Chapter 38
Yuffie was stunned when she trotted up to Seventh Heaven and saw a stranger outside the bar. Well, she knew he couldn't have been too much of a stranger. After all, he was playing trains with Marlene, and Marlene was like an alarm when there were strangers about. Yuffie gave a smile to the little girl, and a polite nod to the man in strange yellow and black clothing before heading inside the bar.
"Hey, Tifa," she greeted, sauntering across the floor to the counter and plopping herself down on one of the stools.
"Yuffie! What a surprise," Tifa smiled, wiping off the last area of the bar counter.
"Figured it was about time I stopped in for a visit," Yuffie grinned, glancing around at the bar which had remained identical to when she had last seen it—picture frames all over the walls, the counters and floors practically shimmering, they were so clean.
"Drink?" Tifa asked, tossing her cleaning rag aside and waving a hand toward the fridge.
"No, thanks," Yuffie replied, then she leaned in close across the counter. "So, who's the new babysitter outside?"
"Babysitter?" Tifa raised a brow, then she laughed as she realized to whom Yuffie was referring. "Oh, no, he's a friend of Cloud's."
"A friend?" Yuffie repeated, looking incredulous. "Or are we talking more-than-friend?" Tifa bobbed her head from side-to-side.
"That's not really for me to say," she replied.
"So, he is a more-than-friend?!" Yuffie asked, popping up from her seat. Tifa shook her hands rapidly.
"I never said that!"
"You don't have to say it!"
"Tifa?" Cloud said, coming down the stairs. He frowned when he saw the way Yuffie was smirking at him. He gave her a nod anyway as he came to lean against the bar counter. He went to speak again, but turned his head in Yuffie's direction when she refused to stop staring at him with that ridiculous look on her face.
"What?" he asked.
"New man, huh?" Yuffie grinned, devillishly. Cloud's mouth popped open into the perfect o shape, then it snapped closed again. His brows twitched as he turned toward Tifa.
"Did you say something?" he asked.
"I didn't try to. She sort of just guessed," Tifa said, innocently.
"That's one fine piece of man candy you got there. Tell me, Cloud, where can I get one of those?" Yuffie teased, placing her elbows on the counter and resting her chin in her palms. She stared at Cloud, eyelids fluttering dreamily.
"Stop that," he muttered, rolling his eyes and trying his best to ignore her. "Tifa, I need a favour. Can I talk to you for a minute? Privately," he added, when Yuffie popped her head up, her interest obviously piqued.
"Sure," Tifa nodded, following Cloud upstairs. Yuffie sulked for a few seconds after being left alone, then she made her way to the window, and peeked out to get another good look at the Zanarkand boy.
She couldn't help but grin as she gazed upon him, as she identified exactly what Cloud's type was. With his bright clothes and beaming smile, he appeared the polar opposite of the stoic man Yuffie had become close friends with. Maybe that was what made it work between them, but Yuffie wasn't about to go on that assumption alone.
With no fear nor reservations whatsoever, she practically skipped outside. The door closed loudly behind her, alerting Tidus and Marlene immediately to her presence, and they turned their heads toward her from their position in the alley. They were situated in the middle of the concrete, using the cracks in the pavement as tiny tracks for Marlene's toy trains.
"Hiya!" Yuffie greeted, voice so loud and cheerful that it even made Tidus doubt his own optimistic talents. He raised his brows slightly, and Yuffie couldn't decide if he looked more confused or nervous. She soon decided she didn't care, and descended the few small steps from the bar.
"Hi," Tidus eventually greeted.
Marlene smiled and silently waved to the girl, and Tidus was glad to see he wasn't the only one who couldn't get many words out of Marlene when they were alone. It seemed to work okay, though. Tidus talked enough for the both of them, and he could make Marlene laugh pretty easily. They could still play some games together, thanks to Marlene's pointing and motioning for what she wanted Tidus to do, and Tidus enjoyed feeling like he was gaining her trust.
But the thought he enjoyed even more was that he might someday become a part of the Seventh Heaven family, with Cloud, and Marlene, and Tifa. Yes, a family. That didn't sound so bad. It had been a long time since he'd had one of those.
"I'm Yuffie. One of Cloud and Tifa's friends. Guess you heard all about our 'long, tiring, and sometimes even kinda boring' journey," Yuffie said, placing her hands on her hips as her eyes flickered between Tidus and the bright green train that Marlene was dragging along the pavement cracks.
"Um, yup. I know about that. Some of it, at least," Tidus nodded, head falling sideways as he finished his sentence.
"Uh-huh... Mm-hmm..." Yuffie analyzed him intently like she was sizing him up, deciding if he deserved to be here or not. After a minute of brow-scrunching and harsh staring, she knelt down right in front of him. Tidus pulled his head back quickly, as her face was way too close for comfort.
"So, what are your intentions with my Cloud?" she asked, her bottom lip pressing firmly against her top one.
"Y-your Cloud?" Tidus stuttered. He felt like his pupils must have looked huge, his eyes had grown so wide. He inched back on his heels, just to put a bit more distance between himself and the strange girl.
"Well, Cloud's my friend. I just want to make sure you're good enough for him. That means no heart-breaking, life-taking—"
"Life-taking?! Are you crazy?" Tidus' eyelids had flew open even more, and he hadn't even thought that was possible.
"I think the question is, are you crazy? You had better not be a murderer or something," Yuffie warned, leaning her head forward again, right into Tidus' personal bubble. He fell backwards onto his rear, and muttered an 'oof' as he hit the ground.
"I'm not any of those things!" Tidus assured her, waving his hands in surrender. "I just... I care about Cloud. And I really hope you don't scare me away from him," he added, scooting back just a little more.
"Yuffie!" came Cloud's voice from the step, much to Tidus' relief.
Tidus looked to the door of the bar to see his spiky-haired pal standing there. Cloud quickly descended the stairs two at a time, thanks to his long legs. Yuffie stood immediately, and mustered her most innocent expression.
"Yes, boss!" she answered, saluting the Ex-SOLDIER. He rolled his eyes at her for the second time that day, and swatted her hand down.
"You'd better not be interrogating him," he warned.
Yuffie shook her head, while Tidus nodded vigorously in the background. Cloud's eyes went to his partner's, and he held back a smirk at the sight of Tidus' disturbed expression.
