moonstone: Ed can pull off the bunny slipper look, he's just sexy like that.
GreedxEd: How did you not manage to pry that little bit of information about Kedder out of me? And you better run from Scar. And that is sort of the reason yes... that's part of the upcoming plot, dear wife XD.
AMLF: More Roy/Ed is always yummy to have.
Bar-Ohki: It'd make more of an impact I think if I killed Nitro rather than Collins... not that I'm going to kill a certain llama.
Shinimegami: Oh Alice's reaction... how I hope it lives up to her crazy self.
.bunny: A lot of people seem to be feeling Marks and Collins as a pair, I'm not denying anything, but not agreeing either. I'm leaving that one open for interpretation. I'm glad you enjoyed all the rest of that though, including the Al/Marta bit. You're one of the few to have commented on it.
Koorii: I have no idea why you see Havoc... and I thought our minds pretty much ran on the same train tracks XD.
Cheru: Ed with bunny slippers is just too cute and yet sexy an image. He'd never agree with the adorable/cute part though, at least not with me.
copycat: That's always nice to hear.
Moonlit: I like my komodo dragons... XD. At least Al and Marta don't have to deal with one, eh?
haganeno: I'm glad you caught up! You were only two behind though, right? Yes... like Al/Marta... come over to the darker side. And one day I shall convert you to my favorite Al pairing and you'll be helpless. XD
vermilion: Oh I'm not worried about submitting "lemons", I just don't do it on this site. Any smut I write for any of my fics is on my FMA LJ.
So this chapter's a bit long... ish, according to Word page numbers. I figure you all will have no complaints though. It's meant to move along, so I hope it does.
I hope you enjoy the bits of chaos I threw in.
Chapter Thirty Six
Fane was starting to become suspicious, and just a bit unnerved by the events that had occurred from the moment he emerged from his bedroom. The cleaning staff had avoided him, which was not at all unusual for them. Rather, it was their manner of doing so. A quick about-face which allowed him only the briefest of glances to see smirks slipping onto faces. The embassy guards seemed to be trying to hide smiles behind some poor imitation of the Buckingham guards. Other staff appeared to be having trouble meeting his gaze as well without some form of humor appearing on faces or in eyes.
The most perplexing event was when the three escorts he employed for their favors at his calling slapped him across the face and then marched back to their shared room while talking loudly in angry voices about how they were packing their bags and leaving.
Now they were no more to him than a harem that he could easily replace. But…
"What the hell?!" Fane swore loudly as he rubbed at his abused face. "Go to bed for eight hours and the embassy goes to pot!"
With a sudden renewed energy, Fane took off for his office. Determined to figure out the reason for the strange happenings. The sudden suspicion that somehow Alice had something to do with it after his argument with her yesterday and his threats sent him running the rest of the way to his desk.
He didn't hear the giggles, coos, and grunting noises that men did when they were impressed by something as he fled.
Reaching his desk he fairly fell out of his chair he landed in it so fast and at such an odd angle. His knee did bang against the unforgiving wood, causing him to swear colorfully. He grabbed the phone and his coffee which he took a bracing swig of, and was halfway through dialing the number for the chateau she lived in before the phone suddenly dropped from his grip, and the coffee in his mouth spat across his desk in a wide arc.
"FUCKING SHIT!"
Fane suddenly gave an inhumane sort of wail, and began to repeatedly hit his head down on the desk. "I'm-"whack, "-gonna-" whack, "-kill-" smash, "-that satanic bint!" He righted himself, breathing heavily and now suffering of a headache, a bruised knee, several slaps, and loss of breath. In fact, he was fairly sure he was hyperventilating.
And he was.
Gasping for air he tried to steady himself as his face drained of color and the world began to go fuzzy. Several chants of "fuck" left him feeling better. Until all of a sudden he got a grip on himself, and the newspaper.
There, staring at him in blaring front page headlines with promises for the full story inside, was his motivation to stone that evil creature until she was nothing more than fertilizer for his zoo.
'LADY ALICE DOES IT AGAIN! KNOCKED UP BY ROMANIAN AMBASSADOR!'
