A FREAK-ish Halloween
A cool, crisp air blew over the New Mexican badlands, howling betwixt the blackened dead trees and guiding along the busy tumbleweeds across the craggy mesa, before being held hostage by the jackass cacti that held them at bay asking for the time and to see pictures of their kids. Further down the lone highway, down an off-beaten path leading between the mesa stones, concealed by a not-entirely convincing tarp, lay the large complex known as the Reliable Excavations Division Base. The normal drab and boring building now gussied up in the spirit of the season, with various illuminating jack-o-lanterns lining the entrances and doorways, hanging cloth ghosts blowing idly in the breeze, and cobwebs that were totally placed there intentionally and not because Scout forgot it was his turn to clean up the Base. However, the true spirit and festivities of Halloween were lurking within the depths of the RED Base.
In true Halloween fashion, the RED Mercenaries got together and put up a proper party to celebrate the Season of the Witch. The men were gathered in their rec room, dressed up in various costumes and relaxing the night away, even with the rare company of Miss Pauling and their Freak aid, Intelligent Heavy. Everyone seemed to be preoccupying themselves with something fun in one way or another. Much like previous years, Miss Pauling, dressed in a sleek cat-burglar costume (that may or may not have given Scout an aneurism from how "hot Miss Pauling looked"), hosted another play session of Gargoyles & Gravel, which the previous players consisting of Scout, Soldier, and Heavy, while Medic joined as a new player out of curiosity. Scout, dressed in his old Bonk-Boy costume from ages ago, was more distracted by Miss Pauling's costume to properly play, and had recently gotten his rogue's leg blown off by some trap or another. Soldier, in a new costume consisting of a red double-breasted military jacket, golden robotic helmet sporting a fin on top, and a silver rocket-like jetpack, was fuming at the others for making him promise to NEVER handle any in-game artifacts EVER, now confined to his chair as he attempted to stuff candy corn into his mouth, failing miserably due to the helmet, trying to find ways his wizard could have some fun. Heavy, wearing his Killing Gloves of Boxing and sporting a red and black wrestler mask sporting a blue diamond between the green eyes, acting more of a silent observer than an actual player, fumbled with moving his piece about due to his boxing gloves and grew increasingly more flustered and irritated with every move.
"I will crush you, tiny baby piece…" Heavy muttered, glaring at his barbarian figurine. Medic, the most recent player to the game, dressed in a blood-stained lab coat and sporting a set of goggles with an additional three lenses to each eye, chuckled at his companion's misfortune. The mad doctor normally didn't participate in these kinds of games, but felt a slight whimsical curiosity and joined in, creating a bard that seemed to be the only one taking the game seriously.
"Crush it after the game, Heavy." Miss Pauling muttered, ducking her head behind the Gravel Master Folder to dictate what happened on their adventure. "Alright… After raiding the meatery for clues to find the Crown of Mann, your party comes across a group of suspicious looking travelers, hauling a concealed cart. What do you do?"
"They might be smuggling illegal goods into MY COUNTRY!" Soldier proclaimed. "I attack them in the name of LIBERTY!" A soft ping sounded as a dart whizzed by and stuck itself in Soldier's costume helmet. "ENEMY FIRE!" Soldier yelped and dove under the table, bumping it and spilling soda on Scout's shirt.
"What the hell, Soldier?!" Scout shouted, blotting himself with a napkin.
"Sorry, lads!" Demoman called out. Off on the side, Sniper, Demoman, and Engineer had been playing a round of darts, but things had been a bit… complicated due to costume choice. Demoman's costume of a medieval knight (something he pulled out of his garage back home) has limited visibility, due to the metal patch over his missing eye and the small eye-hole. Coupled with the fact the Scotsman was, as usual, drunk as hell, Demoman could barely see the dartboard in the dimly lit room. As such, several of the darts not only missed their mark, but found themselves stuck in unique spots.
"Maybe y'all should sit this one out, Demo." Engineer consoled. The Texan tinker had gone all out with his costume this year, strapping cogs, pistons and gears to his outfit and putting various designs to make him look like a steam-driven automaton.
"Ach, I keep tellin' ya," Demoman sputtered, haphazardly clutching a fistful of darts. "I can handle a wee target." Before Demoman could hurl the darts at the wall, Sniper's arm shot up and grabbed the drunk. Unlike the others, Sniper only donned a tri-corn hat for a makeshift Robin Hood costume, the only other piece being his Huntsman bow slung across his back.
"And we keep tellin' you," Sniper prodded. "You're drunk, sit down." Defeated, Demoman angrily dropped the darts on the table and sat down in a chair in front of the TV, where Pyro and Spy were watching some slasher film. Pyro was dressed in his/her/its Infernal Imp costume (horns, devil wings and tail from ages ago), sitting bow-legged on the floor watching with intensity. Spy wore a ratty fedora, a red and green stripped sweater in place of his normal suit, had a blade-fingered glove on his right hand delicately clutching a glass of wine, and seemed to sport burn scar makeup under his balaclava. It was at this point in the movie where the killer was chasing down some idiot teenager who tripped and fell on seemingly nothing.
"Of course she trips and falls." Spy muttered. "Zey always do in zese movies. Ze directors have no true originality. How do you even trip on nothing?!"
"Yer overthinkin' it, Spy." Demoman said, dismissively waving his hand. "Just watch the bloody movie and have fun, like Pyro!" Pyro clapped its gloved hands rapidly and giggled as the woman on-screen was being viciously stabbed. "… Not in the same way that freak does."
