Chapter Thirty seven
.
17th November,
Driving to Reynolds and Craig's from the hospital,
Seattle.
It was late when Ana returned to Reynolds and Craig's, Christian making the point that although they could stay with Phoebe all night it wasn't fair on Teddy and in the long run it wasn't fair on Phoebe. Their daughter needed them at their best, and to be at their best they had to at least attempt to get eight hours sleep.
After today, she felt so drained yet she also felt incredibly wired. It was an odd combination and it was stressing her out all the more. She was desperate to sleep but knew she wouldn't be able to as quickly as she needed.
John Flynn had come to the hospital shortly after four thirty, having been incredibly booked up. December was, apparently, a hard time for most individuals with mental disorders and so Flynn was working all hours of the day. The fact he'd managed to come to Christian at such short notice really highlighted the dedication the therapist had to Grey. It wasn't about the money, he actually cared for his clients.
Christian had spoken to Flynn first although Ana was a little miffed that it had been as quick a meeting as it had been. They'd introduced Flynn to Phoebe before Christian and Flynn had disappeared into one of the vacant family rooms available at the time. Less than five minutes later, the two men had returned and it was Ana's turn to have a little chat with him.
When she sat down in that little room she caught sight of John's diary and could see that Christian had pencilled in an interview with John for the 19th of November, meaning that he'd forgone his own appointment tonight so Ana could speak with John. As much as that had pissed Ana off, she was also thankful that her husband had thought of her first.
"Hello, Ana," Flynn had smiled welcomingly as she'd sat down in the plastic seat across from her, "Congratulations are to be given; she's a cracker of a baby, is she not? What a head of hair on her!"
Ana smiled at that, nodding quickly, "She's something else."
"How are you feeling, Ana?" Flynn asked then, straight to work, "Everything you say in here is confidential. Mr Grey will never know. No one will. This is a non-judgement room that you're in right now. You can speak to me like you want."
"I don't think I need to speak to you, John," Ana argued, laughing weakly, "I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm just soldiering on. Doing fine."
"Mr Grey and Mr Sawyer thought you weren't yourself," John pointed out and Ana felt her stomach twist as she remembered what she'd told Sawyer when Phoebe had been born. Had he told Christian? Of course he had. For fuck sake, Luke.
"John, I'm honestly okay," Ana promised, forcing a wide smile. She knew she probably looked demented but she had to give it her all to convince this man that she was fit and healthy enough.
"Childbirth's a scary thing. Motherhood is scarier though, huh?" Flynn pointed out, sitting back and slouching in his seat, "Yours was pretty damn traumatising. Did Sawyer really deliver Phoebe on the side of the motorway?"
"He did," Ana nodded, "And he also resuscitated her. We had Taylor on the phone walking us through it but ultimately, yeah, I suppose traumatising is a good word to describe it. I mean, mortifying too. That's a good word. Luke was really professional about it and we've not spoken about the actual delivery but, god, the man's seen more of me than I'd ever want my husband to see," she laughed, feeling her eyes begin to sting with tears, "I mean, I pooed on him. It's mortifying."
"Why do you think it's mortifying?" John frowned, "A lot of women poo when they deliver. It happens, nothing to be ashamed of?"
"I know but I can't help it. I'm just embarrassed that it happened at all," Ana admitted, grabbing one of the tissues on the coffee table beside them, "Sorry," she laughed weakly, dabbing her eyes, "I mean, it's so silly. I was surrounded by Gail and Reynolds and I had Luke but I still felt so alone. Christian wasn't there. My mom wasn't there, neither was his. Or Ray. Or even Kate. Gail's one of my best friends but I needed…I needed Christian."
"It sounds like a very difficult time," John nodded then sat forward, scratching his stubbly jaw, "Right so, we're going to try this technique called CBT. Have you heard of it?"
Ana shook her head.
"Well, regrettably we're a little pushed for time tonight," Flynn nodded, "So I'm going to set you a little homework, okay? We'll do a little example ourselves. The pooping thing. In your mind, you think that's a negative thing. You…pooed on Sawyer and you feel negatively about it and can't look him in the eye without thinking about it. Right?"