"Does it again?!" Fane gaped at the headline. "That whore!" The fact that he had three whores now packing their things and departing the embassy gates did not cross his mind. "I did not, will not, ever sleep with that idiot!"
But no one else knew that… yet. They'd have to wait to confirm she was pregnant. And he was reasonably sure that she wasn't. She had her heart set on that Mustang, and he sincerely doubted that the man had put out for her.
"She is so screwed this time, I know she had something to do with this!" It had to be her idea of a good reaction to get back at him for his storming over and threatening her sorry ass yesterday. He had been sure she was behind the strange happenings around the embassy even before he'd seen that headline. And now this!
Of course, the fact he'd actually burst into her bedroom yesterday morning wasn't boding well for the whole affair. But by the end of today, it wouldn't matter. He'd have her fleeing to Siberia so fast the customs agents wouldn't know what hit them. And then all of this would go away as soon as it was found she wasn't pregnant.
Luckily it was the gossip column… so he shouldn't have much to worry about as far as people believing it. Right?
Lunging up from his chair he fairly flew from his office.
Chateau Home of Lady Alice, Family, and Underappreciated Servants
"Hunny?" George Laning, a lord of the country, husband to Lady Janet, and father to his own personal aristocratic nightmare was sitting at the breakfast table looking worn to the bone. In front of him lay a section of newspaper the family butler had just brought to him. Said butler usually kept him abreast of the happenings in the papers regarding his daughter. This time was no different.
Janet looked up from her marmalade and toast to spare her husband a glance. "Yes, dear?"
George, who had just managed to gulp down the headline while growing progressively wearier, left off reading the first paragraph. "I think we need to have a talk with Alice."
"Why?" Janet suddenly perked up, interested. "What's happened?"
In answer, he sent the newspaper her way across the table.
"Lady Alice does it again-" her mother read out loud, and then, "WHAT?!"
Her screech startled the servers waiting on them off out of the way. And several winter birds from beyond the dining room windows took flight with frightened peeps.
"AGAIN?!" Janet had turned an interesting mix of purple and white. "She was… was…"
"Pregnant?" George offered tiredly.
"-before?" Janet ended with wild eyes. And suddenly she turned completely white. "Do you think this is true? It'd ruin her forever if it were. A child out of wedlock and not to mention with him!"
George shook his head, "we'll have to talk to her. But either way, dear, you have to see what I've been saying all this time. You have to see the sense in it. If she's not corrected of these behaviors soon, and by force - no more of your mollycoddling - then she will bring the remainder of our family line down around her head. Our ancestors must be rolling in their graves, over two hundred years of blue blood in our veins and one child is well on her way to destroying that."
"But she's just a child… this has to be a lash out due to what happened with Mister Muravyov. You know it has to be, she had her heart set on him." Janet pleaded even as the paper crumpled in her death-grip.
"She's no longer a child. According to that-" George waved a disgusted hand at the morning's copy of The Guardian, "-she's about to have one. And she's in her mid-thirties! No, my love, she is no longer a child. It is time we acted before we lose her all together."
Janet looked down at the paper with a torn expression, and her eyes clenched shut as she took in the gravity of the situation at hand. It wasn't what she wanted to do at all… to give in to what her husband had wanted to do with their daughter for years. Alice was her only child… but her husband was right. Alice was no longer a child. "You must be the one to do it. I cannot be a part of it."
"No." George argued firmly. "You will not make me the singular bad parent. You're going to stand beside me on this one, Janet. Don't be selfish and cause even more problems for this family."
"But…" at her husband's reproachful gaze though, she felt her resolve waver. "Fine. She'll hate us both though, you know. We could lose her forever."
"Better a 'could', than the certainty that we will if we allow her to continue on this path. At least this way, she'll still be our daughter." George reminded her. "And once she's had time to think over all of this, a few years, she'll understand what we did was for her own good."
Janet bowed her head, suddenly realizing her loss of appetite. "And what of Mister Banciu?"
George reached for his coffee. "What of him?"
Janet looked up at her husband now with wide eyes and an incredulous look splashed across her face. "What do you mean "what of him?"? If he fathered a child, then he has certain obligations to be making."
