*Note* I've resisted making the switch from *T* to *M* up to this point because the rest of the story is so tame. As you know Sheldon's mysophobia is extreme so I've attempted to detail his experience towards tolerance (because he'll never be truly free of it imo). It's a series of baby steps which has been at times sensual and clinical.
We've now come to the point where a couple of ficlets are going to be *MATURE* in nature and I've (apparently) driven my partner crazy debating over whether I should move the story to *M*. I've done a lot of reading in the *T* section over the past few days and have come to realize that my story should bump into *M* for content.
Rather than rewrite my ficlets to conform with the *T* rating I'd prefer to switch to maintain (in my mind) the integrity of the story (not to mention peace in the household!). I hope you'll join me.
The rating to *Mature* will occur as of Chapter 39.
Thank you to those whose ears I bent on the subject.
Thank you again for taking the time to read, review, alert, etcetera. I've worked really hard on this story and knowing that others are sharing the ride with me makes this fun! *Lynn
xTBBTx
"D-Day," Jeff said to Penny as they walked into class. "Time to see if the culprit mans up."
"I'm sure he'll do the right thing," Penny replied as her eyes took in a pale Pierce sitting at his desk. He looked so incredibly sad it broke her heart.
"The cheater better," said Shirley as she watched the pair settle into their seats. "I need this credit if I'm going to continue in my business program next semester."
"If things don't go so well I'll set up a meeting with Dean Pelton." Jeff sat back and prepared for the show as Señor Chang entered the room with a look of malevolent joy.
"Just to let you know I received no letters of guilt under my door," the teacher said. "Take a look around the room. Go on, look!" The class complied, each student looking at his or her classmate with apprehension. "Notice attendance is perfect. That means the cheater is here!"
Penny could see the fearful expression on Pierce's face. The older man caught her eyes and pinched his lips in a tight smile.
Señor Chang crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Ten seconds to zero."
As the seconds ticked by Penny could feel her heart beat faster. She made her glance at Pierce seem casual and could see the man was not well. He looked positively ancient.
Pierce cleared his throat, causing every eye in the class to fall upon his person. Penny recognized his look of defeat as coming from deeper within. Cheating on a Spanish test was the last straw on the camel's back and Pierce was about to succumb to a fall she didn't think he could take.
"Yes?" Señor Chang said expectantly.
"I did it."
It took Penny a moment to realize the words came from her mouth.
"No," Shirley gasped. Jeff's jaw dropped.
"Pack your things missy and be gone from our sight!" the teacher said harshly. Blushing, Penny picked up her books and backpack and had barely made it past the door before he slammed it shut. "Basura." He clapped his hands once. "So," he said in a pleasant voice as he crossed over to his desk. "Turn to page sixty two."
XxX
Jeff found a dejected Penny sitting on a bench in the quad looking into space. He plunked himself down beside her and paused a moment until she acknowledged his presence.
"You know I'm not adverse to a little deception from time to time but I seem to recall someone telling me that this was her chance to turn her life around," he said slowly.
"I know," she said quietly. Jeff narrowed his eyes as he measured her reaction.
"I actually believed that."
Penny sighed. "Jeff, I…." Didn't cheat.
"'I'?"
She shook her head as she pulled out a letter with the Pasadena City College logo at the top.
"I got called into the Dean's office."
"Yeah, I heard your name over the loudspeaker. So what did Pelton say?" Jeff asked gently.
"They're going to have a disciplinary tribunal on Monday at two in the Portshore Hall."
Jeff frowned in puzzlement. "That's where the pool is."
Penny glanced over the letter. "It's Portshore Hall. Maybe they have a room there or something." She slumped against the bench. "They're going to expel me."
"They need to convict you first," said Jeff as he took the paper and began to read. With a smile he looked up. "It says here you're allowed council. Fortunately for you, you know a lawyer."
"Ex-lawyer," Penny reminded him
"Through extenuating circumstances not because of my practice. Don't worry, I can get you off." She gave Jeff an incredulous smirk.
"Seriously Jeff? A sex joke?"
"What joke?" he asked, raising his eyebrow in confusion although his eyes sparkled.
The waitress clapped a hand to her forehead. "I am such an idiot."
