Relentless chapter 38
Once Steve was able to calm Anna down, he led her back to her and Bucky's room in an attempt to get her to rest. Something that never happened when Wanda came into the room shortly after Anna sat down. She had Anna standing right back up, fiddling with her necklace again.
"How is he?" Anna asked, tightening her grip on the metal star.
"He's okay. He's stable," Wanda assured her.
Anna's legs went out from under her, causing her to sag back onto the bed. He'd made it through. Somehow he'd survived. She hadn't lost him. Pushing herself off the bed, stumbling a little on the way, Anna embraced Wanda, pulling her closer.
"Thank you for saving him," Anna murmured, tears collecting behind her eyes. If it hadn't been for Wanda, James never would have made it off the raft alive, let alone back to Wakanda, back to her.
"Can I see him?" Anna asked, finally releasing Wanda.
"I didn't just come to give you the good news," Wanda smiled, motioning for Anna to lead the way before turning back to Steve. "You can come too."
Steve's hand found Anna's as they descended the last steps to Shuri's lab. They drew strength from each other, to prepare for what they'd see. Anna was thankful Steve was there when they turned the corner and saw James lying unconscious, hooked up to monitors and IVs, and the remaining bit of his left arm covered in a black cloth.
Taking the seat Akita offered, she pulled it as close to James as she could, her left hand slipping into James' right. The heart monitor beeped out a reassuring pattern that didn't deviate from normal, reminding Anna that James was alive, he was okay, for now. She couldn't take much more of his brushes with death.
"I can't count the number of times I thought I've lost him," Steve murmured, squeezing Anna's right hand tighter. "Each time digging deeper into my heart. I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never feel this way again. He's done enough fighting. He deserves peace."
"Every time we search for peace, war finds us," Anna murmured, raising James' hand to her lips and pressing a kiss against his fingers. "But I'd rather have a life with him filled with uncertainty, constantly fighting for each other, than a peaceful one without him."
"I'm not giving up on a peaceful life just yet," James murmured, startling Anna when he blinked his blue eyes open to meet hers.
Anna rose from her chair so abruptly, it tipped over. Releasing Steve's hand she moved her right hand up to push James' hair out of the way before leaning down and kissing him fiercely; a kiss that held all her fear, anxiety, and relief.
"How are you feeling?" Anna asked when she pulled away just enough to ask the question.
"Much better now," James smiled, using the hand he had left to pull Anya gently back down to him.
While the others awkwardly looked at different points around the room during the reunion, Shuri stood by watching with a huge smile. Reunions after a near death experience were much more romantic in person than in the movies.
"Perhaps we should let him and his heart rest," Akita suggested, clearing her throat. It had Anna pulling back from James.
"We should listen to your doctor," Anna murmured, even though she didn't want to let him go just yet.
"You're a doctor. You thought it was fine a few minutes ago," James pointed out with a weak smile.
"I'm not really an impartial party," Anna countered, her right hand resting against the side of his face. "We can pick this back up later."
"Promise?" James asked, watching Anna right her chair and sit beside him.
"Promise," Anna said. "And I should probably give Steve a chance to say hi."
"Don't worry doc, I won't kiss him," Steve joked as he came to stand on Bucky's other side. "You scared me Buck. Please stop almost dying on me."
"I'll try," James agreed. "I don't think I'll be able to get into too much trouble until I get cleared."
….
Anna spent the next few nights sleeping in a chair beside James. She couldn't bring herself to leave him, too afraid if she did something would go wrong. It was superstitious, something Anna had never been, but every time they were separated something bad always happened to one of them. Although, to be fair bad things have happened even when they were together, but at least they didn't come as close to dying when they were together.
"Enough," Akita finally caved when she came to check on Barnes and found Anna sleeping in the hardback chair again. "Barnes' ECG has been remaining steady. IfI clear him, I want you both to rest."
"Deal," they both agreed readily.
When the leads to the ECG were removed from his chest, James swiveled to the side and slid off the hospital bed in one swift movement. Swaying a little, Anna rested her hands on his chest, helping to steady him. When Akita moved to help them, Shuri stopped her. Anna had it covered, and it was sweet watching the two of them lean on one another as they left the lab. She wasn't about to let Akita interrupt them.
"Does it hurt at all?" Anna asked when they made it back to their room, motioning towards the remnants of James' left arm.
"Not since Shuri wrapped it in this cloth. It's just weird only having one arm. It's throwing me off balance," James shrugged, easing himself down onto the bed.
Hesitantly, Anna moved her hand closer until it touched the smooth metal of his shoulder. Slowly she moved it down until her hand cupped over the cloth at the end. It was soft compared to the metal, but she couldn't feel any hint of the electricity it was absorbing.
"What are you thinking about?" James asked.