"Yes, I suppose," Ana nodded, because she did. She felt mortified that she'd been in such a mess in front of her CPO. It was one of a hundred little things which had been bothering her. It wasn't the most pressing, not by a long shot, but it was definitely one of them.
"So that's an irrational thought and it's bothering you," John explained, picking up his notepad and writing 'POOED ON SAWYER :( ' and then drawing an unhappy face beside it. Next he wrote in that large childish writing of his 'LUKE', "But change the structure of the thought now. Don't think about what you thought. Instead, what do you think Luke thought about it?"
Ana frowned. What did Luke think? She hadn't stopped to think about it, so focused on how mortified the whole incident had made her feel.
Huh.
She felt herself smile, "Luke…Luke was focused on Phoebe," she said, "I don't think he really cared. I mean, I remember he'd told Taylor on the phone but then he just encouraged me to keep pushing. Like it was no big deal that I'd pooed on him and his coat. He just wanted to get Phoebe out safely."
John smiled big then and wrote in large letters beside 'LUKE' on his notepad 'NO BIG DEAL :)'.
"So…how do you feel about the pooing thing now, Ana?" John pressed curiously.
"I feel stupid for letting it bother me," Ana admitted because she did. She's been so self-absorbed in her irrational worry that she hadn't stopped to think about what Luke would maybe have thought about it all. And the reality was he didn't give a damn. And if Luke didn't give a damn then Ana shouldn't worry about it, right?
"So," John smiled, "This is how you and I are going to keep moving forward with our therapy sessions," he explained, handing her his note with their workings out on it, "This poop thing is just a small example of what we're going to do in future together. What I want you to do, for homework, is write all the negative, irrational thoughts you experience from now until our next scheduled appointment. I want you to attempt this format too but don't worry if you struggle. CBT is very much a therapist-client collaboration. We're going to work through them together, the key points, and focus on rebuilding your confidence."
"So I should get a journal?" Ana asked.
"For sure," John nodded firmly, "Keep a journal of all your negative thoughts and write them down, as well as the situation you're in which has encouraged the thoughts. We'll work together to establish why these thoughts happen and figure out other ways of thinking about the situation, like the poop thing," he smiled, "There's a book, too, that you might be interested in getting. It's called 'Dropping The Baby And Other Scary Thoughts.' You might find it a comfort," he concluded then looked at his watch, "Now, Mrs Grey, can I pencil you in for another appointment soon? I'm seeing your husband on the 19th but maybe the 22nd would be better for you? Give you time to write a few things down in your journal?"
"Okay, yes, that would be great," Ana nodded, smiling, "I can't believe how silly I was about that, John. Really. I feel like I can look Luke in the eye again."
"Imagine how you'll feel when we really start making progress," John grinned back, putting her in for her next appointment, "Keep focusing on that positive energy. I'll be available to call whenever you need me and if there's a problem between now and the 22nd we can try and meet before. Okay?"
Ana had left that little Family Room feeling…different. She couldn't exactly explain it but she felt as though Flynn had given her the tools to help herself. Of course, it was going to be a long journey but she felt less overwhelmed by the task. She wasn't okay, that was for sure. Luke and Christian had both expressed their concerns.
That made her feel a little sick; they thought she was an unfit mother.
Damn she didn't have a pen to write that down.
She hurried to the reception desk and stole a pen from the counter, writing on the back of her and Flynn's poop-practice sheets 'Christian thinks I'm an unfit mom .' Then she stared at her statement and shook her head and wrote underneath, 'Christian knows I went through a lot and wants to help me. Luke also wants to help me.'
That change of thought seemed harder to come to than the poop example but she'd given it a shot, vowing to try this CBT thing so that she and John could look over her progressing.
She was determined to work towards feeling in control again; she wanted to be well for her daughter and son and husband.