"We'll get through this," Jeff said seriously. Penny nodded her head although her eyes were on the ground. "Penny." She looked up. "Trust me. I'm good."
"I can't pay you," she said before a weak smile came to her face. "God now this is sounding like a cheap porno."
XxX
"How's it going?" asked Leonard as he looked at his roommate's handiwork.
"Satisfactory." Sheldon took up a wall piece from the Star Trek transporter pad and wiped it with a cloth in preparation for glue. "Three more pieces and we'll be able to 'energize' with the best of them."
The shorter man grabbed his bottled water and flopped into his stuffed chair. "It's kind of funny how mainstream media works. Once we announced the finding of the Higgs boson they've been wondering what we can do with it. NBC suggested it could one day lead to transporter technology." Sheldon snorted.
"Only if we heat up the Higgs field billions and billions of degrees—of course everything in the vicinity would be burnt to a crisp."
"Then there's that other question: how do you bring back into matter what you transformed into energy?" Leonard checked his watch. There was still fourteen minutes left until 'The Tick' came on. Normally he'd switch the television to one of the Galaxy music channels until it was time for his program but after having the unfortunate incident when the world music channel featured a whistling act he decided against causing any potential turmoil. Sheldon was in a good mood and there was no way Leonard wanted to disrupt him.
"Odd," said Sheldon as he cocked his head.
"What?"
"Penny's home. She has her Spanish study group tonight."
Leonard strained his ears until he picked up the sounds of footsteps in the stairwell and the jangling of keys. The sounds stopped in front of their door which, after a moment, opened.
"Hey," said Penny. Leonard raised an inquisitive eyebrow. She sounded 'off'.
"How are you?" he asked. He caught her eyes and could see she was distressed.
"Ah well, you know," she said with a waitress smile.
"Actually we don't," Sheldon said as he put the transporter wall into place and held. "You're home several hours early and you don't appear to be ill. Study Group cancelled?"
Penny adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. "No. There's no point in going to it anymore."
"Agreed. You can get more accurate help at home."
"I'm out of Spanish."
Sheldon glanced at his girlfriend. "After subjecting my home to complete contamination for extra credit? Penny," he tutted.
"What do you mean 'out'?" asked Leonard. "Did you drop out? Fail?"
"'Fail'," tsked Sheldon. "Really, Leonard." Slowly he removed his fingers. The wall held.
Penny closed her eyes and swallowed. This was really going to hurt.
"I was kicked out," she said quietly.
Leonard sat up. "Why?" he asked in astonishment.
"Because I"—here she paused as her eyes got caught up in the brilliant blue gaze of her boyfriend—"said I cheated." She looked away, embarrassed.
"Why would you do a thing like that?" Sheldon sputtered.
"I don't know," she sighed.
"Your marks were adequate given what little time you had to 'catch up'."
"Sheldon—"
His eyes narrowed. "You said you'd come to me if you needed assistance."
"And I did—"
"Obviously not," he said as he wiped his fingers with a cloth. "Otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to cheat."
"I didn't cheat, ok?" Penny snapped.
"Ok, back up here," said Leonard calmly. "Want to run that by us again? You admitted to cheating even though you didn't?"
"Yes."
"Are you insane?" Sheldon said excitedly. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"Señor Chang threatened to fail the entire class if the cheater didn't come forward," Penny shot back.
"Which could be easily overturned at the administrative level. When I first started I'd have loved to fail my students outright and get back to my work but I couldn't without 'valid reasons' to substantiate the mark." Sheldon stood up. "I don't see why you feel the need to martyr yourself."
"It's complicated," the waitress mumbled.
"I think I can handle it," Sheldon said crisply.
Again Penny sighed. "Look, I found out who cheated and knew they'd never be able to live it down so I thought 'what the hell' and took the fall. I've got a disciplinary tribunal on Monday. Jeff's offered to represent me and—"
"How did I guess he'd be involved," Sheldon spat.
"He didn't cheat."
"Indeed."
"Sheldon, this is the last thing I need right now," said Penny with a frown.
"What you 'need' is to go to the Dean on Monday and retract your confession, give up the guilty party and resume your class."
"I can't do that. Besides Jeff says he can get me off and—"
"I won't have you jeopardizing your future," Sheldon said hotly.
