Author's Note: Well, what can I say that hasn't been said a thousand times by me? I had the worst writer's block with this chapter. I honestly couldn't get it across like I wanted to for the last part of the chapter. I wanted it to go a certain way and it just wouldn't flow from my head to my hands the way I wanted it to. I wrote and rewrote it so many times, but finally I think I got it the way I sorta wanted it. I hope you guys enjoy. I know it's another chapter and I keep promising that the end will be nigh, and it shall! Hopefully one more chapter and then the epilogue :)
Chapter Thirty Six: Toridasu! (Get Out!)
After feeding the twins and getting food in her stomach, she dressed herself into something appropriate for her mood and prepared herself for the probable chaos in the throne room and the people needing her attention.
Bardock briefed her on the line waiting outside the palace of homeless, dirty, and starving Saiya-jins. After discussing it with her generals, they were admitted. Things had calmed down within the city and palace, Vegeta was safe, and Frieza was dead. Bulma couldn't think of anything else that could possibly go wrong. She prayed so, at least.
Striding in the throne room, flanked by Lord Bardock and Lord Turles, along with several of her guard, she made a stunning entrance wearing her battle damaged armor. There were murmurs through the crowd as they saw her torn blood red cloak float behind her and the hole in the chest so close to her heart.
She ascended the steps to the throne, taking the golden and bejeweled seat meant for her husband. The smaller, more feminine seat that was meant to be hers sat empty.
She spent several hours calming the people of the city and visitors from all over the planet. She was glad to inform them of the King's return, and the cheer that went up made her so proud. The people were relieved and happy.
She told them of the death of Lord Frieza and that his tyranny was over. It was time for Vegeta-sei to begin anew—yet again. Once several other important things were stated, she began hearing from both peasants and lords both.
By the time almost everyone had been heard, she had accepted ten new ladies-in-waiting from several lords, aided families that were starving, that didn't have homes, and needed medical aid. She made appointments for new hiring in the palace, and made it known that anyone on the planet could apply, not just the city of Versai. They needed hundreds of new people in the palace to fill the vacancies. Some of the jobs were difficult for her to announce—such as new royal guard positions...and a nanny. She mused aloud that more than likely she would be hiring several women for nursery positions, because with there being two babies, it was a lot of work. The people laughed in understanding.
She kept it to herself that no one could do the job quite like Nana, no matter who they were or how amazing they were. The lump in her throat took a while to clear.
She also figured that since Vegeta was going to be recovering for a while, that she was going to be the head of the planet for a bit longer. She would, unfortunately, have to spend time away from her babies.
She stated that there was going to be a huge need of new jobs, to repair the damage done to cities, feed the homeless, build new homes, roads, just everything. She was going to have envoys sent all over the planet to recruit for these needs. With her father planet-side, she knew that his genius mind could help with upgrades to the city and their typical, yet ancient and outdated Saiya-jin way of life.
The last caller was not who she expected. When Lord Brolli appeared, it was with his tiny daughter next to him. She stilled on her throne when she saw him approach. He bowed before her, and she told him to rise.
"My Lord, what can I do for you?" she said, forcing herself to swallow the emotions clogging her throat. How could he do this to her here, in public? There were hundreds of people looking on. Many knew of her love for this man. She had tried to keep it as private as possible, but rumors spread. The whispers in the crowd were testament to that.
He went down on his knee and she drew in a deep breath to steady herself. "My Queen, I have served you faithfully as your advisor for many months now. I thought I had lost everything, but my daughter has been returned to me. Like you said, everything has changed. I respectfully request to resign from my position as royal advisor, and take up the seat of the former Lord Yamcha, where I can raise my daughter in peace."
She wasn't shocked, but she was at the same time. For this man, who so vehemently loved her, to just give up at the return of her husband...well, it was hard for her to grasp. She knew, and she assumed that he knew, that she could never love him if she knew Vegeta was alive. She was Queen, things weren't easy for her. She couldn't just up and leave, even if she wanted to. The love they had shared, however short it had been, had been needed. If she was honest with herself, she doubted she could have gotten through the war without this man at her side. When she had told Vegeta that Bardock and Turles had been the reason she had gotten through everything, she hadn't been lying, but she had been omitting one other man. Brolli.