"How close I came to losing you," Anna said, resting her other hand on his chest, over his heart. "How many times I've almost lost you, and you've almost lost me. We can't keep doing this to each other."
"What are you suggesting?" James asked, his chest tight at what Anya could be alluding to. He couldn't walk away from her. If that was what she was asking, he wouldn't do it. He couldn't.
"Once you're healed up, physically and mentally," Anna said, her fingers moving to dance across his forehead. "We stay off grid. No one knows about Wakanda. We could ask to stay here, help out where we can. Raise our child in peace."
"I have one addition to make to your plan for our future," James said, his heart relaxing when he realized Anya didn't mean to separate them. "A wedding."
"You do know you're legally dead, right?" Anna asked, smiling anyways.
"Only in the United States. Here in Wakanda, as far as they know, James Barnes is very much alive," James corrected, his eyes softening. "I want to tie myself to you in every way possible. You already said yes," he pointed out.
"Alright. We'll get married, stay off the grid, and raise our child in peace," Anya agreed, her hand moving to her stomach at the mention of their child.
Unable to resist, James reached for her, pulling her down to him and kissing her long and slow. Titling her head with his left hand, he deepened the kiss, causing her toes to curl against his legs. Moving his hand down her body until he reached her hips, he gently pressed her hips down until they were flush against his, causing Anya to release a delicate moan.
"This is not resting," Anya said, her voice a tantalizing whisper.
"I almost died," James said, his voice gravelly. "Forgive me if I don't give a shit about resting. I just want to be as close to you as possible."
…
They spent the rest of the morning lying in bed, the blankets tangled around them and Anya's legs draped over his as he held her. James could spend his whole life like this. It was serenity at its finest. Until his stomach grumbling interrupted the silence and made Anya move from their bed.
"I'll go find us some food," Anya murmured, kissing him on the cheek before slipping out from under the covers.
Throwing on the first pair of clothes she saw, Anna started out for the kitchens. When she arrived she found Wanda at the stove, and few of the Wakandan Chefs milling about.
"You look much better, less worried," Wanda commented as she stirred whatever was in the pot before her. "He must be doing better."
"I think it's safe to say he's pretty much fully healed," Anna said, her cheeks warming a bit at the memory of their earlier activities. "Physically at least," she added thinking about how Hydra had warped James' mind so it could be controlled with seven little words.
"Give him time and I'm sure his emotional and psychological wounds will heal as well," Wanda assured her, taking a taste of her concoction before adding more pepper.
"I'm not so sure," Anna murmured, grabbing a basket and filling it with a loaf of bread and some cheese. "There's something I want to ask of you."
"Do you need me to give him good dreams so he can sleep easy?" Wanda asked.
"Not exactly," Anna hedged, leaning against the counter surrounding the stove. "Hydra…did something to his brain. They programmed him so certain trigger words would revert him back to the Winter Soldier."
"And you want me to remove this programming?" Wanda sighed, pausing in her stirring.
"I was hoping you could try." Anna just wanted James to be free from Hydra's and anyone else's control once and for all.
"It sounds complicated. I've never undone someone else's mental programing," Wanda said. "I could end up doing more damage than what's already done."
"Just think about it, please. I've looked at every medical journal remotely related to it and couldn't find any answers," Anna said, grabbing a few more items before heading back to James.
A sense of Déjà vu swept over Anna when she stepped into their room bearing food, carrying her memory back to when they were both held hostage by Hydra and she'd bring food back for him. They'd come so far since then. Everything they'd been through had brought them here: engaged, expecting, and relatively safe.
Setting the basket beside them on the bed, Anna turned towards James, studying him. Unexpectedly she was filled with too many emotions to control, and she felt tears streaming down her cheeks.
"What's wrong?" James asked, cupping her cheek with his hand, his brow creasing as he gazed into her eyes.
"Nothing," Anna murmured, wiping her tears away. "I love you."
"And that makes you cry?" James asked, holding back a smile.
"I think it's the whirlwind of emotions I've gone through the last week finally catching up to me," Anna defended, exhaling a shaky breath.
"Come here," James murmured, pulling Anya against his side. "You are the love of my life. There are not enough words or languages for me to explain how much I love you," he said, kissing the top of her head.
They sat together for a while, holding onto one another. When Anna's tears dried, she pulled the basket closer and they dug into the food she'd brought. Anna had to help him some, as he wasn't used to working with just one hand.
"I talked to Wanda today, about her trying to fix the part of your brain triggered by those words," Anna commented, biting into the sandwich she'd made.
"Is that why you took so long getting food?" James teased, trying to keep the mood light. Just thinking about that fake psychologist using those words and what it did to his head had his muscles tensing.
"She's afraid of doing even more damage," Anna said. "But I think she's willing to try, if you are."
