Yikes! Again, I apologize. Usually I'm fairly adept at catching those RL fly balls but they were hitting them out of the park yesterday. Please don't ever worry that I won't finish, or that I'll disappear or something. I don't move fast at all. You could definitely catch me.

Massive thanks to my girls faireyfan and les16. They're way too good to me. Any mistakes left are mine.

"You ever been… hey, what's your name again?" The blonde sitting at the bar was well on her way to incoherent. She'd latched onto Bella's arm with all ten brightly manicured fingers, determined to get a little free therapy on her vacation. "My god… your boobs are fantastic," she muttered, staring.

"Bella, remember?" Bella answered, stifling a grin. "And …uh, thanks."

"Well Bella, you look a little young to me but… you ever been married?"

"I haven't." Bella tilted her head. "But hearing your story I'm guessing you wouldn't recommend it?"

"Oh good Lord, no. You oughta thank your lucky stars, honey. Ain't nothing down that path but heartache and misery." The blonde sighed mournfully into her fruity cocktail, her beady eyes following Edward as he worked behind the bar. She was older, still beauty-pageant pretty, but reeked of desperation… with just a touch of insanity.

"Now, hot bartenders like the ones we have here," Blondie declared, her volume increasing as she went on, "well, they make the world go round. I hope you're gettin' some of that." She nudged Bella with her elbow. "Somebody 'round here ought to be gettin' some of that." Her palm smacked the lacquered surface of the bar with every determined word.

Bella glanced over at Edward, the blush already stealing over her face. He was laughing at the other end of the bar but she couldn't tell if he'd heard that or not. With any luck he wasn't paying them any attention. She should probably stop with this one, she thought, tracing the rim of her glass. She'd already had three drinks tonight. Alcohol had the unfortunate effect of erasing her restraints and ratcheting up her loopy emotions. Already her heart was overflowing with a mix of possession, melancholy and plain old lust. She sighed and turned back to Blondie, wearing a half-smile that was evidently somewhat enigmatic, because the other woman's eyes widened before she emitted a decidedly unladylike snorty gasp.

"Oh my gawd!" she screeched. "Girl, you've already hit that!"

Bella glared. "Shhh!"

"Right!" Blondie whisper-yelled, making a show of zipping her mouth and throwing away the key. "How was it? It was good, wasn't it!" She tossed back the rest of her drink.

Bella angled her body, shielding her face with a casually placed hand. Giving a theatrical grimace, she began a silent conversation in a language that all girls seemed to know.

Oh my god, don't even go there, she said wordlessly, with a single raised eyebrow.

Blondie's hand flew up to her mouth. It was that bad?

Oh yeah. Worse. Bella bit her lip, and held her thumb and finger an inch apart.

No! Blondie stared at her own fingers, mimicking the length Bella was demonstrating. Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

Any other… redeeming qualities?

Bella slowly shook her head with a sad look. None.

Blondie gazed at Edward, pity and horror clearly on her face.

He paused in the middle of shaking a martini. "What?" he laughed.

"Such a tragedy," Blondie sighed, her eyes fixed on Edward's crotch. "I think I need to go find something sad on the jukebox to show the depths of my disappointment. Excuse me." She slipped off the barstool then patted Bella's arm. "I'll be back darlin'. We'll see about getting you hooked up with one of those nice college boys you were talking to earlier."

Bella giggled to herself as she watched her bar-buddy wobble across the floor. She'd liked Jake's friends just fine. The girls had been friendly and the boys had been… boys. But there would only ever be one guy for her, and he was… oh. Oh great. He was mixing her another drink. Was there some kind of universal bar rule that said you had to be drinking to have the privilege of sitting in one of those high spindly chairs up against the counter? What if all you wanted to do was ogle the cute bartender?

