Beckett helped her from the carriage after the short ride. She frowned. "The hospital?"
"Just follow me." The nun in the front hall was clearly not surprised to see Beckett; she led him upstairs and to the proper room without even needing to ask who he was visiting. Once she had gone away again, Beckett led Elizabeth to the bed. "Mercer has a proposition for you. I suggest you listen to him," he told her. He leaned down and breathed into Mercer's ear: "We were right – something's afoot tonight. I want to sort it out without her in the way. Make something up, keep her busy here for as long as you can. Anything short of violence will be fine."
He straightened up and patted Elizabeth on the arm. "You two should discuss this alone." He gave her a short bow and backed out of the room. He could see the wheels already turning in Mercer's head and was sure he would think something up.
Beckett left and rushed back to the carriage and ordered it back to the party. They were halfway there when the carriage suddenly swerved and the driver gave a yell. A low snarl answered: "Don't move."
Just his luck - highway robbers! Tonight of all nights. Beckett put his head in his hands as the carriage door was wrenched open. Hopefully they would just take his valuables and go away - if they made off with the horses he'd have to walk all the way back to the Governor's mansion.
Then somebody climbed into the carriage with him, and it was definitely not an ordinary highway robber. "Where've ye taken Elizabeth?"
Will was lurking in the front hall alone while the guests all enjoyed themselves in the dining room. Please, Jack, don't come yet, he thought. Wait til Elizabeth gets back. He did not think he was capable of averting mass chaos on his own.
But the knock came, and Elizabeth was not back yet. Bloody pirates. Will took a deep breath and opened the door.
It was not Jack Sparrow. "'Ello, you!" rumbled a creature with its eyes on stalks like a crab. "Fancy meeting you here!"
Will went for his sword, but a hand that was much wetter and clingier than a hand ought to be caught his wrist and stopped him. "There's no need for that." The crowd of fish-people parted to let their leader through, and Will stared up in horror at Davy Jones himself, here, on the doorstep of the Governor's mansion. "This time," Jones continued softly, "Our quarrel is not with you. Let us in and no innocent blood will be shed."
It had been a while since he'd dealt with Davy Jones, but Will still knew better than to settle for that. "No innocent blood, hmm? Whose blood exactly do you plan to be shedding?" He shifted to block as much of the doorway as possible, even though he knew full well that Jones could push past him if he wanted to.
Twenty seconds of silence and hard eye contact later, Davy gave up trying to stare him into submission. "The laddie's all grown up," he laughed. "Very well - I'm looking for Jack Sparrow. I don't expect he'll miss this party... do you?"
They were still staring into each other's eyes and Will knew Davy had read the truth immediately, so there was no point in telling lies. "Jack isn't here now... but I would not be at all surprised if he put in an appearance tonight," he admitted.
"In that case you'd best let us in." Davy stepped forwards and Will backed up a little. "Even though we're not quite dressed for the occasion."
Once Davy shouldered through, snorting with swampy laughter, the others followed suit. Will panicked at the thought of how the women would react to seeing a dozen shellfish-encrusted monsters invading their party, so he grabbed Davy by the arm. "Look, you can't be in here. It will be chaos if everyone sees you. Come with me - into the Governor's study. You can wait there. I'll give you Jack if you promise you'll leave the rest of us alone."
Davy allowed himself to be ushered into the study. He and his crew made themselves at home there, and Will winced at the slime they were dripping on all the fancy furniture. He pointed out where the brandy was kept, lit them a few lamps, and then left the room.
Just after he closed the door behind him, a voice from the shadows tsked at him. "Now that is no way to treat a guest," Jack Sparrow complained in a whisper. "Are you really going to give me up to him?"
Will's jaw dropped. "Jack? How long have you-"
"Our moldy friends left the door open," Jack explained, "So I just brought the crew right in."
"You brought...?" Will looked around and realized that the front hall was now filled with pirates - another group of individuals that would make the female guests faint and scream. And they smelled even worse than the fishies. "All right this is not good. Jack... if Davy sees you it'll be a bloodbath. You have to get out of here. Go outside, get him to notice you through the window, and lead him away from the house."
Jack blinked. "You mean you want me to sacrifice my entire night of revelry just so you can clear this mob of bloodthirsty monsters out of your home?"
"Of course!"
They looked at each other with matching expressions of surprise. He can't be serious.
They heard a crash from inside the study. "All right all right, I'll try to get rid of them for you," Will hissed. "But in the meantime you've all got to hide. Get everybody into the library. And be quiet!"
The library was directly across the hall from the study in which he had stashed the fish-people, so Will made the pirates tiptoe as quietly as they were able. He herded them all into the library and left, and no sooner had the door clicked shut behind him than the study door swung open right in his face.
Davy glared at him. "Well?"
