you love him?"
Poe didn't really have an answer. "I don't know. I hope we can at least be friends. All of us, I mean. It's just . . . he and Rey don't really know you like I've known you. They've only seen the other guy. I just wish that they can see the good in you."
"Maybe they will, maybe they won't," Ben said. "I mean, I still have to come to terms with what I did, and it's not easy. It's like — I remember everything I've done, but it's like watching someone else control my body and my thoughts. I don't know how I'm going to get past that."
"I don't know, either, but we'll figure it out," Poe said. He gently hugged Ben again.
"We'll figure it out," Ben murmured.
We always do.