Attachment Syndrome

Chapter 38:

"What about this one?"

He sighs and looks down through the glass countertop, following the direction of Alexis' pointed finger. The diamond is beautiful, a square-cut with small clusters to either side. But it just doesn't say "Kate."

"I don't know," he grumbles, turning to lean against the counter.

The poor attendant left them alone about ten minutes ago. He's not in his most charming mood, he'll admit.

"Dad," Alexis says, giving him a pitying look.

"They're just not right," he says, beseeching. "And Kate's at her place now, packing up boxes, and I just thought—I don't know," he trails off.

"You thought it would be perfect, huh? She'd pack a bit, go to work, and come home to a rose-strewn loft?"

"No," he says petulantly. She raises an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe, but still."

Alexis laughs. "Okay. Maybe we try somewhere else?"

"I guess," he sighs.

"Dad."

"I just—maybe we need to go home, scrap this, do it another day."

Alexis groans and grabs his wrist before dragging him out of the store, a shout of thanks tossed over her shoulder to the beleaguered guy behind the jewelry counter. They step out onto 5th avenue and he squints in the sunlight.

"Okay," Alexis says, looking up and down the street. "Where did you go for Gina's ring?"

He scrubs a hand over his face. "Here. Um, Bloomingdales, Saks, Tiffany's. But I feel like Kate—I want something more unique for Kate than the ring of the year, you know? Gina's was…massive."

Alexis snorts. "That's not the store's fault. That was just Gina. Why didn't we start at Tiffany's? You know they have everything. We'll find something special."

"It just feels—"

"Weird?" Alexis supplies as she steers him down the street in the right direction.

"Yeah," he agrees.

"Because this isn't what you thought you'd be doing last year?"

He laughs. "Yes."

Alexis shakes her head and wraps her arm in the crook of his elbow. "That doesn't mean that you can't find her a beautiful ring like a normal person."

"But she's—"

"Special," Alexis supplies with a nod. "Do you want to do a non-traditional ring?"

"No," he says quickly.

He may feel weird walking into Tiffany's to find a ring for Beckett, but she deserves a big sparkly rock, and a big white wedding, if she wants one. She's…a one-and-done kind of girl. This is her one. And just because he's done this twice before—gone and searched the cases for the perfect sparkly ring twice before—doesn't mean that she should be robbed of that perfect moment.

Just because he's done this twice before doesn't mean this time won't be perfect.

After all, he's got his kid with him this time. His kid, who was so much littler the last time he did this. This time, she's helping him find the ring. This time, she's dragging him across Tiffany's toward the counter at the back, her eyes alight as they comb over the cases together.

He's not just asking to bring someone into her home. She's helping him keep his someone in their home. His someone helps her with her hair, and her applications, and her boys. His someone fits into their life.

He may have done this twice before. But he's never done this for Kate.

Suddenly, the ring cases look more appealing and he can feel the butterflies coming back into his stomach. This is the last ring he's ever going to buy.

(…)

"Well?" Martha asks as they come through the door to the loft.

He shakes his head but pulls the ring box out of his pocket, heading for the table, where is mother and Jim sit with his baby. He chuckles as Jim sets the spoon back into the container of baby food and Johanne seems to sag with relief. She eats, but still doesn't like it much.

Castle hands the ring box to his mother and stoops down to scoop Johanne out of her highchair. "Hey pretty," he sing songs, pressing a smacking kiss to her cheek.

The baby giggles and pats his shoulder. "Dada."

"Yeah," he agrees. "Lexi and I went and got your mommy something pretty. You have to promise not to swallow it."

"Exi!" the baby repeats with a grin.

"Oh my," Martha exclaims.

He glances down and finds Jim and his mother side-by-side, staring down at the round diamond inset between two clusters of smaller stones, all sitting on a platinum band. It cost him a fortune, but it's worth it. It's gorgeous, if he does say so himself.

"Richard, it's beautiful," his mother says, glancing up at him.

"Stunning," Jim adds. "Katie's going to love it."

He lets out a relieved breath. He thinks she will, but it's always nice to have a second opinion. He smiles and takes the box back from Martha, snapping it shut before Johanne can reach out for the ring.

"You can play with it once it's on mommy's finger, huh?" he suggests.

Johanne whines as he pockets the box, but Alexis flits over, holding out the Tiffany's bear she just had to get for her little sister. Johanne squeals and lunges for Alexis. They pass her off and Alexis bounces her back toward the living room.