"Do you know her?" Edward mixed Bella another drink to keep his hands busy, and to keep her sitting here at the bar. They'd been swamped with a good crowd, the college kids' enthusiasm sparking the party atmosphere, tempting the locals and the handful of renters to stay out a little bit later. He'd never enjoyed a night of work more. But maybe that was because of the pretty girl twirling her hair in front of him.

Bella pursed her lips in such a way that it caused Edward to accidentally stab himself with a cherry pick. He inspected his hand with a frown and pushed her drink forward across the bar. "Edward, have you been… listening to us?" She asked him slyly, sliding the cherry off and nudging it slowly into her mouth.

"Of course not!" He laughed weakly and braced his arms on the counter, watching her mouth chew the cherry he'd just put in her drink. His fingers itched to touch her, graze her cheek, tuck her hair behind her ear… something. He gripped the hard rolled edge of the bar instead.

"You know what my old gran said about eavesdropping, Edward?" Jake glided up to the end of the counter. "Two Bud Lights."

The table full of fraternity boys howled in displeasure as strains of jukebox Patsy Cline crept around the room.

Crazy… I'm crazy for feeling… sooo lonely…

Edward smirked. "Your gran said, Two Bud Lights?"

"Nope, nope, not trying to be funny, Edward. I'm trying to be serious, here."

Edward shot him a sour look as he popped the tops off the beer, handing them over. "Fine. I don't know what your gran said. But I'm sure you'll tell me."

Jake looked toward heaven for a moment and laid a hand over his heart. "She said… 'Jacob my dear boy, if you eavesdrop, you're bound to hear truths about yourself… big…'" Jake held his thumb and finger an inch apart, "'and small.'"

Bella burst out laughing.

"I think you're forgetting that I can fire you, Jake," Edward remarked dryly, watching as the kid gave Bella a fist bump. Well, that was the last free drink she was getting. Jake chuckled and ambled away toward the dwindling crowd. It was about time for last call.

"And you," he said, zeroing in on Bella, "I'll have to think up something especially horrible for your punishment." His grin came back full force, warmth blooming inside his chest at the sound of her giggle. "Although I will make a concession for the fact that you've sat next to…" he glanced over to the jukebox.

I'm craaazy for trying… and craaazy for crying…

Blondie was slowly sliding against the glassed front, the flickering bands of neon lights moving up her body as she went down to meet the hardwoods, up close and personal. "Please don't puke on the music, lady," Edward sighed, scratching through the rough stubble covering his chin. "I need to escort her home before she decides to spend the night on my floor." He smiled at Bella. "At least she managed to get her songs in the queue, even if she won't remember hearing them."

"I feel so sorry for her," Bella said, turning to watch the slide. "I mean, she was obnoxious, but her husband- well, her ex-husband now I guess… he cheated on her and lied about it for years. She said that everybody knew about it except her."

"I think it happens a lot." he shrugged, wiping down the counter. Edward personally had never cheated on anyone but that was probably because he'd never had a relationship that had lasted beyond six months. The effort of keeping a girlfriend while being with someone else had never appealed to him; it was too hard to hide all the lies that inevitably had to be told. He'd watched his friends in high school and college, girls and guys alike, fall into that trap… and all the unneeded dramatics that went with it. No thanks.

He assessed the room, seeing who might need another drink before he closed up shop. "If there's one thing I hate though, it's a liar," he said, popping the cap off a beer for himself. A surprising flash of chagrin passed over Bella's face as he took a long swallow.

"Right. I hate that too but…" she started and stopped, blew out a breath like she was gathering courage, "there are all kinds of lies, you know? Some are so much worse than others."

Edward laughed. "I'm not talking about lying to a girl when she asks if her ass looks big in a pair of pants. That's not a lie, that's just self-preservation," he said, leaning over the bar on his elbows. This was starting to get interesting, getting into Bella Dwyer's head.

Bella seemed flustered. "What if you had to keep a secret… for someone else?"

"Well, you just don't talk about it. You'd say that you couldn't tell whatever it was… you shouldn't have to make something up to get out of it." Edward watched her carefully.