Her heart clenched at the sight of this defeated man, who had gone down on one knee with his hand over his heart. His daughter stood by him, clinging to his cloak. She was clearly afraid of her surroundings but wanted to be good for her daddy.
The things they had shared were stark in her memory. Their closeness and warmth, the enormous amount of caring he had done for her. He had done anything and everything for her. He had even been willing to accept two children that weren't his. He had helped birth her babies. He had taken care of her in ways that no one would ever know, or would ever even understand.
The lump in her throat returned. She could not betray herself in front of so many people.
"My Lord, if you will, adjourn with me to my office. Court is over, thank you everyone for your time. Next court session will be held tomorrow at noon." Everyone bowed and curtsied, and left. The noise rose instantly, and Bulma knew she was the subject of the gossip. She hoped it wasn't too damaging. Or that it would reach Vegeta before she had the chance to finally tell him the truth.
Brolli followed her with his daughter to the secret room behind the throne. This room was where Bulma had found the will Vegeta had left her, willing the planet and all that was his to her in the case of his death. It was not a normal occurrence, for Queens were not rulers in the eyes of the Saiya-jin people. The throne would have gone to a distant cousin or something instead of her, but he had changed that.
The room was no longer destroyed, but tidy and clean-smelling. She walked over to the desk and ran her fingers over the rich wooden surface.
"Brolli," she began, closing her eyes and drawing in a deep breath before she turned back to him.
He was so stiff. She wanted to go to him, but knew she could no longer. It hurt her to see him like this. She still loved him, she still cared for him, but not like she did for Vegeta. Vegeta would always be first in her heart and mind.
"Everything that you want will be granted. You will be the richest man on this planet besides the King himself," she said, and when he went to protest, she silenced him. "I want you to do good things with that money, Brolli. I know what type of person you are. It will be years before this planet is recovered from what has happened. You can be the help I need on the other side of the planet. You know Vegeta-sei is the largest planet in this system. Undoubtedly there are towns and villages that didn't even know there was a plague, let alone a war. But there are many places that have been devastated. I want your help in fixing the wrongs that have been done. And I want you to raise your daughter in a utopia. She deserves it, and so do you."
He drew in a ragged breath. "Bulma...I-I thank you. Words cannot express...damn it; I don't know what to say right now. Do you understand...how hard this is for m-me?"
The tears came to his eyes then. He was such a sensitive man, always had been, and it was so hard for her to not run to him and hold him, to tell him how sorry she was, to tell him that it would be alright, because she would be lying. It would be a lie, because she wasn't entirely sorry and she knew it wouldn't be alright for him. He had lost everything, including her now, and the only thing saving him from himself now was his daughter. How grateful she was for that little girl right now, calmly standing next to him.
"I know," she whispered brokenly. "Brolli, I wish...I wish that I could convey to you what I really want to say and what I wish I could do. But I can't now. Not now. And not ever again. I know you understand that, and I know that is why you are leaving." She drew in a deep breath. "You know that I have been having...repressed memories return lately. That things have been hard for me since I came back to the palace. That feelings that I had believed gone were haunting me. It is only by the gods' will that somehow, someway, Vegeta has returned to me. I think that even if Vegeta had not returned, I probably would have ended our relationship. Between running the planet, the twins, and the eternal love that I have for him, I think I would not have been able to love you the way that I should have. I'm sure you know that. It would have been wrong of me to keep you. I would have pined myself to death over Vegeta, and gone to the grave with that love still in my heart."
She looked away because she could not stand the destroyed expression on his handsome face. "But I can tell you this. I do not regret what happened between us. I needed you. I loved...love you. A part of me will always love you, Brolli. You did for me what no one else could have in those times. I can never thank you enough for everything you did for me. You will always have a place in my heart."
His arms came around her from behind then. She closed her eyes and let the tears escape that she had hoped wouldn't come. The hug was quick, but fierce. Several moments later, when she turned around, he was gone.
Bardock and Turles were waiting for her when she left the private room. She had cried raw and ugly after he left, but only for a few desperate moments. The pain that she had inflicted upon Brolli was immeasurable. But when she told Vegeta...what would happen? What would he do? Would he hate her? Would he understand?
She feared the answers.
