First, thank to those who reviewed and also special shout out to those who got the Trump jokes and laughed! I hope no one was offended...I just saw an opportunity and it just felt too perfect pass up!

Second, I'm glad some of you like The Sopranos stuff. I came up with the idea when I realized that the woman who played Adriana in The Sopranos played Joey's sister in Joey. I will not be following The Sopranos storylines exactly, just taking little bits here and there. If you don't like it then you may need to write a strongly worded letter to the producers of Friends because they created a character with not a lot of depth. The majority of Joey's storylines revolve around his acting and/or unemployment, food and getting laid. So there wasn't a lot there and I figured, why not have some fun with it but if you have watched The Sopranos, please don't expect the storylines to be identical. It's still a Friends fan fiction. Enjoy and review!

Also to those who commenting that they like that I have not made Joey progressively dumber, I will not be making him dumber. I hated that they turned Joey into just a dim witted guy to someone that might need adult assistance in order to live. I wish they had had him actually mature andnot just get so ridiculous. I always saw Joey as being really street smart.

February 1999-April 1999

It had to come out at some point. Ross had gone to look at the apartment that had once belonged to Ugly Naked Man. He had gone with Phoebe and Rachel and Phoebe had seen Chandler and Monica doing it up against the window. Joey thought perhaps he, Rachel and Phoebe could just confront Monica and Chandler. He didn't want to keep any of this secret anymore. He wanted to just say something but Phoebe and Rachel had other plans. Phoebe would seduce Chandler until he broke. He was annoyed by all of this. He wanted it all to stop, but instead he found himself standing outside in the hall with Rachel listening to Phoebe and Chandler try to one up each other, seducing each other until suddenly he heard Chandler declare loudly that he was in love with Monica.

"Did he just say what I think he just said?" Joey asked, looking at Rachel. He knew Chandler had said he loved Monica but he hadn't said it so loudly and he had not said it in front of everyone. Joey and Rachel walked into the apartment as Phoebe looked stunned. Monica emerged from the boy's bathroom and walked towards Chandler.

"You're in love with me?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said. "I'm in love you. I mean, it's you. I'm in love with you."

"I love you too," Monica said as she leaned in to kiss him. Joey heard Rachel starting to sniffle as tears filled her eyes.

"Relax, he's not in love with you," Joey whispered. Rachel playfully elbowed him and let out a laugh as Joey put his arm around her.

"I didn't know you were in love, I just thought you were doing it," Phoebe said.

"How did you find out?" Monica asked.

"I saw you two doing it up against the window when we went with Ross to look at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment," Phoebe said.

"Oh my G-d….Ross is moving into that apartment. We have to tell him," Monica said,

"Not tonight," Chandler mused.

Monica laughed as Chandler still held on to her. Ross would be the last to know but at least enough people knew. Now, they could deal with it together. A new couple within the group although Monica and Chandler did seem to be a bit different of a couple. There wasn't as much drama

"Okay, I am going home. It's been a long night," Phoebe said after some more hanging out and Monica and Chandler filling the rest of them in on all the details of their relationship up to that point. Joey didn't listen really, having heard most of the story already.

"Oh, let me walk you out Pheebs," Chandler said as he walked towards Phoebe and the two disappeared. Joey wondered if Chandler was going to be giving Phoebe her money.

"You got him to say he was in love with you," Rachel said.

"I know," Monica said as the three sat together.

"You know he loves me more though," Joey said which made Monica laugh. It was true.

"Joey, stop being weird. Jandler is over. It's now Mondler time," Rachel said.

"No, no….Jandler will never be over," Monica said, squeezing Joey's hand. "Oh, G-d….I can't stop smiling. He's my best friend. I am dating my best friend."

"It's amazing isn't it?" Rachel asked.

"It won't be like you and Ross, though," Monica said.

Joey bit his lip as he looked over at Rachel and noticed she was a bit upset by the comparison. It was starting to be an odd comparison. Monica and Chandler still had plenty of drama. They definitely weren't perfect.

"I know. You and Chandler will be so much better. You'll be the anti Ross and Rachel," Rachel smiled.

"Okay," Monica said.