"But what if it helps someone else? What if-"

"I'd say that help was relative. Who are you to decide anyway? It sounds like you're taking away someone's choice in the matter." He smiled to soften his words. "Hey, you know I'm just playing devil's advocate, right?"

"I guess," Bella frowned.

"Ahh, I see. You're keeping secrets aren't you?"

"No!"

He grinned as he went through the receipts of the running tabs, glancing up at her through his lashes. "You're lying, Bella. I can tell."

"Stop it, Edward." She glared, pointing a tiny paper umbrella in his direction. "You can't tell me that you wouldn't lie to someone… on their deathbed for instance, to make their last moments easier?"

Edward's ready retort died in his throat as he felt his skin flash hot and cold. He was unexpectedly plunged into his six-year old self, scared and trapped in a sterile hospital room, watching his father say a final goodbye to his mother. The nurse in charge of Edward had forgotten him, or maybe she'd had better things to do, since he doubted babysitting was in her job description. Edward had already kissed his mom goodbye and promised her he'd be a good boy. He was supposed to be getting ice cream in the hospital cafeteria. Except no one had come for him and now he was caught, a wide-eyed witness to his father's crippling grief. Never in his life had Edward felt such turmoil and confusion in his chest, as he pressed himself down into a dimly-lit corner of the room, out of sight behind his mother, lying prone on her silver wheeled bed (can I race you down the hall, Mama?) and his father, who had no idea Edward was in the room.

Edward's feet hurt horribly; his toes were all scrunched. He stared at the blue Transformer shoelaces on his tennis shoes as the rise and fall of his father's murmurs colored the white room, wondering how he would ever get new shoes now that his mom was leaving. Edward was pretty sure his father had no idea how to buy the right kind of kid stuff. He wondered if his dad had ever played Monopoly.

His eyes found the door to the bathroom, but it was so far away. He didn't dare move.

Edward had never heard anyone beg and plead before, especially not a man like his father, who'd hadn't been an asking sort of person anyway. His deep voice seemed naked, broken and bleeding, but at the same time strong when he promised that he would never love another woman; that he would never marry again, even though she had told him he should. His mom whispered that his father was too young to live the rest of his life alone. But he shook his head and promised again… his father had sworn that there would never be anyone else.

Edward had closed his eyes and laid his head on his knees when finally, after what seemed like a lifetime later, it was quiet. The metal chair squeaked when his father got up, making Edward's heart take off like a rocket. He hurt all over, and his butt was numb from sitting on the floor. An achy, empty pit occupied the place where his stomach used to be and he had to pee really, really bad. Overriding all that though, was the terror of being discovered, because he knew he wasn't supposed to be there. It hurt to breathe, he was so scared.

"Daddy?"

It hadn't mattered in the end, because even though his father had stared Edward right in the eyes, he'd looked through him, like Edward wasn't there at all. It would become the start of a new trend.

Carlisle had married Esme two years later. In hindsight of course, Edward couldn't fault his dad for wanting to marry again, even though it'd taken him several years to come to that conclusion. He could fault him for keeping Esme a secret until it was too late. Not that Edward could have done anything anyway, though no one had thought to ask him if he'd even wanted a new mom. At the end of the summer, the housekeeper had picked him up from the airport and there was Esme, living in his house, sleeping on his mom's side of the bed. They'd been married for months and he hadn't even known.

He'd eventually grown to love Esme, despite the hurt that came with acknowledging that he'd had a stepmother for more years of his life than he'd had his own mother.

Sometimes it surprised Edward to discover that a frightened and forgotten six-year old boy was still there inside him, still unable to breathe, unable to process the rage that made him want to hit and kick and hurt his own father and scream at the top of his lungs, You LIED, Daddy, you LIED, YOU LIED!

