Chapter 37 – Of Use One Way or Another
Morning came far too early.
Lizzy woke to the feel of Jamie tenderly kissing her ear and neck. She smiled as he pulled back to look at her, watching her as he looked down at her, braced on one elbow.
He rose to his feet after a few moments, allowing her to feel the ping of his absence and warmth, but also to let her rest a time longer.
She rose and moved to have breakfast with the men. She was chilled, shivering in the early hours before the sun came to them. Jamie fetched a fur and let her wrap it about herself. He could hear her teeth chattering beside her and he hated having her so cold. When he finished, he moved behind her, wrapping his arms about her to try to warm her. She stopped shivering at least so he could go break the campsite.
The group left the campsite before the sun touched the valley they were in.
Lizzy found herself with New Gowen for much of the trip. It made her smile. She actually liked the MacKenzie lawyer. He had a kind way about him and was much more educated that the lot, save for perhaps Jamie who had studied abroad and knew several languages.
Ahead of them, the other men were singing.
The wagon led the way with Dougal behind it leading the signing. Jamie and Murtagh were behind him. Jamie smiled and looked back where his wife was in the middle of the group.
"The maid gaed tae the mill ae nicht." Dougal sang.
"Hey, sae wanton she." The other men answered.
"She swore by the moon and stars sae bricht."
"She would get her corn grun'" The men sang.
"She would get her corn grun'"
"Mill and mulure free."
"Oot then come the miller man."
"Hey, hey, hey sae wanton."
"Forgettin' all her corn grun'"
"Mill and multure free."
The men laughed.
Lizzy looked about and then closed her eyes and began to sing softly.
"Hither, page, and stand by me
If thou know'st it, telling
Yonder peasant, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?"
"Sire, he lives a good league hence
Underneath the mountain
Right against the forest fence
By Saint Agnes' fountain.
Bring me flesh and bring me wine
Bring me pine logs hither
Thou and I will see him dine
When we bear him thither."
Page and monarch forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the rude wind's wild lament
And the bitter weather
Sire, the night is darker now
And the wind blows stronger
Fails my heart, I know not how,
I can go no longer."
Mark my footsteps, my good page
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter's rage
Freeze thy blood less coldly."
She opened her eyes and noticed everyone had turned to look at her as she sang. She blushed and looked down even as some of the men clapped.
Rupert called from behind her. "Dae ye ken ony mair, lass?" He asked. "That wis bonny. Ah hud na idea ye cuid sing."
Jamie chuckled. "Och, aye. She kin. Whin she wishes."
Dougal looked back. "She kin sing mair often. It's lik' listening tae an angel." He said.
She blushed more and looked down.
Ned smiled and patted her arm as he leaned over.
She smiled up at him and coughed.
"Ye dae hae a bonny voice, lass. Ye shuid share it mair often."
She blinked. "Thank you."
He dipped his head.
She then looked at him. "I am curious what possessed a man of your qualifications to take up a post in these remote Highlands."
Ned smiled. "Weel as a young jimmy, ah studied law at th' university o' auld Edinburgh." He looked at her. "Ah hud a wee practice wi' lace curtains in th' windae, shiny brass plate wi' mah name oan it oan th' door."
"Sounds charming." She said looking about.
"Och 'twas, 'twas." He agreed. "Bit ah grew restless." He looked over at her. "Ah mist confess tae huvin something o' a taste fur adventure. Sae ah determined th' best coorse wis tae boost northwards up 'ere tae th' hielands. 'n' thought that ah micht induce some clan chief tae allow me tae serve him."
"Colum MacKenzie, I take it."
"Oh, no, no, no, no, lass. His faither, Jacob." He grinned. "Oh, no." He smiled. "A'm muckle older than ah appear, lassie." He chuckled as she grinned at that. "Bit, o' coorse, hings wur muckle less civilized then. Back then, men wur men 'n' th' pernicious weed o' civilization wis less rampant in th' wild, bonny coupon o' this land."
She looked over at him. "You may be a man of the law, sir, but you've the soul of a romantic."
He chuckled at that.
Angus and Willie were at the rear, watching and listening.
After a time, Jamie dropped back and looked at his wife as she shifted her leg up to ride more in the way of a side saddle, to ease her leg by allowing it to bend a little. They were again following a river. Lizzy looked up at him and he smiled at her.
"Urr ye weel, lass?" He asked her.
She nodded and smiled back.
He reached a hand over and touched her cheek. "We wull soon be tae th' village."
She nodded again.
