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Chapter 37

This SoHo rapist case was draining the squad. Cragen went around the bullpen and watched as his detectives argued about the serial and his personality.

"People let's take a break, Valens, go home see your wife and daughter. Liv. Take the day off. Fin, show Rollins around New York, she's been here a year and half and she hasn't seen half of it."

Scotty frowned, "I still have to write some reports…"

Liv clapped him on the back, "go home Scotty, maybe you can catch Lilly at the bureau and take her home."

Scotty did that, he drove to FBI headquarters, and he was looking for parking when he saw the bike. "Could that be?" he looked at the man in the bike, he took his helmet off. That was Ray. Scotty's stomach churned.

Out came Lilly, his wife. She smiled at Ray and jumped into the bike. She didn't seem surprised at all to see her old boyfriend. Scotty frowned and followed the bike.

Scotty followed them to a building apartment in Hell's Kitchen. He felt like someone was twisting his insides. His knuckles whitened around the wheel. He was fighting a terrible urge to get out of the car and pummel Ray. How could Lilly do this to him? Maybe this was just a friendly visit; Ray was prone to dropping on Lilly unexpectedly. "And every time he did all her relationships went to the drain." A voice in his head chanted. Scotty remembered Joseph, Lilly had been going strong with him but Ray appeared and Lilly only had eyes for him. Scotty knew that Ray and his wife had a past, they gone through horrific childhoods together but Lilly would never. She would never be unfaithful.

He waited patiently; they'd been in the apartment for about thirty minutes when they came out. Ray hugged her; Lilly smiled beautifully at him and kissed his cheek. Scotty closed his eyes and tried to stave off the pain and anger that he was feeling. Lilly laughed at something and walked up to a train station.

He got a call from Liv. "We have a situation, town hall meeting at a SoHo restaurant."

"I'm on my way Liv." He said quickly. Ray went inside the apartment complex and Scotty went to SoHo.

He couldn't concentrate on anything once he got to the precinct. His mind kept going back to Lilly kissing Ray. "Hey Scotty we have an operation going on tonight. Rollins is going undercover. Are you up to it?" Olivia asked her partner.

"Huh" Scotty replied. He couldn't get the image of his wife kissing another man out of his head. Lilly kissing Ray was imprinted on his mind.

"Are you going to the slut walk or not?" Amanda asked from her desk.

Scotty frowned, "No. I'm going home tonight. I haven't seen Zara in two days." Liv and Amanda nodded. Due to the nature of their job detectives practically lived at the station. It was very understandable that Scotty would want to be home. This case was taking longer than expected.

By 8:00 PM Scotty was heading home. He was driving home and thinking how to approach this situation. He would be calm and ask her about her day. Lilly would tell him that Ray was back and that would be the end of it. There had to be an explanation, Lilly would come clean and this would be nothing. Hell, maybe they could have lunch with Ray for that matter.

He parked and went inside his apartment. Lilly came out of the bathroom with a wet Zara on her arms, "Hey, you're home early." She kissed him; she looked happy to see him.

"Yeah, I wanted to see my girls." He caressed her cheeks and grabbed Zara from her arms.

"Daddy is going to read you a story tonight." He said to the little girl.

Scotty kissed his little girl goodnight and went into the bedroom. Lilly was by the bed undressing. She looked beautiful; she turned around and saw him looking at her. She smiled.

"Are you hungry Scotty?" She undid her bra clasp.

"Yeah." He approached her and kissed her neck and shoulder.

"I meant for food. We can make something together." She caressed his hair and moaned when he undid her yoga pants.

Scotty looked into her blue eyes. She would never cheat. "No. I want you. It's been too long Cielo." He kissed her forcefully; she was his and no one else's.

Lilly responded equally, she undid his tie and ran her hands over his clothed torso.

"I've missed you Scotty." She muttered against his mouth. He cupped one of her breasts. He looked at her and rolled one of her nipples. She wasn't breastfeeding anymore but her breasts felt heavier, larger. He pushed her to their bed and rubbed against her. He was getting hard, just having her underneath him did things to his body.

Lilly flipped them; she kissed his neck and down to his chest. She unbuttoned his shirt slowly. He wanted her so much, he forgot about Ray and what he saw earlier that day. All that mattered was that Lilly was with him and she was kissing him. All that mattered was that she was here with him. She sat back, "What are you going to do detective Valens?" She ground her hips over his erection.

Scotty stilled her hips and sat up. "Get up Cielo." She did so. He came close to her; she ran her hand over the bulge on his pants. Lilly unbuckled him, and slowly teased him. Scotty let her touch him, he kissed her passionately, and she tasted sweet. He lowered her panties and rubbed her folds. She was so wet.

"I want you Scotty, not teasing please." She whispered into his ear. He nodded and nuzzled her neck. "Against the wall Scotty." She moaned when he pulled one of her legs to his hip. He kicked his pants and boxers away from his body. He pushed Lilly to the door. "Zara's asleep, I don't want her to interrupt us." He breathed hotly against her neck.

Lilly's eyes darkened, she was flushed, and the desire was clear in her eyes. Scotty lowered his head and mouthed her breasts.

"Fuck Scotty." She encouraged him with her moans and her hands on his head, neck and shoulders.