"'Interrogate' is such a strong word, Cloud," Yuffie shrugged, making Cloud's eyebrows twitch.
"Anyway, go talk to Tifa. She has something planned for you for tonight," Cloud instructed.
"Alrightie," Yuffie said, sceptically. "But don't think this is over, mister," she added in a whisper, pointing to her eyes and then pointing at Tidus, her fingers fixed in a V shape. Tidus shuddered at her stalker-like presence.
Once Yuffie had entered the bar, and the door fell shut behind her, Cloud breathed a sigh and knelt down with two of his favourite people. Marlene immediately smiled, and handed Cloud a royal-blue train to play with. Cloud thanked her quietly, and rolled it along the ground as his eyes returned to Tidus. Tidus still looked a little stunned.
"Your friend is scary."
"Give it time. I think you guys will hit it off before long. You're not all that different," Cloud smiled. There was audible amusement in his voice that Tidus couldn't help but be thankful for; it was still such a sweet sound to his ears.
"So, the girls have plans tonight, huh?" Tidus asked. Marlene noticed Tidus becoming distracted, and she placed a hand on his, guiding it forward and reminding him to keep driving his little locomotive.
"Actually, I arranged for you to go with them. They're going to the theatre, and I think you'd like it, too."
"Oh. Y-you're not going? I thought you had a few days off," Tidus said, trying to hide his disappointment, but his voice hadn't cloaked it well. Cloud shrugged his shoulders and gave him an apologetic look.
"Sorry, something came up. I have an urgent delivery in Kalm tonight," Cloud fibbed. "It's not that far, but I'd miss the beginning of the play, and..."
"No, it's okay. I'll still go. I like seeing the city." This time when he'd spoken, Tidus had mustered more enthusiasm, even though it was slightly forced.
"Good. So, we'll have supper together, and then you'll head out," Cloud said, giving Tidus a pat on the shoulder and setting his blue train down on the ground again.
He felt Tidus' gaze follow him as he stood up, and he affectionately ruffled Tidus' sandy blond hair, in a manner not unlike the one Zack used to use with him. It felt good to pass the gesture along in that way.
"Cloud? I know what you're doing," Tidus smiled, softly. Cloud shifted an eyebrow upward in question, heart sinking into his stomach. Did Tidus really know what he was up to? How could he?
"Y-you do?" Cloud stuttered, somehow still managing to play it cool.
"Yeah. I know you're trying to keep me entertained even when you're not around, so... thanks." Cloud relaxed, and his smile deepened as his fingers slipped through dark blond strands again.
"Don't thank me just yet," he said, as he headed for the house, and Tidus spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what he meant.
Everything was perfect. As planned, Tifa, Tidus, Yuffie, and Marlene were out for the evening, leaving Cloud with the house to himself. That was his chance to find the supplies he needed, to tidy his room until he was satisfied, and to assure himself that he was ready for what the night had in store for him. Cloud was ready long before Tifa dropped Tidus back off at the bar, and during that time, he sat on his bed, mentally preparing himself.
Cloud took a minute to relive his favourite moments with Tidus. He remembered their training session together, when he had fallen atop Tidus in front of their friends, and had frozen there, just staring into his eyes. He pictured his first kiss with Tidus, how new and exciting it had been, how warm he had felt. He thought back to when Tidus had fought Jecht for the first time, to how he had treated Tidus' painful, bruised body with his impulsive, passionate kisses. He remembered falling into Chaos' trap, and tumbling down along with the crumbling ground. He remembered how Tidus had rescued him from drowning that night, and how Tidus had saved him from bleeding to death. He could recall the night before their final battle, how they had kissed, and touched, and cried together.
Now, Cloud yearned for more. So much more. He wanted to experience everything he could with Tidus, to make the most of the time they had. Love, sex... Maybe even marriage someday. And if Zack wanted those things for him, too, and Zack was watching over him and Tidus, keeping them safe, then why should he hold himself back any longer? What stood in his way? In this moment, there was absolutely nothing. Cloud knew this was where he wanted to be, where he was supposed to be. Tidus had made it back to this world with him for a reason. They belonged together.
Lights flashed in Cloud's window, and Cloud jumped up from the bed when he realized it was probably Tifa driving in. Any second, she would be dropping Tidus off here, and Tidus would be wanting an explanation as to why she and the girls weren't following him in. Cloud rushed around the room, lighter in hand. He was ready, and he hoped all would go smoothly, but right now, he was confident it would.
Cloud jumped as he heard the door close.
"Cloud?" Tidus called from downstairs. Cloud finished with the surrounding candles, and stuffed the lighter into his drawer.
"Upstairs," he called back, smoothing out his shirt a little, and running a hand through his hair to tidy it.
"Cloud?" Tidus asked again, as he appeared in the doorway. His jaw immediately dropped a good three inches, and remained there as he scanned the room, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.
The checkered curtains of Cloud's room were drawn, the top of the bed covers were unturned, and cream-colored candles of different shapes and sizes were dispersed around the room. Some sat upon dressers, others lined the now tidy desk and beside table. The last one Cloud held in his hands. Cloud gazed into its flame, its glow illuminating his slightly flushed cheeks.
"Welcome home," Cloud said, softly, his eyes meeting Tidus' briefly as he spoke.
"Um... thanks," Tidus replied with a nervous smile, a hand instinctively going to rub the back of his head. "What's all this about?"
Tidus fell silent when he felt Cloud reach for his hand, and he allowed him to take it to help hold the candle. Tidus watched Cloud's face carefully, hoping to pick up on some tiny facial feature that might give him a clue as to what was going on, but with Cloud's eyes fixed on the candle, Tidus couldn't read him.
"Do you see this light?" Cloud asked.
"Yeah," Tidus replied, though the inflection in his voice made it sound more like a question.
"It sure keeps away the darkness, doesn't it?"
"Um, yeah." Tidus chuckled, lightly. "Cloud, have you been drinking again?"
"What?" Cloud asked, brows raised. "No. Just listen."
Tidus nodded, and regained focus. The tone in Cloud's voice was so serious. The uncertainty of the situation made Tidus' heart pound.