Christian had insisted that they swing past a takeaway to get dinner, picking up three different pizzas for themselves and their housemates, if they were still awake, getting a couple of bags of chips too. Luke had swapped with Reynolds later that afternoon so the bald man could go home after having such an early start to his day. Luke had assured them that their home was good to move into now but because Teddy was already settled for the night at Reynolds and Craig's, the couple hadn't wanted to disturb him unnecessarily.
When they got to the townhouse, Christian walked straight in, Ana following and Luke closing the door behind him, locking it up for the night. Ana took off her coat and then slipped on the slipper booties she'd left by the radiator, sighing at how cosy they were. It was exactly what she needed after such a long day.
"Reynolds?" Christian called, carrying the food, "Craig? We've brought home a late dinner slash supper."
Ana heard a loud clatter in the living room just then and frowned before slowly opening the oak door. She saw a sudden flash of movement and blushed bright red when she realised what she'd walked into.
"Oh God, guys, I'm so sorry." She coughed, looking away quickly as the two men made themselves decent again, their shirts on the floor.
"Mrs Grey," Reynolds winced, standing up quickly whilst Craig just laughed at his flustered boyfriend, entirely not phased that they'd been caught in the moment.
Luke poked his head in the door behind Ana and laughed too at the sight of the skinny Reynolds and the chunky Craig, "On the sofa, Reynolds? Really?" he teased, knowing how easily embarrassed his colleague became whenever sex was mentioned. Ana had learnt that about Reynolds in the last few days; he was a very very very private man.
Reynolds was acting as though it was the end of the world but really the couple weren't in complete disarray; both men were still wearing their jeans, although Reynolds own jeans had been unbuttoned completely and there was no hiding the fact that he was both very aroused but also wearing novelty Mr Men boxer shorts.
Ana had to giggle now too, Luke laughing when he noticed the serious man's undies. Reynolds wasn't as fit as the ex-military men but he was athletic and built like a professional runner. Ana knew he did a lot of marathons for charities close to his heart and the hearts of his work colleagues; PANDAS -Pre and postnatal depression advice and support-, Wateraid, The local dog shelter, RUComingout. Last year he'd done the Marine Corps Marathon, the New York Marathon and the Boston Marathon, Christian always donating whenever he heard Reynolds was competing.
In some ways, his body reminded her of Christian's lean frame, only Christian had definition to his muscles and had back muscles which Ana could touch all day. Reynolds was just skin and bone like a washboard.
Craig was the polar opposite, fatter with love handles, a belly and the beginnings of moobs. Despite this, out of the two of them, Reynolds was the one self-conscious about his body and eager to hide it. Craig was happy enough being topless.
"We didn't expect anyone home yet," Craig explained, watching Reynolds panicking, "Baby, calm down. We were just making out. They don't care."
"That's not the point," Reynolds mumbled, doing up his buttons now his chest was covered, "We have guests."
"Guests in our own home who weren't supposed to be back yet," Craig laughed, rolling his eyes as he got himself dressed, "Honestly, you get so nervous over silly things, handsome."
"We brought you guys' dinner. Christian's plating up," Ana explained, smiling, "How's Teddy?"
"Out like a light," Craig promised, "We did each other's nails, watched a little Gossip Girl, had some beans on toast and then he fell asleep. He's better company than my man," he teased the bald guard. However, Reynolds clearly didn't see the funny side, going into the bathroom to cool off no doubt.
Ana turned then and saw Luke physically sleeping on the stair he was now perched on. She walked up to him and gently nudged him awake, holding his head as he jumped in fright so he didn't hit it against the stair wall.
"Sorry, I was just thinking," Luke mumbled, rubbing his red eyes, "I'm good. I'm good." he stood up and cracked his back as he walked into the kitchen and spotted Christian, "Thank you sir."
"Don't worry," Christian smiled, handing him a plate of everything, "Nothing's been microwaved."
Ana frowned when Christian said that to her CPO, confused by the eye contact they shared. Luke laughed weakly, taking his dinner through to the living room to eat and hopefully not sleep mid chew.