Will backed up against the library door and held onto the doorknob with both hands so that Jack wouldn't be able to try to come out. He prayed that the pirates would stay quiet. "Well I was just coming to see you, Davy," he said. He could feel that his eyes had gone all wide and terrified, and tried squinting to even it out.
This looked so ridiculous that Davy cocked his head and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Wrong?! Ha ha no of course not," Will squeaked. He knew he had absolutely botched this and it terrified him.
A thud and a squeal and then some laughter issued forth from the library, and Davy's eyes shot at once to the door. "What's that?"
"A coupleoftheguests got drunk and they were fighting so I locked them inthelibrary that's all," Will said in a rush.
He could see that Davy was not buying it, but then they both heard the click of someone's heels in the hall and Governor Swann's voice calling, "William? Are you out here?"
So Will squeaked "Hide!" He leaped forward slammed the study door in Davy's face.
He leaned against the study door, both hands behind his back, clinging to the doorknob while Davy made growling attempts to turn it. Governor Swann came around the big staircase and caught sight of him and came over at once. "My dear William," he slurred happily. Will had never before seen him tipsy. Swann braced both his arms against the study door to give him something to lean against, effectively trapping Will in place.
"Young man, you simply cannot hide all evening from the party!" he lectured, then hiccupped. "I know you were raised in the streets but that's no excuse not to suffer along with the rest of us! Now, button your collar up and we'll go back in there and be miserable and drunk like civilized men ought. If you don't make at least three insincere toasts tonight and compliment four or five hideous women, I shall want to know the reason why! Now, come."
Will was holding the study door shut, but just at that moment the door to the library creaked open. There, not three feet behind Governor Swann, was Jack Sparrow. Jack and Will made horrified eye contact over the Governor's shoulder, and then took action. Jack eased the door shut slowly, while Will grabbed Swann's collar to hold him still and started talking to cover the noise of the hinges. "Well yes Governor there are lots of hideous women here, I love hideous women too don't you?"
As soon as Jack was safely hidden again Will let go, and Swann gave him a very strange look before heading back into the party. Will groaned at the thought of what his father-in-law must think of him now, but he soon had much bigger problems.
Once they heard the footsteps die away and knew that the Governor was gone, Jack and Davy opened their respective doors at exactly the same moment.
They were suddenly face-to-face, and well within slaughtering distance.
Will dove for the ground to get out of the crossfire, while Davy lunged forward and Jack retreated into the library. Davy tried to follow him, but Jack slammed the door and caught several tentacles in it. Davy bellowed in pain and rage, and Will winced, realizing that this little problem was not going to be a secret for long. Already he could hear guests saying, "What's that?" ... and that was before Davy had one of his crewmen start pounding on the library with a mace.
Aye, Elizabeth was here in the hospital all right. Barbossa hadn't even reached the top of the stairs yet, and already he could hear her shrieking: "Not one more word!"
"I'm just saying," answered a weaker voice that Barbossa couldn't immediately identify, "That if you had allies, we'd be helping watch over him... and you'd rest easier, you would. Easier than if you had enemies, and had to keep wondering what they were getting up to and whether they know the tyke likes to play alone in the woods behind the church on Sundays."
A gasp. "How did you-"
"People are keeping a friendly eye is all. Don't you worry."
Barbossa finished the stairs and crept up to the door just in time to hear Elizabeth say, "I know I've warned you before that my son is not to be used as leverage. You are leaving me no choice."
Mercer laughed so hard he started coughing. "Pardon. It's a very select few would shoot a man in a hospital bed, love, and you're not one. Put it down. So, will you say yes tonight... or will you hold out until after something unfortunate happens?"
Judging it just about time to intervene, Barbossa put his hand to the doorknob and eased it open without creaking.
He's serious, she told herself, so you can do it now, before he's given you cause, or you can wait until he ACTUALLY does something atrocious. Why let him? she told herself,
She raised her gun again and cocked it. Mercer was in his bed, far too far away to prevent anything-
But all of a sudden there was someone beside her, snatching her wrist and jerking the gun down. Beckett, you're a dead man, she thought. But when she turned she found herself face to face with not Beckett but Barbossa, and froze in confusion. What could the captain possibly be doing here? And why would he interfere?
"Let go of me," she hissed at last. He of all people should appreciate the occasional need to kill someone in cold blood! "Captain, let go."
He didn't let go. Instead, without ever taking his eyes from Elizabeth, he reached for his own gun and shot Mercer himself.
Afterwards he looked to make sure. Dead, he confirmed. Good. On a motionless target, anything else would have been simply embarrassing.
Elizabeth was staring at the body, looking horrified. Before Barbossa had time to finish properly congratulating himself on his sense of timing, the door burst open and a nun came in. "Heaven preserve us!" She covered her mouth with both hands and then whimpered, "What happened?"
Barbossa crossed the room calmly and put his smoking pistol in Mercer's dead hand. "Looks to me like one of your patients just finished commitin suicide," he explained. "Shame, isn't it?" He tipped his hat to her and steered Elizabeth out of the room.