"Tidus, you're my light. For months now, you've fought off my darkness. The truth is, I need you here," Cloud announced, his gaze moving up to meet his partner's.
Tidus' expression was soft, almost sad, and Cloud had to try hard to muster up the courage to speak on.
"For a long time, I was confused about what I wanted. You made me feel so many good things that I can't even begin to explain, but I was scared of what would happen if I let you in. I was scared of hurting you, of losing you... of losing parts of myself."
"Cloud..." Tidus cooed when it seemed the other blond was suddenly lost for words.
Tidus caressed Cloud's fingers with his own as they held the candle together. Cloud's eyes wandered back to the flame and remained there for a long moment. Tidus watched him oh so carefully now. He expected to see emotion rising into Cloud's features, but for the first time, Cloud's expression remained strong.
"Whatever this is about... I'm here," Tidus promised him, raising his free hand to rest on Cloud's shoulder. The corners of Cloud's lips turned upwards the slightest amount, and Cloud closed his eyes as a soft chuckle emerged from his throat.
"I know that," he said, with a nod. "And that's why I don't want to let you go. Not ever."
"What do you mean?"
"From now on, I'm gonna do whatever I can to make this work. No manikin nor memory is gonna keep me from you anymore. Tidus, I love you," Cloud admitted, and he smiled when he saw Tidus' expression soften with a look of surprise.
A gentle smile flooded its way onto Tidus' face, his heart fluttering with disbelief. He felt like he was flying, like he was too happy to fully comprehend those words. Cloud had said them before, but never like that. Never with that tone in his voice, never in circumstances like these; it was like those words had a whole new meaning, and Tidus had to figure them out.
Tidus hardly had time to dwell on those words, however, when Cloud removed the candle from their grasp and set it aside with the others on the dresser. Tidus' eyes fluttered closed as Cloud's lips met his own, so familiar and yet so new at the same time. He knew them, but something felt different. Tidus could feel in his heart that something was about to change.
He felt Cloud's hand on his lower back, and he took that as an invitation to return the favour. One of his hands came to rest on Cloud's waist while the other wandered into the curve of his spine. When Cloud broke the kiss, Tidus simply stared at him a moment, then smiled and delicately brushed a strand of golden hair out of Cloud's face.
"I love you, too," Tidus whispered. Cloud flashed him another small smile before leaning back in for another kiss. This time, Tidus could feel Cloud gently pulling him toward the bed, and Cloud tugged on his shirt to get him to sit down on the edge of the bed with him. Tidus did so happily.
"Tidus?" Cloud breathed, as they parted.
"Yeah?" Tidus asked, his eyes drifting slowly open.
"Remember when I told you about that resort, Costa del Sol?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I made arrangements for you and I to go over there and try to promote the idea of Blitzball. I mean, I can't guarantee that it'll catch on here, but we can give it a try," Cloud said. Tidus frowned.
"Blitzball? Why would you do that?"
"Because I want you to feel at home here. No matter what it takes," Cloud promised. Tidus' mouth curved into a smile, and he leaned in to embrace his companion.
"Wow, that... That means a lot," he whispered. Cloud smiled, and nuzzled his head in against Tidus' neck.
"But, you know," Tidus continued. "I already am home. I'm with you, aren't I?" Cloud lowered his head as a chuckle escaped him.
"And I thought I was the one being sappy."
"Oh, hey, come on! I was being serious!" Tidus gave Cloud's shoulder a playful nudge before they fell back into their embrace, their heads resting on each other's shoulders, and their grins lingering.
They stayed like that for a long time. Tidus could feel Cloud's fingertips gently stroking the nape of his neck. He smiled wider and tightened his grasp on his lover, letting him know that this moment meant something to him, too.
"Tidus?" Cloud eventually asked, his voice low and soft.
"Yeah?" Tidus asked, turning his head a little to kiss some strands of blond hair that fell in front of Cloud's ear.
"I'm ready to do this... if you are," Cloud replied slowly, in hopes that he would be understood.
Tidus pulled away enough so that he could look into Cloud's eyes. He was afraid he would find uncertainty in those eyes, but as he looked in them now, he saw nothing but strength and honesty. He had no idea where his sad, uncertain Cloud had gone, but he couldn't deny he liked what he was seeing.
"I'm ready, but Cloud, are you sure? If you think you're going to have regrets, you should wait," Tidus said, rushing his words as his nerves began to creep up on him.
"Tidus. I'm ready. I don't know if I've ever been more certain of anything." Cloud watched Tidus' expression carefully as it went from a long, worried frown to a look of understanding.
"Okay. But if you don't mind my asking, what changed?" Tidus asked, tilting his head to the side.
"I guess I did," Cloud said, after a moment's thought. "I guess I realized that letting go doesn't have to be a bad thing." Tidus watched him for a minute, then nodded in response as a small smile took over.
Cloud pressed another kiss to Tidus' lips, and moved his hands to the zipper of his own shirt. Tidus frowned in curiosity as they parted, confused by Cloud's actions. Cloud was tugging his uniform open, his bare chest appearing little by little.
"Cloud, what are you doing?" Tidus asked. Cloud gave but a simple response.
"Letting my guard down."
Tidus pondered that reply for a second or two, then he nodded, and met Cloud's lips again.
"Let me... help you with that," he whispered, in between breathy kisses.
His hands quickly found Cloud's, and together they undid his shirt zipper the rest of the way. Tidus slipped a hand under the material that still covered Cloud's chest, his hand caressing him gently. He moved his face in against Cloud's neck, warming him with his breath as he lifted the garment off of Cloud's cold right shoulder. His hands moved to the left now, and worked to free Cloud of the shirt completely. Cloud shivered as the room's chilly temperature found his newly exposed skin, but he simply wrapped his arms around Tidus' back, holding his warmth against him for a few seconds before he began tugging at his garments, too.
Tidus' shirt joined Cloud's on the floor in no time, and lips met again hastily as Cloud pushed Tidus to lie down on the bed below him. Tidus mewled contentedly as Cloud fondled his bottom lip between his own, and as Cloud's hands found the zipper of his shorts. Tidus' fingers wandered to the back of Cloud's neck, and nestled there, gently stroking him while his shorts were removed.