"Edward! Edward…" Bella was standing on the rung of her barstool so she could drape herself over the counter and grab his forearm. She stared at him, brown eyes wide, turbulent. Her mouth opened and closed because she didn't know what to say now that she actually had his attention.

Edward mentally shook himself, realizing all too late that he was looking at Bella through a haze of unshed tears. He jerked his arm out from under her hand and spun around. "Jesus," he muttered in a strangled voice, tipping his head back. He laughed out loud, as if to say, hey, it's cool, I puss out like this all the time, no big deal! When really, he had absolutely no clue what the fuck was wrong with him these days.

Jukebox Patsy Cline had moved on from being crazy… now she was falling to pieces…

You want me to forget… pretend we've never met…

After a minute, he felt like he could turn back around. No one had been at the bar except Bella, so that was a relief. She was avoiding his eyes though, picking at the ends of her hair, twisting her fingers in and out, pulling and tugging. He drew in a shaky breath, trying to decide how exactly one apologizes for… what, exactly? Spacing out? How about almost crying like a freak at an inappropriate moment while ruining an interesting conversation in the meantime?

And that was when Blondie came back from the dead.

"Hey!" she slurred from the floor beside the jukebox, her head all lit up from the bubble lights behind her teased hair. "Hey baby, heeey sexy bartender…you got any food? Chicken wings? Or something?"

Bella whirled around to send a pleading look to Jake. A quick glance at Edward and Jake was hooting and hollering, drawing all eyes his way.

"I heard someone call my name!" he crowed as he sauntered toward the jukebox. "Was it you, beautiful?"

"I dunno," Blondie winked from the floor, following his lead without missing a beat. "Is your name Sexy?"

His lips twitched into a smile. "How'd you know?"

"I'm smart," she said, tapping her forehead as Jake gently helped her to her feet.

"Where're you staying, sweetheart? I'm gonna walk you home."

"What a gentleman you are!" she exclaimed as she fell into his arms.

"I can't believe it, you know my middle name too! Whoa there… be careful. There's a step here. You're like the eighth wonder of the world…" Jake winked at his girlfriend as he helped Blondie out the door and into the night.

Edward cautiously opened the door, noticing the light was still on.

"How're you feeling?" he asked quietly, standing in the doorway.

The room fell silent as the TV clicked off. "Ah, I'll be alright. Don't you worry, son." Peter grimaced as he sat up in the bed. "How'd it go tonight? Sounded like a pretty good crowd you had down there."

"Yeah. It was a good crowd."

"Jake do okay?"

"Yeah, Jake was just fine. He's a good kid."

"You're a good kid," Peter laughed, "the best." He groaned seconds later as he rubbed his stomach. Edward automatically took two quick steps in, his eyes bouncing around the room, searching.

"Where's that medicine I gave you? Did you take it?"

"I took it," Peter sighed. He lay back on his pillow gingerly. "Its just indigestion, Edward. Don't worry, kid- I mean it." He turned off the lamp but the room stayed bright with moonlight. "It'll be gone by in the morning."

"I am worried, okay? I'm gonna call tomorrow. See if they can move your appointment up." He shifted from foot to foot, ran his hand through his hair. "Uncle Pete?"

An irritated reply was ready to come out of Peter's mouth when he finally registered the strange tone in Edward's voice. He sounded… forlorn. His nephew was a grown man, but seeing his shadowy form slumped in the doorway, hesitating, with his hands shoved in his pockets suddenly reminded Peter of the boy he'd worked so hard to bring back to life after Elizabeth had died. Strange… but maybe not so strange. Edward was still so very young in a lot of ways.

"Well, you do what you gotta do, kid, alright? I'm all yours," Pete said roughly. "Now get your ass to bed. It's two in the morning."

Edward visibly relaxed. "Yeah, okay. Thanks Uncle Pete."

"No problem, kid. See you tomorrow."

"Sure. G'night."

The door was almost closed when Peter spoke up. "Hey… I love you, kid. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Edward replied, the moon catching the white of his smile. "I love you too."

