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"Its been one year. One year to this day that I have not allowed myself to partake in my addiction. One year since I was given the opportunity to start over. That was truly the beginning, the first day of my life, the first time that I felt that I could look at myself in the mirror and not feel utter disappointment about who I had become. I knew this would not be easy, I still struggle some days, those days where it would just seem easier to give in, but those days I cherish more than anything. I cherish them because without those days, I would not know what its like to struggle, to feel the pain, to crave, to feel temptation. I cherish those days because they remind me how weak I was, but at the same time remind me of how strong I had become. I cherish each day I can feel my need creeping back in, and then getting passed it, of course, one day at a time. I will never be able to truly convey my gratitude to those who have been by my side through all of this".
"My counselor Jeffery, what can I say, you always know the right things to say no matter what the situation, and you always express them in a way that I know that it is coming straight from your heart, not just out of some book you read somewhere. I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Hopefully you will see how thankful I am by the fact that I will continue to come to the meetings and stay on the right path" Annabelle stated as she looked in Jeffery's direction with a grateful smile.
She was about to continue when she noticed the door open toward the back of the room. She took a moment to stare at the figure who was dressed in formal business attire and when they moved a little closer to find a seat in the back row, she realized who it was. A wide smile washed over her face when her mother took off her sunglasses and settled into her chair trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Annabelle made eye contact with the Senator, smiled, but immediately had to look away before she was about to lose all of her control and become a blubbering mess at the podium.
Annabelle collected herself by taking a deep breath and continued by saying, "Collins, I could have never, I repeat, never been able to get through these last few years, and more specifically this last year alive without your unconditional love and friendship. You have shown me what true friendship really is and I hope that someday I can do the same for you. I really would not be here today without your support. You are my best friend, my rock, my conscience. You know when I need a swift kick in the ass and you know when I need a friendly hug to let me know that everything is going to be okay. I am so grateful to you, Collins, so very grateful, more than you will ever know"!
A few tears were now visible around the room; Annabelle had just wiped her own away when she noticed Collins tears mixed in with a beaming smile only a proud best friend could give.
Annabelle took one more deep breath and finished her speech by saying, "Mom, I know that I have put you through three lifetime's worth of heartache. I know I could never say or do enough to make up for all of my selfish acts over the years. Please just know that I am grateful that you were a big part of getting me the help I needed. As much as I acted like I didn't care about you, and even went out of my way to prove it, I have come to realize that everything you do and say comes from that place that nothing can destroy, a mother's love for her daughter. I cannot imagine how I made you feel, all the nights you worried about my whereabouts and what I was doing. All the times I said I hated you, all the while you were still there, no matter how difficult I made things, finding that place deep in your heart, and still loving me. I now know where I get my tenacious attitude from, but without that, I surely would not be standing here today, celebrating my sobriety. I am forever grateful that you found it in your heart to let me be your daughter again, I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life, without you here, to guide me, to keep me grounded. Lord knows I need it. Mom, I love you, always".
Annabelle ended her speech with a quick "thank you" as she wiped a stray tear realizing her mother was doing the same and stepped down from the podium.
Everyone in the room was standing and clapping for the girl who just one year prior was fighting for her life. Fighting to regain some semblance of normalcy over the endless days and nights she spent in an alcoholic haze. It was her remedy for everything. Her remedy if she was sad, depressed, angry, annoyed or even happy. She allowed life to run her over and never really took the time to try and search for the reasons she chose the devil in the bottle, at the time, it was just easier than dealing with reality. She was now looking toward the future, not just trying to get through the day. She finally had hope that her life would amount to something more than parties every other night, more than the bottom of another bottle, more than the nameless faces she encountered waking up the next day not remembering what happened the night before. She finally found the will to fight for her life, her dreams, and love. She knew that things would still be a struggle from time to time, but she would just keep pushing, until she reached her goals, her destiny, all with the love of her life next to her. When that day would come, she didn't know, but deep down, she knew, it would, eventually come.
Annabelle returned to a mostly empty campus. Her one year of sobriety date fell with excellent timing during spring break. She went home for a couple of days to visit with her mother as well as Collins and her family and celebrate her accomplishment. She wanted to have these last couple of days break from homework and tests to just be. To be able to wake up in the morning and go for a walk in peace and quiet stop by the myriad of places to eat or drink without having to fight large crowds just to get anything.
She was sitting in Merkle's sipping her caramel frappaccino, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight coming through the window while she was sitting at a table that faced the sidewalk so she could people watch while she scribbled words down here and there in her composition book. She looked at her phone and decided to open her text messages. She found the one she was looking for and re read,
Congratulations! You accomplished something not everyone in your situation can say they have. Be safe and enjoy your trip home! Wish I could be there! S
As soon as Annabelle shut her phone, a wide smile formed on her face. She too wished Simone could have been there, but she knew after talking with Simone a couple of days before spring break, that she would be in San Diego visiting her aunt and her cousins and taking some time for herself to relax and catch up on a few novels while lounging on the beach. However, with the text she received on that special milestone in Annabelle's life, she knew that Simone was thinking about her, even while on vacation with family. Annabelle was still in a daydream when a familiar voice came upon her.