Cloud let out a surprised grunt when he felt Tidus' other hand at his waist, undoing his trousers, but he didn't stop it; he didn't want to. With small, gentle movements, they continued to undress each other. One by one, articles of clothing were tossed onto the floor.
They slunk under the bed covers that Cloud had unturned before Tidus had even entered the room. Now naked, and a little cold, they moved into each other's warmth, their chests pressing together and their legs weaving in between one another's. Their arms found their way to each other's backs, and once again their lips met, this time with a fiercer hunger. Their hips began to move against each other's, and although it felt good, it wasn't the way they wanted to obtain their pleasure tonight, and excitement was building faster than they had anticipated.
It was clear—even without saying a word—that the position wasn't right for them, and they were rapidly becoming eager to try something else. Cloud untangled himself from Tidus' body and sat up. When Tidus looked a little offended, Cloud silently coaxed him to sit up as well. The next thing Tidus knew, Cloud had taken his hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed each finger individually before slipping them into his mouth, letting Tidus know in the subtlest of ways that he could be the dominant one this time. He'd learned from their last few encounters like this that Tidus had wanted it that way, and quite honestly, Cloud didn't care one way or another.
Thankfully for Cloud, Tidus understood what those actions meant. The way Cloud was suckling at his fingers ever so delicately, the way he was thoroughly coating them—Cloud wanted him to prepare him for what was next.
Finally, Cloud removed Tidus' fingers from his mouth, and lay down on the bed beneath him. He spread his legs, waiting for Tidus to proceed, but to his surprise, Tidus was the one who seemed nervous. He held his wet fingers out to the side, like he wasn't quite sure what to do with them, though Cloud doubted that was the case.
"It's okay," Cloud assured him. Tidus took comfort in the fact that Cloud looked at ease, and so he moved forward. He was glad they were still mostly concealed by the bed blankets because, to be honest, he felt pretty awkward about what he was about to do, so much so that he was making Cloud a little nervous.
"Y-you do know what to do, right?" Cloud asked, a tiny, uncertain smile on his face. That smile was replaced with a serious look when Tidus brought his fingers firmly to his entrance. Cloud closed his eyes at the sudden pressure.
"Yep," Tidus nodded. "I just... want to get this right. So, you okay? You ready?"
"Yeah."
Tidus felt Cloud tense up as he circled his entrance, but he managed to push two fingers inside. Cloud's eyes were tightly closed, and Tidus prayed he wasn't hurting him. He pushed a little further, then pulled back slightly. He spoke up with a desire to lessen Cloud's tension.
"Have you ever done this before?" he asked, gently. Cloud's eyes fluttered open in surprise, and he managed a half-smile, thankful for Tidus' efforts to distract him from the slight discomfort.
"Once. With Zack. You?"
"Once," Tidus replied, adding a third finger. "With Yuna." He pushed in again, but Cloud hardly flinched this time.
"So, we shouldn't make complete fools of ourselves?" Cloud teased, though his voice remained a little strained.
"Hopefully not," Tidus chuckled.
Tidus continued to move his fingers inside Cloud's body as painlessly as he could. Cloud's eyes were now locked with his own, and he hoped the tender look in his eyes was enough to assure Cloud that his every move was made with love and care. Tidus was sure Cloud knew that when Cloud's arms wrapped around his neck, and held him close. Tidus felt so proud, and so loved in that moment with Cloud's hands curled around his neck and his fingers pressed between his shoulders—he knew by the way that Cloud was clutching him that he was wanted, that he was needed, and for the first time, he knew Cloud was looking forward to the act ahead just as much as he was.
It took Tidus a few minutes to get Cloud prepared, but after a few minutes of slow, patient movements and locked gazes, Tidus felt Cloud loosen up. Cloud was staring softly up at Tidus now, and Tidus smiled as he pressed a lingering kiss to Cloud's forehead. Cloud released a satisfied sigh as Tidus trailed kisses down to the tip of his nose, then his lips.
Tidus figured he'd might as well make a few more important stops before they truly began; it only seemed right to hit some of Cloud's favourite places first, to make Cloud feel as good as possible with those tiny actions that only Tidus knew he adored. Cloud released some gratifying noises as Tidus nuzzled his earlobe, suckled at his collarbone, licked at his navel. Meanwhile, his fingers pulsed gently inside Cloud a few more times. Cloud was definitely appreciative of his efforts, but he was ready for more.
As Tidus kissed his way down Cloud's lower abdomen, Cloud tugged open the drawer of his nightstand. Tidus glanced over as Cloud rooted through the drawer, but his lips never left Cloud's body.
"You... have everything?" Tidus asked, still smearing his kisses all over Cloud's waist.
"Yeah. It's your stuff, actually," Cloud chuckled, lightly, making Tidus perk his head up.
Tidus glanced in the drawer to see what Cloud was talking about. He was both relieved and surprised when Cloud motioned to the supplies he'd gotten from Zidane the night before the battle with Chaos. Tidus could see a few of his other belongings in the drawer as well. Some gil, a half-consumed potion, a few materia. Obviously, Cloud had salvaged the stuff from his knapsack and pockets before Tifa had taken his outfit for cleaning.
"Your sword is in the closet in the guest room, too. I don't know if I remembered to tell you that," Cloud said, rushing his words nervously.
"Cloud," Tidus whispered, pressing a kiss to Cloud's lips in hopes of easing his nerves. He felt Cloud relax a little beneath him, even as he eased his fingers out from within him. "It's okay."
"I know," Cloud nodded, mustering a sincere smile. This time, Tidus' hand reached into the drawer, and gathered the items they'd be needing. Lips met again, and Cloud's arms weaved around Tidus' neck again as Tidus worked to tear open a condom package. Cloud eyed it, and an amused smirk made his way to his face.
"Let me see that," Cloud said, momentarily tugging the package out of Tidus' hands and reading the print carefully. "'Made in Lindblum?' Did you get this from Zidane?"
"Oh, hehe, yeah," Tidus blushed. "Our last night there, I-I didn't know if we might—"
"You don't need to be embarrassed," Cloud smiled, gently, noticing his unease. "I just hope you didn't steal his entire stock, poor guy," he chuckled, eyeing the drawer which still contained another packet or two.