The men escorted her to her suite, where she slammed the doors in their collective faces. She heard one of them clear their throat and the other laugh, so she didn't feel as bad.
She fed the twins and played with them for a bit. Already there were three new young ladies waiting to introduce themselves to her. She greeted them, let them meet the princes, and thanked Lady Ahri and Lady Shiori for their care of the twins while they waited for new nannies. They just smiled, and Bulma knew they didn't mind. They loved the boys.
Bulma left her suite to go see her husband in the infirmary. Bardock and Turles fell in behind her and she rolled her eyes but laughed to herself. She could never be alone when these two were awake.
Vegeta had enjoyed another brief stay in the regeneration tank while she had been taking care of matters. When she saw him, he was just leaving the tank and was being dressed in another flimsy infirmary gown.
The stare he bestowed her with made her blush but feel extreme pride all the same. He was clearly stunned at the sight of her in her armor. Then she saw his eyes drift down to the hole in the armor on her chest, from the wound she had received in Tibernoa so long ago. His mouth thinned and his eyes darted back up to her face, almost as if he was panicking but couldn't show her or tell her.
She dismissed Bardock and Turles, but allowed the two nurses to stay as they went over his body to check for how well he healed during his session. Bulma watched as they probed his bones lightly with their fingers, asking him to move this way and that. It was obvious he wanted to talk to her, ask her what had happened, but he had to let it go.
She noted that he was standing, which was good. He stated he felt no pain in his legs, but his one arm, which had needed surgery in several places, was still bothering him. They replaced the temporary cast and then began inspecting his collar bone, which had been snapped clean in half at some point, and had healed incorrectly.
That was when Bulma saw his tail hanging limply behind him. Her hand moved to her mouth to prevent herself from gasping out loud. His tail...was it permanently damaged?
His collar bone was tender still. The Saiya-jin nurses nodded, but instead of putting the binding instrument back on, they instead wrapped his shoulders with some kind of stiff bandaging.
Bulma struggled with herself when they looked at his tail. His head was hung low as they took hold of it gently. His whole body was stiff, like he was afraid to move, or maybe afraid that they would hurt him. It bothered her to watch their two tails swaying back and forth while his was essentially dead.
They checked all the vertebrae and moved it in every direction. They asked him several times to try to move it. He just shook his head.
Bulma could no longer stand by and watch the damage these nurses were doing to her husband's pride. She ordered them to leave. They curtsied and scurried away.
She placed her hand on the middle of his back before she sat on the bed he was leaning against. He refused to look at her.
"It will take time, Vegeta. But we will make sure that we have the best doctors and surgeons to fix your tail," she said, gently caressing his arm. He finally looked at her.
"I may leave the infirmary at any time now that I can walk."
Avoiding the subject. She smiled grimly. At least he didn't ask her about her past wounds. "Of course."
Reintroducing Vegeta to palace life was a slow process. At first all he did was sleep. And sleep. Even after being in the regeneration tank for several sessions, he still slept. It amazed Bulma how much he slept, but she knew it was only healing him and doing him good. The doctors had him on several medications to help with pain and the gods only knew what else, and she was informed that it would also make him tired.
She did not sleep in the same room as him. Between not wanting to wake him from the twins getting up several times a night to feed, she felt somewhat awkward even thinking about sleeping in the same bed as him with the issue of Brolli hanging between them. At first he had protested when he had come to their suite, for he had wanted to have her next to him, and she had to bite her lip around the lies she told him to get him to sleep alone. She slightly exaggerated how many times the twins woke up at night, and told him that she wanted him to get good sleep instead of him constantly being awoken by crying babies. She promised him it would only be a few nights. He had seemed upset and pale when she had told him he would sleep alone, and she had figured out why quickly.
He had terrible nightmares. More than once she had found herself running into the connecting room, thinking someone was killing him. His choked cries and screams, the struggling amongst the blanket and sheets, and then...the tears...they ripped at her heart. She could only surmise that he thought he was still captured and being tortured in these dreams. When she would shake him awake, his eyes would be so wide, so filled with terror, that it would literally hurt her soul. He would bury his face in his hands, trying to hide the tears, but she knew he was crying from fear. From happiness. And then he would sleep again as if it never happened.