"You said it yourself." George said once he'd finished drinking the remainder of his coffee. ""If he fathered a child…" we do not know yet that he did. But it doesn't matter, nor will it change what we're going to do about Alice."
Janet nodded, and took a deep breath to settle herself before asking, "do you want to deal with the arrangements or shall I?"
"You go on ahead, make sure everything is ready so that today she leaves. I have a few phone calls to make so that the others are informed I will be late for today's session of Parliament. I am sure Alice will not make this easy. Nor fast."
It was agreed upon, and the couple finished eating their breakfast only to maintain a façade of normalcy to the ever-watching eyes of the staff of the estate. Words were words, but acts of completely "losing it" as the commoners put it, would be sure to be circulated like wildfire and take on venomous twists.
When one lived with servants, there was never any privacy.
After breakfast the two went their separate ways to make phone calls before reconvening at their daughter's bedroom door. The now wrinkled copy of the newspaper clenched in George's hand. Janet was the one who rapped lightly on the door, before opening it and admitting them.
Alice was still asleep.
It was Janet who threw open the heavy curtains to let sunlight spill in, but it was George who as their daughter wriggled in bed muttering curses about still being asleep, tossed the newspaper onto her face.
"Wake up, Alice." George told his daughter firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Something Alice didn't pick up on in her woozy state. She'd been out late last night drinking. And then she'd been at Briarwood which was a hell of a drive either way you looked at it. Not to mention the stress of going to such a place coupled with the anger she'd felt towards Fane. She'd spent much of the early hours of the morning planning how to confront him… if the poor bastard was still alive.
And now here her parents were, flooding the room with that damned weak winter sunlight, and tossing things on her face? She wasn't of the nicest temperament in the morning as it was! "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep here!"
"No, Alice." George said firmly. "You're going to get out of this bed, and pack a suitcase. You're going on a little trip. So up, up! Your mother has already made the travel arrangements."
Janet nodded. "You must hurry."
Alice immediately perked up at this. "Really? Where am I going? Rome? Milan? Paris?" She asked eagerly, and then suddenly remembered Roy, Fane, and that damnable Edward Elric. "How long is the vacation?"
Surprising both her husband and herself, Janet was the first to answer. "Berane, Montenegro."
"Really?!" Alice practically squealed.
"Yes. Now while I realize that it is more noted for its monasteries, there is a lovely convent there as well." Janet added over her daughter's sudden launch into fantasized shopping.
Alice suddenly fell silent, staring at her mother much as if she'd taken leave of her senses. And then it happened. "CONVENT?!"
In the hallways, the maids all jumped at the sudden shouted word.
"You're sending me to a convent?!" Alice shrieked as she leapt off the bed, unconcerned with her flimsy nightclothes.
"Yes." George answered firmly. "And you will stay there until the other Sisters believe that you have amended your… sinful ways."
Alice rounded on him, "sinful ways? I'm your daughter! And my horses have won the majority of steeplechases for five years running! Money you've taken and used! You can't send me away!"
"You weren't riding the horses, dear." Janet sighed.
"Alice!" George barked, before the incensed blond could launch into another rant. "For years your mother and I have turned a blind eye to your… unsavory activities." And he took notice of the surprise flitting across his daughter's face. "Yes, we knew. But now things have gone too far. If we allow you to continue you'll not only ruin yourself, but ruin the rest of the family. We're sending you away for reform, to save us all. But tell us… is that article there in the paper true about you?"
All of a sudden, Alice remembered the newspaper. And her father's strange question put her previous comments at bay as she dashed over to swipe it up from the bed. She got to the headline about her – she knew where to look – and her eyes widened. "That BASTARD!"
"It will be since it's out of wedlock." Janet muttered.
"I'm not pregnant!" Alice hissed at her angrily. "I'd never spread my legs for that creepy spider of a man! Have a doctor check me, I don't care. But I am not going to a convent!"
"You are." George said firmly. "Pack your bag. The car will be around any minute now. The driver will make sure you get on the flight."