"Oh, don't worry," Tidus shook his head, his eyes growing unusually big. "He doesn't travel light when it comes to these things." Cloud laughed heartily before meeting Tidus' lips again, and Tidus smiled at the sound of it, glad that the quip had made Cloud relax even more. Too bad it hadn't worked on both of them.
With his arms around him, Cloud could feel how shaky Tidus was. He broke the kiss, and glanced down to see Tidus' trembling fingers. Tidus tossed the open condom packet aside on the dresser before timidly meeting Cloud's concerned gaze.
"I shouldn't be this nervous, should I?" Tidus half-smiled. Cloud squeezed the back of his neck affectionately.
"It's our first time together. I'm nervous, too," Cloud said, honestly, giving Tidus a reassuring nod. Tidus nodded back, and Cloud sat up, getting to his knees before beginning to kiss Tidus again.
Tidus closed his eyes as Cloud kissed his way down his jaw, then ran a tongue down his neck before travelling back up to his lips. Cloud felt his partner shiver at the contact, and it wasn't long before he felt Tidus' hands between them. He was reaching for himself. Of course, it should have been expected. He'd done his job to get Cloud ready, but...
Tidus released tiny, muffled moans against Cloud's lips as he stroked himself, trying his best to prepare himself for what was ahead. He was pleasantly surprised when he felt Cloud's hands on his own, prying them away.
"Let me," Cloud whispered.
Tidus let his shaky hands fall away, and instead wrapped his arms around Cloud's back as Cloud continued to fondle him. Tidus had to pull away from their kiss as he found himself growing short of breath; Cloud's battle-worn hands were a little rough against the sensitive skin, but his movements were so careful and well-timed that Tidus felt a little lightheaded from the satisfaction.
Tidus tried to steady his breathing as Cloud kissed down his neck again, and onto his chest. Cloud ran his tongue along Tidus' salty skin as his hands continued to work. He let go when he felt Tidus stiffening; he didn't want to go too far just yet.
"Will you lie down for me?" Cloud whispered.
Tidus didn't know why he was being asked such a thing, but he wasn't about to object. He lay down, and within seconds, Cloud was hovering over him, smothering him with some more well-deserved kisses. His lips were becoming hot and sticky from their intermixing breaths, but everything felt so good, he didn't ever want to pull away.
"I love you," Tidus exhaled against Cloud's mouth.
"I love you, too," Cloud assured him. Tidus' hands found their way to his hair as he kissed his way down to his chest. Lips met the cold metal of the chain that hung from Tidus' neck—the Zanarkand Abes symbol—but to Cloud's surprise, Tidus simply reached for that last reminder of home, unclasped it, and set it aside on the nightstand. Maybe he really didn't feel the need to cling to home anymore, maybe he wasn't lonely for the worlds he had left behind. Maybe it was true that Cloud was his home.
Cloud frowned, silently asking Tidus if he was sure about his decision to take off that important piece of jewelry. He couldn't recall ever seeing him without it before.
"I don't need it," Tidus told him with a smile, firmly believing that taking it off didn't mean he would lose himself, or his identity. Cloud smiled back, and pressed a kiss to Tidus' forehead.
"I won't let you disappear," he promised.
"Or forget who I am? Where I came from?" Tidus playfully asked.
"I won't let you forget," Cloud promised, his voice far more serious. His lips reached Tidus' chest again. His fingers rubbed circles along his abdomen.
"You're Tidus. The boy who grew up in Zanarkand, the city that never sleeps," Cloud began, his lips leaving Tidus' skin only long enough to speak his words.
"Warm like the sun, eyes like an ocean."
"Cloud?" Cloud immediately raised his head at the sound of his name, his expression both curious and a little worried.
"You okay?"
"Even if the fayth stopped dreaming... Or, even if Spira was tugging me back home..." Tidus smiled. "I don't think you'd let me disappear."
Cloud smiled back. He knew now why Tidus felt truly naked without that reminder of home clinging to his neck; Tidus felt it was his way of remaining here in the world of the living, preventing him from becoming a memory from a thousand years ago. It only made Cloud more convinced that Tidus trusted him—trusted him enough to let down his guard, just as Cloud had.
"You're right, I wouldn't. You're safe with me. You're real," Cloud smiled.
He felt Tidus settle beneath him, and he brought his attention back to relishing him. Cloud brought his lips to Tidus' left shoulder, and brushed them softly over the scar there, then trailed them down to Tidus' chest again. A soft noise escaped Tidus' throat as Cloud ran his tongue over his nipple, then took it into his mouth, suckling gently. Once he'd earned another noise or two, he raised his head to take in Tidus' face. His cheeks were a little flushed now, but he mustered a serene smile.
Tidus coaxed Cloud back to him with a gentle squeeze at the back of his neck. Their lips met again, and Cloud lowered his hips against Tidus', rolling them back and forth slightly. Tidus moaned, his back arching as his body tried to get as close to Cloud's as it could. Cloud eased his hands under Tidus' back, and held him close as their bodies moved together, their lips melting against one another's.
"Cloud?" Tidus murmured, after a few moments of Cloud's pleasant rhythm.
"Mm?"
"I think... I'm ready," Tidus spoke up. Cloud nodded against his lips; he could feel their heat pulsing between their thighs. Yes, they were both ready now.
"Me, too," Cloud whispered. He stopped moving his hips, and sat back up, pulling Tidus with him, arms around his neck. Tidus was still swarmed with sweet kisses as he reached for the condom again, and slipped it on. Then he reached for the lubricant bottle still standing on the dresser, and coated his sex with some of its contents.
Now, Cloud ceased his kisses, and pulled his face back just far enough that they could meet each other's eyes. Confident gazes were exchanged, and Tidus released a soft smile as he raised a hand. He captured Cloud's within his own, and laced their fingers together, then lowered them slowly, gently down to the bed.
Cloud's lips curled upwards as Tidus brought their linked hands to his mouth, and tenderly kissed Cloud's palm. Tidus watched his partner's expression oh so carefully as he moved forward, and he felt Cloud bring his legs up. Knees brushed against Tidus' sides, making the experience really settle in Tidus' brain, making it all the more real. They were really going to do this. But even though Cloud appeared ready, somehow, Tidus detected something within his eyes. A look of unease. Something wasn't right.