"I want to be completely free of Hydra and what they've done to me," James said after a long pause. "I don't want to live in fear of what I might do if someone else uses those words."
"Okay," Anna said, snuggling closer to James. "Do you think it's weird, the amount of conversations we have about defying death?"
"Not with how many times we've defied it," James responded, moving the basket of food off the bed after they finished their sandwiches. Sinking further under the blankets, they curled into one another. Anya fell asleep first, listening to James' breaths as her head rested on his chest. Letting his eyes close once Anya drifted off, it didn't take long for him to follow Anya into unconsciousness. Finally getting the rest the doctor had ordered.
…
James and Anna were back in Shuri's lab the next day so he could go through some more tests, seeing as James bounced back much quicker than Akita had anticipated. While he was doing a stress test, shirtless, with electrodes strapped to him, Anna was appreciating the view from across the lab, the way his muscles would flex and relax with each movement.
"I heard you want Wanda to help fix his brain," Shuri commented standing beside Anna and nodding towards James.
"How do you know about that?" Anna asked, taking her eyes off James and glancing up at Shuri.
"I have ears everywhere," Shuri said cryptically before smiling widely and adding, "the kitchen staff told me. I think I have a way to test your theory about Wanda without her hurting him."
"You do?" Anna asked, skeptically. Shuri was a genius, but she couldn't imagine how she was going to test her theory accurately unless it meant practicing on another person or animal's brain.
"We'll start when Akita is done with him," Shuri insisted, sounding excited about it.
James hesitated when Anna approached him with Shuri's idea. Not that he didn't trust Shuri, but this was his brain they were talking about.
"What are you doing again?" James asked as he laid on the table, gripping Anna's hand tightly.
"I'm making a scan of your brain, a 3D replica, where we can locate the part that's affected by those words and Wanda can practice using her powers to remove it," Shuri explained as she clicked on of her Kimoyo beads and it emitted a blue light.
"And it's not going to hurt," James asked, eyeing the blue light.
"Not at all. Just relax, maybe close your eyes," Shuri said, moving the light towards his head.
Anna watched as Shuri scanned the light over his head, then projected the image in front of them. She'd never seen that kind of technology, and she could only imagine what good it could do in a lot of hospitals.
"All done," Shuri announced happily. "You can open your eyes now and stop squeezing Anna's hand so tight."
"Sorry," James murmured, loosening his grip as he sat up.
"Now, would you like me to build you a better arm?" Shuri asked, turning off the Kimoyo bead so the image of his brain disappeared. "One that won't break from a little laser beam."
"You can do that with your little laser thing?" James asked, glancing at her Kimoyo bead.
"Don't be silly. I need Vibranium and a number of other tools to make it. And surgery to replace your old model with mine. But I could do it if you want," Shuri shrugged as though she offered to make people metal arms all the time.
"Why?" James asked. Shuri kept doing favors for them. Eventually there had to be a cost.
"Because I like Anna, and you've grown on me. Don't you want two hands to hold your baby?"
It was the baby comment that had James agreeing. He didn't like the idea of surgery, but it would be worth it to have his left arm back. Although he'd do his best to avoid any trouble, he could better protect Anna with both arms. And he missed wrapping both arms around her. He could only imagine he'd miss his arm even more when he wanted to play with their child.
"Great! I'll just need a mold of your shoulder and some measurements," Shuri insisted, leading James towards a chair so she could gather supplies. Anna was going to follow and hold his hand again when the phone T'Challa had loaned her started buzzing in her pocket. Only one person ever called her on that phone.
"Tony?" Anna said, causing James to look over at her.
"Congratulations on your prison break. Everyone make it out okay?" Tony's voice buzzed in Anna's ear.
"For the most part, yeah. There were some injuries, but everyone's alive," Anna said, her eyes shifting to James as Shuri was taking measurements of his shoulder, torso, and arm.
"Good, good," Tony let out a sigh. He'd been a little worried when Senator Ross had called him complaining about all the damage that had been done to the raft when 'Rogers and his crew of criminals' broke out the Avengers from it.
"Listen, I have to keep this short. I think the FBI are keeping tabs on my phone bill and too many long distance calls might be a red flag. But I have someone here who wants to say hi," Tony said, confusing Anna. Most of the Avengers she knew were in Wakanda with her. Unless Rhodey wanted to talk with her. They'd gotten close when Tony was declared dead all those years ago.
"Hi Anna," a familiar voice said, her words slow and her voice scratchy.
"Pepper?" Anna whispered, tears prickling her eyes. "You're awake."
The last Anna had heard she was still in a medical induced coma as her body tried to heal from the damage of the bomb James had set off in Bulgaria.
"She woke up last night." Tony got back on the phone. "She's processing things. She starts speech therapy and physical therapy tomorrow. She's okay. She's going to be okay."