"Someone call?" Intelligent Heavy called out, walking past the group with a plastic cup in each hand. Demoman sheepishly turned to the pot-hatted Freak and waved an apology.
"Sorry, didn't mean ye, lad." Demoman said. Intelligent Heavy simply smiled, said all is forgiven, and went off to join his companion for the night. After several requests, pushing a lot of paperwork, followed by copious begging and bribery, the REDs were able to grant Intelligent Heavy's wish by convincing the Administrator to have one of his Freak friends visit for Halloween. There was no other choice than Intelligent Heavy's own best friend than the Hybrid Freak, Spyper. While the REDs were slightly uncomfortable with having someone with BLU colors under their roof, plus the alternating between the decent Spy personality and the brash Sniper personality took a little getting used to, the Spy-headed Sniper Freak proved to be rather pleasurable company. The aforementioned Freak sat on the couch, hands behind his heat and hat titled over his eyes until Intelligent Heavy arrived and offered him a cup of beer.
"Thank you, my friend." Spyper said, smirking as he gladly accepted the beer. Intelligent Heavy chuckled and sat himself down next to his friend.
"Is good to see you again, Spyper!" Intelligent Heavy proudly said. "Heavy would visit more often, but things are busy here. Plus, safer." Spyper laughed at that statement, taking a brief sip.
"I couldn't agree more." Spyper said. "Especially given how things get this time of year." Spyper's neck violently cracked, engaging the more hostile Sniper personality. "Those ruddy monster Freaks make life a livin' hell!" He cracked his neck again, clearing his voice as the Spy personality returned, while Intelligent Heavy solemnly nodded his head.
"Whaddaya mean about that?" Scout asked amidst his tussle with Soldier, the two having long since abandoned the game and begun fighting like a pair of children. Intelligent Heavy looked to his friend with nervous eyes, while a few of the other REDs took notice.
"It's… a bit complicated." Spyper hesitantly said, taking another sip. Now everyone was interested, abandoning what they were invested in and gathering around the two Freaks for 'story-time'.
"Y'all can't expect giving such a cryptic statement without us gettin' all curious." Engineer prodded. "No use hidin', just tell us." Seeing no way to weasel out of it, the two Freaks sighed and gestured everyone to gather around. Once everyone was comfortably seated (except for Sniper, who opted to stand), Spyper and Intelligent Heavy took to swigs of their drink and began their explanation of why Halloween for the Freaks is rough.
"You all know zat Freaks gain zeir abilities mostly from mental augmentations as well as physical ones, oui?" Spyper asked for clarification. The REDs and Miss Pauling all nodded in clarification. "Good, well, most of ze Freaks have specific implants zat activate… triggers in our brains."
"Oh right, I've heard about this." Miss Pauling butted in. "The Agents in the Eye and scientists have microchips imbedded in specific parts of your brains that act as tracking chips and behavioral monitors."
"Ah, yes, somethings zey do zat to animals in laboratories." Medic quipped, a dreamy look in his eyes. "I should order eight of zose myself. Hmm hmm hmm hmm…" Brief pause of awkwardness griped the room before Spyper decided to bring everything back to normalcy.
"Anyway, I have no idea who or why…" Spyper said. His neck cracked and the other personality appeared. "But the bloody Agents decided to have a gaff and added a feature that boosts aggression hormones in our damn brains!" Another crack and Spyper reverted to Spy personality. "Ahem, pardon. Ze chips in certain Freak brains have a switch zat ze Agents can trigger a sort of 'Monster Switch' that makes certain Freaks more… violent and unpredictable."
"Most Freaks that get hit by Monster Switch are… Monster Freaks." Intelligent Heavy explained.
"No shit." Scout muttered. "So what, Freaks like Vagineers and Painis Cupcake?"
"Da," Intelligent Heavy said. "Mostly Freaks from Pentagram and other Monster Freaks become killing machines, attacking everything and everyone."
"Some of us either camp out in bunkers to escape ze slaughter," Spyper continued. "Others try and fight back. Most don't survive." Another neck crack. "I want whatever sick son of a bitch who came up with the Monster Switch to dunk themselves in cake batter and smooch a crocodile!"
Some Casino in New Mexico
Agent Cinder violently sneezed, blowing over the river cards on the table into the dealer's face. Everyone else glared at the fiery haired man as he sheepishly put the cards back in their place and discreetly checked his own hand.
"Sorry about that." Cinder apologized, sliding over his sizeable pile of chips. "Anyway, all in." The chips were down, the river was revealed, and Cinder played out his two aces, three of a kind. "HA!" The dealer didn't respond as he flipped his own cards over, displaying his Straight Flush.
"Straight Flush, house wins." The dealer blandly said, while Cinder loudly moaned and bashed his head on the table while his precious money was raked away. For the fifth time tonight….
"So yes," Spyper concluded, folding one of his legs across his lap. "Zat is why I'm glad I'm here," He paused to sip his drink. "And not zere." The REDs glanced upon each other with almost bemused expressions, the kind of looks that entails informing someone they stood in the wrong line at the DMV.
"Hate to break it to y'all, partner," Engineer said, standing up and adjusting his overalls. "Things ain't exactly peaceful 'round here on Halloween neither." Both Spyper and Intelligent Heavy were caught off guard by this statement.
"Yeah, we got all kinds of freaky crap going around whenever the spooks come out." Scout clarified, listing off such instances off his fingers. "We got a mission tellin' us to get rid of the Horseless Headless Horsemann from Redmond's old manor, giant possessed rapid-fire eyeballs, skeletons risin' from the graves, zombies, and of course…."
