Classic Cullen Moments

by Sarahgotbored

(Discontinued. Only reason this hasn't been deleted is because I'm a sentimental freak and like to look back on things I wrote when I was 13. Quite frankly it's awful, Stay away!)

36. I Built it, from wood sticks & duct tape

Haii ^^

This is Mizzfit48's idea!

Thanks for all the reviews!!

Emmett POV
How to prank Eddie boy?

I walked past the kitchen and saw one of those red things … the round ones.

APPLE!

That's it!

I picked it up, ignoring the smell.

I decided to call it , because the name Bobcus is awesome. Like pigeons. Awesome like pigeons. Ah, I crack myself up! I need superglue. Get it? I crack myself up? Superglue? Cracks? Superglue fixes cracks?

Anyway, I was walking round with Mr. Bobcus when I saw a rubber ducky.

I smirked evilly and began to sing Shake It by Metro Station in my head.

I went up to Edward's room and saw Bella sleeping and Edward Lip-gloss Face sat creating a new song.

I threw in the rubber duck and pulled the voice changer out of my pocket.

I had recorded Alice's voice the other day and now I spoke into the voice changer, my voice sounding like the annoying pixie.

"Edwarddd! You need more lip gloss!" I chanted and Edward shrieked and hid under the bed.

I pushed the rubber duck further into the room and smiled.

"I am a rubber duckie Edward!" I said, my voice still sounding like the pixie.

"Emmett!" He said and I cursed.

"Dammit!" I muttered and Edward came out and pushed me down the stairs.

"MURDER!" I screeched.

"YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!" He screamed and I looked to Esme but she shook her head and ignored me.

I got up and stalked into the kitchen.

I was looking through the cupboards when I saw one of those potato things.

It was looking deformed and lonely so I paired it up with Mr. Bobcus.

I decided to name the potato Ms. LocaKetchup.

"Hey Edward! Look!" I said and he walked down the stairs and turned round when he saw the apple and potato.

I drew a face on the apple – with fangs- and the same on the potato – with fangs- but o the potato, I ran upstairs and cut some of the bristles of Alice's blusher brush and used them as a wig.

"EMMETT!" She screamed and I ran down to the basement.

"It wasn't me! It was !" I said in my defence and she shook her head and banged on the door.

"Um … go away! I'm in the shower!" Beat that, dumb pixie.

"There is no shower in the basement."

Dammit.

"Well … I built a shower! From wood and sticks and … Duct tape!" I protested.

"Does Esme know?" She said and I cursed.

"Aliceee!" I moaned and sat against the door, so she couldn't get in.

"Emmetttttt!"

I sighed.

"What do you want pixie? What did I ever do to you?" I asked innocently.

"You ruined my make up supplies!"

"Ms. LocaKetchup needed a wig!"

"YOU RUINED MY MAKE UP BRUSH TO MAKE A POTATO A WIG? OH YOU ARE DEAD. AND DON'T YOU DARE COME UP WITH THE WHOLE 'IM ALREADY DEAD' THING. I SWEAR WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THERE I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU. AND WHEN I TELL ROSE SHE PROBABLY WILL TOO! I SWEAR TO GOD EMMETT! YOU MADE A WIG FOR A POTATO? WHERE IS IT? I AM GONNA MAKE MASHED POTATO FOR BELLA WITH IT. SHE CAN EAT IT. TO DESTROY THE EVIDENCE THAT I MUDERED IT!"

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