Joey didn't like that and he didn't like that Rachel was going along with it despite him knowing she hated it. Ross and Rachel were a fine couple and when they were good, they were pretty awesome.

"Although, I don't think Ross and Rachel were that bad," Joey said, giving Rachel a look. She smiled at him and turned back to Monica who looked concerned.

"No, no you weren't…..I shouldn't be saying we won't be like you," Monica said.

"I don't really like it," Rachel said. "But-"

"I'm sorry….you and Ross make a pretty good team. When you two are good, you're fantastic," Monica said.

"Thanks and I agree."

"Please don't tell Ross, 'cause I know you two tell each other everything. I really want to be the one to tell him this," Monica said.

"I won't."

Monica could not stop smiling and soon Chandler returned. Chandler and Monica decided to sleep in Monica's room that night giving Joey the whole apartment to himself. That was going to be pretty awesome. After the rest of them left, he grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped in a Baywatch tape and decided he would watch until falling asleep in front of the television. He was so close to doing that when he heard the door open and close behind him.

"Hey, what's up?" Joey asked as Rachel grabbed a blanket from Chandler's room and plopped herself down on one of the recliners.

"Hey, I'm gonna sleep in Chandler's room tonight. I'll let them be alone."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just….I'm sad."

"About what?"

"I'm single. I mean, I guess...I just...I want...I wish...I don't know-"

"You'll find someone."

"Who?"

"Who would not want you?"

"That's sweet. I'm just tired of being single. I want to date someone….someone not Ross," Rachel said.

"You know, you and Ross will end up together," Joey said, glancing over at her.

"I don't know….but apparently we have a reputation."

"From Monica and Chandler? Come on….you're gonna take relationship advice from two people who thought the best way to have a relationship was to keep it secret?"

"True...but still-"

"You and Ross are fine. Don't worry about it."

Rachel smiled as Joey continued to watch Baywatch. His mind wandered, thinking about other things and also Baywatch. The dynamics were different now. There was a new couple and while he didn't want to admit it to Rachel, he kinda hoped Monica and Chandler wouldn't be completely like them, although it did seem like they were very, very different.

The next morning, he and Rachel were sitting across from each other, eating cereal. Rachel had seemed very upset the night before and he hoped now things were okay.

"You feeling better?"

"Hmmm….I don't know. How 'bout you, Joe?"

"What about me?"

"Have you ever had a relationship that has lasted longer than a night."

"I have," Joey said. He had several. At least he thought he had.

"Okay, longer than two nights."

"You have a very low opinion of me, Green," Joey said, giving her a grin. She really must have thought he was a complete pig. Sure, he never returned calls but he was playing the field, also when he got a girl's number, he also gave his so why did he always have to call? He refused to give into the double standard.

"I don't...I….okay, when I met you at that fashion week party, you hit on me even though I said I had a boyfriend and I was there with the brother of that boyfriend."

The image of Brian took over again. He wondered if he'd ever be able to think of him without feeling so incredibly guilty. He could have done something.

"Yeah, but from what you've told me about Barry and Brian. I don't think Brian would've cared if you hooked up with me."

"No, I don't think so either."

"And you were in Brian's pants the whole time," Joey said remembering that party and remembering Rachel and Brian together. They were flirting. Even if Rachel denied it, they had been acting like a couple.

"I was not. I was….near his pants, definitely not in them."

"Okay, let me ask you….if Brian had been straight, would you have hooked up with him?"

"Oh G-d, yes," Rachel said. Joey laughed as he shook his head.

That lingering guilt though, hopefully, that would fade. She really did love this guy. He could almost hear that wail again. He needed to change the topic.

"See and you know, just because you've had more serious relationships than I have….doesn't make you better."

"I didn't say that….but have you ever….you know….you have any regrets? Of girls you should have called or wish you had been more faithful too?"

"Hmm, some," Joey said and a girl came to mind. He forgot her name but she looked like Monica. She had been cute but he hadn't spoken with her in a long time.

"Like?"

Joey opened his mouth and Rachel was listening intently when they heard a pounding outside. Rachel and Joey exchanged confused looks until they heard Ross yelling for Monica and Chandler.

