Okay here is another chapter, hope you enjoy thanks for all the reviews love hearing your feedback and what you think i dont really like this chapter so i am posting it before i delete it all and start over again and i ended it cause i need to sleep hopfully i get inspired and i like what i write again hahha
Larke's POV
Okay I have to admit it to myself now that I am speaking to Leah again I feel a little relieved, I mean I felt like I didn't belong since no one was really talking to me. Embry still doesn't seem back to his old bipolar crazy self but I guess I can't really expect that from him. Who attacks someone and isn't affected by it?
The mood in the house I relatively back to normal, but is always crawling with pack members especially around meal times. Now that I know everyone a bit better I don't feel as awkward around them but I still have my favorites of the guys mainly Seth, Jake, Collin, and of course I guess I am obligated to put Embry in there. At meal times the house is crazy, the guys are not only their wild animalistic selves but they are kind of rude and grouchy if there isn't enough food. Sue me it takes a bit of practice to cook for oversized, extremely hot (not talking bout the temperature) garbage disposals.
I haven't had any time to be alone with Embry since that morning Leah tried to embarrass me, but its not like I have been trying. He is around just as much as the rest of them, well maybe a bit more, but when he is he is one extreme or the other in his personality. Kind of a bit weird trying to talk to the really shy Embry and very annoying dealing with that egotistical piece of work he tries so desperately to pull off. Maybe I should ask him what has been going on in that mind of his…I mean why can't he find a balance between the inanely quiet and the obnoxiously arrogant.
A week has now passed; I am tired of putting up with the lack of Embry in my life. It took me a long time to convince myself of this last night as I lied awake thinking. I came to the conclusion that if I want answers from him, I will have to drag him out of this house again and demand them. I know I know out of character for me, but you know what I will just have to suck it up and jump in feet first again regardless what anxiety and fears I have over the matter. No, I can't do it…I have changed my mind, but what if I need to do this I mean I can't live in this purgatory forever. I'll confront him at breakfast I decide better sooner than later.
I head downstairs to help with breakfast hoping there is more than just Leah in the kitchen. Sometimes Kim or Emily show up to help, but we never know when they will drag themselves away from their mornings with their imprints. Luck is with me today, Leah is alone but she has already placed the large quantities of potatoes, ham and eggs on the dining room table.
"Need any help L.?" I ask grabbing a cup of coffee, which I realized since I bought the coffee pot that others have taken up the morning ritual.
"You can grab the juice and milk from the fridge before everyone arrives, I don't want them knocking the shelves off like last time." I laugh not quite knowing what she is talking about, but I can only imagine.
"You actually managed to get the food on the table before they arrived, what kind of magic you got up your sleeve."
"I told them all last night that you and me were cooking in the buff and not to arrive till 8 and no one wanted to test Embry's will power not to gouge their eyes out if they saw you naked." She laughs.
"Really it is that easy to keep them away, maybe we should change the houses dress code, I mean they all walk around with nothing but shorts on all the time why can't I." I say as I hear muffled laughter from behind me. I whip around as fast as I can only to have my eyes bug out of my skull at the 4 men standing there with large grins on their faces.
"As much as I would love you see you in nothing but shorts, I think you would die of embarrassment and that would break my heart." Embry says smirking at my already red face and horrified expression.
"Oh you think so, why don't we give it a try." I say hating that he is right, calling his bluff hoping beyond all else he stops me. I reach for the bottom of my pajama top and pull the bottom slowly up my hips revealing my part of my skin.
Just as I am in total melt down in my head about revealing my bare upper half to 4 men, he has his hands on my arms stopping me. "I don't think so Larke." He says sternly.
I laugh at his sour expression, thankful for him stopping me. "Thanks, I didn't really want to do that." I say honestly, my witty comebacks lost from my mind with his touch.
"I know." He says smoothly, "But I think you would have."
I know I am being mean but I decide to throw it at him regardless, "Embry, after breakfast we have to talk." I say in my serious voice.
I hear a chorus of uh-oh's and what you do now's from the now larger group of men standing just behind Embry. Embry's slight smile disappears at my words but I smile at him trying to reassure him and to calm myself hoping I haven't bitten off more than I can chew, meaning will I still have this courage after breakfast is over.
We sit down at the table as breakfast commences and before he starts shoveling heaps of food into his mouth he leans towards my ear and asks, "Did I do something wrong?" the worry and tension rolling off his tongue makes me feel a tad bit guilty.
"Eat, don't worry it's nothing bad." I try and reassure him.
It doesn't reassure him because he still hasn't put anything on his plate. He is just sitting there looking at me, like I just told him I murdered his dog or something. I contemplate what to do for a few more seconds before I grab his plate and pile heaps of food on to it. Placing it back in front of him, I kiss him on the cheek, "Now eat." I laugh as I watch him turn his eyes from me to the plate and back to me before putting the food in his mouth.
"Good boy." I laugh and everyone at the table about chokes on their food at my comment. Paul was the only one to actually have orange juice explode out his nose all over his plate, just causing laughter the bellow through the house.
Embry just stops eating glaring at me, "Aww, don't be mad at me, it was a joke I'll make it up to you later." I promise which does the trick because he starts to finish his meal.
He couldn't have eaten faster if he tried and just as I place the last potato from my plate into my mouth he says, "Okay breakfast is over…time to talk."
"Are you that anxious Embry, you know when girls say 'we need to talk' it is their way of saying something bad is going to happen regardless of what they say before hand." Seth laughs.