"So I start again," she spat back. "It's not like I've come oh so far up the ladder."
Sheldon was beside himself. "You don't get it do you? Academic dishonesty is attached to your personal record which is available to any other potential school. Once they see you got expelled for cheating they won't take you."
Penny looked to Leonard for confirmation.
"Most likely won't take you," he amended to soften the blow.
"I'll go with you on Monday to get things settled," said Sheldon. Penny pursed her lips.
"I don't need you holding my hand."
"Obviously some kind of guidance is in order given your propensity for self-harm."
"Don't call me stupid," she growled.
"You're misguided. There's a difference."
"Whatever, Sheldon." Penny exited and closed the door behind her before crossing the hall. Quickly she entered her apartment and dropped her schoolbag in front of her shelving unit and made her way to the bedroom. The last thing she needed was to be hounded by Sheldon's knocks.
XxX
"She's probably asleep and left the tv on," said Leonard as his pajama and housecoat clad roommate grabbed Penny's spare key from the bowl.
"It's late and she has an early shift tomorrow," Sheldon replied. "I have to make sure one bad decision doesn't compound into two."
"Ok. 'Night." Leonard took his glass of water and shuffled to his bedroom.
Sheldon crossed the hall to Penny's door.
Knock Knock Knock "Penny," he called softly.
Knock Knock Knock "Penny."
Knock Knock Knock "Penny."
Hearing no response he inserted the key into the lock.
"I'm coming in," he said and opened the door.
Immediately he took in the scene and his jaw locked. Quietly he closed the door and stepped to the couch where a housecoat clad Penny slept surrounded by a host of crumpled Kleenexes. Spotting the box, Sheldon pulled out a tissue to protect his hand and carefully collected the dirty ones and deposited them in the garbage by the door.
After washing up in the bathroom he set her alarm clock and took up her comforter, bringing the blanket to the couch and gently lay it across Penny's sleeping form. He shut off the television and took her mug from the coffee table and gave it a rinse before setting it in the sink. On his way out he grabbed the wine bottle off the table before turning off the lights and locking the door.
Once secure in his own apartment Sheldon poured out the remnants of wine and rinsed the bottle before inserting the cork and placing it in the recycling box.
He turned off the light and went to bed.
xTBBTx
"Hello Sheldon. This is a surprise."
"Hello Amy."
"Your tone suggests you're unhappy. Care to share the load?"
"I assume you've heard from Penny."
"Yes. Quite the pickle she's gotten herself into. I told her I concurred with your suggestion to address the Dean and rectify the situation."
"I don't know what got into her."
"Empathy. Apparently the culprit confessed to her and she feels compelled to protect him."
"'Him'?"
"Unnamed suspect although she did use the male pronoun repeatedly."
"It must be someone from her study group."
"Any suspects?"
"As Jeff assembled the group he'd be the likely candidate although Penny adamantly asserts it isn't him."
"I concur. Jeff might be conniving but I doubt he'd let Penny take the fall for him."
"Given his interest in her."
"You're aware."
"I was informed at the Halloween social. Had Penny said anything to you?"
"She's mentioned Jeff in passing. Believe me you've got nothing to worry about."
"Agreed. ... Amy, I'm not sure what to do if Penny's expelled."
"Explain."
"Going back to school is part of the plan for her returning to California. Without an academic outlet she'll be reduced to menial jobs for the foreseeable future. Such an outlook will most certainly impact her self esteem leading to destructive social behavior."
"Has she harmed herself in the past?"
"Not in so dramatic a fashion. Before you met her she was an extreme extrovert. Her apartment was a revolving door of strange men and she kept even stranger hours."
"Sounds like an attempt to mask feelings of worthlessness."
"I won't tolerate a return to a wanton lifestyle."
"Sheldon, no one's asking you— … Rajesh is here."
"Have a good evening."
"You've forgotten Penny has one thing now that she didn't have then—you. Goodnight Sheldon."
xTBBTx
"So when Dean Pelton says anything about you cheating you…." Jeff took a sip of coffee.
"Deny, deny, deny," sighed Penny. "I can't believe what a big deal this is."
"Academic honesty is its own virtue. Even at Pasadena City College, apparently."