ZzZ
They arrived at the village two hours before sundown.
The rents were collected, again in a orderly fashion.
This night, however, Dougal had made arrangements to stay in the inn, as they normally did at this time. The inn had room for them all, the largest room was given to Lizzy and Jamie since their pair of them were wed. Dougal had teased her that Jamie needed to start doing his duty and try for a son.
Lizzy had just politely smiled. They had been actively "trying" since a few weeks after Janet's birth. Jamie had taken it in stride when she had had her flux and not been pregnant. They had two daughters and he had heard that if they allowed it to happen it would. However, he had told her, when she last had bled, that he was quite happy to give her time to fully heal. If she never conceived again he would naturally be saddened, but her health was more important. He could bear his own pain, but to have her screaming in pain for hours had nearly undone him.
They ate their supper, but then the people of the village packed in. Lizzy sat near the fire with Jamie, Murtagh and Willie.
She poked the coals a little with a long stick, bored, but willing to stay downstairs and listen at the behest of her uncle by marriage.
"Aye, aye, Th' land's bin guid tae ye this year." Dougal said to them.
"Aye." The villagers said.
"Ah hear ye'v hud a braw harvest o' oats."
"Aye."
"Galloway, ah kin tell ye'v nae bin starving." Dougal said lifting a dram to him.
Everyone in the room laughed except for the group with Lizzy.
"Yi'll waant tae watch yer back aroond thae drunken bastards showing a pair o' paps lik' thon." Dougal continued, looking down at Lizzy.
The men laughed.
"Aye." Galloway said lifting his dram in a mock salute.
Lizzy watched as the door was shut.
Dougal began to pace the room, speaking in Gaelic. She heard it all, but understood little as she looked into the flames. She poked a stick into the fire.
Suddenly Dougal was behind her, lifting her to her feet. She was so startled, she didn't react, even as he yanked the bodice and ripped the chemise under it, revealing to the onlookers her bare back, lined with scars from her flogging.
She gasped, crossing her arms and holding her dress front tight against her breasts. She quivered and sank to the floor, tears in her eyes as she hung her head. Her olive skin was molten in the firelight, flawless, except for the horrible risen scars from the lash.
Jamie had been drinking from a dram when his uncle also took hold of his shirt and pulled the collar, ripping the seams. He shouted pointing at the marks on them both.
The women had hands over their mouths and then men's eyes widened in shock.
Jamie was also caught be surprise and lifted a hand as Murtagh rose to his feet. His godfather froze as Jamie set his jaw. It was then he noticed Lizzy crouched, trying desperately to cover herself and the scars that very few people had seen much less knew about. His own back mirrored them, with more deep healed gouges. He rose to his feet, shirt in rags, and knelt behind her, pulling her into his arms protectively as he pulled off his shirt and wrapped it about her to cover her somewhat. His uncle had not damaged the bodice, but he had her chemise under it. She looked like a whore at a brothel at that moment and Jamie was not pleased.
She was quaking and tears were in her eyes. He held her head to his shoulder, hiding her from the gaze of those about them, not caring about his own back, though he was not happy about that either.
It was quite one thing to abuse him, quite another to abuse his wife so.
Villagers were shocked by the sight of Jamie and Lizzy's scars. Lizzy's had more effect since she was a woman. Women were almost never flogged, at least not with anything that would permanently mark them.
Lizzy hid her face as Jamie rose to his feet, holding her protectively to him as villagers came up to them. He answered a couple of their questions with curt replies. One older woman who came to his elbow gently caressed his back as though trying to soothe him. It had anything, but that effect.
Ned collected the coins as the villagers filed out after the shocking display.
Jamie led Lizzy to a seat and gently spoke to her in French as she held her bodice up. Murtagh was watching the pair of them as Jamie caressed his wife's back to soothe her. Her husband pressed a kiss to her hair.
Murtagh then removed his vest and gave it to Lizzy to use to cover herself more. She nodded, grateful, wrapping it about herself, letting the torn shirt drop.
"I'm sorry." Jamie whispered to her as he stared forward angrily for not preventing her shaming.
The villagers left leaving the party as well as those who worked in the inn.
"Aye." Ned said lifting the bag of coin.
"Aye, Weel enough." Dougal agreed. "It's not a great deal, but we cannot expect much from a small place like this still." Dougal handed it back. "Tis a pure decent sum." He walked back to Jamie and Lizzy. "'n' wi' th' young loue bird's backs tae shaw." He patted Jamie's arm. "Tis dosh in th' bank guaranteed."