"Well, seems like the time has come to get your money," Joey grinned as they got up and walked out just as Monica was opening the door to the apartment. Rachel and Joey followed Ross in as he stomped into the apartment.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"I'm going to kill Chandler," Ross ran towards the bathroom.

"I think he may have found out about them," Joey said, giving her a look. Rachel shook her head.

"Ross, come on...calm down," Monica said, grabbing his arm.

"What the hell is going on?" Ross asked.

"I will tell you if you calm down," Monica said. "And Chandler get out of the bathroom."

"Will Joey protect me from Ross?" Chandler asked, from behind the closed door.

"I'm on it man," Joey said as he walked towards the bathroom.

"Wow," Monica said looking towards Rachel. Rachel let out a snort and shook her head.

"Never underestimate the power of Jandler," Rachel said.

"What is going on?" Ross asked.

"Sit down," Monica said, leading her brother towards the big chair. She looked back at Chandler as he opened the door to the bathroom and looked cautiously at Ross.

"I got you, buddy," Joey said.

"Joe, Rach….can you guys give us a moment?" Monica asked.

"Come on, Joey. I think we should let them talk," Rachel said, motioning for him join her. Joey looked between Chandler and Monica, nervous.

"If you go, I will make you French toast for breakfast when you come back," Monica said.

"Okay, good luck buddy," Joey said, patting Chandler on the back and walking out of the apartment, with Rachel following. He picked up his cereal and continued eating. Sure Monica was making French toast later but still, cereal would be an appetizer.

"Things are definitely changing," Joey mumbled.

"Who are the women?"

"What?" Joey asked, confused.

"Who are the women that you regret blowing off? I mean, have you ever really been in love?"

"What is with the questioning?" Joey asked. Why was she wanting to know so much?

"I wanna know. I feel like out of everyone, I know the least about you. Except that you come from a big family, you're a pig and you have mafia ties."

"That's all you really need to know."

"Tell me something that Chandler doesn't even know. Come on, please…..did you ever whack anyone?"

"No."

"Really?

They always wanted to know things. They always wanted to know events but he did not want them to be privy to any of these stories. They were dangerous. They weren't fun stories.

"Alright….when I was in construction, I had an opportunity to get into that part of the business but I couldn't. It…..it wasn't the kind of life I wanted. I saw some stuff that I didn't really like and….okay, you know how I said my roommate died of a drug overdose?"

"Shane?"

"Yep….I am convinced though no one has come out and said it, I am convinced that there is more to the story than an overdose. I think someone helped him."

That story was probably the least dangerous. He couldn't really say for sure what happened in the time between his last phone call with Shane and him dying but he had some idea and he had a feeling Christopher was behind it.

"Oh my G-d," Rachel said.

"Say nothing."

"I won't….but why do you think someone helped him?"

"Because when I left for Los Angeles, he was clean and had been for a long time. He's was actually doing pretty good with his sobriety and a couple weeks before I came back, he began hanging out with a cousin of mine, Christopher, who had drug problems. Something happened...I don't know the full story. I just keep being told that I don't need to know."

"Oh my G-d…..Shane was an asshole. What he did to Chandler?"

"I didn't know he did that and he was," Joey said.

"Hmmmm….Chandler thinks Shane was afraid of you," Rachel said.

"He may have been," Joey said, thinking there might be truth to that.

"But why was he so mean to Chandler? He clearly wasn't mean to you."

"Chandler's a smart ass."

"Yeah, and…."

"I think Shane wanted someone to fight back. With fists and not sarcastic, witty comments."

"Oh….I see."

Rachel nodded as Joey laughed. They continued eating their cereal before Monica called them over for breakfast and even sitting at the table, the dynamics had indeed changed. Chandler and Monica were acting like a couple and it was sweet but different. Now that everything was out in the open, they had also decided to go back and forth so one night a week either Joey or Rachel would get their apartment to themselves. The changes were happening faster he'd like while he was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do now.