Penny chuckled. "And as we know Jeff Winger follows the rules to the letter."
"And who's on trial here?" Jeff grinned. "I'm sure they have pots and kettles in Nebraska."
"Yeah, yeah." Penny took a sip of coffee before leaning back on the couch. "I noticed you never asked if I was guilty."
Jeff shrugged. "Irrelevant to the case. My job's to get you acquitted. I never let anything like guilt or innocence direct my defense."
A little smile crossed Penny's mouth. "Thank you for doing this."
"All part of my master plan," he said with a smirk causing Penny to roll her eyes. "Actually I figure I owe you one from Halloween." His eyes turned serious. "I shouldn't have teased you in front of your boyfriend. That was childish and insensitive. I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I know what I'm getting when you're around. I was just overwhelmed with work, school and the party." She gave a crooked smile. "Well at least if I'm expelled I'll have gone out on a high note on the social calendar."
"Positive thinking." Jeff cocked his head with a smirk. "Just do what you do when someone asks if you have feelings for me."
"Deny, deny, deny," Penny laughed.
Jeff smiled into his cup before taking a sip. It had taken him over an hour but he got what he wanted to hear—Penny laugh. From the moment he stepped in the door she was so apprehensive he had to calm her down before he could go over the proceedings. Slowly but surely the Penny he'd come to like had resurfaced.
In his day Jeff was a damn good lawyer whose cases were a lot more complex than this one.
He realized as he took in Penny's dark circles under her green eyes that he'd never had a case more important.
XxX
"Lift your drink," said Sheldon curtly.
Sighing, the curly haired physicist complied so his roommate could wipe the coffee table with an antibacterial cloth. Ever since Jeff arrived Sheldon had begun to clean the apartment even though the living room had been done the day before.
"Sheldon, I've already dusted. Remember I had to ask you to do the upper shelves of the bookcase for me?"
"Then why am I finding dust particulates in the air and on my cloth?"
Leonard shifted in his chair and clicked on the closed captioning for his program. "Probably because you're anal retentive and could find fault even if you lived in a Petrie dish."
A twitch crossed Sheldon's face. "All I ask is you clean with a better sense of professionalism than you do your job."
"Remind me why I drive you to work?" Leonard asked absently while reading the captioning.
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "It's in the Roommate Agreement. Good Lord it's not that complex a document." He walked behind the couch and began straightening the throw blanket. "Much like Penny's case. Simple." He adjusted the corners of the blanket. "Take no time at all to go over the details." Made sure it hung precisely ten inches over the back of the couch.
Leonard knew where this was going. "Sheldon, everything's fine."
"Then why is it taking so long?" the lanky man snapped. "Jeff has to submit a recanting of Penny's guilt not reopen the Constitution."
"I'm sure they're going over everything with a fine tooth comb." Sheldon snorted.
"Have you seen his hair? I doubt a comb's run through it in years. I don't know what I was thinking leaving all of this to an ex-lawyer whose idea of higher education is a community college degree," he said as he tossed out the wipe and proceeded to cleanse his hands with sanitizer.
"Probably something like: 'Staying out of this will keep me in Penny's good books'," mumbled Leonard, garnering him a glare.
"I'll check in on them to make sure they're focused," said Sheldon as he took a piece of paper off his desk and made for the door.
"Mistake," said Leonard.
"No, a mistake would be assuming a job's been done because it's important. Certainty is best."
As Sheldon entered the hall he could hear laughter from Penny's apartment. Frowning, the physicist stood in front of her door and listened as Jeff made a comment about Dean Pelton followed by more laughter.
Knock Knock Knock "Penny."
Knock Knock Knock "Penny."
Knock Knock Knock "Penny."
Inside the apartment Jeff looked at Penny with a bemused smile.
"Door's open Sheldon," said the waitress. Her boyfriend entered and immediately she took in his pursed lips as he stared at Jeff sitting in his spot on the couch. "What's up?"
"Oh, not much," he replied as he folded his arms across his chest. "I'm hoping the same can't be said in here."
"I think we've gone over everything," Jeff said calmly.
"You 'think'. Somehow I'm not comforted by that notion."
"Sheldon, be nice," Penny said stiffly. "Jeff's gone over what to expect on Monday and what I should say."