"What is it?" Tidus asked, worry written all over his face. "What's wrong?"
"Maybe... the position is wrong," Cloud said, quietly, looking a little ashamed.
"Okay?" Tidus said, waiting for Cloud to suggest something else. Cloud was still for a moment, looking like he was deep in thought, then he brought his lips to Tidus' once more, kissing him as he manoeuvred Tidus to the bed below him. Tidus leaned his head and upper back against the headboard, understanding what Cloud had in mind.
Cloud looked into Tidus' sea blue eyes and searched for all the trust he had ever placed in him. He quickly found it, and with it, found his courage. Tidus swiftly captured his lips as he hoisted him up, and Cloud's legs swung to rest on either side of his waist. Tidus lined them up and lowered him, and Cloud tossed his head back as their bodies connected. Tidus' breath hitched, but he quickly forced himself to relax, knowing it would make their joining more comfortable for Cloud, and hoping Cloud would relax along with him.
They looked in each other's eyes once more, finding all that trust, love, and patience that they needed to continue. Tidus kept himself very still as he leaned in to meet Cloud's lips in some slow, gentle kisses as they allowed their bodies to sink into the new connection. Cloud smiled at the contact and was grateful that Tidus was allowing him to take things slow. When their lips parted this time, they gave each other gentle nods, indicating they were ready to continue.
Tidus raised his hands, and let his fingers trickle down Cloud's sides before coming to rest at his waist. Cloud leaned over to meet Tidus' lips as he raised himself up for the first time, then slowly lowered himself back down. He could feel Tidus' muscles twitching below him, and he knew that everything they were about to do would feel incredible. Tidus met Cloud's lips eagerly as Cloud lifted himself up again, then forced himself back down a little harder this time. They both released a small whimper, and they paused for a moment, looking into each other's eyes once more. One glance was all they needed to know that everything was okay.
Cloud found it hard to believe that they were here in this moment, but it was that feeling of incredulity that made Cloud strive for perfection. Cloud loved Tidus, and he had to make sure in every move, kiss, and touch that Tidus knew that. Cloud had spent far too much time doubting Tidus' intentions, and even more time trying to keep himself away when Tidus was trying to work his way into his life. Now Tidus was here with him, and Cloud knew he couldn't lose him like he'd lost so many other things. No, he would keep Tidus as close as he could in hopes that they would last a lifetime.
It didn't take long for Cloud to break into a good rhythm, his body rising and falling in conjunction with Tidus'. Tidus was mesmerized by the way Cloud moved, the way he filled him with such a fierce energy with each small motion. Tidus watched Cloud's face each time he lowered himself, his eyes closing a little tighter, and his features twitching each time he drove Tidus just a little further inside himself. Tidus knew this wouldn't last nearly as long as he would like, but that only made him determined to memorize every detail about this night, about the way they were making each other feel.
"Are you doing okay?" Cloud asked, easing off his motions while they caught their breath.
"Yeah, you?" Tidus asked, face flushed.
"Yeah, but maybe now we could..." Again, Tidus understood what he meant. Cloud's forehead was glistening with a light sweat. His thighs were twitching with slight fatigue.
"Here," Tidus coaxed, gently. He captured Cloud's lips again, and eased Cloud's arms around his neck.
"Hang on, okay?" Tidus said, causing Cloud some confusion, but when he felt Tidus' arms holding him in place, he understood.
With slow movements, and utmost caution, Tidus moved Cloud to the bed beneath him, never breaking the connection between them. Cloud panted a little, obviously tired from the work he'd already done. He eagerly laced his fingers with Tidus' once more when he felt Tidus reaching for his hand, and he wrapped his legs around Tidus' back. He may have been timid to try this position in the beginning, but he was more than ready now; it was time for the last of his shields to come down.
"You all set?" Tidus asked.
"Yeah," Cloud nodded.
Slowly, carefully, Tidus began to move his hips, sinking deep inside Cloud for a moment before pulling back out. Cloud released a lustful noise, and Tidus took that as a sign that he was doing a good job. He pressed a kiss to Cloud's forehead before he continued to move again in the same motion. Cloud's free hand moved to the back of Tidus' neck, caressing him when he could, and clinging to him whenever small moments of pleasure overtook him.
From that moment on, everything began to blur. What stood out the most to Cloud, however, was not how good everything felt—although, every move they made together felt amazing—but how glad he was that this was happening with Tidus. Now that he was here in this moment, he had no fears, no regrets, and no guilt. It wasn't Zack or anyone else that he wanted. Only Tidus.
He wanted Tidus' extraordinary blue eyes staring into him. He wanted Tidus' perfectly tanned body warming him, and his battle-calloused hands caressing him. He wanted those soft, sea-salted lips on his own. He wanted to hear Tidus' pounding heart and gentle voice when this was all over.
Obviously, Cloud wasn't the only one with emotions running high. Tidus' thoughts were racing a mile a minute, along with his pulse, but the one thought that stood out amongst the rest was how much they had both changed since they had been together. Tidus was no longer the childlike teen he was when they had met; he was a brave, supportive young man, someone who Cloud trusted with all his heart, and he was ecstatic to know he was among the few souls who had ever earned such a title.
He had been waiting so long to earn Cloud's trust, and the fact that they were sharing an act this intimate seemed almost an impossibility when he thought back to where they had started. But with each quiet moan of his name, and each little twitch of Cloud's fingers as they clung to him just a little tighter, Tidus knew he deserved this. He had earned Cloud's affection, and Cloud was no longer afraid to deny him of it. Knowing that, Tidus swore to himself he would not let Cloud down. Not now. Not ever.
Sunkissed lips collided with pale skin as Tidus continued his movements. Cloud watched intently, analyzing the way Tidus' brows twitched with every little burst of pleasure. He silently hoped that whatever Tidus had had in the past with Yuna... He hoped it didn't compare to this. He didn't know how it could. He could see it in Tidus' eyes; Tidus was loving him with everything he had, and Cloud hoped Tidus knew he'd done the same thing.
Sporadic movements and tightening muscles indicated the moment would not last much longer, though both were trying their best to cling to the moment as long as they could.