Ryan came downstairs and again Ana found herself looking everywhere but him. Because of his Boy Scout smile, Ana often forgot that Ryan was a man and not just Luke's dorky little brother type figure.
He was wearing only a pair of grey sweat pants, without underwear on it was clear to see. His body was surprisingly ripped with light brown hair pretty much everywhere. Not what one would expect from someone like Ryan, who hated being centre of attention. Heck, if it wasn't for his cast on his wrist he'd have a dorky tshirt or something on but there wasn't much he could do on his own just yet so he could be forgiven for being topless.
When Craig caught sight of him, Ana was sure she heard the little man squeal in approval, Christian looking up and smiling too.
He was smiling.
Not pissed off or territorial over Ana like he'd be if it were Jason or Luke walking around shirtless.
Nope, Ryan apparently was in the 'Not a threat' box.
"How's the arm?" Christian asked him.
"Not great, sir. It's really sore. I slept on it by accident," Ryan nodded, taking his plate and going to join Luke and Reynolds in the living room for dinner, Craig following with eyes which never left Ryan's oddly perky ass.
"I like him," Christian told Ana as he got her own plate ready for her.
She looked up and smiled, "Ryan?"
"Yup," he nodded, walking towards her now and kissing her once he was sure the kitchen was completely free of eyes, "He's a real…sweetheart."
"Christian Grey…did you just describe someone as a sweetheart?" Ana laughed, wrapping her arms around Christian's neck and pulling him in closer for a kiss. She pulled back and made a face, "Sorry. Garlic still makes my stomach turn."
Christian laughed, "Really? So I had to put up with pickle kisses and you still wont kiss me if I have Garlic bread?"
"Sorry honey; Garlic is still a hard limit for me," Ana teased then sighed, "Thank you for letting me speak to Flynn today."
"I won't ask what you spoke about because that's between you and him…but I'm desperate to know; was it helpful?" Christian asked her then, stroking her cheek, "I just want to know that you got on okay."
"I'd say so," Ana nodded honestly because she was feeling a lot more positive about things, "We're going to work on it all together. It's going to be a journey but I feel like he's going to give me the tools to keep myself sane…so yeah," she smiled then stood up and kissed her husband, garlic be damned, "Thank you for…you know, just being your usual controlling self. I feel like we're moving forward out of the storm with Phoebe. You were honestly fantastic today, Mr Grey. With the nurses and the other parents and just everyone. I'm so proud."
"Of course I took control; you know how much I love control," he grinned, kissing Ana's neck then.
God it felt good to have him kissing her there again. She let her hand stroke his stubbly head, sighing softly before her eyes fell on Jason's stag do box over Christian's shoulder.
"Christian," Ana called.
"Yeah, baby?" Christian asked, hand running up her side, "What's wrong?"
"What did you mean this morning when you said that Jason broke out of handcuffs for you?" Ana asked curiously.
Christian laughed and pulled away, fixing her with a wicked smirk, "What do you think I meant?"
"Well," Ana laughed, scratching her head as she watched Christian grab another slice of garlic bread, "I really hope, well, I mean your family thought you were gay before but I never, I, em…"
"Anastasia," Christian purred, a smug expression on his face as he munched away on pizza now, "Are you jealous?"
"No," Ana grumbled, "I don't think there's anything to be jealous of. There's no way Taylor would ever let you do that to him. There's no way-"
"I've watched him get out of a spreader bar for me too," Christian interrupted, "And shackles."
Ana's jaw dropped to the floor and that only seemed to make her husband laugh all the more. Fuck, he was cute when he acted playful like this, even with the cut on his cheek and the skinhead. But my god he was an annoying prick too when she was the butt of his jokes.
"You're lying," Ana finally spluttered out, removing the image of Christian walking around in his ripped jeans, Taylor before him at his mercy, "There's no way Taylor would let you put a spreader bar on him. No way. Something's not adding up. You're just trying to wind me up to get your sadistic little kicks because I can't have sex yet."
"No, it's true," Christian smirked, "I swear it. Jason and I have been exceptionally close for years and-Anastasia, for goodness sake you are so jealous," he laughed, "Are you jealous that Taylor and I have played before?"