"I took the liberty of writing Penny's formal retraction which you may peruse," he said as he handed Jeff the paper.
"Thanks," the ex-lawyer said as he set the paper down on the table without looking at it, causing Sheldon's eye to twitch. "But the tribunal will get the gist of Penny's innocence at the hearing."
"I don't understand," frowned Sheldon. "Why would the hearing continue if Penny admits her confession was a lie and gives up the name of the true offender?"
Jeff turned to Penny. "You know who cheated?"
"Kinda," Penny said before turning to her boyfriend. "Look everything's fine. Just give—"
"Penny, he's supposed to be your 'learned council' and he doesn't even know the name of the culprit? What have you been doing in here besides indulging in chit-chat?" Sheldon said icily.
"We've been going over the case," Penny growled as she got off the couch. "I don't need you looking over my shoulder every two seconds."
"I just want you to be aware of the magnitude of—"
"I'm aware! I know I messed up! Just trust me on this ok?" She stepped up to the physicist.
Sheldon's mouth twitched. "I'd be more comfortable if I were your council."
"Sheldon, I've looked over the procedures and bylaws," said Jeff smoothly. "Trust me, I'll get Penny off."
"You'd better." Both men locked eyes.
"If you're done measuring each other's dicks I'd like to get back to business," said Penny. "I'll see you later, Sheldon." She stepped into his line of sight. "Later."
"I'd like to stay."
"You can't."
With a last glare at the ex-lawyer Sheldon exited and returned to his apartment.
"That wasn't so bad," he said as he closed the door. "I made sure the two of them were on track." He crossed the living room and ventured down the hall. "Now that that's settled I can continue with my day." He entered his room and closed the door.
"Mistake," Leonard said softly as he watched his program.
"So what if Penny and Jeff laugh while talking over her testimony for her hearing," Sheldon said to himself as he sat on his bed and regarded his shelving unit. "I'm sure they understand the direness of the situation and the consequences." He got up and adjusted the angle of the Star Trek transporter that sat next to his Flash figurine. "The case isn't complicated, even for an ex-lawyer." He turned the transporter to the other side. "Penny will be fine."
In one motion Sheldon picked up the transporter and smashed it against his far wall.
Leave Penny's future to Jeff Winger.
Like hell.
xTBBTx
"Let's convene with the tribunal," said Dean Pelton as he banged his gavel on the impressive looking table complete with three microphones. "For the record the tribunal consists of myself—Dean Pelton, Professor Duncan and Señor Chang."
"Once again I object to Señor Chang's place on the tribunal," said Jeff as he adjusted the sleeve on his Armani suit.
"Isn't Duncan your drinking buddy?" Chang retorted.
"Gentlemen," the Dean said smoothly. "If we could keep to the case at hand. I'd—oh hello."
As one the group turned to see Sheldon approach wearing his purple plaid suit and carrying a briefcase.
"What the hell?" gasped Señor Chang.
"Gentlemen, forgive my tardiness. I had to get directions to our—chambers," Sheldon said as he stepped carefully on the tile walkway so as to avoid the wetness from the pool water. At first he thought he'd been pranked by the secretary when she said the Dean was in the Portshore Hall and he saw that it was a swimming pool but after assurances at the administration desk that the Dean was, in fact, in the building Sheldon ventured into the swimming area and spotted Penny and company.
"And you are?" asked the Dean politely.
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Penny's co-council," he replied as he placed his briefcase on the defendant's table.
"She can't have two representatives," Señor Chang said.
"Actually from what I read in the school bylaw on the way over here it makes no mention of the number of council a defendant can employ," corrected Sheldon. Penny looked to Jeff.
"He's right," said the ex-lawyer. "Can we have a minute?" he asked the Dean.
"Sorry, we've already commenced. The case begins with the testimony of Señor Chang." As the man got up to go to the witness chair Sheldon stood up.
"Objection. How can a judge be the accusatory witness?"
"Already been over that," replied Jeff. "No dice."
"But this is prejudicial. How's Penny supposed to get a fair hearing?" Sheldon sputtered.
"Ahem. I assure you Dr. Cooper while there is bias on either side I'm impartial," said the Dean calmly. "Señor Chang, you may proceed."