He never spoke of it during his waking hours, which were few anyhow. For four days all he did was sleep, eat, and bathe. Doctors would come to his suite to check on him and then leave, telling her to let him rest and rebuild.
He ate more food than she had ever seen him eat, even after the plague when he had been nearly all skin and bones. He shoveled everything he could into his mouth. The sheer amount of fluids he drank stunned her.
One night a doctor answered her unasked questions as she timidly watched him be examined without him being aware. "He's more than likely going to do things to the absolute extreme for a while, my Queen. He was deprived so massively of food, fluids, possibly forced to stay awake for days. He was subjected to constant freezing temperatures. It would surprise me if they ever let him bathe during his time there. Please understand and just let him do what he needs to do. It will calm down eventually. If anything it is helping him. His body is healing and regaining weight remarkably, even without regeneration."
He would spend a good hour bathing, sometimes twice a day. Bulma just did what she could to make sure he was comfortable. Once she was informed of his intense need to bathe, she made sure he had every luxury one could have while bathing. She had Bardock fetch the most opulent towels, had the same person play music for him that seemed to entertain Turles while he bathed on occasion, and made sure someone was standing by with treats and sweet drinks.
She had a few of the more friendly-type guards stationed around the room, both inside and out, along with a standby maid for anything he might need, rotating every few hours. These people were also constantly informing her of any changes or situations. More or less, they were her spies.
She had food and drink sent to his room every two hours. There was always a fire lit in the fireplace, for both warmth and soothing light. One of the maids told her one night that it seemed like His Highness was always cold. He would shiver uncontrollably in his sleep, even when she would bury him with blankets. It was moments like that when it was hard for her to not break down at the horrors Vegeta must have gone through to be experiencing all these extreme behaviors. She just told the maid to always make sure there were warm clothes, blankets, and a fire built up.
After the second day, once she saw how bad his nightmares were, she told Turles to return to his King's side. He had been the head of the King's guard before they had been attacked, and she knew it was time he went back to his job. She hugged him when no one was around and touched his face, thanking him for everything. Then she told him that Vegeta needed him now, not her.
Turles had been clearly reluctant, but he nodded and hugged her back, making her laugh at how hard he squeezed her. He told her unceremoniously that he would be stalking her periodically.
On the third day, Bulma began adding more maids and guards to somewhat "reintroduce" Vegeta to being catered to and being around people. Apparently he ignored them at first, but eventually accepted them after a few days as he adjusted to palace life. Then Bulma heard the good news on the seventh day: he yelled at one of them for being an idiot. Bulma nearly danced with joy.
She, meanwhile, was incredibly busy. Between the babies, hiring staff, guards, and nannies, then new ladies-in-waiting showing up every day—there was always things going on in the palace, court to hold, meetings to go to—there was almost never a break for her. At the end of the day, once the princes were asleep and Vegeta was as well, she took some time for herself to go out to her old hideout Queen Hokora had built for her and practiced with her sword.
By the time she fell into bed at night, she was dead exhausted. Then the twins would wake up two to three times every night. Some nights were worse and they would wake up even more. Vegeta waking up screaming from nightmares usually occurred three or four times a night. By the time morning came, she felt even more exhausted than she had before she had gone to sleep. Thankfully, her four new nannies would take the twins in the morning and let her sleep an extra two hours or so. That was the only way she would be able to stay awake during her busy schedule. Sometimes she was able to sneak in a quick nap when she fed the twins throughout the day.
As the days passed, the weight of needing to tell Vegeta about Brolli grew. The man was constantly sleeping, and when he was awake, it was to bathe or be examined by the doctors. Sometimes they worked with him to regain his physical abilities and strengthen his body once more. His bones were healed and he had undergone several more surgeries to correct some more issues and to remove scars that bothered him.
She was so occupied that it was nearly impossible to see him even if she wanted to anyhow. She received updates about him all day, letting her know what he was doing. Bulma suspected that he was also receiving updates about her if seeing Turles peeking around corners was any indication.
Within a week of Vegeta's return and Frieza's official death, the city was under major reconstruction and so was every city damaged on the planet. People were pouring in looking for jobs and Bulma had to ship thousands of Saiya-jins to other locations needing manpower.
People were being fed food coming in from Anausia-sei and what was available planet-side. What was coming in was mostly from tropical areas not touched by the frozen creatures. The other planets under Vegeta-sei's control were also finally arriving in small missionary ships.