The relief in Tony's voice had Anna crying, she seemed to be doing that a lot more lately. Pepper was going to be okay. She had healing to do, but she'd survive.
"If you don't propose to her now, you're an idiot," Anna said, waving off Shuri and James when they noticed her tears, holding up a thumbs up so they knew it was okay.
"Stay alive and out of trouble over there. I'll try to call you again soon," Tony responded, ignoring Anna's comment. "I love you Anna Banana."
"Love you too Tony," Anna said before line went dead.
"Everything okay?" James asked when Anna approached him. He could only hear half the conversation.
"Yes," Anna insisted, smiling through the tears that continued to fall. "Pepper's awake. She's going to be okay."
James felt the guilt gripping his heart loosen slightly. At least one of his mistakes hadn't cost someone their life. It had been nagging at him since he'd found out his actions, not as the Winter Soldier, but as himself, had hurt Pepper. And although it was good news, there was an uneasy feeling in his gut he couldn't shake. Everything was going so well, and when things were good in his life, something bad always followed.
A/N: I didn't make you wait as long this time! I hope you enjoyed it. I know it's shorter, but it's a slower chapter filled with fluff that was necessary after the action and emotional chapters. I've also posted the first chapters of both Steve/Emily's story called Serenity and a Clint/OC story. I'm not sure how often I'll post in those, or if I'll continue both of them. Check them out and let me know which you love the most and if you'd want to read more of them. Until this story is finished it will be my priority, but I like having story options that I can update.
FOR ANYONE INTERESTED I ADDED JAMES AND ANNA'S INTIMATE SEEN TO MY COLLECTION OF THOSE TYPES OF ONE SHOTS UNDER "IN A WAY HE WAS HER FIRST"
I'VE OFFICIALLY SEEN INFINITY WAR! POSSIBLE SPOILERS HERE SO SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT! Okay, so let me just say I have no idea what to do with this story now. I know most of the characters that 'died' in infinity war will not remain dead. Seb has like 5 more movie contracts with Marvel so he's not done. Black Panther and Spider Man were just introduced and have at least one if not two more movies to go. Tom Holland actually let it slip in an interview that there will be two more Spider Man movies so he can't stay dead, and I doubt T'Challa will stay dead. That being said, I have a feeling Dr. Strange knew giving up the time stone was the only way to save them all since he only saw one possible outcome where they came out on top. The next movie will have Captain Marvel, maybe even Ant Man and Hawkeye do something that turns back time and brings some if not all Avengers back.
These are all just theories of mine though, it's not cannon. So I don't know whether to continue through Infinity war plot and make up my own resolution, wait until the second one comes on and move on with the plot lines keeping as close to canon as I can, or just ending it on my own terms THOUGHTS PLEASE!
Onto Guest Review Responses:
To the guest who likes how well I blended my stories with marvel Canon: THANK YOU! I tried to intertwine them with Canon Marvel as well as I could while adding in Anna. I took special care with Anna and James' time in Romania to try to make the story of how they got the apartment somewhat logical. I'm really glad you pointed out you liked how well I did with that part in particular. I have seen Infinity War (see above author note) and I completely understand wanting some time with the characters in between Civil War and Infinity War. If I continue my Steve/Emily story it might touch on Steve's life during that time as well. And I didn't even realize how much I've written so far, so to know it's twice as many words as the first Harry Potter book kind of blows my mind. Thanks for pointing that fun fact out! And thanks for leaving a review, it means a lot.
Megan B: Shuri is one of my favorites too and I was so happy to fit her into this story. I'm so excited you thought of my story while watching infinity war (I did too because I was trying to think how my story would fit into the plot, but it's so awesome that one of my readers was thinking about it too. That means I've left a strong impression with my story.) Also that's awesome you went as Bucky. I've never cosplayed before because I suck at making costumes, but I always wanted to.
Jo: Yay for you loving the last chapter! And I have seen the movie and I'm still undecided on what to do. So very undecided.
Pam: I always thoroughly enjoy reading your reviews. Hearing your favorite parts and your thoughts and feelings. It was an intentional reference to Nat in Winter Soldier movie when she uses the wire on the guard, nice job picking up on that! When I decided to put Wanda as the person who's able to stabilize James it was because I figured she needed to show she could use her powers to help and not just destroy, and I wanted to show that she was strong enough to brave using her powers after they put her in a strait jacket (so cruel). I am so extremely pleased with your compliment of my ability to smoothly fit multiple storylines into one. I always try my best with that, so it's nice to hear I manage to do it well. I'm trying to update more frequently. This is only a week out about, which is good for me if we go by my recent sporadic posting. Sometimes it takes longer to work through certain chapters and I try to write them well to provide consistently good content to all my readers. Hope you enjoyed this fluffier update. We both know it won't last forever.
Rach
xoxo