"How did packing go?" Castle asks, scooping up the baby food and dish before heading toward the sink.

"Katie got about ten more boxes done. She's getting Javier to help her bring them back over tonight."

"Bet he's happy about that," Castle says with a laugh.

Jim shrugs. "I offered but she didn't want me to hurt my back."

"I told her we could just get movers once she's done with all the boxes."

Her father smiles and shakes his head, popping his and Martha's dishes into the dishwasher. It's strange to see her father so comfortable in his kitchen—strange but nice.

"She says she wants to start getting things here," Jim tells him. "Wants to make this as real as possible before Friday." Castle can't stop his grin at that. "Seems like you do too."

Castle swallows. "Um," he manages.

Jim laughs. "You hardly have to ask my permission, son."

Castle forces out a chuckle. It didn't even occur to him to ask, or even give the man a heads up. He assumes his mother did though, since the ring wasn't a surprise. "Jim, I—"

"Rick," the man says, giving him a soft look. "I've known this was coming since the first night you showed up at Katie's to see the baby. You make a lovely family."

"Thanks," Castle gets out. "I—yeah. I'm very grateful that she let me."

"She's equally grateful that you wanted to," Jim assures him. "Do you know when you want to ask?"

"No," he admits. "I—after the adoption, I suppose. But I don't know. She has this thing about how it should be."

"Really?" Jim wonders, the two of them watching as Alexis and Martha play with Johanne in the living room.

"Just—intimate," Castle admits uncomfortably. "It came up when Ryan was going to propose to Jenny. She nixed my whole…helicopter over the city idea." Jim snorts and Castle looks over to find him basically snickering. "What?"

"For Katie?"

"Oh, God, no," Castle says quickly. "No. It was for Ryan. But I might have thought of something bigger otherwise, you know?"

Jim nods, forcing himself to calm down. "It's really a formality at this point you know."

"I know," Castle agrees. "But we should still do it right. Just because she's living with me doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a wedding."

Jim smiles. "If not for her, you certainly owe me one."

Castle laughs, surprised, and Jim smiles. "Noted."

"Her mother would have killed both of you if you skipped a ceremony."

"Oh," Castle says, feeling himself paling. "I didn't realize—if I'd known, well, if she was aliv—I—"

Jim holds up a hand. "Not the living in sin, son." Castle nods, blowing out a breath. "But she always dreamed of seeing Katie as a blushing bride. I should at least get to see that, I think, for her."

Castle bobs his head. "Kind of want to see that myself," he admits.

Jim laughs loudly and claps him on the back. "Good. Let me know, when it happens."

"I'm sure there'll be a brunch," Castle assures him. "Or dinner. Some kind of big announcement."

"Of what?"

He spins around and finds Kate leaning against the counter. Shit.

"When…when did you get home?" he asks. Her face lights up at the word and he fights a grin.

"Just now. Stopped to see the girls. Your mother has found a voice that makes Josie fall over."

"That I have to see," Jim says before escaping the kitchen.

So much for solidarity.

"What announcement?" Kate wonders, walking around the counter to wrap her arms around his neck.

He takes a moment to steal a kiss from her mouth. When they break apart, they're both panting, a little caught up.

"Um," Kate manages, relaxing into him as he pulls her in so he can look over her shoulder at the living room.

"For the adoption," Castle fibs.

"Oh," Kate breathes out, turning her face into his neck and inhaling. "You smell like perfume."

He freezes. He got spritzed at least three times today, only once because they were after Alexis too. You'd think the teenage girl would be a buffer against the scent purveyors. But no.

"Shopping," he offers.

"Smells good. Know what it is?" Kate mumbles.

He laughs. "Not you," he supplies. "Like how you smell."

"Smell like dumpster," Kate says, pulling back.

"Still," he says with a small grin.

She shakes her head and pats his cheek before moving away. "I'm gonna shower."

"I'll join you," he says automatically. Because even with dumpster all over her, she does smell good, and he has a ring in his pocket, and she's been gone all day.

Kate laughs and puts a hand against his chest as he goes to follow. "Our parents are here. Tonight."

He sighs and grabs her hand, squeezing before he nods. "Tonight."

Later, when they lie together, sweaty and sated, he thinks about the ring hidden at the back of his bedside drawer, at the bottom of a little wooden box with a false bottom. He opens his mouth, and feels Kate go heavy against him.