Homes were being rebuilt, children's bellies were full, and everyone was being healed and given medicine. Everything was on the right track; it would just take time for everything to go back to normal.
Including her marriage.
Her father had returned earlier in the day from the city of Jighu to inform her of its progress personally and the work being done there. The first attack had occurred there, at the most beautiful palace Bulma had ever seen in her life. It was honestly one of the first places she wanted to have repaired, because she would love to return to that gorgeous haven soon. It had so many good memories for her, including the conception of her twins.
Her father, upon seeing her exhaustion and the need for a break, told her to take the rest of the day off and he would handle matters of state. He patted her cheek and told her he would let her know if anything important happened.
A smile on her face, Bulma immediately went to the royal suites, telling Bardock to take the rest of the day off as well. He smiled and trotted off. He was looking a little worn around the edges himself.
It about time for the twins' nap, so she fed them and helped put them to sleep. She was planning on taking a nice long nap herself, with both of the babies snuggled next to her, but right before she fell asleep, she heard the creak of a door opening.
She bolted upright, prepared to reach for the sword hidden behind the headboard.
Vegeta was peeking through the crack in the opening the door made. He was looking into the room like he was afraid or like he shouldn't be there. His eyes fell on the two sleeping babies next to her, then met hers. She lifted her finger to her lips to signal to be quiet, and she saw him nod before he came into the room.
When he came closer to the bed, she gave him her hand to help her off. She moved slowly so as not to wake the twins. Neither stirred.
Vegeta stared down at the innocent faces curled up on the enormous bed. Trunks was even snoring a little. Bulma saw a huge amount of longing on his face, and guilt began seeping into her heart.
After letting him watch them for a moment, Bulma motioned for him to stay and went to the other room next door, where the nursery was. Two of the new nannies were in there, cleaning up and waiting for anything she might need. She told them quietly that she was leaving and to keep an eye on the twins. They curtsied and nodded.
A part of her knew that this was it. That this was the moment that she was going to tell him.
She immediately felt sick and began sweating.
When he closed the door behind him with a light click, she tried to pretend she was busy with fixing her long hair by running her fingers through it. Instead he ended up behind her, close enough that she could feel him against her back. She heard him draw in a deep breath, and knew that he was smelling the flowery aroma of her aqua locks.
She moved away awkwardly and mumbled incoherently under her breath. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that the look on his face was stunned, and then firm, like he had decided on something suddenly. She feared she knew what it was. She wandered over to the low fire burning and warmed her hands, even though it was stifling in the room and she was sweating profusely.
The quiet voice behind her made her jump. "I have been waiting a week now for you to return to our bed, Bulma. Yet not only are you next to impossible to find or see during the day, but you have been locking the door between our rooms at night. I...feel like you are avoiding me," he stated reluctantly, coming to stand next to her. Her gaze flitted to his, and then quickly darted away.
It was as if everything that she had prepared in her mind was gone. The speeches she had planned out and the carefully coordinated moves. Gone, instantly. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth and she felt claustrophobic in the immense room. Breathing became difficult the closer he got to her.
She felt like she needed to stay away from him. Like with him being close to her it somehow made it worse. It was almost as if her guilt was growing in intensity and size inside her, like a monster clawing at her. But he kept following her, no matter where she went in the room. It was then that she noted that all of the guards and maids were gone. He had planned this.
She swallowed and lifted a shaking hand to her forehead, trying to calm herself.
When she turned to look at him, he was staring at her. Desperation was clearly written in his features. And she knew exactly what it was for. Desperation for her to love him and be with him, to spend time with him. To share their babies together, for her to sleep next to him at night. To rule by his side. For everything that they had been before their separation and more. He needed her in a way that he never had before and she wasn't there for him.
While she watched him move nearer to her she saw that in the short amount of time he had been home that his body had strengthened considerably. A lot of his muscle mass had returned, but he was still thinner than she remembered him. The sharpness of his cheekbones had smoothed and she noticed definition in his shoulders and arms through the loose white shirt he was wearing. His pallor was mostly gone, and his olive complexion had returned for the most part. He had obviously been spending time outside.