The Spanish teacher cleared his throat. "It was a typical day. I got up at six thirty, had a shower and then made breakfast. I had two waffles—"
"Sheldon, what are you doing here?" Penny whispered as her boyfriend sat down beside her.
"Aiding in your defense," he whispered back.
"I don't need your help."
"I disagree. Now let me listen to the testimony."
Penny looked over to Jeff only to see the man doodling a picture of a dog peeing on a car tire. She closed her eyes and sat back in her chair. This can't be happening…. As time ticked by and Señor Chang kept talking she thought briefly about recanting her confession but knew she couldn't rat out Pierce. She was stuck and had to rely on Jeff and Sheldon to get her unstuck.
"—then I sent her from the room and continued my class," concluded the Spanish teacher.
"Questions?" asked the Dean. Jeff shook his head.
"You said you had two waffles for breakfast. Did you butter them?" Sheldon asked Señor Chang.
"Margarine actually," the teacher replied.
"I see. What's your brand?"
"I don't have one. I just choose whatever's on sale."
"What are you using right now?"
"…I don't know."
Sheldon shook his head. "And yet we're to assume your recall is correct a few hours later."
"What does what I eat have to do with anything?" Señor Chang blasted.
"You offered your morning routine into evidence so therefore it must be relevant to the case at hand," the physicist said evenly.
"Need I remind co-council that the witness is also a judge?" Jeff said as he sketched a brick wall.
"Given that his ability to recall is suspect it's a wonder he's been tapped to do two things at once," Sheldon said with a shake of the head as he sat down. At this Professor Duncan chuckled.
"If that's all from the accusatory I'd like to call Dr. Sheldon Cooper to the stand," said Jeff calmly.
Though a little surprised Sheldon complied and took a seat.
Jeff dropped his pen and stood up.
"For the record could you state your occupation?"
"I'm a senior particle physicist at Caltech."
"And how long have you known Penny?"
"Five years, six months, five days," Sheldon said matter-of-factly. Jeff made to stand in front of the defense table.
"And yet you only began dating her recently," he stated.
"Four months, twenty six days."
"Why the wait?"
"I hadn't realized until recently that our paradigm had shifted," replied Sheldon.
"It took you over five years to realize that Penny is a remarkable woman?" said Jeff in mock surprise.
Sheldon frowned. "We wouldn't have been friends if she wasn't."
"So your relationship is conditional."
"It's secure."
Jeff narrowed his eyes. "Do you love her?"
A pause. "I care for her deeply."
"Sounds like some wriggle room there," Jeff said with a smirk.
The Dean shook his head. "I fail to see the relevance."
"Goes to state of mind," said Jeff as he casually crossed his arms.
"Mine or yours?" growled Sheldon.
"I'm going to treat the witness as hostile," said Jeff.
"But he's your witness," said a confused Professor Duncan.
"Dr. Cooper," said Jeff as he began to pace. "Do you consider Penny to be an honest person?"
Sheldon paused as he thought about the WiFi situation. "For the most part."
"Sounds like guilt to me," snorted Señor Chang.
"Penny is straightforward," Sheldon retorted crisply.
Professor Duncan leaned forward in his chair. "But you do know of times when she's been dishonest."
"Objection," countered Jeff. "We all have times when we've been more than a little dishonest. For instance," he turned back to Sheldon. "Since you started your relationship have you ever lied to Penny?"
"No," the physicist said adamantly.
"Have you omitted things?"
"Jeff…." warned Penny.
The ex-lawyer stopped pacing. "When Penny told you she didn't cheat did you believe her?"
"Yes," Sheldon said firmly.
"Have you ever cheated?"
"Jeff!" snapped the waitress.
"No. In either connotation," Sheldon said with a glare.
Jeff stood calmly in thought as he regarded the lanky man who sat with hands balled into fists. "I call Penny to the stand." He waited as Sheldon and she traded places. "Penny, did you write and use that crib sheet?"
"No," she said firmly.
"But she confessed," hissed Señor Chang.
The ex-lawyer turned accusingly at his Spanish teacher. "Because you threatened to fail everyone in the class if someone didn't come forward."