"Merasmus." The Mercs chorused in a tired tone.
"Who?" Spyper asked. Spy rose from his seat and placed a hand upon his half-duplicate.
"Merasmus is a powerful wizard that constantly pesters us every Halloween." Spy explained. "He shows up either challenging us to a battle with convoluted demonic and arcane traps and artifacts, occasionally having us slaughter each other and the BLUs to fuel some contraption with souls or attempting to pay off whatever criminal element he's indebted to."
"He is also my Ex-Roommate!" Soldier loudly proclaimed. "Always dancing around the place in that frilly dress of his and chanting his weird Canadian babble and telling me, 'Soldier, you fool, stop eating my heart medicine and stop using my magic books to swat flies!' like some kind of Communist scolding father police!" As Soldier continued to rant and complain about his ex-roommate, everyone else continued their explanation of their Halloween tradition.
"Merasmus comes around every year to the point it's almost dang tradition." Engineer said. "In fact… He honestly should have already shown up, bangin' on our door and shouting his head off." This indeed was true, Merasmus was oddly late this year in his arrival. By now, the Mercs would either have slammed their door in his face, he'd busted down the door only to be gunned down by sentries, or have warped the REDs to some demented place in the middle of nowhere with instructions to kill. But no, much to everyone's surprise, the wizard Merasmus was nowhere to be seen. That is, until the telltale knock on the door finally resounded the proper Halloween tradition of the year.
"Well, speak of the devil." Demoman muttered, cracking his knuckles. "I'll git me eye back from that floaty twit this time." Again, the knocks returned, this time more frantic. Feeling like playing around with their visitor, Scout cheekily walked up to the door and rested his hand on the doorknob.
"Who is it?" Scout cheerily asked, a smirk already forming on his face.
"Oh, you damn well know who it is." Responded a deep, ominous, echoy, and very annoyed sounding voice on the other side of the door. "Let me in!"
"I dunno… Are you the pizza guy?" Scout asked, earning a few snickers from Soldier and Demoman. "Cuz you could be the pizza guy."
"Scout, I, MERASMUS, am being extremely serious right now," The voice retorted. "Open the door!" While Scout continued to prod at the wizard behind the door, the more rational members of the team noted something was a bit… off about Merasmus' demeanor this time.
"Call me a paranoid S.O.B," Sniper said, whispering to Medic, Engineer and Miss Pauling. "But I don't think Merasmus has ever acted so… tense before."
"Ah hate to agree with y'all…" Engineer said. "But yer right. Hey SCOUT!" Scout whirled his head around as Merasmus continued to pound on the door. "Let the creepy bastard in."
"Really?" Scout was a little put off by losing his chance to annoy someone, but complied anyway. "Yeah, alright." Scout opened the door and immediately was slammed to the wall by the force of Merasmus entering the building. The wizard was a tall man, dressed in black robes and sporting a bandolier of fish-heads and potions, a goofy-looking goat skull resting atop his head as his beady green eyes glanced about the room. In one hand, Merasmus held a curved wooden shepherd's staff, and in the other, his only real companion in the world, the magic talking book Bombonomicon.
"Behold it is I, Merasmus," Merasmus proclaimed, surprisingly with less luster than usual. "Here to bring you Mercenaries the frights and fights of Halloween, yadda yadda, whatever." Gliding into the room, Merasmus hurled the Bombonomicon to the side, knocking Demoman in the face and crushing him beneath the massive book, while the wizard walked off into the room. "Look, Merasmus is going to level with you, I just need…" Merasmus halted in place and used his glowing green magic to lift the lid off an empty oil drum. "To sit here for the next while or so." The wizard stepped inside the barrel and sat down, barely fitting in with only his head poking out. "Pretend that Merasmus isn't here and occasionally bring me a sandwich with extra mustard on wheat bread. THANK YOU!"
This was extremely odd, to say the least. Ignoring the fact that Merasmus has decided to make an oil drum his new squatting hole, the Mercs were more surprised at the lack of enthusiasm the wizard displayed, the demented bravado of Merasmus proclaiming how he would kill them and reap their souls, and the gun pointed to his head in the hands of some mafia gunman demanding money. Something was definitely up, and the REDs needed to know what. Heavy walked over to the oil drum, grabbed Merasmus by his oversized ears and yanked him up, the Wizard yelping in pain and shock.
"Why is wizard-baby not trying to kill us yet?" Heavy rumbled, Merasmus wincing as he felt his ears being gradually ripped from his head. "Talk or Heavy pulls harder."
"Alright, alright!" Merasmus wailed. "Just… promise not to hurt Merasmus when I tell you?"
"No." Everyone (aside from the Freaks) said.
"I expect nothing less." Merasmus somberly complained. Heavy released Merasmus' ears and the wizard stood to his full towering height. "Ahem… So, the GREAT MERASMUS was sitting about my house, catching up on the latest episode of Civil Protection and figuring out what kind of artifact to buy off Wizard's Weekly Catalogue, usual stuff, when a letter arrived for me…"
Two days earlier….
Merasmus was sitting in his living room in naught but a bathrobe, bunny slippers, and his goat skull hat, a bowl of cereal on his lap and a magazine in his hand, a dead look in his eyes as he watched his shows. Inexplicably, an envelope tied to a brick flew through his window and smacked the wizard in the face.
"SON OF A-!"