"You've not! I know when you're lying to me!" Ana growled, "You're not telling the whole story!"
Christian only put a hand over his mouth, "Mrs Grey, I am shocked you would accuse me of lying. Outrage, I say. Outrage! What Taylor and I have is special-"
"You're such a bull shitter. I will find out the truth!" Ana huffed, storming into the living room with her own slices of pizza, seeing Luke was, indeed, snoring already, Ryan engrossed in his video games and Reynolds engrossed in the history channel whilst his boyfriend watched on bored.
As she left she heard her husband laughing hard, apparently enjoying how much this was winding her up.
She wanted to be angry but the reality was that she was glad to have her husband back winding her up. At least her loved one returned home...unlike Gwen's.
.
04:30
18th November,
Reynolds and Craig's residence,
Seattle.
.
Ana yawned and stretched, the room pitch black and a little chilly now the heating had been switched off. She looked beside her and spotted Teddy tucked up tight against Christian' chest, their toddler loving the fact that Daddy was home and that he was permitted to share a bed with his parents whilst they were here. He wasn't allowed to do so in his own home but here was a special occasion; there was no bed for him.
She slowly slid out of bed, not wanting to disturb her boys, heading to the bathroom along the landing. Reynolds kept his door open, an exceptionally light sleeper. He'd explained it was a habit from his CIA days; he had trained himself to be ultra-aware even in sleep.
Sure enough, as she passed she noticed his head rise in the darkness.
"Just peeing," Ana whispered, able to see Craig snuggled on his chest. Reynolds gave her a thumbs up and flopped his head back down on his pillow, going back to sleep no doubt.
What a bitch that must be for the man, Ana thought, heading to the bathroom before deciding to go downstairs for a drink of water. As she walked passed the living room, she noticed Luke was sitting in his boxer shorts, staring at a bottle of tequila, a shot glass before him.
"Luke?" she called curiously and saw her bodyguard sitting up and fixing her a weak smile, wiping his eyes, "Are you crying?"
"SEALs don't cry," Luke laughed, shaking his head and sniffing. He sat back and looked up at her, "What are you doing up?"
"I needed to pee. Pregnancy; the gift that keeps giving, even when it's over," Ana chuckled, walking over to the sofa and sitting beside him, "I learned that talking helps."
Luke laughed, "You sound like Jason," he said, pouring himself a shot and rubbing his finger around the rim of the glass, "I miss my ex at times like this, when I'm struggling, you know? Like you've got Mr Grey to speak to. That's a good partnership. He's going to take control of this Phoebe thing because that's how he deals with shit, you know? It's his form of therapy. And that gives you space and time to get yourself well again. Perfect."
He lifted the glass, hesitated for a minute and then knocked it back in one go, "Then you've got Jason and Gail," he added, "They're so different but they work well too. Like, Gail's husband died in a plane crash yet she was straight on that jet to be beside him. To comfort him."
"Have you text her?" Ana asked, "Told her how much you miss her?"
"Yeah but she's right not to come back to me. I broke her trust," Luke nodded, "It's just I can't get that image of Phoebe out of my head," he said and Ana saw him croaking up a little, staring at his hands, "Lifeless. Just lifeless. If Jason hadn't walked me through CPR…it could have been so different. And I guess that's going to take time to get over. Danni didn't want to hear it."
"You told her about Phoebe?" Ana frowned, knowing what a massive violation to the NDA that was.
"Of course not," Luke growled, "I'm not stupid, Ana. No, I called her earlier and asked if she could speak to me but she was going clubbing with her girlfriends so nope."
Ana watched him stare at his lap again, imagining Phoebe no doubt, then picking up another shot, "I'll be fine. It's just a haunting image, you know?"
"You saved her life, Luke," Ana said firmly, taking the bottle from him, "She's not dead. She's not lifeless. She has a beating, functioning heart and it's all because of you. Don't think differently, okay?"