"Handsome, Scotty please no teasing." She panted when he sucked on one of her nipples. He loved her breasts, he was about to disregard her wishes and go down on her when she pulled him up for a kiss. She jumped on him

Lilly crossed her legs over his hips. Scotty had no other option but to crush her into the door and hold her there for support. Lilly kissed him with what could only be called hunger. His fingers traveled south, she was dripping wet.

"Is this for me Cielo?" He asked breathlessly.

"Yes." Her hands pushed him into her. She was trying to get the friction she needed and Scotty wasn't giving her yet.

"Scotty I need you." She sounded desperate and he couldn't do more teasing.

He looked into those gorgeous blue eyes and entered her in one swift movement.

She was so tight, when was the last time they were like this? He couldn't remember. He flattened her against the door and enjoyed the feeling of her surrounding him, squeezing him. She was so hot and wet around him.

Lilly tried to squirm. "Move Scotty, move please."

He thrust into her slowly; it was heaven. He loved it when Lil caressed his head and back. He rocked into her.

"I missed you so much." She whispered softly. "I love you Scotty." She repeated as he drove into her. Scotty buried his head on her neck.

Scotty grabbed her legs. He ran a hand over her tights. "Hold on Cielo."

He carried her back to the bed. He was on her immediately. She arched her back. Scotty panted over her and entered her over and over again. She felt so good. Lilly kissed and massaged his back. She was so sweet, "Cielo I love you too."

She contracted around him and let out a moan. Scotty came when she kissed him again and bit his lips. He let out a moan of his own and collapsed above her.

He tried to move but she whined, "I know I'm crushing you Cielo."

She tightened her hold on him. "I like it." Lilly kissed his neck and shoulder. Scotty rested on his elbows and kissed her noisily on the mouth. She laughed and puckered her lips again. He kissed her until the kisses became more intentional. Lilly straddled him. She kissed him passionately and lowered herself on him. He was hard in matters of seconds. She moved fast above him, she was a vision, her luminous blue eyes and her blond hair on that ponytail. The way she bounced over him, she drove him crazy with lust. He sat up and removed that elastic around her hair. He ran a hand over her hair and kissed her once more. She was forceful this time, kissing, biting and scratching him. He couldn't hold it anymore; she was gyrating her hips and stroking his chest. He shot into her; Lilly let out a whine and dropped to his chest.

Scotty felt sleepy all of the sudden, he smiled when Lilly played with his chest hair. "I'm resigning my job with the bureau." She said breathlessly.

He opened his eyes and looked at her surprised, "why?"

His wife looked up to him, "Zara calls Clara mami." Scotty sobered.

"Lilly I'm sure Zara was just confused." Lilly shook her head and her eyes filled with tears.

"No, she looked at Clara and called her mami just like you call Rosa." Lilly hugged him.

"Poor Clara didn't know what to do. Zara saw me and tried to walk to me. I know she knows I'm her mother. I don't want her thinking that Clara is her mom too. She doesn't have two moms. She has one and it's me." She said anxiously.

Scotty caressed her face, "Lil you almost went crazy those first days when we moved to New York and you were unemployed."

Lilly shook her head, "I can't be at headquarters and have my baby call someone else mommy. I won't have it Scotty." She moved away from him and sat next to him.

"I don't want our daughter to resent me. I don't want her to have any doubts; I want Zara to grow up and now that her parents love her unconditionally." Scotty sat up too.

"Lil, work has always been your priority." He tried to reason with her.

"You don't understand, Zara is more important." Lilly was getting exasperated now.

Scotty looked at her, "I don't want you to regret anything Cielo. I don't want you to resent Zara or me for giving up your job in order to take care of her."

"I want to do this Scotty. I went back to work because I knew you felt guilty but I'm not ready, I don't want to leave Zara." She stood up and put on nightgown. The white lace see-through one that he liked.

She stood in front of the bed and spoke again, "I'll be resigning tomorrow. Ryan knows. He's been trying to get me more involved in the cases. I'm not concentrating on work anymore. I call home every hour and I miss my baby. The cases, they deserve justice, they deserve someone who will put them first. I can't put them first anymore. Zara needs me now, maybe I'll do consultancy or I'll go back once she's older."

Scotty sighed. "I don't understand this Lilly. You've already made up your mind why are we talking about this?" He didn't think it was a good idea for her to not work. Financially they were stable. He could easily support his family; surprisingly his salary was better than when they were living in Philly.

Lilly came back to bed and glared at him. "I'm not asking for permission, I'm just not sure if we can afford me not working." She pulled the bed covers and turned around, her back to him. He rolled her over and looked into her eyes. "Technically we can. We won't be paying for a babysitter anymore so that's a relief. We still have the rent from our apartment and as you said you might want to do consultancy later on." She was avoiding his gaze.

"Don't be mad at me Cielo. I'm trying to look out for you." Scotty toyed with the string of her nightgown.

"Well don't. I know how to take care of myself Scotty." Lilly said curtly and turned again.

Scotty quieted, he didn't like it when they fought and lately all they did was briefly kiss each other and sleep. He took a page from the early days when they were just friends. He waited about ten minutes before spooning her and nuzzling her neck. "I know you're not sleeping." She mumbled as he tightened his hold on her. He kissed her jaw and pulled a leg over hers.

"I know you know Cielo." He noisily kissed her cheek.