May 2008

He pulled the Cubs cap down further over his eyes to disguise how he'd been shamelessly cataloging every creamy inch of her as he walked over. A hint of blue peeked out the collar of her shirt. Bathing suit straps. Holy fuck, what he wouldn't give to see that. "You know it's warm enough," he finally said, grinning when she jumped. "Stop staring at it. Why don't you just go in?"

Bella looked down from her porch at the beautiful boy standing in the sand. "I didn't know you were there," she said offhandedly. She looked out at the water, calm, blue-green and almost windless today. She missed it… was beginning to crave it, now that the temperatures were rising. "Not much of a swimmer, I'm afraid," she said evenly, hoping she sounded halfway believable.

The smile was obvious in his voice. "Ha- now I know that's bullshit. I heard you tell that blonde chick that barfed on Jake that night that you swam for your high school team. Don't tell me you were lying about that."

Bella shifted, his blunt answer throwing her off balance for a second. Then, irritated that he'd been eavesdropping after all, she simply frowned and shrugged. "You heard wrong. I never said that."

"You really can't swim?" he laughed. "I bet you're afraid of the water. Come on, little mouse. I'll teach you."

"Of course I can swim," she snapped, glaring at him.

"What, you don't feel like it, princess? Water not the perfect temperature?"

She wondered what in the hell had gotten into him. "Shut up, Edward."

"You say that a lot, you know. You're beginning to hurt my feelings."

Startled into a grin, she turned her face into the slight wind, enjoying the freshness. "Well… well, maybe you should take a hint." Bella tried to sound exasperated but she couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled to the surface.

Edward absolutely lit up inside at the sound of her laugh. Mission evidently accomplished. "Come to the store with me then. I'll let you carry my bags."

"Well…"

"If you're really good I'll let you pay, too. Come on."

She walked over and sat on the steps to be close to him. What a tremendous flirt he was today! This was a side of Edward she'd never really seen before and she had to admit she loved it. In Colorado, the weight of the world had been on his shoulders; he'd been tired and anxious a lot of the time. Here, she could feel the nudge as he tested the boundaries of their friendship but it was pretty evident that he felt safe in whatever it was that they were doing. This… invisible dance of theirs.

"Fine," she smirked. "But you're buying me ice cream."

"Sold! Let's go," he said, doing a little caper in the sand.

"Double scoops."

"Get your sweet ass in gear, girl or I'll throw you over my shoulder." He grinned evilly, tugging her ponytail when she finally hopped off the porch to walk with him.

"No way…" he frowned at the newspaper.

"What?" she asked, looking over at him. "You do realize you're reading the newspaper wrapped around your fish, don't you? Whatever it is, it's old news."

They were walking back across the street from the grocery, where Edward had bullied her into buying a box of Cocoa Puffs that would probably end up at the back of her pantry. And now he was upset over the news wrapped around his amberjack.

Edward followed her to the porch looking fairly put out, flopping down dramatically on the steps. "I know I suck at keeping in touch with people, but look at this." He waved his bundle of seafood in Bella's general direction. "A friend of mine gets married and he doesn't even invite me. "

Bella made a vague sympathetic sound as she sat down next to him. "I'm sorry," she said. "Don't take it personally though, it was probably a small wedding or something. Who…" she trailed off as the blood drained from her face. She didn't need to finish her question because all of a sudden she knew.

Oh god.

"Emmett McCarty," he murmured, unwrapping the fish to read more of the article. "and Rosalie Swan…" He glanced back up the paper, inspecting the smiling couple in the picture. "I don't think I know her."

Mayday! Mayday!

"Don't unwrap that here! It's 90 degrees outside!" Bella shrieked, fumbling with her bags, throwing them inside the screen door. "Here," she said, her hand reaching, "here, give it to me and I'll rewrap it in… ah, foil and it'll keep longer."