When had this all happened? Horror crept up her spine and left illness in its wake. Had she deliberately been avoiding him? Immersing herself in palace duties, the twins, sword training? Had she purposefully been only seeing him at night whenever he was having nightmares in order to just avoid this situation entirely? Was she afraid of him? Afraid of intimacy of any kind with this man? What was she hiding from? From herself?
"Why have you been hiding from me?" she heard him whisper next to her ear. There was a slight tremor to his voice, and she knew that he was terrified of her answer.
She whipped around, her thick skirts twirling around her. Her face found her hands, and she fought the urge to sob. Her heart pounded violently in her chest. She wanted to vomit, and she kept swallowing to keep it down. She sucked in several breaths to keep calm, but it didn't really work.
Lifting her face from her hands, she stared at the callused, wet palms, the lines and a few faint scars. Proof of all the pain of the past. Her face hardened, but tears still managed to slide down her cheeks.
"I have feared this moment from the moment I first saw you alive," she said softly, refusing to face him. She swore she heard him draw in a deep breath. He was waiting.
"Vegeta...there was someone else."
The silence dragged on so long that she forced herself to turn around. He had moved the whole way across the room, and his face was stark white. His eyes were searching her face frantically, as if he was trying to find answers just by looking at her.
"W-what?" he choked, taking a step towards her, but then thinking better of it, stopped himself.
The hurt on his face broke her. She began walking towards him, desperate to make him feel better, but he refused to let her near him. She stopped chasing and tried to explain.
"Vegeta, please. Please listen. You were...you were dead, I thought you were gone. I was pregnant with the twins, lonely, scared. I was fighting a war. I was a Queen that no one wanted to accept. I had to fight every step of the way," she said anxiously, watching as he paced back and forth, his hands fisted in his hair.
He turned to look at her, his eyes dark and watery. She gasped at the expression on his face.
"Why?" he said, his whole body shuddering. His hands were in front of him, palms held outward in a grasping, clawing manner. She tried to step towards him, but he shouted, "Stay away from me!"
She felt more tears come to her eyes then. He was obviously fighting a terrible war inside of himself, and there was nothing she could do about it. She could only tell him the truth and try to explain herself.
"Vegeta, please—"
"How could you?" he interrupted, staring at her with dead seriousness. His eyes were dry. There was only anger now.
She tried to open her mouth, but he continued. "I sacrificed myself, Bulma. Did you know that? When I disappeared, it wasn't because I was captured. I knew shortly after I got out of that river that we were being watched. It was either going to be me or both of us. What man, what husband, would let their wife be captured? Their wife, pregnant with his child?" he said, staring her down. "I led the enemy away. I was almost killed getting him away from you. Stabbed, multiple times. But I still ran. The further away I could get him, the better chance you had of surviving."
He walked towards her, but still kept his distance. "I was subjected, Bulma, to the worst forms of torture you could imagine. I was starved, frozen, deprived of sleep for days at a time, beaten and whipped within an inch of my life. Skin was flayed from my body. Bones were broken. My nails were removed from my fingers—"
She shook her head, stepping backwards. She didn't want to hear anymore.
He grabbed her arms and shook her. Hard. "You will listen! I want you to hear everything I went through, but survived, so I could one day, be back at your side!"
Tears poured down her face as she hung in his grasp. "I was never going to tell you these things. I wanted you to go to your grave not knowing what I went through. But I think you need to know now."
She sobbed brokenly as he continued. "I had my tail broken bit by bit. Then they would purposefully heal my entire body just to destroy me again. They would drain me of nearly all my blood and let me die before they brought me back. I was stabbed, over and over again. They would leave my skin open and bleeding for weeks, so my body became infected and slowly died. They would only heal me enough to keep me alive. I died...over and over again. And I only came back because I had you."
She shoved at him, desperately fighting to break free of his painful grasp. He let her go, and she stood, her hand against her heart and tears dripping down her cheeks.
"Vegeta," she whispered, her red, swollen eyes lifting to his. His face was flushed and he was trembling, more than likely reliving everything that he had been through. She lifted her hand, but then dropped it.
"I can never explain or tell you how sorry I am. I can only tell you the truth," she said, her tone trembling. She stared at the spot above his shoulder, unable to meet his dark gaze.