"I need laid," Luke laughed, slouching back on the sofa now that Ana had removed booze from the table. He wasn't drunk, Ana realised, but he had obviously had a couple already because he was speaking very informally, "Ryan suggested a tactical wank but I'm not a virgin like him so that's just a cop-out. I can't wait till everything settles down. I can't wait till Jason-" he stopped and had to clear his throat, "I can't wait till Jason's home. He's my best friend and knowing he's been so ill and I can't do anything to help him is just horrible. He'd do everything in his power to help me. He always has."
Ana sighed and squeezed Luke's shoulder, "It's okay to be overwhelmed. It's not okay to sit in the living room with a bottle of tequila at four am to try and cope with it."
"I know," Luke mumbled, "It was just a night cap. Or four."
"Well that's what herbal tea is for," Ana scoffed, standing up, "Come on. I'm making you a cuppa and then you're going to go to bed for a few more hours."
"Okay, mom," Luke teased but then stopped short and Ana saw him thinking about his sickly mom. She knew Momma Sawyer was dying, but her bodyguard never spoke about his problems. In fact, this was the first time Ana had seen Luke as anything other than her life loving, joking CPO. She adored Taylor but she was glad that Luke was a little bit more relaxed in her company. It made it easier to have a CPO.
She sat him down and rummaged the kitchen for the teapot Craig had, "I thought you met that Felicity woman?"
"She used me for sex," Luke admitted and Ana turned to look at him with a quizzing expression, "She wanted photos to send to her ex-girlfriend to make her jealous. Originally she wanted to call Ryan and get the Kid to do it but…well, he's a virgin and she wanted really deprived photos. So I volunteered. It's probably the worst thing I've ever done to myself," he joked, "I mean, yeah it was sex but it was so…loveless? Not that we loved each other but even a one night stand there's an element of respect and she didn't give me that. I was just a hunk of meat. It's made me miss Danni all the more."
"Oh Luke," Ana chided, handing him his cup and a little measure of milk.
"It should be me listening to your troubles, not this way around," Luke pointed out, "Sorry."
"Honestly, Luke, I welcome the distraction from my own problems for once. Honest," Ana said sincerely, "What else is bothering you?"
"Mia Grey," Luke said then which made Ana frown.
Was Mia harassing the men again?
She knew Gail had issues with Mia being around her husband. The little woman didn't say in physically but Ana could see how her body language changed whenever she heard her husband would be around the youngest Grey child.
It didn't take a genius to know Mia was flirting.
"I was really drunk in one of Grey's clubs. It was my birthday actually. Jason, Ryan, Reynolds and a few other friends of mine were out and I ended up utterly smashed. I bumped into Mia on the dance floor and we were, uh, grinding. Dry humping. Really dancing far too erotically," he admitted to her, "Or at least that's what Ryan said. He pulled me away and Jason took me home to the Cottage. Apparently Mia came to our table before we left offering to buy me a drink and 'make it a birthday to remember'," he quoted.
"So you just danced?" Ana asked.
"Yeah," Luke nodded, "She phoned today asking if I wanted to go to hers to practice self-defence like what we did after the Hyde catastrophe. Only, I'm positive it was an invite for sex."
"That's a big allegation, Luke," Ana said firmly, "This is Christian's sister."
"I'm being honest, Mrs Grey," Luke said, suddenly professional, "She calls a lot when she's bored. She harasses Jason too. I've seen it and so's Gail. One time she was deliberately reversing her ass against Jason's hips. Pretending it was an accident. Jason's survived an abusive relationship, his ex-wife really hurt him and it's still effecting him so for Mia to treat him like that really upsets him. That's why I've been trying to run defence a little, take the calls, pick her up when she's drunk and calling Mr Grey."
"So you saved Ryan from Felicity and Jason from Mia," Ana observed, "I think it's time you start respecting yourself more, Sawyer," she said firmly, "But I'll mention it to Christian. I can't promise it will be soon but I will when things settle a little. If she calls again though tell her that you've reported her to me and ask her to call me."