"You didn't!" gasped the Dean. Señor Chang shrugged dismissively. The Dean raised his hands in a placating manner and took a breath. "So her confession, which she's now recanted by the way, comes as a result of coercion?" He shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to rule—"
"Well someone wrote that crib sheet," growled Señor Chang. He narrowed his eyes at Penny. "Do you know who?" The waitress looked away. "I said do you know?"
"Objection!" said Jeff even as Sheldon stood up with an "Irrelevant!"
"Penny," said the Dean gently. "We here at Pasadena City College are models of integrity. Let me remind you that you're under the oath."
"Objection. No one recited an oath," protested Sheldon. The Dean rolled his eyes.
"I meant she was under the oath." They all looked up to see the school crest and motto. "This school may not be Caltech but it is a place of higher learning and as such deserves to be respected."
Sheldon snorted. "We're convening in a swimming hall."
"Olympic-sized swimming hall," amended the Dean as he straightened in his seat.
"Oh yes much better. And while we're at it let's discuss budgetary issues in spin class and hold board meetings between pilates participants," the physicist said drolly.
Jeff cleared his throat. "Strike co-counsel's comment from the record. Obviously his Aspergers has impeded his ability to refrain from inappropriate commentary."
"Jeff!" Penny said angrily.
"My comments on this 'institution' are based on our current predicament," Sheldon said curtly. "As for your unsolicited diagnosis I suggest you keep your opinions to misapplying the law."
"As a psychologist I can diagnose your condition, Dr. Cooper," said Professor Duncan. "Granted it'd take a few sessions to determine but based on your verbosity and social awkwardness I'd say the chances—"
"I did it," Penny said in a rush.
The Dean turned to the waitress. "Hmm?"
"I cheated."
Jeff's gaze nearly bore a hole into Penny. "My client did not cheat."
"Yes I did," she said defiantly.
"Penny, while your attempt to deflect the conversation is commendable like your willingness to take the fall for a fellow classmate now is not the time to do so," Sheldon said sternly.
"Yes, back to the case at hand," said Dean Pelton. "As long as she comes forward with the name of the student I think we can wrap this up." All eyes were upon Penny.
"It was me," she said simply.
Jeff clapped his hands once. "Sounds like a good time for a recess."
"We don't have recesses at a tribunal," replied the Dean.
"I'm hoping in this case you'll make an exception. Obviously my client's cracking under pressure and is saying whatever she thinks people want to hear." He smiled at the waitress. "Dinner at my place?" Penny rolled her eyes.
"Objection!" said Sheldon with a heavy twang. "Co-council is courting my girlfriend."
"Dean, Penny's silence may be an indication that she knows the guilty party," Jeff said slowly. "Can you at least give me five minutes to see if I can get it out of her or at least make her see reason before she tanks her future?"
The Dean nodded. "Five minutes."
At once Jeff stepped forward and took Penny's arm, leading the waitress to the female locker room. After ushering her inside he turned to Sheldon and blocked the entrance.
"She's my client," he said brusquely.
"She's my girlfriend," Sheldon replied equally as blunt.
"Look, you might be a kick-ass physicist but I'm a lawyer. Was a lawyer. If you want to stoke your ego keep it up but if you truly want what's best for Penny you'll let me do my job."
Sheldon took a moment to think before he gave a curt nod. Jeff entered the change room.
"What are you doing in there?" he asked a pacing Penny.
"What am I doing in there? What are you doing cross examining Sheldon? And you're still hitting on me in front of him. What the hell, Jeff?"
He was stunned."Penny, I made the dinner joke because you were committing suicide and I needed you to snap out of it."
"And what about Sheldon?"
"He was killing my case and I needed him to shut up for a minute. Although it's interesting that he denied his condition." Penny made to speak. "I know, 'shut up Jeff'. Let's just cut to the chase here. At this point I don't give a crap whether you give me the name of the cheater or not. What I need you to know is that I think you're cool. You've taken my volleys and slammed them right back at me. You're fun. And sassy." Here he shrugged. "I just needed to see for myself that Sheldon knows how lucky he is to have you."
"Huh."
"What's huh? He knows, Penny."