Back in the present…
"Merasmus opened the letter and was informed by an unknown sender that Mann Co. had developed a new, erratic project." Merasmus continued. A brief look of anxiousness flashed across everyone's faces briefly, knowing fully well what project Merasmus was referring to. "The sender urged Merasmus to meet at a certain location on Halloween night, promising to end my problems in a single fell swoop. So, Merasmus arrived at a massive hill that had a giant pentagram painted on the soil…"
"Oh, I really don't like where this is going." Scout said, nervously biting his finger.
"And found a hatch where Merasmus was supposed to arrive." Merasmus said, taping his forefingers against each other. "Merasmus heard some raspy voice on the other side tell me to let them out… So I did." The instant Merasmus uttered those last three words, Spy, Sniper and Miss Pauling slapped the wizard right across the face.
"You IMBECILE!" Spy shouted as Merasmus rubbed his now sore face. "Do you know what you have done?!"
"The Pentagram houses the most dangerous demonic and monstrous Freaks in the entire Project!" Miss Pauling exclaimed. "Some of which, Mann Co. is actively trying to figure out how to destroy! And you just let one out?!"
"NO!" Merasmus protectively proclaimed. "I let three out and they followed me here." The wizard was rewarded with three more slaps and a punch in the gut from Heavy. "OH GOD THAT HURTS." While Merasmus was doubled in pain and slumped over the oil drum, the group gathered together to try and asses how utterly dead they are.
"So, we got three dangerous varmints lurkin' around our base." Engineer clarified. "We have our weapons to defend ourselves, so that's good." Everyone nodded, displaying their own weapons in confirmation. "Plus, we got the Respawn Generator in case we get butchered."
"The important thing is finding the Freaks and contacting HECU." Miss Pauling stated, adding bullets into her pocket pistol's chamber. "And figuring out which Freaks came in. Merasmus," The wizard somewhat turned to address the assistant woman. "We need to know: What Freaks did you let out?" Merasmus let out a wheeze and slid out of the oil drum and onto the floor, weakly standing up to deliver his information.
"Three of these 'Freaks' as you call them." Merasmus explained. "The letter informed me they were mutant clones of you mercenaries, so I expected them to look a little like you morons… But I didn't expect them to look like demonic serial killers!" He wheezed, finally regaining his breath. "First to show up was a RED Pyro wearing a skull-like gas-mask, horns growing out of the eyes, a large ax imbedded in his head, constantly twitching with every spastic movement…"
In an empty hall of RED Base, an unnatural presence filled the air, sucking away the life and color away as it lurked ever closer. The only sounds heard were steady, faint footsteps, and a horrid raspy breathing. Around the corner, twitching and spastically convulsing, was a monster of a Freak; a RED Pyro bearing a skull-like mask, great demonic horns sprouting from its eyes, and a large Axestinguisher lodged in the side of its head. The creature sensed the world around it, trying to find the source, the one it craved most.
Fear…
"Then there was a zombie-like BLU Sniper with a mildly deformed face. It was… really unnerving the way it stared at my neck and growled…."
During a recorded camera footage, between a lapse of 0.028 seconds, there was a detection of an unknown entity appearing out of nowhere. Footage picked up a decaying figure, in the form of a BLU Sniper, with a hideously deformed face with large eyes and pointed cheeks, a bloody scowl formed on its rotting face. The creature simply stared at the camera, only a single sound coming from its mouth, a guttural tone.
"Nnnngh…."
"And then there was the third one, an undead creature, a RED Scout, sporting a white wolf-tail hairstyle, wearing an Egyptian Ankh, and donning a haunting white mask that peered deep into the blackened abyss of my soul…."
A hush fell upon RED Base as the last of the Freaks casually crept about the building, carrying with it an aura of hate and bloodlust. Slowly, the shadowy figure entered the targeted room of his desire, clutching a sharp knife in one of his bandaged hands. Slowly, the knife slid between two large cables, and with a deft flick of the wrist, the power was cut, the last brief flash of light illuminating on the pale, haunting white mask of a ventriloquist dummy and a serrated knife.
"And that's basically it." Merasmus clarified. "Did I mention they followed me?" His reply was the slightly concerned looks on the RED's faces and the looks of utter shock and terror on Miss Pauling, Spyper, and Intelligent Heavy's faces. Before any of the Mercs could get another word in, the power went out, leaving everyone in the room in total darkness.
"Okay, this isn't all that bad…" Scout shakily reasoned. "Just trapped in a pitch-black Base with three killer Freaks, and we got no power…" The young man let out a shaky laugh. "I mean… We still got our guns and the Respawn, right?" A few shaky nods from the other company, but unfortunately, someone had to bear the bad news.
"Not quite, partner." Engineer clarified, checking the shells in his shotgun. "If the power got knocked out, then that means the Respawn Generator is offline and will only turn back on when the back-up power kicks on." The Texan let out a sigh. "Which needs to be done manually. Same goes for communications."
"So what you're saying is…" Spyper said, trying his hardest to keep his face as calm as possible. "Someone needs to turn on the power, or all of us will die?"
"That's it in a nutshell." Engineer clarified, giving his gun a click. "So, we're going to have to plan this out…" The REDs gathered together, along with the two Freaks and additional company, and thought things out like rational adults with large amounts of military firepower. After a brief round of deciding who does what, who goes with who, and who most likely will die by the end of the night, three groups with three different objectives in mind. Engineer, knowing how to boot up the generator, would go with Spy, Sniper, and Spyper to reactivate the machinery and bring power back to the Base. Once the power was on, Heavy, Medic and Scout would escort Miss Pauling to the communications hub to contact Miss Pauling and get backup to detain the escaped Freaks ASAP. Lastly, Soldier, Demoman, Pyro and Merasmus would take the hard job of finding the Freaks, capturing them, and trying not to die in the process (something Merasmus highly talked about. Everyone had a duty to follow, except for Intelligent Heavy, who delegated himself to the duty of guarding the contents of the fridge from the inside, promising to come out once the Freaks were detained.
