Kim tapped her toes nervously together. Her thumbs constantly stroked soothing circles over Sideswipe's hunched, brooding form. Sitting apprehensively on his shoulder, Kim leaned over and put a tiny kiss to his cheek. He finally moved; he gave an aggrieved rumble from his chest and passed a servo over his optics before that hand clenched at his chest again.
Taking a steadying breath, Kim gently stroked up and down Sideswipe's audio receptors. She knew what it felt like—she felt it too. Obviously, she had underestimated the bond between the two brothers. Bound by the spark, when Shockwave had shot Sunstreaker, his pain had gushed straight into Sideswipe, and through Sideswipe, Kim. She still shivered to feel the pain of the dying in her memories.
Now, however, it was a dead weight pressing down on her heart. Sideswipe said he was trying to protect her from that feeling . . . where she just wanted to slip away . . . but it didn't do much good. Sometimes, the urge to just . . . give up . . . assaulted her so strongly she didn't think she could hold on.
However Sideswipe, more stubborn than his brother, refused to give up on him, and he clutched vainly at the spark that still sputtered with the help of life support.
Kim had wept the moment she realized that Sunstreaker hadn't died from that lethal blow. It had crippled both her and Sideswipe on the field of battle, but more so, her—when Sideswipe thought he had lost his brother, he had gone into a deranged fit of fury fit to rival his brother's sociopathic tendencies.
The memory was black with despair every time Kim returned to it. That feeling that she was dying—she had been so sure of it, so sure she had been alone. Sunstreaker was dead—Sideswipe was insane with grief, killing so violently it terrified her. The worst was feeling his spark fading, detaching from the world and even her as she had crawled up to Sunstreaker as if to wake him up. That feeling where she was being dragged down into darkness she could never return from, the Well or the pit, she could never know, or something far more sinister . . .
And the hope that had slashed through it all with a blue spark faintly beating with life.
It was déjà vu. Kim had pressed her human hands to Sunstreaker's spark, but instead of feeling his entire being in her hands like she had with Sideswipe, he . . . almost hadn't been there. His presence was like a faint tickle, too far beyond a veil of darkness that she couldn't penetrate, lost in himself somewhere that she couldn't find. He had felt so empty it had almost crippled her.
Instead, Kim had had to fight for Sideswipe. Lost in madness, she had plunged into the vortex of emotions, calling out for her spark mate through the turmoil. Kim was certain she would never forget his delusional screams of inner agony, and she had to tear him away from that hideous emotion that churned like pools of death, forcibly pull him back to the land of the living while Optimus and Grapple pinned him down because he was attacking the Autobots. Through a combination of sheer love and determination, Kim forced him to understand that Sunstreaker's spark still beat.
Kim pressed into his cheek, kissing him, whispering whimsical nothings to help alleviate the pain of feeling Sunstreaker's presence slowly slipping away from them.
A whine caught in the back of Sideswipe's gears, and he turned his optics away from Ratchet's strenuous work on Sunstreaker's broken body. A breath vented from him, fluttering her hair.
His voice rasped with suppressed emotion. "Thanks . . ." He took another deep breath, pressing a tender finger to her back. "For finding me . . . when I had lost myself . . ."
"Always," she whispered back, struggling to be strong when Sideswipe needed her most. Tears pricked her eyes, but she fought them back. "Spark mates, remember? Course I'd never leave you."
A faint smile tugged his lips before it faded away. "Sometimes it helps for me to hear it again."
Kim pressed her face to his. "Well then, you insecure cutie, I love you."
A slight scoff marred his voice. "Little brat, I am not cute . . . but I love you too."
Kim leaned against him while Ratchet worked over Sunstreaker. He didn't work on his body too much—he kept running scans, kept analyzing things, and it was on the tip of an impatient Kim's tongue to ask what was going on when Ratchet suddenly turned to them.
"Do you remember that spark bond you were going to try?"
Kim blinked wide with Sideswipe. "Yeah," he said a little uncertainly at the intensity in Ratchet's eyes. "But—"
"I was talking to Kim."
At Sideswipe's affronted look, Ratchet grumbled impatiently. "You are already bound to your brother through your spark. Kimberly is not. Kim?"
She tried not to let her mouth gape. "W-Well, yeah, but—"
"Then I think it's time we try it."