Lizzy shivered and shook her head.
Jamie stiffened, jaw setting.
Dougal looked at Lizzy as she sat there. "Ye lassie. Yer scars ur mair telling aboot howfur tairible th' redcoats ur. Thank ye."
She looked up at him, eyes narrowed, breaths sharp. Jamie laid a hand on her, worried she might leap up and attempt to harm Dougal. She had the look of a dog who had been teased too long and might bite his master's throat.
Dougal did not take the hint and he took Jamie's shirt from where it had fallen to the floor. "Be a guid lass. Git needle 'n' thread. Mend that 'n' yer ain, eh?"
"Mend it yourself." she managed, not moving, though both Jamie and Murtagh were coiled ready to grab her if she sprang up in anger. She did, however, aim the shirt in a ball at the man. It fell clear of him, but it was clear had it been something more solid like a rock, it likely would have found it's aim between his eyes.
"Ah'ament bloody daein' it. Th' laddie 'n' ye kin wear rags fae noo oan. Ah dinnae care." Dougal said drinking the last of his drink.
She rose to her feet. Jamie looked at her. The want to kill was out of her expression now, but she looked exhausted, fatigued, and in need of rest. "Fine. Give it here." She hissed.
She walked to where it was from where she threw it back at him.
Her husband reached passed her, lifting it with one arm, and taking her arm with the other. He led her upstairs to their room. He bolted the door and she pulled off her dress and then went to her saddlebag, finding a study needle and thread. She moved to the candles on the table and squinted through her tears at the fabric. Her stitches were large as she started to cry.
He came to her as she poked herself and gasped in pain.
"Oh, lass." Jamie whispered.
He took her finger and sucked on it as blood welled, gently taking her other hand and holding it. He took her in his arms and held her tenderly. His hand went to her hair and back as he sucked on her finger, tasting the coppery taste of her blood in his mouth. She sobbed in earnest at the betrayal of Dougal. She had seen some of the faces. Some of those in their party had no idea she had been flogged and they were just as startled, including Ned. The faces of pity. She didn't want that. She had kept her scars a secret from most people. Few enough knew. Jamie didn't look at her with pity when he saw them, regret and deep love.
After a time she quieted and he gently pulled her finger from his mouth, seeing the wound has stopped bleeding, and then kissed it softly. He set the needle, thread, his shirt, and chemise on the table. He then kissed her mouth and rose to his feet, lifting her in his arms. He crossed to the bed and stood her up, stripping her of her remaining petticoats, and then gently lying her in the bed. He pulled off his boots, belt, kilt, and weapons before climbing into bed with her.
He moved over her, entering her gently as she opened her legs to him, wanting to feel safe, reassured, and loved. Jamie gave her all she wanted and more as he leaned on his arms above her head on the pillows, leaning down to kiss her as they moved together.
Jamie moved languidly, allowing the feelings to build and finally they both succumbed to the bliss that only lovers could feel in each other's arms. He collapsed on her, panting, eyes closed. After a few moments, he lifted himself and moved to the side, lying beside her and gathering her to him.
"Mah wee milkweed." He said softly. "Rest noo." He murmured into her hair as he fitted her against his body, wrapping his arms about her to keep her safe and warm.
ZzZ
Morning came and Lizzy found she was alone in the bed. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking. Jamie was there, in his kilt and boots, just finishing sewing his shirt. He looked over at his wife and smiled. "Guid mornin', Mo chridhe."
She rubbed her eyes like a child and then rose to her feet, naked, walking to him. "What are you doing?"
He smiled. "A've bin mending."
He lifted her chemise to her. One could hardly see where it had been ripped. She was amazed that his skill at mending was likely better than her own. She stared at the cloth a moment. "Thank you." she said. She felt less of a woman that he could do better and she looked down.
He reached a hand to her chin. "Dinnae fash yersel'. 'twas na trauchle. Ah hud tae learn some skills whin oan mah ain ."
She nodded.
"Och, ah loue ye, Lizzy. Sae muckle."
She nodded and lifted her face for a kiss, which he gave, hands going to her breasts. How easily he could just go back to bed and lose himself in her body once more.
She moved pulling it on and then her petty coats and bodice. He pulled on his shirt, vest, tweed, and his weapons.
They walked down together for breakfast. He subconsciously put himself between her and Dougal as their uncle looked up at them.
They ate and then mounted. Jamie lifted Lizzy onto her horse and smiled, his hands on her thigh a moment.
"Ye sae bonny." He said looking up at her.