"Thank you, Mrs Grey," Luke nodded, finishing his tea, "Thank you for caring for me."
"Of course I care for you Luke. I just wish you'd care for yourself too. No more four am tequila shots, right?" Ana asked firmly.
"No, ma'am," Luke nodded, "I swear."
"Go to bed, Luke. Try and catch some sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day," Ana promised, "Off you go."
.
11:00
18th November,
Chruch service,
Seattle.
.
Gwen was such a fucking mess, Christian felt his heart breaking for her. She was barely holding it together as she and Roz's closest family and friends walked down the aisle to the front of the church hall.
It was a nice little building, quiet and out with the main city. Sure, it was a fair distance from the hospital and Christian was desperate to get back to his wife and daughter, but he knew that he had an obligation to fill by being here.
Ryan had come with Christian as moral support, having been the one who'd gone looking for her whilst Christian resuscitated Jason. It was harrowing for them both, Christian realised, to have been tow of the last people to see Roz alive…
"Roz!" Jason shouted louder, "For fuck sake!" He handed Christian his AK-47, "Stay here. Shoot anything that moves."
He turned then and sped forward, "Roz! You crazy fucking bitch you'll get us both killed!"
Christian felt sick as he heard the sound of Jason shouting after Roz, knowing she'd just panicked. Heck, he'd panicked too when Jason had shot Bilal at close range. It had been terrifying. He had felt like he needed to run, no idea where but he had just needed to run. Had Jason not knelt in front of him and held his hand, looked at him with those deep blue eyes, Christian would have darted too. So yeah, he understood why Roz had made a run towards the Embassy.
Christian looked over as Jason tackled Roz to the ground. Ryan cleared his throat and asked "What's going on?"
"Roz bolted for the gate," Christian explained, "But Jason's worried there's rebels waiting, lurking there to catch Americans. He's trying to stop her before it's too late."
"Goodness, me, Roz," Ryan cursed politely, pushing his sweaty fringe from his eyes, "How are you?"
"Apparently I've been shot in the back but the vest absorbed the impact," Christian said firmly, "Adrenaline masked the pain."
"Fuck," Ryan commented then, pointing towards the two in the distance. Christian looked back over too, shocked to see that Roz had kicked Jason hard in the bollocks, the guard dropping to the floor before crawling after her in desperation. She was practically at the Embassy gate, Jason merely seven yards or so behind her, still crawling with one hand, the other holding his groin.
"Roz!" he shouted loud enough for Christian and Ryan to hear from where they were stood, "Roz calm the fuck down and-"
Another explosion cut him off, a rocket slamming into the gate of the embassy, obliterating anything near. Christian saw Roz go soaring into the air, Jason being knocked back with the momentum of the impact. There were screams coming from others who were injured and afraid, people running outside to see what had happened before a second rocket collided into the side of the Embassy, crippling the structural foundations.
"Get down!" Ryan shouted, tackling Christian and mounting him with his own body as the building cracked and creaked before tumbling down with a horrific bang, a dust blinding Christian.
They played Roz's favourite music which made the whole thing that little bit more painful for them. Christian swallowed a lump in his throat, watching Ryan dabbing his eyes with a tissue out of the corner of his vision. Instinctively he felt Luke lay his hand on Christian's shoulder, the bodyguard with him today whilst Reynolds stayed at the hospital with Ana and Phoebe and Kate.
"Roz was the most wonderful woman," Gwen said after the music quietened down. She was stood at the Alter, the minister beside her, "She brightened up every room with just a smile. Her wicked sense of humour too. I'm honoured to have known her and to have shared my life with her. Together, we've been to all seven continents, travelled up to Everest base camp, hiked through the Sahara desert…she was an adventurous soul and she adored learning about all the different cultures she encountered," Gwen laughed softly, looking down at her notes, "I have a little story from Christian Grey, Roz's boss. He told me that one time, while they were in Tokyo on a business trip, she disappeared completely. The security team were losing their minds when, seven hours later, Roz walks into their apartment dressed as a geisha."
That saw the crowd laugh a little, Christian smiling softly too at the memory.