She was silent. After a moment, she swallowed and worked her mouth like a dying fish. "Uh . . . You mean . . ."
"I mean now, Kim," Ratchet said, eyeing his data and casting a worried glance to Sunstreaker. "His body his healthy. I've repaired everything I possibly could, and he should most definitely be on the mend now, but his life is fading. I suspect he's lost the will to live, and he's going to need you two to anchor him here with us."
"Are you serious?" she heard Sideswipe whisper.
Ratchet turned a grave glare at him. "Very. Kim, if you want to do this, sooner would be preferable over later."
Kim stood immediately, but Sideswipe put a hand on her. "Ratchet, you can't be serious! My brother—" He stopped suddenly, and his lips pressed together. "I love my brother," he whispered, "but he's taught himself to hate Kim with everything he's got. And I know his sociopathic tendencies. Can he possibly hurt her when she's trying to spark bond with him?"
Ratchet frowned, pausing. Sideswipe scowled at his hesitation. "Possibly," he said carefully, "but I would think it metal than physical."
When Sideswipe's hand tightened and Rochelle heard his metal hinging up, and she leapt to her feet. "I'll do it." She turned a fierce gaze on Sideswipe when he opened his mouth. "It doesn't matter if I get a little hurt. This is Sunstreaker, and I love him as much as you do. I'm doing it, no matter what."
A stressed sigh escaped his lips, and he nuzzled her. "Just . . . be careful."
"As always," she said with a quirk of her lips. Still, Kim's heart skipped uncertainly when Sideswipe put her down on Sunstreaker's chest which Ratchet opened up, exposing his spark for her. It beat rather weakly, and slower than she thought it should. With a deep breath, Kim transformed and opened her spark chamber.
She braced herself. "Sideswipe," she said quietly, "if I scream, it's okay. Let me do this. I know I can." Feeling the prickle of unease through their bond, Kim sent a reassuring smile to him. "I know what is fighting for—and Sunstreaker is. With all my spark."
Sideswipe pressed his lips together, controlling their quiver. Kim looked down with rising compassion to his brother locked in stasis—
Her future spark mate.
Kim jutted her chin out, and she bent down and forced the energies of their sparks to mesh together.
She fell into an inferno of darkness.
Kim's body jolted straight and her teeth ground in her head when she felt the turmoil eating away at his life. Hate; vengeance; screams; murder; insanity; vanity; jealousy; they were all the same and yet they were all so different, and the sudden barrage of negative emotions caused a sudden drain on her spark, as if it were trying to suck her down into something she could never return from. Kim jerked, and through sheer force of will, kept her spark molded to his.
Anything Sideswipe and Ratchet could have said to her in the infirmary was lost as Kim drove against the waves of wretched emotion that was blocking Sunstreaker's spark from penetration, from allowing him to bond with her. It was like she was beating through a physical wall with her bare hands, slamming her fists into it until her knuckles were bloodied and raw. Kim saw visions like she had with Sideswipe, only these were gruesome images of his past, specifically picked to chase her away. Energon spattered, limbs were severed, sometimes tortured screams, and his physical pain of the past assaulted her like it were her own. A piercing scream tore from her throat, leaving her hunching possessively over herself.
Hunched possessively over Sunstreaker.
Fear quickly turned to desperation. Primus, she hadn't known he was this bad! Driving deeper and searching for his centre that he shielded from her, Kim wondered what could have pushed him to hate her so much, but for now, she just fought and fought hard. Periodically screaming because she couldn't hold it in, Kim suffered through the memories and vision he thrust upon her.
There came a point where she had gotten so close to him that a violent buck happened in the vortex of emotions—then, Kim cried out as a tidal wave of misery fell over her in a last ditch effort to push her away. Shuddering and biting her tongue so hard it bled, Kim resisted the overwhelming urge to leave Sunstreaker to himself. Fighting her way through the last stretch that had optic lubricant leaking down her face, Kim gasped when she found him in the center of it all.
At first, it had all felt numb. However, she realized that was a weak mechanism to protect her from his spark, and then, when she found him, whines echoed in her ears from his body. She struggled to make the connection with him, but he refused to let her, and it was killing him in the process.
Her lips quivered. Sifting through the embittered feelings he harbored, it took her several more long minutes to figure out what hurt him the most.