He smiles and kisses the crown of her head. He'll find another moment.

He'll wait.

They'll adopt Johanne, get the all-clear from Goldstein, and then he can ask.

(…)

"You're making me dizzy," he says softly, watching as she paces.

"Well you're just sitting there," she bites out.

He bounces Johanne on his legs, smiling tightly as the baby reaches out a hand toward Kate. "Baby's waving at you, mommy."

Kate turns and looks at her daughter, tension breaking as she sags and walks back to them, sitting down in the uncomfortable chair beside him. "Hey, sweetheart," she says.

"Hi schnookums," he replies.

"So help me, Castle. I will hit you."

"Wow. And in the CPS office," he mumbles, handing the baby over. Kate's eyes go wide and she frantically glances up and down the empty hall.

He laughs softly and raises his arm to wrap around her tight shoulders as she cuddles the baby to her chest. Johanne goes complacently, her thumb in her mouth and head resting over Kate's heart.

"It's fine," he promises. "It'll be just fine. Brian says it's just forms, and we're honestly going to meet a judge in a conference room for a very short interview."

"Why are you so calm?" Kate nearly whines.

"Because we're getting our daughter today," he whispers into her ear, smiling as her face finally breaks into a grin. "And if you can take down all the bad guys I've watched you take down, we can make it through the next couple hours."

She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder. "Not feeling that badass right now."

He laughs and rubs her shoulder. "Always badass, Beckett. Just mom badass today."

She chuckles. They hear a door open down the hall and she straightens up to meet his eyes. "You ready?"

"Always," he whispers before they both stand up.

Brian Ludson walks up to them, a smile on his face. "Ms. Beckett, Mr. Castle," he greets. "And Josie, hello."

Johanne hides her face in Kate's chest and Kate laughs. "It's okay, bug. Brian's going to make everything perfect."

Brian nods. "That's what I'm here for. If you guys will follow me into my office, we can get your signatures and get the ball rolling."

They nod and trail up the hall behind him. Kate reaches out and grabs Castle's hand as they walk into the office, Johanne settled on her hip. He squeezes her palm and guides her into a chair before dropping the baby bag and taking his own seat.

Brian's office is small and cramped, but he's got a decent view of the village out his window. Castle looks around, smiling at the various pictures of Brian and happy looking families that adorn the walls.

Now that they know about Harper Kline and all the darkness she spread through the office, he's well prepared to like this kid who's helping them keep their daughter.

"So, I have the permanent guardianship papers all drawn up here. We'll have you sign these, and the judge will sign upon your meeting to clear the remaining holds, and you'll be all set."

"All set," Castle repeats. "No possible retractions, complications, anything?"

"Nothing," Brian assures them. He smiles as Johanne sighs, her little head lolling against Kate's chest. "You have taken wonderful care of this child, and we believe there is no reason to further withhold permanent legal guardianship from both of you."

"And we'll be equal guardians, right? I don't need to sign a consent to adoption form for Castle?"

"No," Brian agrees. "You're filing jointly, with equal legal claim to Johanne. If something should happen to either one of you, the other has complete legal right to keep her."

Castle watches as Kate nods, one of her hands sliding up to rub over her scar just to the side of Johanne's head. Brian smiles and slides two forms across the desk. Castle leans forward and signs his before gently bracing Kate's back while she cradles the baby with one hand and signs with the other. He watches the steady, loopy glide of her signature and smiles.

"If you'll follow me, I'll take you to our conference room," Brian says softly, standing and gesturing for them to precede him out of the room.

"There's nothing else?" Kate asks.

"Nothing," he says easily. "I'd like to meet with you again in a few months to check in, but that's just for me. I like to follow my cases, see the happy families."

Kate nods, smiling. Castle quickly grabs the bag before following her out of the room. He'll happily come back here to gloat about his beautiful daughter and, hopefully, by then, his beautiful fiancé.

When Brian opens the door to the conference room, Castle nearly laughs.

Judge Markaway stands beaming on the other side of the table. His poker buddy, dressed in a simple suit, is here to decide on the fate of his adoption. He's going to have to hug the crap out of Jordan Shaw one day. Or maybe pay for her daughter's college education. He has to make a note to put that together, definitely.

Brian hands Markaway the forms then smiles and ducks out. Castle watches, surprised. He figured Brian would be there for this.

"Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett," Markaway greets, gesturing to the opposite side of the table.

Castle sits down beside an equally surprised Kate and watches the man across from them as he looks at Johanne, still blissfully asleep against her mother's chest.

"I have to say, this is the highlight of my day," Markaway begins.

Castle and Kate laugh quietly at that. "Thank you for coming," Castle offers.

Markaway shakes his head. "No favors, Rick. Now. Do you both plan to care for this child as if she were your own?" They nod. "Support her financially?" He cracks a smile at that as they nod again. "Provide a loving, caring home?"

They both nod quickly and Kate reaches out for his hand. Castle takes it and threads their fingers together as they stare across the table at his friend.

"Then," Markaway begins, clicking his pen before quickly signing both forms. "I happily declare you a legal family. Congratulations."

Kate's hand is nearly a vice around his. "Thank you," she gets out.

Markaway smiles at them. "What you've done for this city—I am more than happy to give this back to you. You more than deserve it. And Castle, you owe us about five poker games."

Kate laughs as Castle shakes his head. Johanne starts on Kate's chest and whines. Markaway grins.

"I think that's my cue. I'll talk to both of you soon, and drop these with Mr. Ludson on my way out. Good luck to the three of you."

He leans across the table to shake both their hands and tap Johanne's nose before striding out of the room, paperwork in hand.

They're quiet for a long moment, Johanne's soft whimpers the only sound in the room. Kate strokes her hand along the baby's head and Castle beams.

They're a family. They're a legal family.

It takes him a moment to realize Kate's crying.

"Kate?" he prompts gently as Johanne nuzzles against her mother's chest.

"I," Kate manages, gulping in air. "Happy," she mumbles.

He laughs and reaches out to shuffle their chairs around so he can wrap the two of them in his arms. "I love you," he breathes against Kate's ear as she sniffles into his neck.

He pulls her back to frame her face in his hands. "We did it, Kate. It's over."

Kate nods and smiles, her eyes watery. "Yeah."

Johanne whines and Castle drops his hands to scoop her out of Kate's arms. "Did you hear the nice man, bug? You're ours. For ever, and ever."

Kate brushes her hand over the baby's back as he presses kisses to her little chubby cheeks. Johanne giggles.

He stands up, pulling Kate with him so he can tug her into her side, both of them looking down at the baby. Johanne plays with the buttons on his suit jacket, totally oblivious.

"You don't understand, but this is a big, big deal," he tells the baby.

Kate laughs and kisses his shoulder. "It is," she agrees. "But she doesn't care. She's just happy."

He smiles down at the baby. "Yeah, she is. And she's our happy baby."

"Ours," Kate agrees, resting there against him. "No turning back."

"Nope. This is for life," he agrees.

Kate leans into him, her body molded into his. She shifts and her hip digs into the ring box that's been in one of his pockets since Sunday.

This is for life.

"Marry me, Beckett?" he whispers, turning to meet her eyes.

Her mouth drops open as he shifts the baby around, digging into his suit pocket to pull out the ring box.

"I was going to wait until tonight, or tomorrow. Make it…special. But I—this, right here, with you and Josie, this is all I want. For life. For keeps. For always, Kate, will you marry me?"

Kate stares at him for a beat before her face lights up and she nods, wetting her lips before leaning close. "Yes," she whispers, her hand closing over his on the ring box.

Together, they manage to slip the ring out and get it onto her finger, Johanne grabbing at the ring and the box between them as they laugh.

Kate stares down at her hand, the diamond glinting in the sunlight pouring in through the large windows. Johanne grabs her hand and pulls it close.

"She's wanted it since I bought it," Castle admits.

Kate laughs and leans in to kiss her daughter, then arches up to mold her mouth to his. The kiss is deep and all too brief, before she's pulling back, tears in her eyes again as she circles them to stand chest-to-chest with him, the baby between them.

"She just wanted her mommy and daddy to get married, huh?" Kate offers, smiling up at him.

"Yeah," he agrees. "Make us one big legal family. Forms and sparkly rings and all."

"Doesn't matter," she promises.

"I know," he agrees. "But I wanted you to have the ring anyway."

Kate beams and strokes her hand over his cheek. "I wanted it too."

"I did good?"

Kate looks down at the ring, and then at their daughter before meeting his eyes, a grin spread wide across her face. "You did great, Castle."