"She'd no excuse for disappearing, much to the security head's dismay, other than she wanted to explore everything Japan had to offer her. And that's the sort of person she was; an explorer with an interest in people…" Gwen took a deep breath then before continuing, "She was attempting to start the Feed The World Campaign to help those in need when she died. I think we've all seen in the news what's been happening in the Middle East and I'm not going to discuss it her today. However, friends and family of Roz, I just want to say publically how proud I am of my girlfriend's achievements and although I'm devastated to lose her, she died doing something she loved; attempting to help people less fortunate then herself. She died trying to make the world a better place. She wasn't alone when she died either," Gwen added and looked directly across the crowd at Christian…and then Ryan. "she was with friends. And I think we can all take a little comfort away from that thought."
Christian saw Ryan's face twitch and so he laid a hand on the man's knee.
They'd lied on the phone to Gwen the night before. Ryan had told Gwen that he'd been with Roz when she'd died but the reality was that they hadn't found her body. Ryan hadn't found her body.
The lie was, according to Gwen, a comfort in a dark time to her. She'd been afraid that Roz was alone in the end. Ryan had told her over the phone that that had not been the case and that he'd found her body and stayed with her whilst Christian attended to Jason.
Whilst she passed away.
The lie hadn't been easy but it was obvious how much comfort it had given Gwen which, surely, made it worth it.
Right?
Christian had no idea but he could do nothing now but sit and listen to each of Roz's closest friends tell the audience little stories about their deceased loved one. Each was different too, some light hearted and some riddled with layers of sentiment.
After nearly two hours, the service finished and Christian was able to leave with Ryan and Sawyer, eager to get to his wife and daughter in the hospital.
Gwen caught him at the door and embraced Ryan first and then Christian, "Thank you both," she nodded, still shaking Ryan's good hand, "Thank you for trying."
"She was a remarkable woman," Christian said for Ryan, "She touched the lives of everyone lucky enough to know her."
"I know," Gwen nodded, smiling sadly at them both before letting them go, required to greet the next set of guests who were also leaving too.
Luke brought the Bentley around, Christian climbing into the back with Ryan and slouching down the minute he was tucked away from the public eye, "That was fucking shit."
"I thought the service was beautiful," Ryan shrugged.
"It was horrific, Ryan. Roz would have hated it. She wasn't a flower woman. She wasn't a sentimental one either," Christian growled, "She's have wanted a low key funeral at that goddamn pizzeria she always ate from and then have her ashes sprinkled in the mountain. Fuck me," Christian huffed in exaggeration, his phone ringing loudly now, "Yes?" he snapped as he answered it.
"Christian?" Elliot called, "Hey bro, how's things?"
"Things are fucking Ace," Christian growled, "Now's not a great time, Elliot. I'm in the car with people."
"I just wondered if we were having dinner at yours tonight since it's been cleared?" Elliot asked, "Dad's itching to get his hands around your throat and mom's desperate to give you big sloppy mom kisses."
"Aren't I lucky?" Christian huffed, then looked over at Sawyer, "Is the house good to go?"
"Yes, Sir," Luke replied, never taking his eyes off the road.
"Tonight sounds great, Elliot," Christian replied, "Tell dad and mom for me? And Mia too. I've yet to hear from her. Mom and dad have been texting nonstop but there's been nothing from Mia."
"You know what she's like, Christian," Elliot laughed, "You can only communicate with her via Instagram or twitter these days. I'll call her though. Say seven? That'll give you time to prepare for dad."
"Seven's great," Christian said, grinding his teeth a little, "It'll give us the whole day with Phoebe. I'll see you then."
.
New fifty shades movie trailer's out! Who's watched it? :)
A/N; Funerals are hellish to write, especially for secondary characters! Hope it was written okay for everyone.
Ana's beginning her therapy, Christian's back to being his controlling/playful self too although he's still got a long way to go himself. Dinner with the Greys in the next chapter, first day back in the mansion too for them and now Ana knows about Mia's misbehaviour with her staff.