"Everyone know the plan?" Spy asked, receiving nods of confirmation. "Good. Let us move, god speed and good luck." With everything all set, the Mercs dispersed throughout the base, hopefully to see dawn before their new company gets to know them in a very personal manner…
"Alright, the back-up generator is in the basement." Engineer clarified as his group walked down the halls. "We just gotta get in there, and Ah'll use mah magic to get the power back on." The hallways of RED Base were extremely cramped, and the darkness clouding everything made movement very difficult, even with the flashlights mounted on everyone's guns.
"Easier said than done, mate." Sniper muttered, an arrow knocked on his bow. "And the bloody wizard's description of the monsters after us was shoddy at best."
"Luckily you have a Freak on your side who knows them." Spyper interjected, clutching a pair of SMGs tightly in each hand. "Ze ones after us are no doubt Twitch, BLU TOASTENS, and Team Killer, each very dangerous Freaks that are not easy to dispose of."
"Knowing ze cliché," Spy muttered. "Ze Freaks will be after us individually. Might as well just describe one of ze bastards will be hunting us." Spyper gave Spy a quizzical look, then briefly let off a few chuckles. "Does something amuse you?"
"Nothing consequential." Spyper chuckled. "You just look like a RED counterpart to a BLU Freak I know with zat costume on, no real issue." Clearing his throat, Spyper continued. "Pardon, anyway, one of ze Freaks mentioned was without a doubt, Twitch." Almost instantly upon saying that name, a chill ran up everyone's spine, almost as if something was breathing on the napes of their necks.
"Ah can't have been the only one to feel that." Engineer muttered, the others nodding in haunted agreement.
"Twitch is a monster zat is ze literal embodiment of fear." Spyper explained, his voice dropping down to a near whisper. "A blind and deaf monstrosity, it solely exists to feeling fear and killing whatever stands in its way. Gentlemen, Twitch is a nightmare incarnate." Even just from hearing the description, the mercenaries were unnerved and fearful before they even saw the damn thing! Hopefully, that wouldn't happen, but knowing everyone's luck this night.
"We're close." Engineer called out, turning around a corner. The group emerged and saw the familiar door leading to the basement, marked by a warning electrical sign and barricaded by a coded lock. "Great, give me a sec to input the code, keep guard." As Engineer went to work on the code, Spy, Sniper, and Spyper took up defensive position, watching for any movement whatsoever. After a brief waiting, Sniper turned to Spyper with a quizzical expression.
"Got a question for ya, mate." Sniper asked. "Are you supposed to be a clone of me or a clone of the spook?" Spyper turned his head with an equally curious glance. "I mean, are you all me with a Spy head, all Spy with my body, or half-n-half?" Spyper was about to give his answer, then furrowed his brow, almost as if he had never heard the question before. Before he could give an answer, the silence was broken by the sound of soft footsteps echoing down the hallway.
"It's here." Spyper whispered. "What's taking so long, laborer?!"
"Agh!" Engineer quickly exclaimed. "The thing's saying Ah'm putting the code in wrong! Ah can't break the lock, either, it's deadlocked!" The footsteps grew louder, a raspy breathing echoing down the corridor as a gut-wrenching feeling started to form in the bottom of their hearts.
"Hurry…" Sniper urged, watching as the color quite literally vanished from the walls. "Have you tried 1-1-1-1?!" The breathing and footsteps grew louder, the chilling feeling practically gripping at the assassin's throat. Spyper was right, this thing literally was fear!
"GOT IT!" Engineer proclaimed, swinging the door open to the basement. Not needing to be told twice, the three men immediately followed the short Texan down the stairs and slammed the door shut behind them. Once they were done running with their tails between their legs, the four men found themselves right in front of the inactive backup generator. "How'd y'all know it was that?"
"Too many mistakes with Soldier." Sniper clarified, walking towards the primary power generator and inspecting the snipped cable. "Well, we know what tripped the power, then." Engineer nervously chuckled and walked over to the backup generator, pulling out his wrench to get to work.
"Ah'll get this old hunker up and runnin' like Scout after five cans of Bonk." Engineer said. No sooner had he said that statement did the he follows through on his promise, the generator starting with a loud rumble as the lights and portions of the major power turned back on. "Well, that takes care of that. Now all that's left is to get those Freaks contained, call HECU, and then eat all those candieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-" And Twitch was right there behind them.
Midway walking about the base, the hallway lights finally flickered on, and the group of four let a breath of relief out. Engineer and the others brought the power back, now Miss Pauling and her escorts to call for help.
"Oh thank god." Scout said, letting his shoulders sag briefly before straightening up and tightening his grip on his Force-Of-Nature. "We gotta get movin'. If the others got the power on, those Freaks'll be afta us for sure." The group traded nods and picked up their pace running down the hall.
"Yeah, and if they're the Freaks I'm thinking of," Miss Pauling said. "We're definitely going to need to work fast. Especially if it's the BLU TOASTENS."
"And who, or vhat exactly is a BLU TOASTENS, frauline?" Medic asked, keeping his medi-gun concentrated on Heavy.