"Cloud, I'm... getting close," Tidus admitted. Cloud groaned some sort of response; Tidus didn't think he was quite there yet. Cloud's eyes were tightly closed, but they flew open as Tidus slowed his hips.
"You ok—?" Cloud's sentence ended with a deep moan as Tidus moved his hand to his length. He wanted to make sure Cloud felt every bit as good as he did as they neared their end. Their eyes met again, this time a little more desperate as they knew it would all be over soon.
Tidus began moving his hips again, and he could feel Cloud's moving involuntarily with him. They rocked back and forth together, dying to remain in this wonderful moment, but neither could manage much longer.
"T-tidus—" Cloud managed, tossing his head to the side.
With a few more movements, he arrived with a loud moan, causing Tidus to mewl in unison with him, and the temperature seemed to skyrocket as Cloud's seed spread between them. Tidus could feel Cloud's muscles contracting around him, sending through him a new wave of delight, and with another couple of thrusts, he climaxed with a shuddering moan. Somehow, through his own pleasure, Cloud managed to spill a few lopsided kisses onto Tidus' nose and forehead as Tidus reached his peak. Cloud stroked the back of Tidus' neck as Tidus rocked his hips a few more times, trying to steal the last ounces of bliss from this moment.
And then, all too soon, the moment was over. Tidus withdrew from Cloud's body, and collapsed beside him, panting breaths and soft whimpers emerging as the euphoria began to simmer down.
They stared at each other fondly for several seconds as they caught their breath, their chests rising and falling heavily. Cloud was the first to speak, and he reached for Tidus' hand as he did.
"Here we are," he said, in almost a whisper. A smile crossed his face as Tidus pressed a kiss to the damp hair that was swept across his forehead.
"Here we are," Tidus repeated, smiling back.
They lay there for a long time, revelling in the afterglow. Cloud's bed was warm with the covers pulled up high, bodies pushed close together. Arms and legs were entwined. Fingers were laced. They lay on their sides, facing each other, their hazy eyes locked with one another's. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. Their actions spoke louder than words.
It was a while before either of them made any move. When they did, Tidus was the first to speak up. He propped himself up on his elbow, and gazed down at his tired partner.
"So, on a scale from one to amazing... That was pretty amazing, huh?"
"It really was," Cloud nodded, a soft smile gracing his face. His smile grew as Tidus leaned over and met his lips. Cloud's arm travelled around his neck, caressing his bronze skin. Tidus leaned back just far enough for their lips to part and their eyes to meet.
"I still don't understand, though. What changed your mind? I thought you wanted to wait," Tidus said. Cloud was silent at first, wondering whether or not he should let the truth come out, but this was Tidus, and he felt closer to him now than he ever had. He didn't need to hold back anymore.
"Would you believe me if I told you Zack came to me in a dream last night?" Cloud asked. Tidus' heart leapt into his throat with the realization that his prayers may have worked, but he managed to disguise his shock with a mere shrug.
"Stranger things have happened, right? What did he say to you?"
"A lot of things. Told me to take my chances with you, said he was happy for us, that this was what he wanted for me."
Oh," Tidus nodded, unsure of how to react. He certainly didn't have any proof, but he liked to think that he may have been the cause of Zack's visit. "And that made things easier?"
"Yeah, it did. Just knowing that he's at peace with all of this, and just knowing that he's watching over both of us... It makes things a lot easier," Cloud said, another serene smile spreading over his features.
His eyes travelled over to the picture frame atop his dresser, to where Zack's finger had traced over the dusty frame, leaving a clean trail in its wake. His heart fluttered, his smile growing just a little wider, and his soul warmer. Zack really had been here with him. All he'd said had been true, and Cloud was proud knowing he had succeeded in following his advice. For the first time, he felt he hadn't failed Zack; he'd done just the opposite—he'd made Zack proud.
"You know, you really are beautiful when you smile," Tidus grinned, catching Cloud off guard. Cloud's eyes widened a little as he regained his focus, but when his expression softened, he and Tidus leaned together for another kiss.
Their noses rubbed together as they parted, and they rolled onto their backs, their heads resting together, their bodies still pushed up alongside one another's. Their hands brushed together, and linked under the covers, like two pieces of a perfectly-manufactured puzzle.
"So, Cloud Strife, what are your plans now?" Tidus asked, smiling as they gazed up at the white ceiling.
"My plans?" Cloud repeated.
"Yeah, you know. Life plans."
"I don't know. Guess we decide that sort of thing together now, don't we?" Cloud smiled, turning his head to press a few kisses to Tidus hair.
"Sounds good to me," Tidus chuckled, softly. "But, you and me, we're gonna be together, aren't we? For life?"
Tidus' eyes were so innocent and hopeful, and with burdens off Cloud's shoulders and his emotions on a high, he felt the same hopefulness that Tidus did. He wasn't the same Cloud that Tidus had met on a mission for Cosmos; he was Cloud Strife, but happy. Better.
"And long after that," Cloud promised, capturing Tidus' lips again, knowing how much that would mean to Tidus after their discussions about the afterlife.
He was right. Tidus melted at those words, and at that touch. 'Til death do us part' just didn't make sense in this world. The Lifestream would allow them to exist together, even after death. And now, Zack would be waiting for both of them, with welcoming, open arms.
"I just have one question," Tidus interrupted, slowly and hesitantly pulling away from the kiss.
"Yeah?"
Tidus bit his lip, wondering whether he should risk bringing up a subject that might spoil the quintessential atmosphere of their night, but he felt he had to. There was one thing he was still unsure of, one thing that he feared Cloud might forever keep a secret from him.
"It's more of a request, I guess you could say," Tidus went on, crinkling his brows.
"Tidus?"
"When we were in the church the other day," Tidus started, rolling onto his side to face Cloud. He propped himself up on his elbow again and stared into those curious blue eyes. "You said... you don't like to show anyone your photo album because there are a lot of private things in there."
"Yeah?" Cloud asked.
"Well, I was just wondering..."
Tidus stopped abruptly when Cloud threw the covers off of himself, and scrambled out of bed. Tidus bit his lip harder this time, and closed his eyes as Cloud headed across the room, too distraught to even consider taking this great opportunity to stare. He'd done it, struck a nerve. Just as his brain raced through ways to take back what he'd said, Cloud spoke up again.