Phoebe met Gary the cop towards the end of February, beginning of March. It was bad, very bad. Phoebe had unknowingly taken Gary's badge and pretended to be a cop and eventually they began dating. This scared Joey. Gary seemed to look at Joey like he knew a secret, like he saw right through him. Every single time they talked, Gary would just stare at him and the way Gary said Joey's name creeped him out even more.

"Joey Tribbiani?" Gary said it as if he knew Joey's story. He immediately disliked Gary but he couldn't explain why. He couldn't tell the other five and when Gary suggested that he, Ross and Chandler go for a ride-along with him, Joey immediately declined feeling this could be the worst possible thing he could do but it was Tony who told him otherwise. He was shocked when Tony told him to go. Joey felt like he was being thrown to the wolves.

"I'm not going on a ride-along with a cop. Are you out of your mind?" Joey asked, sitting across from Tony at his restaurant. He was happy just eating his pizza and drinking his wine when Tony kept pushing. He had made the mistake of telling Tony all about Gary and how much he hated him and apparently Tony had done digging of his own and now had a job for Joey.

"He's investigating. Look, those bozos you love are going on it, right?"

"Yeah."

"You don't think they'll spill shit to a cop?"

"Ross doesn't know crap and Chandler, no he won't say anything."

"To a cop? Get your brain out of your dick and put it back in your head. Sure your roommate won't say jack to a bystander but to a cop."

"Why are they investigating?" Joey asked. "What are they investigating?"

"You really wanna know?"

"No. Yes. I don't know."

"Look, there's a possibility I might end being named a suspect in a grand jury investigation."

"Are you going to be indicted? Are you going to prison? Can I get your car if you do?" Joey asked.

"What's the matter with you? No and not if I can help it but this cop is sniffing around and is gonna ask you some crap. I need to know nothing gets revealed. I trust you, I don't trust them."

"Fine, I'll go on the ride-a-long," Joey said.

"Good. Wear a wire."

"What?" Joey asked, where had that come from?

"I want to hear what he says. If there's anything on him, I should know?"

"Wearing a wire...I-"

"Joey. Come on, you think he'll pat you down?"

"Fine….I'll do it. Alright, remember when I didn't want to be part of your world."

"You're not gonna kill him. I might."

Joey shook his head and reluctantly agreed to wear a wire before going on the ride-a-long. He would not tell Ross or Chandler until later. He definitely would not tell Phoebe. He needed to play it cool. He hadn't been in the back of a police car in a long time and it felt weird not being in handcuffs. Before the ride-a-long, he had told Chandler and Ross to not say a word or just act as cool as they could. Joey would act cool as well, as long as Gary didn't start pressing which of course did not last long as about ten minutes into the ride, Gary decided to start.

"So Tribbiani, familiar feeling sitting back there, isn't it?" Gary asked.

Chandler immediately looked at Joey, his look one of shock. Joey shushed him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Joey said.

"Please, you got quite a record. Rape, two drunk driving arrests, a fight….quite a history, Tribbiani," Gary said.

"Rape?" Ross asked.

Joey realized that Ross didn't know about that arrest. He also was pretty sure Ross didn't know about any of his arrests. He really did have to talk to Ross more.

"Yeah, you know your buddy is a rapist," Gary said.

"She never pressed charges. In fact, all of those arrests were cleared," Joey said.

"It helps when you're connected with Tony Soprano," Gary said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Joey said.

"Don't play dumb," Gary said.

"I'm not playing dumb, I really am this stupid," Joey said. "Right, boys."

"Uh-huh," Chandler said.

"Um….yeah," Ross said.

"Tell me about Soprano," Gary said.

"I don't know anything," Joey said.

"Bullshit. You know, your friend is going down, it's a matter of time before the feds move in on him and maybe we can dig up some of your history."

He hated Gary and his attempts at intimidation. The thing was, Joey wasn't under arrest. He hadn't done anything so he could play Gary's game. He may not be the smartest guy in any room but no idiot.

"Alright, fine…..you wanna know about Soprano, I'll tell you everything you need to know," Joey said.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"What?" Ross asked.

"That's what I wanna hear and maybe you tell me what I wanna hear and I'll help you out," Gary said.

"Okay but here's the thing. If I tell you stuff about Soprano, well then I have to tell Tony the stuff I know about you," Joey said.