"The convent can have a doctor come in to perform the exam, but you're still going." Janet added.
Alice shook her head, and suddenly grabbed her dressing gown and drew it on. "I don't think so. I'm a grown woman and I can refuse to go!" With that, she slammed the newspaper into her father's chest.
"Alice," Janet began firmly, "either pack one bag, or all of them. Because if you do not go and are rid of your free nature with liquor and men, I'm afraid your father and I will have to disown you. As archaic as it is."
Alice stared from them, to the newspaper, and she saw white. "He did this to get back at me for using someone else. That bastard… I told him never to mess with me." And before either of her parents could stop her she was dashing out of her room covered only by her thin nightclothes and a dressing down.
"Alice!" Janet called after her, and dashed after her daughter.
George meanwhile put a hand to his forehead, praying for this all to somehow work out as he stood there still in the room.
"Alice!"
Alice could hear her mother calling after her, but she didn't respond. She didn't even care of the scene they were causing. She only ran faster, barely being careful on the stairs and nearly falling several times. And then she was dashing for the front door to run outside in the snow barefoot.
"Alice!" Janet got to the front door gasping, and looked around but couldn't see where the younger woman had gone. And footprints didn't help here, as the snow was disturbed by a great many footprints from staff of the estate.
Meanwhile Alice made it to the stable. She ignored the men who offered to help her, shoving them away at times. "Leave me alone or I'll fire you!" She snapped at one of the men in particular as she reached the stall of one of her horses.
"But milady!" The man protested, noticing the woman's mood was making the already high strung animal nervous. "You're not yourself!"
"You can fuck off like my parents." She growled, and grabbed the bridle from its hook and let herself into the stall.
The man hesitated, before dashing out towards the yard intent on finding said parents.
Alice was grumbling under her breath as she tacked the skittish animal which she repeatedly had to order to stay still. "Think they're so clever. Oh yes, disown me if I don't go to a convent. How clever. The time for playing nice is over. I'm not coming back until I have Roy with me, and then how will they say no? They won't. Roy's a prize to the family. He'll be mine."
She led the animal out of the stall and scrambled up onto the mare's back. Right before she laid her whip into the horse to send her shooting off out of the stable and galloping into the snow. They ploughed right through, heading for the gates.
"Too late." The member of the stable staff who had run to fetch one of the parents gasped as he and the Lady Laning watched Alice ride by.
Janet was more horrified at Alice's state of undress than anything. "Alice! Get back here!" And when she received no response she shoved the man next to her in Alice's direction. "Get after her!"
"Yes ma'am!" He immediately started running down the snow covered drive.
And then Janet's heart stopped as she heard the squealing of tires, and a scream from the horse.
Glass Rose Chateau
Thomas whirled around from the front door which he'd been knocking on for the past ten minutes or so when he heard the commotion. It sounded as if it had been close… very close. It was at that moment the door finally opened, and he turned back quickly to see his boss standing there in the doorway looking cheerful but curious.
"Thomas?" Edward questioned. "I wasn't expecting you, what is it?"
"I was going to ask if you had anything to do with that paper about Alice," Thomas admitted, and turned back around, "but I think there was some sort of an accident out there just now."
"Accident?" Edward asked sharply. "Which direction?"
Thomas pointed, "car tires. And I couldn't be sure but I think I heard a horse."
Edward blinked, and as another scream faintly reached them, he swore. "Never a dull moment. One minute." And he closed the door to walk over and find his boots and coat. "Roy, I may need your help."
"May need my help?" Roy asked as he wandered into view.
"I have a feeling that Alice just blew a gasket seeing that article." Edward explained.
"What article?"
"One I had written about her being pregnant with Fane's child."
Roy grinned, "I knew there was a reason I loved you."
Edward laughed, "of course. I'm not worried so much about what may have happened to her, bitch is trying to have me killed, but Thomas is out there. Says he thinks he heard a horse panicking."
Roy, who'd been in the process of getting on his own boots, suddenly stopped. "Oh no. No, no, no. I am not helping you with a horse. They're scary."
"Just come with me, you won't have to get near it. But I may need some help." He prodded, and smiled as Roy gave in with a huff. "Thanks, love."
