A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews- they are such a boost to keep me writing! Thanks too to the guest reviewers who I cannot thank personally (one or two guest reviews aren't showing up on this site for some reason but I do receive every one by email and I appreciate them all so much). Hope you enjoy this update x
Chapter 38
Mrs Carson stood outside Church chatting to the other parishioners. Charlie stood in front of his Ma, leaning back against her legs. She held his shoulder and every so often she would tickle him under the chin whilst she continued to chat to the Village women, making him giggle.
The Butler was talking to the Dowager and Lord and Lady Grantham. The Dowager was holding court, outlining her dread at the thought of the upcoming Season and all of the frivolities this entailed. Lord and Lady Grantham listened restlessly, having heard these groans several times before. However, Mr Carson nodded formally and politely at her words, showing the Grande Dame the reverence and respect he always accorded her.
The Butler realised that the Dowager would have no idea how much he was also dreading the Season, albeit for entirely different reasons. He was determined to get back to Downton at least once during the Season and his wife had promised to visit him in London with Charlie, however he would still be gone for three months. Three months apart from Elsie and Charlie; the very thought made his heart ache.
For the first time in his life he was beginning to resent the expectations placed upon him in his role as Butler. He was undeniably proud to serve this great Family and he had always believed that the needs and wishes of the Family should come first. Indeed, this was a key attribute of any excellent servant, to place the needs of the Family before your own. However, he now realised that this was in part because, previously, he hadn't had any real needs or priorities of his own. But now he did, Elsie and Charlie were his priority and they always would be. He had not articulated these thoughts to anyone, not even to his wife for fear of upsetting her further, but it now felt unbelievably harsh to expect a family to be parted for such a lengthy period, particularly a family that was so newly formed. He knew that he was being selfish, many other servants' families over the years, in many great houses, had no doubt been separated by such events and he had never given them a second thought. Yet now it would affect him and he felt bereft.
The four finally moved onto more mundane discussions, including the planned replacement of the roof on the Village Hall. Mr Carson could see that his wife was just finishing her chat with a couple of parishioners and he hoped that would mean they could now head home. The Granthams were having lunch at the Dower House and so Mr and Mrs Carson planned to spend the afternoon at their cottage with Charlie, before returning to Downton later this evening. He caught his wife's eye and received a beautiful smile in response. He immediately felt warmed as he watched the Housekeeper and Charlie walk towards him.
"Good morning Mrs Carson and good morning Charlie," Lady Grantham smiled.
"Good morning Milady," Mrs Carson returned warmly, as Charlie also said 'Morning' sweetly. Mrs Carson also nodded politely towards the Dowager and Lord Grantham.
The little boy held his Ma's hand tightly, resting against her side. He liked Lady Grantham, she was always kind to him, but he was still a little unsure of the older lady; she didn't smile much.
"My Charlie, you are getting tall. You'll be going to school soon I expect," Her Ladyship continued kindly.
He nodded excitedly; he couldn't wait to go to school with the big boys and girls.
"Yes, Charlie will be going to the Village School from September and he is very much looking forward to it. He enjoys reading and he's also developed a love for History recently," Mrs Carson explained, looking teasingly at her husband, who they all realised was responsible for this newly developed love of History.
"Really? And what History have you been learning about Charlie?" Lord Grantham asked.
"Ummm …" Charlie pondered, scrunching his little face as he considered the question.
His parents shared an amused glance as they watched their little boy.
"Ooh, I know … Pa told me about when there was lots of fighting in France. France is across the sea. And they killed the king. He had his head chopped off!" Charlie gasped, a delighted grin on his face, despite the gruesome nature of this information.
Mrs Carson chuckled at her son's enthusiasm.
"The French Revolution," Mr Carson added, smiling proudly at his son.
"Yep! And then there was an English king who had 6 wives! But Ma said Pa is only allowed one wife!" he exclaimed, giggling at this funny thought as he looked up at his Ma and Pa.
All of the adults laughed at this, as Mrs Carson blushed. She had indeed said that! She hugged her son closely to her side, bending to kiss his cheek.
"You give away all my secrets," she teased lovingly, as Charlie laughed with glee.