"What happened was never my intention. I never actively sought him out. Nor him me. We were both destroyed individuals who had lost their family. We comforted each other in a friendly manner for the longest time. We were there for each other when no one else was. We understood each other."
Bulma saw him sneer and turn away. She continued, but rested her eyes on his back this time, hoping her gaze seared through him as she tried to convey her point. "I saw you die, Vegeta. Frieza killed you right in front of me. I was hysterical. Inconsolable. Dead inside. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to give up; there was nothing left to care for with you gone. I had nothing left to live for. But he made me see where I was wrong. I had the twins, and I had this planet. I was their Queen and I needed to protect them. I couldn't just give up."
She saw him turn towards her slightly. She had his attention. "Do you think I would have ever done this if I thought for a second you were alive? I fought at the beginning because I knew you were alive! That was the only reason. The generals wanted to take control away from me! A woman leading an army, how stupid! A woman as ruler of the planet? Never! She's just a brood mare, carrying the requisite heir!" she shouted, flinging her hands out at her husband. He was watching her now.
"It took me winning the biggest battle this planet has ever seen in order to gain their trust. I killed, Vegeta. I killed thousands of people. I watched our people die. I was almost killed myself. I almost lost my best friends. But I continued on because I had you. And then I lost you."
Her voice quivered at the end. "That was the worst day of my life. It was worse than the day your mother Queen Hokora died. It was worse than the day I was shoved down the stairs and I lost our first baby. I can't even put into words the amount of pure and utter devastation I felt when I saw your blood spray across the screen and the signal went dead."
He rubbed his hand across his forehead as if he was trying to contain himself. She could no longer tell how he was feeling.
"He was my support through it all. He helped the pain. The days and nights where I screamed because it hurt so badly. The nightmares I had picturing your death and the torture you went through. The dreams I had that felt like you were there, talking to me, comforting me. Holding my hand through the grief. Through the pain my body was going through as I carried your children. But then I would wake up, and he was there...not you."
He shook his head as if he didn't want to hear anymore, and she felt anger grow inside her. "You made me listen! You forced me to listen to the horrible things you went through! You will listen to what I have to say! You will listen to the torture I went through!"
She fisted her hands at her sides. "I led our people across the entire planet. Over the ocean, across continents. I found starving children, dead babies, raped women, and desperate men. Anything you can imagine. I saw it all. It should come as no surprise to you, since you did the same thing in the years we were apart after we were married, with you rampaging across the galaxy," she sneered. "I protected them all. I saved their lives. And at night, when I could no longer continue, he was there waiting for me, to comfort me and make me understand that what I was doing was right. That even though my heart was dead inside my chest, that I should continue."
She drew in a deep breath. "And then slowly my heart didn't hurt all that bad anymore. It never healed completely, but it helped. He helped. He was there and he loved me."
The words made Vegeta flinch. His dark eyes lifted to hers, and it nearly struck fear into her heart at his expression. "Stop."
"No!" she screamed, fisting her hands once more. "I fell in love with him, Vegeta! He was all I had! A peasant, a man that knew literally nothing of our way of life, I ended up loving him! He fought by my side in every battle until I could no longer. He nearly sacrificed his own life to save mine multiple times. He delivered our children with his own hands. He comforted me in every way possible except one way."
He was nearly growling as he stared at her in disgust. "Did he not fuck you good enough? Was he not the man I was, making you scream? Were you—"
"How dare you," she hissed, nearly in his face. "I listened to everything you said with respect. Yet you say these things to me?"
He stared at her as if her words meant nothing. "Get...out."
She blinked and then gasped when he pointed not in the direction of her room, but outside, out of the palace.
"Take your brats, and leave. Get out, and never come back. When Prince Vegeta is weaned from your breast, I will retrieve him from you. You can keep Prince Trunks for yourself. He looks like a mongrel anyhow."
Hurt unlike anything she had ever felt before struck her right in the chest. Her hand over her heart, her eyes wide and filled with tears, she stepped back to look at him closer. Then, without a chance for him to react, she slapped him as hard as she could in the face, so hard that she dropped him to one knee before he caught himself.
He looked like he was ready to strike her in return, but he held himself in check. Instead, chest heaving, he yelled, "Get out, now! Before I kill you myself!"
She fled.