"You owe me." Roy made sure to point out to him.
Edward grinned at him devilishly. "Then I'll make sure I pay in full very soon."
When they were both ready they met Thomas outside before walking down the driveway and then through the gates to see what had happened.
"Huh." Roy and Edward said together, as Thomas merely paled.
There was one car belonging to Fane turned on its side in a snowdrift. There were skid marks on the road showing where the man had swerved to avoid hitting the horse and rider who'd appeared out of nowhere around the corner. Said rider was on the road, snarling at the uniformed staff from the estate who'd been nearest and already made it. The horse was in the middle of the street looking ready to bolt in seven hundred different directions and trying to bite anyone she thought was too close.
"How can you 'huh'?" He asked in a strained tone.
Edward waved a hand. "You don't want to know the things I've seen. This is actually rather lucky."
Roy nodded, but gulped and backed away as his eyes riveted on the panicking horse. "Lucky but for that demon. You're on your own there, Fullmetal."
Thomas looked over at his boss. "You're going to try and catch it?"
"Don't really have much choice now do I?" Edward asked, and watched as the mare sidestepped so fast away from another staff member that she nearly tangled her feet and fell over. "Can't let her just stay out in the middle of the road." And he walked forward.
"I will never get that man." Thomas sighed.
Roy chuckled from where he watched over Edward at a safe distance. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you never will. Edward is a very private person. Has been since I first met him. Just when you think you have him figured out, he goes and does something that leaves you doubting whether you know him at all."
Thomas could easily believe that. "Even for you?"
"Yes…" Roy admitted. "Even for me. Being here with him has been quite the experience."
"Are you ever going to tell me why you call him that sometimes?"
"Call him what?"
"Fullmetal."
Roy smirked, and shook his head. "No. And if you want my advice, I wouldn't call him it yourself. There's a history behind that name and he would take offense if you used it."
"I'd never assume to become so familiar with him." Thomas assured the man.
Meanwhile they were both watching Edward shooing away the people that kept running over from the house trying to help so he could grab the frightened horse.
"Seriously, stay back or I'll let the horse brain you." Edward finally snapped, and it worked, for the last of the people who had still attempted to help. Which gave him room and time to actually focus on the horse.
"It's going to brain him." Roy muttered darkly, glaring at the skittish animal.
But step by step Edward managed to get up to the animal without it backing away more than a few times. And once he was within reach and had a hand resting on the animal's forehead at last he grabbed for the reins with his other hand. "Not your fault you know." He said, and patiently began to urge the horse forward with him, wanting to get her out of the commotion coming from Alice, her mother, and members of the staff.
"Don't you bring that thing over here." Roy admonished, backing away.
Edward stuck his tongue out at him, and offered the reins to Thomas. "Hold her for me. Roy, you can come with me, or help guard the horse."
"Guard the horse?!" Roy gaped at him.
Edward laughed, and turned his attention to Thomas who had taken the reins. "Don't let anyone take her, especially Alice. Anyone who wants the horse back can ask me for it. I don't care who asks, you work for me. Even if the bloody queen herself shows up and asks you for it, you send her to ask me."
Thomas's eyes glittered in amusement, but he was serious as he nodded. "Yes, sir." And he patted the calming mare's neck gently.
Roy gave the mare a wide berth much to Edward's undying amusement, and fell in step with the blond to go over to where the car of Fane Banciu was being ignored. "Do you have that gun on you?"
"Yes, why?" Edward asked, burying his feelings towards Roy asking about it. There were just similarities that… it made him feel in ways he didn't want to. It was getting easier, but when certain things were brought up, things like that? He realized he wasn't fully healed yet.
"Can I just shoot the bastard and be done with it? He is one of your enemies." Roy asked, sounding much like a young child asking for a candy bar.
"Yes. But he's an enemy that won't actually ever try to kill me." Edward said as he came up to the car which was still running while on its side. "He's useful still to me. So for now, I would rather you not shoot him. Once his use has run out though, you can have at him."