"You know anybody named Swan? Why does that sound so familiar?" He rubbed his face, the scruff a pleasant feel on the tips of his fingers. "I think I'll give him a call sometime soon. See what's up." He finally looked over at Bella. "Hey... geez, you okay?"

"Yeah... just…"

"What?"

"I'm just …really worried about that fish, Edward. It needs to be refrigerated. Immediately. Have you ever had food poisoning from fish? It's horrible. Like, bubonic plague, edge of death horrible." She babbled on and on, oblivious to Edward's growing amusement.

"Fine," he laughed, unwrapping further. "I'm going to keep this paper-"

"No! The sun can't touch it!" She snatched the halfway-wrapped fish from his hands and ran inside.

"Uh… Bella?" Edward stuck his head inside her screen door after a moment. "I'm gonna go run the milk over to my house, okay?" He was quiet for a second, listening. "Then I'm coming back." Pause. "And we're having a little talk …about your irrational fear of fish."

"Okay!" she yelled from the back of the house.

He grinned all the way home. Strange, beautiful, sexy girl.

The TV blared, unnaturally loud, in the house.

"Hey, old man!" Edward yelled, looking around for his uncle. What the fuck? Was Pete going deaf? He finally found the remote control on the floor, along with almost all the little throw pillows that usually stayed on the couch, courtesy of Mrs. Cope's foray into needlepoint a few years ago. "Uncle Pete?"

The charged silence that filled the house after he shut off the TV was unsettling. He ignored the milk by the door and raced upstairs, dread twisting up his insides. "Pete! Where are you?"

Edward blew out a loud breath in relief, finding his uncle leaning on the counter in his bathroom. "Hey, I was calling you… you must not have…" his voice dwindled as he went cold.

Pete's shirt was wrongly buttoned. Just one… just one button out of line. The slightest effect of crookedness. The meds from the cardiologist, sprinkled all over the tiled floor, the old man's face, drawn and white, his hands clenched in pain, one still clutching the safety cap from the bottle. Words, prayers, tears, shameless begging all clogged in Edward's throat at the same time, fighting with the air he desperately needed to breathe.

This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening

The phone was already in his hands when he caught the full weight of his uncle in his arms, bringing Edward to his knees. "Pete, Pete, stay with me, okay? Stay—stay with me," he chanted mindlessly as he grabbed for a nitroglycerin pill that had rolled onto the carpet. His eyes were searching for his phone that had been knocked out of his hand as he brought the pill from the floor to Pete's mouth.

Every second counts, don't fuck this up, every second counts

"Hey, you gotta swallow this, okay, here it is, come on, come on…" Phone, where's the phone, there it is, there… the phone lay a few feet away, glowing merrily, ready for direction. He looked back at Pete, his head cradled in the crook of Edward's arm. He wasn't swallowing the pill, he wasn't doing anything, godfuckingdammit. Edward reached desperately for his phone, groaning, managing to tap the screen once, but it didn't bring up the keypad, it brought up the last person called…

riiiing….

riiiing…

"Well, you'll be hap-"

"I need you!" Edward half-sobbed in the direction of the phone, reality crashing down on him. "Bel- call 911!" He didn't know what to do… he knew CPR, but Pete was still breathing, his heart was still beating, he couldn't think, couldn't think…

And suddenly she was there, coaxing him to lay Uncle Pete down on the floor, here's a pillow for his head, here's my phone, Edward, talk, tell them what happened- the ambulance is on the way… he could finally breathe again as calm brown eyes met green… and she pushed the hair off his forehead, her fingers skimming back down his face. God, he was sweating like crazy, but he was cold, so cold…

"I'm here, Edward, I'm here," she said. And her voice was like warm spring sunshine, clear, soothing, the sweetest sound.

Thank you so much for reading! If you're ever wondering where I am again, feel free to find me on FB or twitter... primarycolors fanfic and primarycolors1...

Have great week... see you on Friday!