The waitress sighed. "Even though I know better there's still a part of me that can't get over the fact that he likes me. When we met I made it sound like I was a hot-shot aspiring actress but let's face it I was a college drop out turned waitress who spent her time drinking and partying. I kept dreaming about caviar life when I couldn't afford to pay rent. All of my good friends are successes while I spent my time screwing up." She smiled wryly. "Obviously I'm still screwing up or we wouldn't be here."
"You don't owe Pierce anything," Jeff said seriously. Penny's eyes widened.
"How did you know?"
"I might not have a degree but that doesn't mean I'm not good at what I do and what I do is read people. The last time you had contact with the group was Halloween and Pierce's demeanor was less dynamic than normal."
"He just wants to be looked up to and liked."
"So what does this have to do with you?" asked a puzzled Jeff.
Penny's eyes took in her feet as she spoke. "He talked to me because he felt like he could and it made him feel less worthless and believe me I know what worthless feels like. I couldn't let him take the fall, Jeff, because I don't think he'd survive the landing." She shrugged. "Every instinct I have seems to put me further down the shitter but at the same time I couldn't imagine myself not doing what I do."
"Time's up," Sheldon said evenly as he rounded the corner. He held out his hand and Penny stood and took it.
"I can't sell him out," she warned Jeff.
"Trust me I don't need him," he replied.
They returned to the table and Penny smiled shyly at Sheldon while Jeff took his position in front.
"Gentlemen," he said in a clear voice. "My client admits to knowing who the cheater is but refuses to name him or her."
"You made her aware of the consequences?" warned the Dean.
"I have. And she made me aware of a few things too. Even though by admitting to the crime she faces expulsion she still took it upon herself to protect a fellow classmate. Why? She's got nothing to lose because she thinks she's a loser." Here Penny's jaw dropped.
"Objection!" she cried and turned to Sheldon for help.
"Overruled," he replied softly, his blue eyes taking in her shock. He stood up and addressed the tribunal.
"She's a twenty five year old community college dropout cum failed actress whose waitressing job barely pays the bills. As Penny pointed out to me it isn't like she's climbed 'oh so far up the ladder' so what does it matter if she fails again? In this instance she virtually guaranteed she will fail"— he looked at Señor Chang—"unless you show her that her decision to return to school wasn't a mistake and that she does deserve a second chance to redefine herself."
"Pasadena City College is by its very nature a second-chance institution," Jeff added. "How can we cast out someone whose heart's in the right place even though her mind's out to lunch?" He nodded his head towards Sheldon. "Look at Dr. Cooper here. Granted he's eccentric but he's also one of the top minds in physics. He studies the origins of the universe one particle at a time and yet he's dating a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory. Why? Because after spending years looking at quantum states he knows it isn't what she looks like or what she does that counts. It's Penny, herself, who's so amazing."
"Five years, six months and five days ago I met this woman at our building," Sheldon said clearly. "I admit to being intrigued by her appearance and was embarrassed when she caught me staring. Being as lovely as she was I expected her to laugh or to see ridicule in her eyes at my awkwardness but as I glanced at her face all I saw was kindness. It's Penny's openness to others that's at the heart of her beauty. Please don't make it her downfall."
"She's willing to take the fall to protect an insecure and terrified classmate who confided in her and bury her chances even further with the tribunal by confessing again in order to save her boyfriend public embarrassment," said Jeff. "Dean, you talked about wanting personal integrity at our school. Penny has that in spades. See the worth in her that she fails to see in herself."
Silence save the sound of lapping pool water.
"All in favor of an acquittal?" asked Dean Pelton. All three judges raised their hands and verbally agreed.
Penny's mouth opened in shock before she stood and hugged her boyfriend. Jeff had a satisfied grin as he watched the couple embrace. The physicist glanced over and the two men locked eyes, the look of relief evident on Sheldon's face.
Jeff gave him a wink and proceeded to pack his belongings.
"Pierce, what are you doing here?" asked Penny as he approached the table.
"I couldn't let you do this—"
"Without moral support," Jeff interjected as he indicated the Dean with his head. The older man made to speak. "Pierce, she won. She's back in class and the study group and everything's ok."
"Let's just forget all about this," Penny said as she crossed over to give her classmate a hug.
"I never will," Pierce whispered. "Thank you."
xTBBTx
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