"Gladly." Roy muttered, and watched as Edward grabbed onto the side fender of the car and hoisted himself up in one smooth movement so he landed on his knees on the back door. "Naturally he flipped it onto that side." He muttered.
"Need me to hold your legs?" Roy asked calmly. Like Edward, he was hardly worried about the current situation. They'd both been through nothing less than alchemic war. This was nothing.
Edward opened the passenger side door and grinned over at him. "Just make sure I don't fall in. No promises not to leave his demise to you in that case."
"Sure, put the pressure on." Roy joked, and reached up to take a hold of the flesh leg. He knew it would pull too much if he grabbed the automail one.
"You can handle it, Flame. I know you." Edward flashed him a last smile, and lowered himself headfirst into the car.
Roy rolled his eyes, and heard Edward talking inside the car, but it was muffled.
"Why are you here?" Fane grumbled blearily as he tried to focus himself. He felt as if he'd just been through a storm at sea.
"Because I'm just a bloody angel. And you're blocking the side of the road. Shame you have official plates or I'd have your car towed and you fined." Edward smirked down at the man while holding out a hand.
Fane did his best to glower, but he wasn't sure how well his facial muscles were working right now. "I hate you." He said, and fumbled with the seatbelt. "What the hell happened?"
"Well," Edward guessed, "I figure you were coming to yell at Alice, and she was off on some crazy female errand on her horse. You swerved to avoid her."
"I did no such thing, should have hit the stupid tramp." Fane managed with the belt, and turned off the car at last.
Edward smirked faintly. "I would have been angry with you for hitting the horse. Now take my hand already so I can pull you out. Having all the blood rush to my head like this isn't exactly comfortable you know."
"Is she out there?" Fane growled as he took hold of Edward's hand.
"Yes."
"Lift me out!" Fane demanded suddenly, his disorientation suddenly gone. "Let me at her!"
Edward tried not to laugh, but with only a bit of effort he lifted the man out as easily as if he weighed nothing at all. Fane was hardly the heaviest thing he'd ever lifted straight up at such a strange angle. He felt Roy's hands on him helping him down, and once Fane was out, Edward let him go and let Roy guide him back down to the ground.
Fane himself landed in the snow with an "oomph!"
"You okay?" Roy asked Edward as he took his hands off the blond, though not without regret.
"Of course, thanks. Better than guarding the horse?" Edward grinned at him cheekily as he brushed his mussed hair back out of his face.
"Anything is better than guarding a horse."
And then suddenly Fane was back on his feet, "you whore! You think you can get back at me like this?!" He shouted, interrupting the bickering going on between Alice who had been acting like a snarly woman with the vapors, and her mother.
Suddenly he was half-falling, half-running through the snow to get to her.
Edward hummed in interest. "This should be good."
Roy too was eyeing the impending scene in amusement. "Any chance of popcorn?"
"I'm not an alchemist anymore." Edward remarked regretfully. But he turned to several of the staff members just standing around. "You there, get this car right-side up." And when they didn't move, he snapped and pointed at the vehicle. "Now!"
Even Roy jumped at the barked order. "Sheesh. Little Fullmetal has a voice on him."
"Have to make up for being little." Edward punched Roy in the arm and walked away so the startled men who'd jumped into action could turn the car back over.
Roy followed him, though their eyes were still riveted on the scene unfolding.
"How are you still alive?! And walking?!" Alice shrieked as she saw who was running towards her, and she scrambled to her feet swatting away anyone who tried to help.
"Who do you think you are? Publishing something like that and then racing out on a horse like that! You stupid little girl!" Fane shouted back, and flailed against the staff members of the estate who had rushed to restrain him. "Let me go!"
Alice sneered at him elegantly. "Me?! You think it was me?! It was you! And that lizard bit you last night! You followed me because you were jealous I didn't need you solely anymore. And you should be dead or in the hospital now because of it!"
At that, both Edward and Roy stopped and grew suspicious. And suddenly Edward turned to look around. "Where the hell is Marks?"
"I dunno." Roy muttered. "Do you think he made it back before Fane took off?"
"Doesn't appear that he did." Edward turned back to keep watching, not having spotted the man anywhere. And he knew that if Marks were out there, he'd have seen a sign of it.