"TOASTENS, or 'Totally Obnoxious and Annoying Snipers That Emit Nnnngh Sounds', are a bizarre group of defective Sniper Freaks," Miss Pauling explained as the group rounded the corner. "With weird faces and limited brainpower. Mostly, they just get ripped to shreds by other Freaks and occasionally Clones, but recently a BLU variant was created that is… nothing like the others." The quartet turned another corner, just a few more turns away from the communication hub. "It's a zombie-like monster that enjoys nothing but killing, snapping necks of pretty much anyone that gets in its way." She stopped to catch her breath. "Grade-A Psychopath."
"Remind me again why the Mann Bros. thought it was a good idea to make these things?" Scout rhetorically asked, helping Miss Pauling along. Soon enough, the group finally made it to the communications hub, a circular room with an entire wall of computer monitors meant to display live security footage from all across the base, still inactive from the power shutdown. Wasting no time, Miss Pauling immediately dove for the emergency phone-line, dialed in a number, and waited with as much patience a person in her situation could muster.
"HECU Field Office, please state your emergency." Responded a tired voice on the other line.
"This is Assistant Administrator Pauling, calling from RED Base Headquarters," Miss Pauling said, taking on a more authoritative tone. "Reporting three escaped Freaks on the premise! Please send HECU Detention Officers immediately!" Miss Pauling's pleading cries were drowned out by the sound of something very heavy banging around the ventilation shafts above, flaking dust onto the REDs below. Scout cautiously prepped his scattershot, Medic kept an eye on his Uber-Charge gauge, and Heavy cracked his knuckles beneath his boxing gloves. After a moment of silence, nobody could tell what caused the sound, and were almost afraid to ask.
"Maybe a racoon or bread monster got stuck in the vents?" Scout nervously asked. Suddenly, the Boston Batter felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and like the idiot who never pays attention to horror movie tropes ever, he turned around and saw the horrifically malformed face of BLU TOASTENS standing inches away.
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" TOASTENS shrieked an ear bleeding scream, and before Scout could respond with his own scream, the mutant Sniper reeled back a fist, and punched Scout so hard in the face, his neck was practically broken in two. Luckily, Medic had his Medigun steadily keeping the young man alive, but everyone was paralyzed with fear at the sight of the murderous Freak. Something akin to a smile formed on TOASTENS' face, a black liquid seeping between his teeth like a murky waterfall. "Aces…" Heavy, seeing his comrade fallen and allies scared, decided that no one would fall to this Freak tonight, bellowing a war cry, he ran up to the Sniper Freak and punched him dead in the face.
"FIGHT ME, COWARD!" Heavy bellowed. TOASTENS smirked again, and the two began trading blow for blow in an epic boxing fashion. However, TOASTENS was clearly the stronger fighter, with ever successive punch against Heavy's own knuckles, the fabric began to tear and the Russian's own bone and blood began to show. Once Medic had finished with Scout, he returned to keeping Heavy alive for the fight, a constant bellowing of war cries echoing throughout the room.
"HURRY!" Miss Pauling cried, before finally hanging up on the line and watching with shock and awe.
"Why the hell did Merasmus agree to this?!" The wizard moped about, idly trailing behind the on-alert mercenaries. "I could have been at home, taking a break from the Halloween hubbub and just had a movie marathon, but no, Merasmus had to answer the mysterious letter that broke my window and POSSIBLY my nose, let loose three monsters that look like people I hate, and now I'm wandering around the base of people I hate, accompanied by someone who hates me the most, and the one person I hate above all others!"
"Great to have you around too, Merasmus!" Soldier cheerily said, clearly oblivious to the obvious insult. "And don't worry, we'll take those maggots down before you can say 'America, the Beautiful'!" Everyone let out an aggravated sigh as Soldier practically marched to the lead of the group. "Now stay frosty, who knows when we'll get ambushed by Charlies…" Four screams of terror erupted down an adjacent hallway as Spyper, Sniper, Spy and Engineer bolted past Soldier's party, followed by a bloodthirsty Twitch, scraping three claw-like blades on the sides of the walls, before vanishing from sight.
"… I know I'm very drunk right now," Demoman cautiously said, clutching his Eyelander tightly between his hands. "But I know I wasn't the only one that saw that."
"That was one of the monsters I let loose!" Merasmus exclaimed, pointing down the hallway. "Fear incarnate! They're doomed!" Twitch's prey turned about and came barreling down the hall again, followed by the monster itself.
"What the bloody hell do we do?!" Demoman exclaimed. Pyro mumbled out a suggestion and emphasized with different hand signals. "Nah, that's too idiotic, where the hell would we get a stake that large?" They came back around again, screaming just as loudly as before.
"How about I use SWEET LIBERTY?!" Soldier asked, hefting his green Liberty Launcher RPG on his shoulder. Demoman and Merasmus blinked, trying to figure out where that weapon came from, but shook it off as 'it's Soldier, don't count on an explanation'.
"Nah, we'd collapse the whole hallway on 'em." Demoman reasoned. Again, they came around. "Wait, I GOT AN IDEA!"
"What is it?!" Merasmus eagerly asked... only to be shoved into the hallway just as the group passed by. "… This is about the eye-thing, isn't it?"
"USE SOME BLOODY SPELLS, YA GIT!" Demoman shouted. Merasmus whirled about, he saw the incarnation of fear itself barreling towards him, sparks scattering themselves upon the ground as its breathing grew more raspy and vicious, when the Scotsman's words hit that thick head of his.