"You want to see it?" the man asked, gently.
"Huh?" Tidus questioned, craning his neck to see what Cloud was doing. Cloud returned to the bed seconds later, crawling back under the covers and sitting back against the headboard.
"You could have just asked," Cloud replied, placing the leather album atop the covers. Tidus' gaze went straight to the book, then he eyed Cloud curiously.
"Really?"
Cloud didn't need to give a verbal reply. A gentle flicker of his eyes was the only requirement for making Tidus believe him. Tidus' eyes filled with excitement, and he sat up beside Cloud. He moved in close, his head pressed up against Cloud's. He gave Cloud a grateful peck on the cheek as Cloud turned open the first page. Cloud turned to look at him once more before he began. He whispered softly,
"This is my mother, Claudia. And behind her, that was my home, in Nibelheim."
"Guess I know where you get your good looks," Tidus whispered back, eyes meeting Cloud's in a tender playfulness.
"She was certainly pretty. And a great cook. I picked up quite a few tips and tricks from her. Fortunately, Tifa learned a lot of my mom's recipes while I was at Shinra. I was a terrible cook when I joined the army, but I think I've improved since then," Cloud explained, voice gentle and filled with affection, rather than sadness; it was a welcome change.
"You have. Remember that fish you made for me? That was amazing!" Tidus beamed, and Cloud tried to keep himself from blushing.
"It seems to have made an impression, at least," Cloud smiled, remembering the meal which, he did have to admit, had been rather tasty.
"You bet!"
Cloud continued on with the book after that, going through every page, and speaking about every detail he could think of. He even asked Tidus if he had further questions, willingly volunteering to give him information that he had forgotten or left out, and Tidus took him up on that offer. He asked about Aerith, how she had died, what she had been like. He asked about Shinra, Sephiroth, Meteor, even Zack, and not once did Cloud shy away from giving straight answers. Cloud didn't even flinch at the tough questions. He simply smiled softly, and explained, fully ready to be nothing but honest with Tidus. No more secrets.
And when Cloud turned to the first blank page, realizing he had come to the end of his photo collection, he allowed Tidus to take the book into his own hands, and look through it once more at his own leisure. To his surprise, Tidus had finally come to the end of his questions about the pictures, and instead seemed interested in what wasn't there at all.
"You must not take a lot of pictures anymore. There are an awful lot of blank pages in the back," Tidus observed, flipping through the numerous empty parchment sheets.
"That's a good thing," Cloud said, grabbing his phone from his nightstand drawer, and slinking back down into a lying position. He lay there on his back, clicking buttons on his cellular device.
"Huh? Why is that a good thing?" Tidus raised a brow. Didn't that mean Cloud didn't have a lot of things important enough to him to fill that book? It seemed kind of sad, looking at it that way.
"It means there's lots of room left," Cloud explained.
"For what?"
Cloud patted the bed, coaxing Tidus to lie back down with him. Tidus left the book on his lap as he snuggled back down under the covers, and he gave Cloud a curious glance as Cloud reached for him. Gently, Cloud pulled Tidus' head in against his own, encouraging him to move in close. They were pressed shoulder-to-shoulder, and as Cloud smiled and raised his phone up above them, Tidus understood perfectly. He grinned up at the camera, waiting patiently as Cloud captured them both in a beautiful snapshot.
"Us."
A/N: THE END. Well, almost. There's still the epilogue, so don't leave yet! Okay, where do I even begin? Well, for starters, I should apologize for all those chapters along the way that were really short, because when I got to this one... Well, of course, this one was over 9000 words long, and then I kept asking myself, "Why, oh, why did I write so much for the smutty chapter?" But it's okay, right? It's been a very long time coming, and I wanted it to be worth the wait in every aspect. So, hopefully it lived up to those expectations!
And yes, I'm sure some of you are like, "What? Cloud was on the bottom?!" Buuuut, I have my reasons. I don't think I've ever seen anything where Tidus tops Cloud (not that there are a ton of fics/fanarts of this type out there, but I've seen a few), and I'm guessing it's an age thing? Or maybe their personalities? But I've always thought of Tidus as being the more forward of the two, without a doubt, and I think this entire story is about Cloud letting himself trust in another person, which is why I chose to write it this way.
Also, Zack probably topped with Cloud, and respectively same with Tidus and Yuna, so considering it was their first time together, they would probably be most comfortable proceeding in the same way they had done it before. But even so, I also made sure Cloud had lots of moments during this scene with Tidus where he felt dominant as well. So, hopefully, through all that, you know, mushy, blushy stuff, there was still a feeling of equals.
I gotta say, I love the ending. It was actually only a few months ago when I came up with the idea of Cloud taking the photo of them at the end. I originally just ended it with them about to look through the book, but it felt kind of unfinished. Then it came to me, and I knew it was the way I wanted to end it. With that one-line, super powerful, "Us." Hee hee. Yay, they're finally together! For real!
A little bit of random trivia here. This story was originally 32 chapters long, but when I edited it for upload, it grew a lot! So, yay, we get 39 chapters instead (counting epilogue). Why didn't I make it to 40 chapters? Don't know. It just worked out that way. And another thing, according to Final Fantasy Wiki, Cloud's mother's name was Claudia in her concept art, so I went with it.
So, yes, EPILOGUE! I plan to upload it either tomorrow or the next day, because it's only short, and I don't want to keep you poor readers suffering any longer. I think a year and a half is enough waiting for a resolution, huh? Stay tuned... :D
Oh, AND one more thing, I uploaded a new story called "Sunny With a Chance of Cloud." It's a collection of Tidus/Cloud ficlets that I wrote over the past few years. Just a little something to keep the Clidus love going. There will be a bit of everything in there. Fluff, sadness, cutness, humor, everything really. And don't worry, I've written a lot of oneshots for them, so there shouldn't be any shortage! Be sure to take a look if you're interested, and I sincerely hope you enjoy!
Thanks, as always, for reading! Feedback and constructive criticism is always appreciated :) Thank you so, so much to all who have been commenting, sending kudos, and showing your support! I can't express how much it means to have support, especially for a story like this that has taken up so much of my time and brain power the last three years. I will always try to write back to any comments I receive, so please, don't be shy! I love chatting with you all!