Fane was still straining against the people holding him back. "No I did not hit my head!" He snarled at them, and turned his yelling back to Alice. "I followed you nowhere last night! I have more interesting things to do than follow your sorry ass."
"Get out of my sight!" She seethed, and suddenly seemed to remember what she'd been going to do before Fane had caused her horse to spook and toss her off. "Roy, where's Roy? I must have Roy! It'll all be okay if I have him… mommy and daddy won't send me away."
Edward immediately felt his blood turn cold. "She is trying to have me killed, and she was about to come onto my property to get you?"
Roy laid a hand on Edward's elbow firmly. "Easy. Not in front of all these people. Her parents seem to be having their own punishment in mind for what you did."
"Give him up! Only a fool would want you and anyone Elric over there thinks of as a friend is no fool!" Fane snarled. "Your obsession is ruining everyone you've involved!"
Alice gaped at him, "you're the one who came to me!"
"But you sought help elsewhere. So extreme in fact that you were willing to have Elric killed to get him out of the way because you think he's the only thing stopping Roy from wanting you. Here's another newsflash for you, the rumors of you being bad in bed are not the only things that would scare him off." Fane jerked away again from the people restraining him and pointed at Roy, who glared. "He gets to see you acting like this and you think he'd still want you?"
"Careful, Fane," Roy growled loud enough to be heard. "You're not exactly far down on the list of people I despise either."
But Alice seemed to forget all of that as she heard Roy's voice, and suddenly she'd wrenched away from her mother to dash towards him, practically falling through the snow with each stride. "Roy don't listen to him!"
Roy stepped back, and not trusting Edward to stop himself from snapping her neck, he grabbed the woman's wrists to swing her around and held her back forcibly away from him as far as he could. "You hired someone to kill Edward?"
"I only want to be with you, I'd do anything!" Alice practically sobbed. "Don't you see how much I love you?"
"No." Roy told her firmly with a cold tone he'd not used in a very long time. A long time indeed… "You do not love me, you have never loved me. You were infatuated with my dear half brother. Who is now dead. Some love you claim. And just so we're clear, trying to kill my best friend is not the way to get into my bed."
Alice spluttered up at him through tears. "You don't mean it!"
"I'm afraid he does." Edward interjected coldly. "How good a hold do you have on her, Roy?"
"She's not breaking free." Roy promised.
With a nod, Edward turned to Fane and the people still restraining him. "Let him go." And this time, his order was obeyed immediately. Even if he was not their employer. "I believe you've managed to prove your innocence to me. Congratulations. Now if I were you I'd scurry on back to the embassy and lay low."
Fane breathed a sigh of relief, and nodded. "I'll see you around I'm sure… thank you." And with what could be termed a grateful nod to Edward, he made his way back to his car, got in, and drove away. And those still gathered in the road watched him vanish.
"What are you doing? Let my daughter go. And the horse." Janet said as she walked over. "Alice has a plane to catch."
"Janet…" George warned, finally making his appearance. "Alice just confessed to hiring someone to try and kill Mister Elric."
"So?" Janet whirled on him angrily. "A convent won't extradite her."
"A convent won't save her if she runs away there." Edward promised. "We have plenty of witnesses. And I doubt you'll find many people besides yourself willing to testify that she's an angel."
Alice looked between them all. "What's going on? What's happening?"
Thomas spoke up from where he stood with the mare still. "Someone will be calling the police. Either one of your employees, or myself."
Janet threw him an ugly look. "Careful. You may work for Mister Elric, but you're just as common as he is."
George took that moment to grab his wife and shove her towards some of the groundskeepers. "Take my wife upstairs before she makes a further fool of herself. She's had a trying morning and has taken leave of her senses."
Roy watched in amusement as the woman was led away, and didn't release his grip as Alice started struggling again. "I can see the family resemblance. A bit unstable in the mind." He remarked, unmindful that said woman's husband and the father of the other woman was within earshot.
"I think I'll go make sure the police are called, sir." Thomas said dryly, and led the mare over. "Is the front door open?"