Mr Carson chuckled as he watched this scene unfold, gazing tenderly at his wife and son.
"Well, we must bid you good day, Milady, Milord and Milady," the Butler said, nodding to each one in turn.
"Yes, good day," Mrs Carson added with a smile, as the family of three bid their farewell.
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"I thought you might like some lemonade," Mrs Carson said, as she joined her son and husband in the garden.
Charlie smiled and ran across to his Ma. They both took a seat at the table and she poured them some lemonade. Her husband continued to huff and bluster at the other side of the garden, as he attempted to attach the rope to the branch.
"Is it proving more difficult than you imagined?" she dared gently, hoping to offer some support.
Her husband was determined to make a swing for Charlie, rather than asking a tradesman in the Village to do it. He had thought it would be easy; surely he just needed to attach the rope to the branch and then the wooden slat as a seat to the rope? However, he'd been working on this swing for the last hour and he still hadn't attached the rope securely, let alone finished the seat.
"No … it's not difficult at all … it just needs some careful planning that is all. It is no problem at all," he said quite sharply, only just controlling his frustration as he continued to wrestle with the rope.
Charlie gazed at his Ma, raising his eyebrows knowingly. Mrs Carson bit her lip in her characteristic way to ensure she didn't laugh.
"Maybe you should help him Ma," Charlie whispered. He was entirely serious.
"Uh-huh … I'm sure your Pa will manage sweetheart …" she said encouragingly, only to be interrupted by a loud wail, as her husband hit his thumb with a hammer.
"Are you alright Charles?" she asked warmly.
"Fine, fine. Absolutely fine thank you," he shouted tetchily.
Mrs Carson took a sip of her lemonade to halt the laughter that threatened, as Charlie covered his mouth with both hands to try to withhold his own giggles; his eyes sparkling at his Ma. His Pa was very funny when he was grumpy.
######
"Feeling better?" she smiled, as he walked into their bedroom, having enjoyed a long soak in the bath.
Their day had been a busy one. They had overseen morning preparations at Downton and then attended Church, followed by lunch at the cottage and his determined effort to build the swing in the garden. They had then returned to the Abbey for the evening dinner service, finally coming home after eleven o'clock. Charlie had napped on the sofa in the Housekeeper's sitting room and then been carried home by his Pa. He was now asleep in his own bed and the couple, for the first time all day, were alone together.
"Much better thank you," he smiled, as he discarded his dressing gown and placed it over the chair by the window.
He climbed under the covers and his wife snuggled happily against his side. He held her to him, her head on his shoulder as he rested against her hair, feeling soothed at last.
"I am sorry I was crabby about the swing. That blasted thing took me hours," he said, caressing her side and back with his fingertips.
"You are forgiven … and you managed eventually. Charlie loves it," she smiled, kissing his chest through his pyjama top.
"He does, doesn't he?" he replied contentedly, as they both remembered the little boy's glowing face as they swung him back and forth.
The Butler kissed his wife's temple, as she snuggled even closer against his chest. They both lay in silence for a few minutes, gently holding and soothing the other. He continued to place small, sweet kisses to her hair and temple. Whilst he'd been irritable earlier, they both knew that the underlying tension they were feeling wasn't about something as trivial as a swing.
"I am anxious about the Season," he admitted quietly.
"I know you are. So am I love," she replied tenderly, as she continued to lie against his chest, tucked under his chin.
The thought of Charles leaving them for three months was quite unbearable, no matter how positive she tried to be about this upcoming separation.
"We are going to have to tell Charlie," he added worriedly.
"Yes, we are …" she sighed, as she sat up a little so that she could look at her husband.
"… but for tonight, let's just be thankful for our beautiful family and we'll worry about the rest later, hmm?" she suggested, stroking her husband's face lovingly.
He smiled, reaching across to kiss her lips meaningfully.
"I don't know what I would do without you Mrs Carson," he said sincerely, kissing her lips once more.
She smiled prettily at her husband and then resumed her cossetted place against his chest.
"The feeling is entirely mutual Mr Carson," she replied fondly, kissing his chest once more.
His sigh of contentment was the last thing she heard before she drifted off to sleep.