Author's note: thank you again for the reviews, I really like them!
Chapter thirty-eight
Jane passed the door of The Dirty Robber – cast a glance around – and smiled before heading to a table where a dozen of greeting cards had been left. She grabbed one of them and read out loud the message on it.
"To our favorite badass homicide detective who'll be greatly missed."
A smirk embraced her lips before she burst out laughing and shook her head at her colleagues standing by her side.
"Maternity leave isn't eternal, you know. I'll be back sooner than you can imagine."
Yet for the next month and a half, she wouldn't go to the BPD anymore; wouldn't investigate the mere case.
Instead, she would stay at home – give birth – and make her first steps as a mother. Swallowing hard, the brunette forced a smile. If she had never liked changes all in all, these ones scared her even more than the usual.
Accepting an alcohol free cocktail, she went to thank everyone; for the flowers, the cards and the light beers she wasn't eager to try. The party wasn't a complete surprise – Maura surely had a hard time not leaving hints here and there – but it was a nice attention, as a matter of fact.
And certainly not a baby shower.
While in full conversation with a few officers, Jane's eyes stopped on the honey blonde. Maura was in full talk a few feet away. Their gazes met, the detective smiled at her partner; thanking her in silence for the whole party.
Jane knew how life was tough with her yet Maura had been composing with her terrible temper like nobody else. She didn't even complain about her stubbornness and showed great patience instead. Perhaps it was the exact definition of soul mates: they didn't look like each other but completed each other, brought some balance to their unsteady existences. And it was sweet.
"Hey, Rizzoli! Wanna try the new pool?"
Billiard cue in hand, Korsak motioned at the back of the room. The brunette's mouth dropped open and – utterly surprised – she shook her head in disbelief.
"Of course it's when I leave that the pub gets a new toy..."
She was about to accept the cue stick that Frost tended her when Maura's voice in her back stopped her right in her tracks.
"Can I play?"
As usual, the honey blonde looked ecstatic. Interpreting the silence as an affirmation, she clapped her hands and grabbed the billiard cue that Frost was holding before walking towards the pool. Her hand slid on the green table where a eight-ball rack was settled in the center.
She paused – bit her lower lip – and cleared her voice before talking with a thick serious tone.
"Let's start this, now."
Before the whole BPD's uncertainty, Maura positioned herself – bent over – and with the dexterity that only highlighted solid billiard skills, aimed at the balls that bumped into each other; their peculiar sound getting the perfect echo in the pub.
Satisfied, the medical examiner straightened up – passed her thumb on the end of the stick before blowing on it – and looked in defiance at the incredulous officers.
"Stripes, I presume?"
...
Sat on the yoga mat, Jane made a face and reluctantly looked around her as couples were setting on the floor as well. The whole scene reminded her of some therapy session; if it weren't for the posters on the wall of pregnant women and messages about pain free labors. Sat next to her, an intimidated Maura did not say a word. Instead, she kept on twisting her hands nervously.
"I'm a zombie, Maur'. We shouldn't have signed in for the 9am class... Or at least not after my party at The Dirty Robber last night."
The honey blonde bit her lower lip – frowned – and nodded in silence at Jane. They hadn't come back home before the early hours of the morning and the alarm at 7.30 had been brutal. But they didn't have much of a choice. The detective had reached her eighth month of pregnancy and Lamaze classes were not optional anymore.
They had to attend some.
A blonde in her thirties arrived, with an energy that went on Jane's nerves immediately. Why did these instructors always have to look hyper-enthusiastic about the mere thing? Sighing loudly, the brunette rolled her eyes and clenched her teeth.
...
As much as the class didn't turn out as bad as she had imagined, Jane welcomed back the sunny streets of Beacon Hill an hour later as they left the center.
Without a word – hand in hand – they stopped by a deli to run a few errands before heading back home. But as the minutes were passing by, something set off in the brunette's mind; an odd feeling, a delicate one.
Maura hadn't said a word for a while and at every step they made, her features deepened in seriousness. They hadn't argued, though. Nothing special had happened. Yet Jane could sense that her partner wasn't fine and she didn't know what to say.
It is with great concern that the detective passed the door of their house and went to put down the brown paper bags on the kitchen counter – echoing the honey blonde's gesture – before staring at her; disarmed.
"What's happening, Maur'? What's wrong?"
Almost surprised by Jane's question, the scientist forced a smile before shaking her head; dismissing it all with a gesture of the hand.
"I... I am just tired. I think I will go lie down for a while if you don't mind."
And without waiting for any reply, Maura opened the door that led to the patio to go and settle there in the double hammock they had bought a few weeks earlier. A few seconds passed by during which Jane didn't move. Lost in her thoughts, she was staring blankly at the open door; the sun sliding on the floor through it. She didn't like it when her partner locked herself in her own world, plunging in a silent pain instead of expressing it out loud.
Shaking her head, Jane stepped out in the patio and stopped near the hammock. Maura was huddled – her back turned at her – and was staring at the wall in silence. Carefully, the brunette slid next to her and began to caress her partner's temple; sweetly, tenderly.
"Why won't you talk to me?"
The blonde finally turned around to face the detective. A soft – slightly mysterious – smile embraced her lips. The palm of her hand came to rest on Jane's stomach in a protective gesture. She shook her head.
"Because it is nothing... It is just about me. I... I am looking forward to finally being able to hold this baby in my arms; being able to finally interact with our child. It is just that, really. It can't come soon enough. I am looking forward to finally experience the whole thing."
It had struck her in the middle of the Lamaze class as she had observed the women around. She was the only one who wasn't pregnant; the only one who didn't know much how it felt, what it was like. And it would always be like that. The thought was there – everyday – somewhere in her mind but she sort of managed to live with it; to accept it. Perhaps she was simply tired and the Lamaze class had been a bit too close to all these things; this latent sorrow that would always lie deep down within herself.
Jane understood the message hidden behind the words she had said and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
Holding her as tight as she could, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath; Maura's scent going dizzily to her head.
"Me too..."