"Hey, you got room for one more"? Jason said as he took the seat across from Annabelle not waiting for an answer.
"Oh, alright, I will let you sit with me" Annabelle replied while rolling her eyes.
"I know you love me, so stop acting like its such a hardship to be seen with me" Jason stated as he finished stirring the creamer into his coffee.
Annabelle tried to hide the grin that was about to appear at Jason's comment. She did love Jason like a big brother. Yes, they were fast friends, but their relationship had grown quickly into brother and sister. They would constantly tease each other and see who could one-up the other, especially in front of other people. However, they did share a deep love of music and a mutual respect for each others abilities. Jason had never shared his feelings about one thing though.
Ever since he met Annabelle, he always had the feeling that she could really make a living in the music business. Besides being extremely talented both musically and lyrically, she had a knack for taking something that already sounded great and made it better. She had impeccable taste as to what would sound good live and what would be appropriate to play at their shows.
It was a natural ability, one that could not be taught, no matter how many years of lessons or classes one took. He knew she had a passion for music, but also knew about her goal of finishing her degree, keeping on track with her sobriety, and one other not so secret thing about Annabelle, her growing attraction to his sister.
Well that's what he thought it was at first, just a typical crush, but he knew after seeing them around each other the last few months, that it was much deeper, for both of them. He saw it in Simone's eyes when she would talk about Annabelle. He saw it in Annabelle's eyes whenever Simone wasn't around and her name would come up.
He thought he would keep his feelings to himself a bit longer, there was no rush he thought, he just wanted her see her use her abilities to their fullest potential.
"Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice" Jason said after taking a sip of his just right, lukewarm coffee.
"You know I couldn't resist going a whole week without seeing you" Annabelle teased.
"Yeah, well, that wouldn't have bothered me, however, I do have something I wanted to talk to you about" Jason replied with a slight smirk.
"Okay, shoot" Annabelle said curiously.
"The manager, John, from Café Sol, was wondering if you would consider doing a 'solo' show, once month. And if that goes well, maybe more" Jason replied with a slightly hesitant voice knowing that Annabelle already had a lot on her plate.
"Wow, really? That is flattering, but what about you guys"? Annabelle stated with a look of amazement.
"Oh, we will still do our regular shows twice a month, but he thinks that you could help get more people through the door during the week" Jason responded.
"As cool as that sounds, I like being a part of the band, not sure how I would do by myself. Also, I do have school to think about" Annabelle stated matter of factly.
"Okay, well, I know it's a lot to consider, but I think you would do just fine with just you and your guitar. Besides, I am sure you could let him know your feelings about school and maybe just play during the summer, that is if you are staying around" Jason replied after taking the last sip of his coffee and then reaching over and stealing Annabelle's cup that still had remnants of whip cream in it.
"Okay, I will think about it. I am not one-hundred percent sure if I am staying for the summer or not. Can I just talk to him at our next show"? Annabelle said letting out a slight sigh, still not really sure she would be ready for something like this.
"Of course, there is no rush, and if you need to talk it over some more, just let me know okay" Jason replied in a caring tone knowing this really wasn't an easy or simple decision for Annabelle.
"Thanks, I am sure I will be taking you up on that" Annabelle said a little relieved.
"What are you doing for the rest of the day"? Jason asked changing topics.
"Nothing really, was just going to enjoy the day, maybe walk around downtown, look at the shops, why"? Annabelle replied.
"Well if you are bored later, I just got the latest version of 'Rock Band' and I figured we could break it in, well, while I kick your ass in expert level" Jason said with a loud chuckle.
"Oh, really, well, if I remember correctly, I was the one with the highest percentage, especially during the solos" Annabelle said while leaning back and folding her arms.
"I picked easy songs that round, plus, I figured I would let you win so you could show off for Simone" Jason replied while leaning in and quietly stating the last part of his sentence.
"Oh shut up Jason, you kn-" Annabelle was cut off by Jason saying, "You know I am right, and by the blush on your face, nothing further needs to be said".
Annabelle just looked down at the napkin in her hand, and then looked back up at Jason with a slight smile.
"Okay, but only if you feed me too" Annabelle stated with a cheesy grin.
"Well, I was planning on eating anyway, so I guess I will give you some of mine" Jason said as he stood up to throw out each of their empty cups.
"Gee thanks, can't wait to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" Annabelle replied as she pushed in her chair.
Jason wrapped one arm around Annabelle's shoulder and pulled her in as close as possible and said, "If you're nice, maybe I will have a surprise for you".
"Oh goodie, you mean I get a toy with my meal"? Annabelle responded while impersonating a little child by clapping excitedly.
"Better than that, you'll see" Jason said knowing that it wouldn't be just the two of them at the house tonight.
"Alright, I will be waiting on pins and needles. What time would you like me to come over"? Annabelle said as she stopped next to the driver's side door of her car.
