chapter thirty-seven. nancy drew. even if it's hard.

The wall pretty much explodes, unleashing water at an alarming rate flooding everything and almost throwing me against the wall. COLD COLD COLD wet instantly up to my knees and quickly rising.

"What did you just do?!" I almost scream, whipping around to face Joe, who has backed away from the wall.

"I didn't do anything!"

I grab my backpack and search around for Joe's. "Joe, where is your stuff?"

"I have it right here—now come on," Joe takes my arm and pulls me closer to the mine shaft.

This level is filling up fast—the water is already three feet deep, and it is so freezing—I'm actually starting to lose feeling in my toes.

"Are you okay?"

I manage to nod a little. Trying not to shiver so violently even though my blood feels like it's turning to ice.

"God, Joe—it's so cold."

"I know—just hold on, okay? It won't be long." he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight which kind of wards off a little bit of the cold for a few seconds. I breathe deep and try to calm my mind. "Everything's going to be fine—we're going to make it."

I pull away just an inch or so, to look up into his eyes. "Do really believe that?"

He reads my face for a moment before replying—sounding so soft and unsure, I can barely hear his voice over the rushing of the water. "I don't know,"

"Well, start believing it. Because we are going to make it." I suck in a breath as the cold starts suffocating my body in a freezing kind of coma, locking up my muscles which do not feel like swimming right now.

The water is probably six feet, now. My feet have left the ground—kicking numbly, still no feeling.

Seven feet. I kick my feet harder, trying to get some blood and some feeling to come back into my arms and legs, which have gone totally numb at this point.

"Can you see how far up the next level is?" I shout to Joe over the noise.

"Like seven feet, probably!" he struggles to see up through the mine shaft in the dull pre-dawn light. "You okay?"

I nod quickly. "Yeah, but I can't feel anything,"

"Just hold on, okay? There might be some footholds coming up on your side—like four feet up,"

I manage to give a nod of acknowledgement, but nothing else. Everything inside feels too numb and cold to move or breathe—never mind talk. I'd be surprised if my body temperature hasn't already dropped a degree or two.

Nine feet now. At the very most. The ceiling of the lowest level is almost completely sealed up with water, pushing us up into the empty mine shaft—which fills up twice as fast.

Ten feet. Eleven.

I pull myself around to face the wall, searching its craggy, damp surface for any decent foothold I can get my hands on. "Where were those footholds you saw, Joe?"

"Look up—to your left!" he tells me, "Can you grab onto something like that?"

"I don't know.." I squint up at the bungled surface of the wall, not really thinking much of what I'm seeing here. "I can try, though."

Thirteen feet of water, now—and rising just as fast, if not faster. Not like that's even possible. Everything is all dark and cold and wet, black swelling water. Numb hands and feet.

I can barely feel my cramped fingers lock around the foothold in the wall—it's scratchy and slippery. I try to pull myself up but fail. One more foot of water is all I need to be able to reach up and get my hands over the edge of the next floor—it's that close. So I tread water and wait a few more seconds, gauging my next move.

Now there's about a three foot gap between the water level and the next floor. I pop up and latch my hands over the rough edge—hanging on tight and pulling myself up out of the water, getting my elbows up onto the edge.

Finally, I can breathe as I start feeling around frantically for a place to get my feet hooked onto the wall without slipping. Then I feel a strong hand close around my right ankle and guide it over to a foothold.

"Thanks Joe!" I thrust my toes inside and push up, managing to execute a messy, desperate climb up over the edge, collapsing on the ground above, totally gasping for air.

Oh my gosh, is this for real? Are we actually going to make it?!

"Joe—grab onto my hand!" I crawl to my sopping knees, reaching down over the edge to him.

"Are you kidding me?" Joe shakes his head. "Get out of here—you can't pull me up,"

"DO AS I SAY!"

The last thing I feel is his cold, shaky hand lock into mine—then it all ends. Because that's when I hear something—almost like an earthquake, but not. It comes sounding barely audible at first, then breaks with a deafening crash. Not the kind of crash like two forces colliding, but more like a suctioning, screaming explosion. Like the sound a star would make when it supernovas. And that's when the earth caves out underneath the mine shaft, sucking out all the water with it. For a few seconds I have no idea what's going on, but then the water starts receding—rapidly. Emptying down like a whirlpool into the dark earth below us—and trying to pull Joe down with it.

I scream, feeling myself being pulled closer to the edge. Joe lets go of my hand—but I don't let go of his. Instead, I hold on tighter.

"Nancy, let go!" he shouts up to me, managing to cling to the wall, finding some kind of a lousy foothold—most of his weight still in my hand. Two feet down, at my full arm's length.

"What is going on, Joe?" I scream back, barely able to get my voice over the deafening rush of the water being violently sucked down out of the mine.

"I don't know—it has to be some kind of a sinkhole—because of the mine!" his cold hand starts to slip out of mine. "Nance, you have to let go!"

"Are you kidding me? I can't!" Starting to inch further towards the edge. Digging my toes into the ground. "You'll fall!"

"It doesn't matter, Nancy!" he looks up to me, finally—blue eyes desperate. I pull my gaze off his to the receding black pool of water below—way below. I mean down to like, five or six feet above the floor—which has caved in, swallowing up everything like a hungry black hole.

"It does matter! You're insane!" I scream back, slipping another few inches. "That's like a fifteen foot drop already!"

"You have to let go, Nance—"

"No, I'm not going to!"

"You have to!" his voice comes out sounding more severe than ever. Eyes filled with something more than desperation now—something that I can't read. "I can hold onto the wall on my own. If you don't let go, you'll fall too!"