"What do you have on me?" Gary asked.

"Easy, actually. I was thinking, actually, you said you looked at Phoebe's records, right? What did you find in those records?"

"None of your fucking business."

"It kinda is 'cause see, I know Pheebs now pretty well and she does have a record. Right? She was in juvie for a year….juvie, she was a juvenile. She got out when she was eighteen and those records were sealed," Joey said.

"I know that."

"She went to juvie for stealing, right?" Joey asked.

"Stabbing a cop, jackass," Gary said.

"That's right but how could you have gotten that file? It was sealed and Phoebe hasn't been eighteen in….well, she just turned thrty one….so she hasn't been eighteen in-in-"

"Thirteen years," Chandler said.

"Thank you….but you had to search for those files 'cause from what I've heard and seen, she's been a law abiding citizen for thirteen years and there's something else that confuses me. You said that in her file, her last known address was Bedford where Chandler, Monica, Rachel and I live now. That doesn't make sense. 'Cause her last known address listed in her criminal, juvie records would not be Bedford. I don't know what she put but she wasn't living there when she was eighteen. So you had to put in a lot of work to basically get laid. So I can tell you what you wanna know about Tony but then I have to tell him how you basically opened a sealed filed that had been closed for over a decade in order to dig up information, then you went about stalking her to find her address…..all so you can get a little bit of action. Also, my files? How do you know that information? You shouldn't know any of that. Considering the fact that all of those charges were dropped," Joey said.

"Holy crap," Ross muttered.

"How do...what...whoa..." Chandler said.

Joey grinned wildly as he knew his friends were impressed with him. He loved when he amazed Chandler and Ross.

"You got Monique to drop the charges," Gary said.

"I didn't get her to do anything and how do you know her name?" Joey asked.

"Two drunk driving arrests?" Gary asked.

"Yeah, I was young and stupid," Joey said.

"Now you're old and stupid?" Chandler asked.

"Why?" Joey asked, looking over at Chandler.

"I saw an opportunity. Shut up," Chandler groaned.

"Fine, Tribbiani, you wanna play like that alright but you know what, it's gonna happen. Mark my words. Soprano is gonna end up in prison," Gary said.

"And I'm not helping you," Joey said. "Also, interrogating me like this in the back of a cop car in front of two witnesses and I've done nothing wrong...in fact, your girlfriend thinks we're in here just going for a drive. I don't think that's gonna look good. So you watch the Knicks last night? What did you think, Officer Gary? Love those Knicks. They rule. Don't you think?"

The rest of the car ride was tense and silent. He wanted nothing to do with Gary. Chandler kept staring at him, beyond stunned. Joey really wished Phoebe would break up with him. He was counting down to the end of their relationship which he hated thinking about. He knew he would also have to explain things to Ross. Ross had questions and he had to wonder how much he could tell Ross without giving too much away. After the ride-a-long, Gary said nothing more to him, he and Phoebe went out and the boys retreated to the apartment. Ross had not spoken at all, just kept looking at Joey.

"You've been arrested four times?" Ross asked.

"Hold on," Joey said as he lifted his shirt and removed the wire. Chandler and Ross stared, stunned as he turned off the recorder.

"You recorded?" Chandler asked.

"Tony wanted me to do it," Joey said. "Alright, what he said was true. Ross, I've been arrested four times and for all of the reasons he said. I don't know what was said to Monique to get her to drop them, I have a feeling it was aggressive but yeah."

"Wow," Ross said.

"I was like so impressed with you back there...that was amazing," Chandler said.

"So everything Gary said..." Ross said.

"Is true. Tony wanted me to record the conversation because he wanted info. You guys are in the clear. I hate Gary. I want Phoebe to be happy but man..."

"Well, he is a little creepy. I mean, take it from a guy who pined after the same girl for ten years...the lengths Gary went to get to her, that's too creepy even for me," Ross said.

Joey laughed, thankful that Ross was not being judgemental. Both of them seemed okay with what he was telling them. He might tell Phoebe one day but he certainly could not tell her while they were still dating and he hoped that would not last much longer.

.