"Oh, right." Merasmus said, his hands and staff glowing a necromantic green hue. "Babmo bibrando!" The wizard's spell blasted from the staff, soared in a green bolt, and struck Twitch right in the chest, burning a hole clear through the torso, and yet Twitch still didn't move. "Oh, um… Emergis ex mortis!" A sickly green orb shot by, this time blowing one of Twitch's arms clean off, yet the Freak did not stop. "Magicae rouge!" A fiery blast of red flame roasted the other arm, and Twitch still ran. "WIZARD SURPRISE!" One last spell, a bright blue electrical bolt, landing right on Twitch's head, and finally the Freak stopped dead in its tracks, not from death and injury, no, but pure paralysis.
The REDs and their Freak escort quickly realized that the monstrous demon Pyro was no longer followed them once the breathing ceased and the hallway no longer had the color and life sapped away. They turned around and saw not only Merasmus with a stupefied look on his face, but also Twitch encased in stone, completely immobile. Spyper was so shocked, the first words out of his mouth came from his Sniper personality.
"What the BLOODY HELL just happened?!" Spyper exclaimed, stomping towards the Wizard and Freak, barely standing outside of the 'color-draining bubble'. "Ya have a spell that turns people to stone?! Why didn't you bloody use it before, ya pooftah?!"
"Because that spell takes a ridiculous amount of magical energy and stamina." Merasmus exclaimed. "In fact, I should be collapsing any second now – oh, here we go." The wizard swooned and immediately collapsed on the floor. Nobody helped him up. Spyper snapped himself back to the Spy personality and cautiously examined the petrified Twitch.
"Well, ze fear aura is still zere," Spyper noted. "But it is nullified enough zat we can transport him to ze main lobby for pickup." Spyper ceased his examination when he heard Soldier giggling like a lunatic, watching him stick his arm in and out of the discolored field.
"Meh heh heh heh heh, I'm like the television…" Soldier mused. Everyone rolled their eyes, Demoman and Sniper working to lift the stone-faced Twitch (shuddering as they entered the 'fear-field'), and hefted it onto their shoulders. Before they got a single step out, a loud roar of none-other than Heavy came from down a nearby corridor, followed by several loud thumps. The Mercs whirled about and saw, tumbling down a set of stairs, came Heavy, amidst a rambunctious wrestling match with none other than BLU TOASTENS… and apparently winning. The two finally came to a halt upon the ground, with Heavy straddling TOASTENS chest, both beaten bloody and bruised, and roaring in hoarse lungs.
"ORAAAAAAAA!" Heavy bellowed, punching the disoriented TOASTENS repeatedly in the face, until the face resembled something even less than a face. Finally, the large Russian landed a final punch to the tip of the jaw, shaking the brain and, almost miraculously, knocking the manic demon out. "CRY SOME MORE!" Everyone blinked in confusion, their brains attempting to process what the hell just happened while Medic, Scout, and Miss Pauling followed down the stairs.
"We got the message out to HECU!" Miss Pauling exclaimed. "Colonel Dyson and Ghost will be on the way to detain the Freaks!" She noticed the petrified Twitch on Demoman and Sniper's shoulders. "Oh, and you guys caught Twitch… somehow. Great!"
"And Heavy knocked out ugly zombie Sniper." Heavy rumbled, ignoring the amount of pain he was in as he slumped the unconscious TOASTENS over his shoulder. "We go." Everyone watched the Russian walk off, and silently came to the unanimous decision of doing the same. They followed Heavy down the hall, Freak in tow, with everything important taken care of.
"Wait… Someone carry… Merasmus…" Merasmus complained, face-down on the floor. Yep, nothing important.
ONE TIMELAPSE LATER…
TOASTENS was tied up against the stone-transfigured form of Twitch, and everyone seemed extremely satisfied with themselves as they were all gathered in the main lobby of the RED Base. They caught the Freaks, restored power, contacted HECU, and nobody died. Everything was going great! Nothing could possibly bring down the cheery (though slightly fearful) atmosphere at this moment!
"Wait, wait, hold on a moment, narrator." Merasmus interjected, killing the jovial buzz everyone was having. "I, MERASMUS, have just done a headcount… We're missing one." Glass shattered in everyone's mind.
"What?" Scout said, barely above a whisper.
"Yes, we're missing one." Merasmus clarified. "The one with the ma- AAAAAAAAAAAASK!" A blade plunged through the wizard's shoulder, and everyone yelped as the tall wizard was brought down, and the illustriously dangerous serial killer Freak stood above him. They all backed away and hastily drew their weapons as the Freak simply stood still and stared.
"T-t-t-t-t-Team Killer…" Spyper stammered. The Freak, Team Killer, surveyed the room, his soulless, empty eyes glaring with intense hatred for the sole color occupants in the room: RED.
"Um… Why do they call him that?" Scout shakily asked.
"Because he does nothing but kill anything that's RED." Miss Pauling hastily summed up. Before the Freak could take a step, Soldier let out a war cry and fired off a rocket from his launcher, Team Killer hastily dodging out of the way to evade the shot and back-flipping to the kitchen area. Landing with the grace and skill of a ninja, Team Killer stood posed beside the refrigerator, exhuming an aura of hatred just from his mere presence. His memories told him of his hatred of RED, his Freak augmentations made him desire to destroy everything RED, and with blade in hand, we would slaughter every one of the RED bastards in this very -.
"Hello?" Intelligent Heavy called out, slamming the door to the fridge open. "Everything is good?" Nobody said a word, just stared in utter shock. "What?" Intelligent Heavy followed the gaze of everyone, and saw that when he had opened the door right in front of Team Killer, slamming him into the wall and knocking the masked Freak out. It was, by far, the most baffling thing they had seen all night. Spyper watched as Team Killer slumped to the ground in a slumbering heap, and glanced at his own kukiri blades.