"Yes." Edward said, and took the offered reins. As he looked back it became apparent that the rest of Lord Laning's staff was heading back to their own work, leaving the four of them alone out there save for the horse and the last flash of Thomas vanishing beyond the gates of Edward's own home.
"What are you going to have done?" George finally asked with a weary sigh, ignoring his daughter's snarls for him to help her. "I know you will not be happy with just a trial we know she'll be acquitted of. That fall… unless you can get proof."
"I understand." Edward replied calmly. "But she's not staying in England. She'll be arrested, and sent to the convent as you wish."
"Edward-"
"Is it the one I jokingly recommended to you once before?" Edward cut across Roy.
George nodded.
"Then I'll be sure to telephone one of the Sisters there. She'll be more than happy to make Alice's stay a lot more unpleasant than rotting in a cell would be." And as if sensing Roy's curiosity as to why he knew someone at a convent, he added for purely the man's benefit. "She's another."
"Ah." That did explain it all, and suddenly he smiled. "Well Alice, it's been fun. But quite honestly, you're too much trouble."
They all ignored the fresh stream of curses coming from the woman.
George nodded once again, this time in acceptance. "Very well. This will not make Janet happy… but I'm not too happy with her either right now. I apologize for what she said to Mister Brown."
Edward offered a thin smile. "Better this way, than had her actions actually brought about my death."
Over the next half an hour Thomas returned, and was apologized to personally. The police did arrive shortly, where Alice, still being ignored for her words, was shoved into the back of one of the cars as statements were taken down. The press, having listened in to the police radio broadcasts, were already making appearances and clicking away for photographs and rolling video cameras.
As the police finally drove away, the press hot on their tail for more pictures; Edward, Roy, Thomas, and George were left standing in the middle of the once snowy road. Now the snow had been worn away by many shoes.
George was the first to speak, making a motion to the horse Edward held, and Roy was standing as far away from as he could get. "I should get back to start my own damage control. May I take the horse? Is she okay?"
Edward looked over at the mare, who stood with eyes half-lidded. "She'll be fine. I didn't want anyone taking her without strict instructions to get a blanket on the poor thing." And Edward passed over the reins. "She'll go into shock otherwise."
"I'll see that it's done." George assured him, and gave Edward a nod, as well as Thomas, before turning to Roy. "I owe you an apology for my daughter's behavior towards you… and for my own doubts about your character. I should be of the habit of knowing by now that Mister Elric only chooses exceptional people to surround himself with."
Roy was more than a little taken aback by the unexpected apology, but he smiled. "He is an exceptional man himself. Thank you."
George spared them one last smile and nod, before he turned to lead the horse away with him back to his now dysfunctional home.
"Well," Thomas breathed out and stuck his hands on his hips. "Never a dull moment with you, is it, sir."
"Never, it would defeat the purpose of me being so interesting." Edward replied blandly, but smiled.
"Don't let it go to your head." Roy admonished, and ruffled the blond's hair.
Edward swatted him away, fixing him with a glower which Roy returned with a smug smile. He turned back to Thomas though. "So what are you here for again?"
Thomas waved a hand through the air. "To talk about that newspaper article. But I think all my questions were answered just now."
Roy laughed at that, and began walking back to the gates of the chateau. "I think we need some brandy and a toast to never having a dull moment."
"Raiding my liquor cabinet again, are we?" Edward chastised, but followed after the man with a grin.
Thomas followed them all the way back to his car, smiling, before he opened the door. "I can't, have to drive to work and get some stuff done. But you two drink mine for me."
"You don't even have to ask." Roy called back to him with a grin, and before Edward could get out more than a goodbye, he'd yanked the blond inside the house. "Now then…" Roy suddenly frowned, thinking very hard on something. "Where the hell is your liquor cabinet anyway? All I've found is the wine you point me to and those empty bottles from your binge drinking night."
Edward, who was laughing as he pulled off his coat and boots, still not believing Roy had yanked him inside like that, shot the man a grin. "Follow me." He said, locked the front door again, and grabbed Roy by the hand to drag him towards the kitchen while sporting a mischievous grin.