"Oh, say, six o'clock"? Jason replied with a slight grin.
"Okay, smiley, I will see you at six, with bells on" Annabelle said as she grabbed Jason around the neck for their ritual bear hug.
"See you then, drive safe, bye"! Jason replied as he opened and shut Annabelle's door for her.
"Bye Jas" Annabelle said as she gave him one last smile and stuck her hand out the window to wave as she pulled away.
"Okay, bring on the next song, that one was just way too easy, well for me anyway" Annabelle said while said while adjusting the strap on the wireless guitar.
"Hey, I was just making sure that you had a few warm up songs before I slammed you with the hard stuff" Jason replied while tapping the drum pad to advance the screen to the next level of songs.
Jason picked the fastest song he could find, knowing Annabelle would not be able to keep up, well he wouldn't be able to either. Pretty soon a slew of speed metal guitars were clamoring through the speakers and Annabelle tried to focus on the notes moving quickly over the frets and after the first minute she had 'blown' herself up and was just now standing there with her hands over her ears trying to drown out the worst music she has ever heard while Jason was on his way to 'blowing' up himself with more missed notes than hit ones.
"Oh my god, that was horrid"! Annabelle said while chuckling at Jason's flustered features during his attempt to keep up with the song.
"Yeah, you're right, don't think we will be adding that to our set list anytime soon, unless you think we need to change the kind of music we play" Jason said while setting his drum sticks down to get a sip of water.
"Um, no, we don't want to scare all of our fans away" Annabelle replied while she ran her hands through her hair after noticing a few strands were doing their own thing after her wild movements just a few moments before.
"Yeah, I don't think I would be coming to anymore of your shows if you played that kind of music" A voice said from behind the two band members.
"Hey, how was your flight"? Jason said to the figure standing on the bottom half of the stairs.
"Great, got on and got off" Simone said with a smile and was soon finishing her descent down the stairs.
"Good, I am glad you made it home safely. Do you need help with your bags"? Jason said as he moved toward Simone to give her a quick hug.
"I only have a couple, I will get it" Simone said while gripping Jason's arm lightly.
"No, I will take care of it, just relax" Jason said as he passed Simone and headed up the stairs into the kitchen.
Simone continued her movements further into the room, grinning at the sight, as she noticed Annabelle fidgeting with the guitar, and then moving toward the couch to lean it against it.
Annabelle finally forced herself to look up and noticed Simone was only a couple of feet away. She wanted so badly to just run into her arms, but of course she forced herself to do the opposite and just stood there motionless.
"Hey. How was San Diego" Annabelle asked the blonde-haired beauty in front of her, still thinking she must be dreaming, not believing she was actually talking to her, but realized that at the rate her heart was beating, this had to be real.
"Great, I had a very relaxing time. The weather was perfect and of course I got to see my family, so, just, a great trip" Simone said while nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Good, I know you needed it" Annabelle stated as she reached out and squeezed Simone's arm and continued by saying, "Thanks again for the message, I really appreciate you taking the time to send it, and it was perfect timing, I got it right after my speech".
"You're welcome. I wish I could have been there to hear it, I am sure you had everyone's attention the whole time" Simone said with a slight smile that grew bigger now that she was looking into Annabelle's eyes.
"Yeah, there wasn't a dry eye in the house" Annabelle replied with a shrug and a little smirk.
"Well you do have a way with words" Simone stated matter of factly.
"Yes, so I have been told" Annabelle said confidently and continued by saying, "Oh hey, I am sorry if I am keeping you, I assume you wanted to get unpacked and relax a little".
"I was planning on it, but then I heard this horrible noise down here so I had to see what it could possibly be. As horrible as it was, you guys looked like you were having fun" Simone stated with a chuckle.
"Yeah, we were having fun, but I am having more fun now" Annabelle said as she leaned in a little bit closer to Simone's personal space.
Simone just smiled and said "I should head up and start unpacking, plus I am starving"!
"Oh, okay, um, I guess I wi-" Annabelle was cut off by Simone saying "Come on, I want to hear all about your trip home, I just need to get something in my stomach.
As she reached out and grabbed Annabelle's hand and placed her other hand over it, quickly getting lost in the feel of Annabelle's soft skin, turned and led Annabelle back up to the kitchen, never letting go. Right before they reached the top step, Annabelle hadn't realized her feet had a mind of their own, stopping their progress, and saying, "I missed you" in a quiet voice, not really knowing if she heard it.
Simone turned back around to face Annabelle on the step below hers and said, "I missed you too" as she moved onto the same step that Annabelle was occupying, smiled slightly and pulled Annabelle into a tender embrace, gently caressing her soft hair, then pulling back and looking directly into those azure eyes that always told her what Annabelle was thinking, lightly rubbed her cheek with her thumb and witnessed Annabelle's eyes flutter shut. They were soon opening quickly at the sound of Jason yelling "Who wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich"?
So close, but yet...... I know, I know, enough already right.... :)
Peace and love to all!!!!
TBC......