"Aw…" Spyper moaned. "I was looking forward to a duel with him…" Half an hour later, HECU arrived on the scene, accompanied by three separate prison trucks and led by Colonel Dyson and Ghost himself. Everyone gathered outside of the base to witness the final sendoff.
"Alright, get that lot in proper cuffs and sent off to Maximum Detention for a month or so." Colonel Dyson ordered, everyone watching the troops carefully haul the three captive Freaks onto their prisoner transports. Twitch's petrified body was hastily tossed in the back of a truck, carefully sealed with magic to keep the Freak from breaking free whilst in its tomb. BLU TOASTENS struggled violently in the arms of his captors, but the Australium shackles on his wrists, ankles and neck left him in a weakened state, barely flailing in the arms of HECU's guards. The only one not putting up a fight was Team Killer, the masked Freak only held down by Ghost's iron grip as the undead Scout harshly glared at the REDs with his empty, soulless eyes before he was shoved into the bus. Once the Freaks were loaded up, HECU began to pack up and shove off. Colonel Dyson approached Miss Pauling and the REDs, a tired look on his face.
"Thank you for the assistance, sir." Miss Pauling said.
"Not at all, Miss Pauling," Colonel Dyson said, attempting to put a smile on his face. "Honestly, it could be worse… Could be putting up with trick-or-treaters." The two shared a laugh briefly. "Ah, well, that concludes business. Have a happy Halloween, folks." The Colonel saluted and seated himself in his car, driving off into the desert. Once the cars faded from sight, one by one, the Mercenaries, Freaks, Wizard, and assistant all piled back into the main room and collapsed on the nearest object that could support their weight.
"Well, looks like all's well that ends well." Merasmus proudly said. "Now, onto business." A green aura consumed Merasmus' body, making him appear more ethereal and haunting. "You, Mercenaries, shall feel the haunted and magical wrath of… MERAS-OOF!" Nobody wanted to deal with anything after the hell of a night they went through, so Demoman did everyone a tremendous favor and shoved Merasmus down several flights of stairs. "OW! OW! OW! OW THAT HURTS! OW! OW! OW!" Truly, this was the best Halloween yet…
Freak-lopedia
Twitch
Twitch is a monstrous RED Pyro Freak, created by YouTuber honorcrocketts. Twitch is a monster in human flesh, literally. While details on Twitch's creation are iffy at best, it is clearly obvious that whatever creature is wearing the skin of a Pyro clearly isn't used to having a human body, notable due to the horns sprouting from its eyes and rendering him blind and the frantic muscle spasms that are its namesake. Twitch solely exists to feeding upon fear, roaming about aimlessly and sensing the fear around it, only to execute the source of whatever poor sap is near. Being essentially the primordial manifestation of fear, Twitch's very presence saps the life and color from the environment and instills fear in even the bravest of opponents. He cannot feel pain, shows no signs of fatigue, wields a set of sharp blades meant for rending and tearing, as well as uses the axe embedded in his skull as a long-ranged weapon. Twitch may be unable to feel pain, but still can be injured and suffers from blindness and deafness, making him easy to trick, ambush, and possibly kill. Twitch is the personal pet of Lord DeGroot, and serves the Devil's Right Hand with fervor.
BLU TOASTENS (Nnngh Sniper)
BLU TOASTENS, alias the BLU Nnngh Sniper, is a deformed demonic BLU Sniper Freak, created by YouTuber OluapPlayer. Once sealed away in an Australium tomb for being 'too dangerous for the world', BLU TOASTENS was accidentally released into the world by Professor Pyrowise and begun to travel across the world with the sole intent of snapping necks and killing everyone in sight. An extreme opposite of the RED variety of TOASTENS, BLU TOASTENS is extraordinarily violent and kills on sight. He has a wide array of skills, boasting from teleportation, enhanced speed and strength, minor pyrokinesis, an ear-bleedingly loud scream, and a high tolerance to pain. As durable as he is, BLU TOASTENS is not invincible, and can be subdued with enough firepower, and has an extreme weakness to Australium.
Team Killer
Team Killer is an Undead RED Scout Freak, created by YouTuber LemurFot. Modeled after the perfect slasher serial killers, Team Killer was implanted with memories of his daughter being murdered by RED Mercenaries, and was thus given a ruthless hatred of anyone wearing RED colors. Slightly augmented with speed and endurance boosts, Team Killer is an embodiment of nearly every horror movie slasher, capable of using a wide array of weapons to kill people with ridiculous amounts of precision and accuracy. Being an undead, he is extremely durable and able to shrug off a great deal of damage, has strength to be able to rip people's arms out of their sockets, and cannot die in a traditional way. Team Killer's dedication to murdering anything RED means he will spare anyone of a different affiliation, so long as they don't provoke him. In addition, as a melee only fighter, Team Killer is extremely susceptible to long-ranged attacks, and being an undead, as a weakness to holy weapons.
Author's Note: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, THIS WAS AN EFFORT! Hello everyone, Mal Masque here, finally bringing back life to Project FREAK! Settle down, settle down, I know your happy, and so am I. This is the first wholly independent chapter of Project FREAK (or any other story on this site, for that matter) since the disbanding of the IDA Writer's Guild. So, if the quality seems to have dropped, I'm very sorry, but this is the best I could compensate for no longer being part of a team. If you enjoyed it, HUZZAH, I DID A DO! Just another reminder, this chapter is almost entirely non-canon (unless stated otherwise in the future), but hopefully it was satisfying. Until next time, enjoy, and HAPPY DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
~Mal Masque