She leaned down and kissed him. "All men should have daughters." She told him.
"Aye?" He asked.
"It puts honey on their tongues."
He laughed and slapped her rump playfully. She gasped and some of the other men smirked at the love play of the pair. Jamie and Lizzy were young and still very much in love and not likely to stray from each other.
They rode some time, camping for the night near a small stream. Lizzy watched the men about her fall asleep one by one after supper, but she remained awake. She had an extra strip of tartan that a kind woman had given Jamie on their way out to keep her warm and as an apology for what she had suffered. She had it over her head as she sat, watching the flames.
She heard voices and realized they were Dougal and Jamie arguing. She knew Jamie had sentry duty this night and so had not expected him to come to their tent. However, she knew that he figured her long asleep.
"Th' de'il tak' ye, Dougal MacKenzie." Jamie growled. "Kinsmen or nae, ah dinnae owe ye this."
"Ah seem tae recall a certain oath o' obedience." Dougal countered.
Lizzy pushed back her head cover and moved to the edge of the camp. They pair were by a small fire, standing watching each other. Lizzy hunkered down to watch.
"Sae lang as mah feet rest oan th' lands o' clan MacKenzie." Dougal quoted.
"Ah gave mah word tae Colum, nae tae ye." Jamie said.
"Tis yin 'n' th' identical, laddie, 'n' ye ken it weel." Dougal growled. "Ootdoors Leoch, a'm Colum's heid, hauns, as weel as his legs."
Lizzy crouched listened and watching, hoping she would not have to break up a fight between the pair, but ready to do so as she had before.
"Ah ne'er saw a better trial o' th' richt haun nae knowing whit th' left wis up tae." Jamie countered as he stood, plaid wrapped around himself.
"The MacKenzies, the MacBoelains, the MacVinishes..." Dougal started. "None kin forced thaim tae gie against thair wull." He stood, hand on his dagger, looking at his nephew facing away. "Bit we hae something in common." Jamie turned to him, listening also. "We waant oor king back whaur he belongs." Dougal cocked his head. "Dinnae ye? ye hae mair tae gain fae a sleepy one throne than ah dae. If ye dinnae wantae save yer ain silly neck..."
Jamie growled and moved to face his uncle. "Mah neck is ma ain concern 'n' sae is ma back!"
"Nae while ye travel wi' me sweet lad." Dougal said evenly.
"Ah wull nae hae ye uise mah guidwife fur display. Uise me, if ye mist fur yer coin, bit she is aff stoaps." Jamie said.
"How come? na harm dane..."
"Na harm? ye shamed th' lassie fernent strangers 'n' worse fernent fowk wha ken her 'n' didnae ken she hud bin sae abused." Jamie watched his uncle. "She wept fur hours efter fur o' howfur hurt she wis. Ah wull nae allow it tae happen again."
Dougal took a breath. "She is yer guidwife 'n' ye kin say whit happens tae her." He looked at him. "Bit ah wull uise yer scars as ah see fit, lad."
Jamie's eyes narrowed as Dougal moved. Jamie watched him go back up to the camp. Lizzy moved, getting out of sight as Dougal stocked by within a few feet of her.
Lizzy moved down, in the shadows, watching her husband as he threw back his plaid angrily and went to a large oak tree and punched it. He winced, but did it again, welcoming the pain over the anger he felt.
He paused and took a breath. "Ye kin come oot. Ah ken yer thare, mo gràidh." He said.
She did, walking into the firelight to look at him, her plaid about her arms like a shawl.
"He'll do that again, use you like that?" Lizzy asked.
"Aye." Jamie nodded, not turning to face her yet. "Aye, it gets him whit he wants, ye see." He said turning to face her.
"And you'll let him?" She asked sitting on a log, looking up at him.
"He's mah uncle ye ken weel." He nodded a little. He walked forward toward her. "A jimmy haes to...to wale whit's worth fightin' fur." He sat down beside her. "As ye ken weel. A' tae weel, mibbie." He said. He watched her. "Best git some kip. Ye wull need it." He said.
"Yes, of course." She looked at him as she rose to her feet. "Try not to hit any more trees." She said wondering if she would need to tend to his bruised knuckles.
"Dinna fash yirsel. Trees ur safe, Lizzy." He said looking up at her and smiling.
"Good night." she said.
"Oidhche mhath." He said to her.
She lifted a hand and he took it and kissed it before pulling her down for a kiss, which she took before she walked away. He watched her go before settling to keep watch for the night.