"Like you would know twerp." Embry sneers back at him as he waits expectantly next to my chair at the dining table.
"Come on." I say getting up from the table and walking out of the dining room.
"Where are we going?" Embry asks.
"I don't know somewhere where we won't be bothered by the rest of the gigantic buffoons you call friends." I joke, but seriously didn't want to be interrupted.
"Would you be opposed to going to my house?" He asks quietly.
I hadn't been back to Embry's house since he carried me there that night. I didn't even remember where it was, but I wonder how I would feel being back there. I wonder if he cleaned, probably not he is still a guy. Questions and worries flood my brain but before I can stop myself I agree to go to his house.
His living room was just as I remembered it, messy, dirty, and not the most appealing. I surveyed the room noticing more mess had accumulated since I was here last, much to my dismay, but I pushed cleanliness out of my head and focused my thoughts on what I needed to say. I took a seat on Embry's ratty couch and got comfy, memories from that night tempt me away from my intended conversation, but I struggle but don't waver.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Embry ask wearily sitting down next to me.
"Well, you see, I mean what I what to say is that..." I sigh. "This was easier in my head."
"Isn't it always easier before you actually decide to say it out loud."
"It's just, I don't want to hurt your feelings, I don't blame you." I say looking at the worry in his eyes returning.
"You can tell me or ask me anything Larke, please don't stop just because you think it will hurt my feeling, if something is bothering you I want to know."
Damnit here he goes being the very Embry that I like and a middle ground between the two extremes, "Damnit," I couldn't help it from coming out.
"What!?"
"It's just you're making this difficult without even realizing it, and now I have you and I don't want to ruin it." I blurt out knowing he is going to take it the wrong way.
He smirks at me, and I know my suspicions are correct, he took it the wrong way.
"Okay, I am just going it say it so pay attention, all week you have been either very shy and aloof or have been extremely cocky and irritating beyond measure and I wanted to know why, why I can't have the guy you were being a moment ago. I want to understand you…it is driving me insane and that is not good considering both of us have already been measured for a straight jacket so to speak."
Nervous laughter, not good…troubled eyes, also not good. I close my eyes not wanting to see any more parts of his expression that equal a bad response to my confession, well it is more like stating the obvious facts.
"I know you want a straight forward answer from me, I know because I would love to have one to give you, but I don't. It didn't occur to me that you noticed that much, I guess just wishful thinking, but I can't control my mood swings all the time. Half the time I don't even realize it, it just seems natural to me. It is ironic that the two extremes you see are exactly who I have been most of my life…before I became the arrogant asshole you know all to well, I was kinda shy…it changed when I became a wolf, you know."
"What do you mean became, haven't you always been a wolf?" Now I am confused, Embry and I haven't really talked about all the details of werewolves yet, it just hasn't come up.
"Well, when I was 16 I transformed for the first time, before that I never knew…the signs were there, others were watching me—growth spurts, sensitive hearing, headaches, and erratic behavior. You know going from being a gawky, thin teenager to what resembles a 25 year old muscular man sure changed my attitude and behavior."
"Really…"
"It might stem from the fact that I have been trying to suppress the urges that seem to overcome me at times, the result is that to suppress them I become withdrawn to stop myself from acting on them or an ass which lets a bit of it out, I guess."
"Is it really that hard for you? I mean is it hard for you now, having me alone with you at your house?" I ask a little scared of his answer.
"Yes, but it is a good yes, not a bad you need to be worried yes. What I mean is that it is hard for me having you alone, but I can handle it because I am alone with you. Sorry that doesn't make any sense does it?"
"No, not really, but I think we need to talk about something less stressful now that you have enlightened me about your inner demons. Ask me something, you want to know? And nothing serious." I laugh.
"Okay, promise to answer," I nod. "Have you ever had dreams about me?"
"Yeah." I say hesitantly several recent dreams popping into my head turning me a distinct pink.
"Oh, tell me one of the dreams making you blush." He smiles at me as my eyes try not to bug out.
I was not going to tell him any of my dreams that were beyond PG I mean my mouth can't form those words in front of him, plus it would give him the wrong idea…I mean I don't want to have sex with him for real. What could I tell him that would satisfy his curiosity? No,…I can't tell him that my brain recoils at the idea of telling him the dream I had after our first kiss. Mortified, it would be completely wrong.
"Come on tell me one, please I promise not to laugh, unless absolutely warranted."
"I already know you are going to laugh," I roll my eyes, "I can't believe I am actually going to tell you this, I told myself I never ever would."
"Oh goodie must be juicy." He licks his lips dramatically and my eyes watch the movement of his tongue momentarily distracting me.
"Okay, I was dreaming of our first kiss, but as you were," I clear my throat, "kissing me, you turned into a wolf, but were still kissing me the same way."
"Is that it?" He asks amusement very evident in his voice.
"Yeah I'm not going to describe it in details you have an imagination just as good as mine."
"Indeed I do, probably better…" He smirks at me, "You think we should give your dream a try see if it is possible?"
"No, ewww I am not kissing you that way when you aren't human." I shriek.
"No kissing does that mean you might be up for other things when I'm not human?"
"You're sick, I will never."
"Joke, Larke it was a joke okay."
"Sorry, you didn't sound like you were joking; you would never do that to me would you?"
"Don't be ridiculous, I'd never ask or try such a thing."
"Good." I say crossing my arms across my chest.