She blinked down at the unresponsive mech beneath her. He . . . He was jealous. Of his brother. That Sideswipe was better, and he was only, and had always been, only second best. That she had chosen Sideswipe over him, and he could never compare because of it.
A weak laugh spilled from her lips, and Kim clutched him close, slowly weaving her way into his spark. "You silly little sunflower . . ." She laughed weakly again, astounded that she had braved and conquered the demons Sunstreaker carried in his spark. "Of COURSE you are. Listen to me, it's all right." Stopping instead to kiss his chest plates, Kim forcibly pulsed through her beating spark how he was his brother's equal in every way—his very twin, and had always been special in her eyes. She also admitted through the forming bond that she had been too scared to tell him how she felt because he had been so indignant to her very existence.
And, through it all, she felt a curious sense of weeping from Sunstreaker's spark.
Hands braced themselves on either side of Sunstreaker. Kim looked up to see Sideswipe's optics shuttered open wide, and his mouth worked silently a moment.
"K-Kim . . . did you . . . really . . . ?"
Kim laughed again, wiping at her optic lubricant. "I did—we did. We're—we're—"
Sideswipe gave a little hoot, leaning down to embrace his brother, and Kim squeaked a muffled squawk when he pressed her into his chest. "Sunny! Sunny, we're all spark mates! How're you feeling?"
Kim hadn't realized that Sunstreaker was awake, but now she felt it through the new bond. A flash of irritation hit her. "Sideswipe—get off!"
"Maybe later!" he burst, thumping his brother's head. Sunstreaker grumbled, hands coming up to push at his brother. "You gave me one hell of a scare, you aft! You'll have to make it up later—" Then, Sideswipe popped up quickly, and Kim felt excitement and mischievousness spill through the three-way bond. "Oh, man—I know exactly what we'll do! We'll have to be careful of Kim though . . ." He put a hand to his chin, stroking it thoughtfully. "That was tricky enough as it was, but three ways . . . ? Ha, never had a three way interface before, but I bet it'll work—"
"Oh no you don't!" Ratchet snarled, yanking Sideswipe back by the shoulder. He shooed Kim off Sunstreaker, and her metal feet hit the floor with a clank. "Sunstreaker is MY patient right now and I want to run a few more tests. He's not ready for that kind of activity yet!"
"Sure he is!" Sideswipe burst with a rakish grin. Kim felt a little dizzy feeling all the emotions—hers, Sideswipe's, and Sunstreaker's all bottled up inside her chest and flowing freely in and out—she'd either have to get used to it or figure out a way to help filter through it all.
Sideswipe's blue optics twinkled down at Sunstreaker. "C'mon, Sunny. Ratch says you're not ready, and I guess you're not if you can't handle us both."
Sunstreaker pushed Ratchet back, narrowing his optics at Sideswipe. "Challenge accepted," he growled, but Ratchet waved a wrench.
"I said you're not ready yet," he grumbled, optics flashing sharply. "You—"
"I'll do what I damn well please," Sunstreaker barked, sitting up and gingerly moving his repaired body. "Besides, would you rather we frag each other right here on—"
Ratchet groaned in defeat, seeing the stubborn side of the twins surfacing. "Fine! Fine!" he snarled, throwing up his hands. "Just don't come crying back to ME for repairs when you strain your new parts!" He gestured angrily to the door. "Now get out, all three of you! I don't want anything to do with your night-time business!"
Sunstreaker gave a whoop and a devilish grin, getting up to his feet. "Good! Now let's hit the road you two, and I'll show you who's boss!"
Sideswipe jumped in front of him, helping his brother gain his balance. "Sunny, you're not going to make it far on your feet—can I carry you bridal style?"
Kim sniggled to herself at his appalled face. "What? No—!"
"Please? Just this once?"
"I said—"
"Okay, let's do it!"
Sunstreaker shouted when Sideswipe hoisted him into his arms bridal style. "Sideswipe! Put me down!"
Sideswipe turned and grinned down at Kim. "C'mon you little brat! Let's go teach Sunny here a lesson!"
Kim laughed, scampering up his body to situate herself on his shoulder. She winked down at the disgruntled Sunstreaker. "You ready, sweetie?"
Sideswipe laughed again. "Just wait 'till you see where she can get her hands!" A growl cut through the end of his sentence.
"SIDESWIPE, I SAID PUT ME DOWN!"
Author's Note:
Sideswipe! Head outta the gutter! :O lol