"I don't care! You can't hold on—"

"Well you can't pull me up!"

"I know," my voice comes out in a broken sob—eyes starting to burn a little. "I know I can't, but I don't want you to fall."

"I'm not going to fall—I'll be fine!" he looks up into my eyes. "Can't you just trust me?"

I pull in a shaky breath, swallowing the ache in my chest. "…Yes. I can. I will." And I let go. Just like that.

He slips a little, but manages to hold on—not very well. "Thank you," he breathes, letting his forehead rest against the craggy wall for a moment while he catches his breath. "Now get out of here."

"What?" I feel my eyes widen and my heart try to stop beating for a second.

"You have to go, Nancy—go get help,"

"Get help where? There's nothing for miles."

"I don't care! Just get out of here,"

I shake my head quickly, feeling the tears pressing hard at the back of my eyes. "No! I can't leave you.. you'll fall—and—and I won't be able to get help fast enough."

"Don't worry about me, okay? You can't think about me. You can't." he fixes his hold on the wall again, looking up into my eyes. Blue. "Just go—run. Get out of here."

"Who do you think I am, Joe?" the tears start breaking out, now—streaking down my face. I fall to the edge, reaching down to close my hand around his again. "I won't go."

"You have to," he pulls his fingers through my own trembling ones. "Please Nancy—if you care about me—would you do something for me? Even if it's hard?"

I nod slowly, unable to see past my tears at this point. "I'd do anything for you, Joe—"

"I'm asking you to leave, Nance—please. For me. Just get out of here—and don't look back. Just run. And don't stop running until you get help."

"But what if it's too late—"

"Then it's too late," he cuts me off. "Listen to me. You can't stay here and risk getting killed, too. You can't because—Nancy, you mean everything to me." I barely feel him press a kiss into the back of my hand, before letting go of it entirely. "Now go. Go get help—run!"

And I do. I grab my soaking wet backpack from the ground and I tear around and start running. Tripping through the darkness of the tunnels—leaving that echoing rushing growl of water back there. Leaving Joe back there.

I don't even fumble around through my backpack for a flashlight. Instead I just stumble my way through the damp, blackened tunnels, not sure of what direction I'm going and if it's even the right way. But finally I see a glimpse of a crack of daylight—foggy bluish pre-dawn light leaking in from the entrance of the mine.

I push some of the tears out of my face with my dirty, scratched hands, climbing up the boulders to get to the narrow escape—finally slipping out and into the milky blue wash of day. Tripping down the side of the rocks and hitting the dusty ground, breaking into a full sprint—which requires every ounce of strength I have left.

The world around me is dull and shaky and hard to distinguish—the cold biting at me. Freezing wet. But I run anyway, in my sopping, beaten shoes. I run hard. Trying to focus on the air coming in and out of my lungs so I don't suffocate myself on my own tears and broken sobs. So I don't focus on my heart which is aching and slowly breaking itself to death.

Train tracks. I stop for only two seconds, throwing a panicked, delirious look both ways. Having no idea where to run. I can't remember which direction the train went to get back to Copper Gorge—so I randomly choose the left and start running. Harder and faster than I knew my legs could endure. Heartbeat punching the back of my head.

How could I leave Joe back there like that? How could I possibly ever leave him? How could I escape, then leave him there to fall. To die.

He's done everything for me. Everything. Things I could never have even dreamed about someone enduring for my sake. He was beaten and blackmailed for me. He suffered through being pushed and shoved and cornered and kicked and threatened by Tino Balducci, for my sake. So I wouldn't get hurt. So I wouldn't die.

How could I leave him when he's done so much for me? When he tried to stop me from going to this mine in the first place—because he knew the trap we were walking into, but I didn't trust him. And he came with me anyway. When he tried so hard to keep me from any danger. When he tried to get into that elevator before me, because he knew someone was going to get killed and he didn't want it to be me. When we were almost killed, how he picked me up and shielded me from the fall—taking the worst of it himself. When we were trapped, how he kept me warm and gave me his coat. How he talked to me. How he kept me sane—kept me believing. How he watched the stars and danced in the moonlight with me. How he made sure I escaped the flooding mine first. How he told me to let go of him and forget about him and let him fall. How he kissed my hand and told me that I meant everything to him.

I stop running. So suddenly that it actually hurts—it sends my adrenaline-pumped body reeling, aching and hardly knowing how to breathe. And I just stand there for a few seconds in the cold blue morning, in the middle of the tracks.

I can't leave him. And I won't.

Then I turn around. And run the other way. I'm serious. At a full, insane sprint, I push myself to bleed out that last strain of energy and through the choked, gasping sobs and the tears and my aching, pounding heart, I finally make it back to the mine entrance. Stumbling through the boulders, up the face of the canyon like a girl possessed. Falling down through the entrance and being swallowed up by the darkness. I run hard and fast, tripping over things like rocks and dips in the tunnel floors—almost falling on my face a couple times—but not caring.

Finally, I see a light. That dull, bluish haze pushing down through the top of the mine shaft, where I was climbing up just moments ago. And I start to hear the sound of water—much quieter, now. My tears clear enough to see the end of the tunnel well enough—I run to it.

"Joe! Joe I'm back!" And I fall down to my knees at the edge. And look down.

And I feel something inside me curl up and die.

Because he's gone.

FlightFeathers: Maybe — just maybe — Lori will save the day! ;) EEEP sorry for the delay with this chapter! I'm going to try to post more often. There isn't much left of this story. Thank you so much for reading! 3