They didn't exchange a word until he put her into the carriage and she tripped over something on the floor that felt suspiciously like a body. "What did you do?" she breathed in horror.
"Almost nuthin." He got in behind her and paused to feel the body for heartbeat. "Thought so - he's fine. It's your friend Beckett. I was askin him where he took you. It was embarrassing how fast he fainted."
It was silent for a bit and then she said, a little defiantly, "I could have done it, you know."
"So could I - and I won't be losin any sleep." He shrugged. "Let it be, miss. It's handled."
They rode the rest of the way to the party without speaking, but it was not a hostile silence. When they arrived he climbed down first and then offered a hand to help her.
She gasped and pointed over his shoulder. "Oh, no - look!"
He whipped around just as she was stepping down from the carriage, so she lost balance and knocked him over like a tidal wave of brocade and lace. "Get off, fool," he snarled, fighting his way free of the huge dress and trying to figure out what was happening.
There was obviously a battle royale going on inside the house. People were crashing through windows, screaming, bellowing, and firing guns. Flames were issuing forth from the dining room, and for a second Barbossa was ready to blame Jack until-
"That smell," Elizabeth said.
Barbossa sniffed and caught the stink of fish - and not the cooked kind. He got to his feet and finally managed to help Elizabeth to hers. "I can't breathe," she panted, holding her arms up. "Corset. Off."
He took half a second to leer at her and then sliced through the laces of her dress with a dagger. She jumped at the cold when he put the blade down the front of her bodice to tear it. Once he'd got it started, he held the knife in his teeth and used his hands to rip the dress the rest of the way open. Underneath was the corset, which he slashed off with one stroke. He pulled the whole mess down her arms and helped her step out of it.
It hadn't taken thirty seconds to get Elizabeth from full formalwear down to her shift. A voice from the carriage: "You've no idea what I would have given to do that."
That was the problem with knocking prisoners out instead of killing them - they frequently woke up again later to be an even bigger annoyance. Barbossa turned and rolled his eyes. "Shut up. Give her your sword." Beckett handed it over without further protest, and the first thing Elizabeth did was bash him on the head with it to put him to sleep again.
She kicked off her shoes and cracked her neck. "Let's go."
They ran up to the house together and went in through one of the broken windows. He was in his coat and the entry didn't bother him any, but Elizabeth cut herself on some of the glass. She made an annoyed little huff when she saw the blood on her brand-new white lace. "You'd best have my back from now on," she warned as they threw themselves at the nearest fish-people, "Or Will's going to kill you."
"Aye, and you'd best have mine," he warned right back, shooting her a grin that was a little sinister because of the chunky black blood that had been splattered over his face. "Because think how annoyed he'll be to see you cryin over me."
She rolled her eyes and ducked someone's spiny fist. "Come on - the worst of it's in there," she shouted over the noise of chopping and Yarrr-ing. "Let's go."
They headed for the dining room, where the flames was coming from, and found that the blaze was no accident. Someone had tilted the massive dinner table over to make a barricade, and had set fires in front of it to help keep the attacking monsters away from the dinner guests.
No prizes for guessing who. Inside the fiery wall were messes of wailing women and children and a few wailing men. Will was standing up on a chair with a torch, pointing. "Over there!" he shouted. "The fire's dying on the right - shore it up!"
One of the women went to see to it. Elizabeth cupped her hands to her face. "Will! What's happening?"
"Elizabeth!" He hopped down from his chair and came as close to the flames as he dared. "Jones showed up and scared me half to death and then Jack came, and Jones turned on him and they all started fighting. The pirates were in trouble, so Norrington took it into his head to make any military men in the room stand up and help. So Jones turned on us too."
"How bad is it?" she called.
Will shrugged. "Not very. It's remarkably hard to massacre civilians when people are looking out for them. Jack's people are fierce tonight and it turns out some of the men with wigs actually have a spine- oy - you!" He took aim and fired at a sharky invader that had gotten too close to the firewall.
"What should I do?"
"You should hurry," Barbossa muttered from behind her. It was exhausting to hold everyone off her while she chitchatted, and somebody had cut him in the face and he hated being cut in the face.
"Find Jones," Will said. "He's here somewhere. Strike a deal with him, Elizabeth. This is a pirates' feud and now innocent people are getting hurt. It has to stop."
"What- Strike a deal? You want me to give him Jack?" She could hardly believe it.
"If you wont, I'm sure Barbossa is willing to." Will backed up into his stronghold and gave some more orders about strengthening it.
TBC. I think this might be the first big battle scene I've written where each army is internally on the same page - we don't have allies fighting each other or people switching sides mid-fight or anything like that (So far. I'm still trying to resist having the soldiers turn on the pirates at the 11th hour.)
Smiley thanks to those who reviewed. To everybody else: yarrr! Write to me – I mean it!!