What it Feels Like by Lola Ray

I lit up a cigarette and leaned into the brick wall behind me. I took a long drag and held it in until my lungs began to burn, then slowly blew the gray smoke from my nose. The door to my left opened up and a greasy looking man stepped out, a plastic bag in his hand.

"It's all I could get, a good two days worth if you keep it cold." He said handing me the bag. "I was able to get you some…coffee too. You could get about eighty bucks for it if you sell it to the right people."

"Thanks Eric." I replied, sliding the bag onto the handlebar of my bike.

"No problem Carmen. Just let me know if you need anything, I'll be happy to swing by to the house if you need anything at all." He said softly, leaving with a creepy wink. I shuddered, although he was a nice guy, he gave me the willies, ever since I was little.

I swung my leg over the bike seat and kicked up the kick stand before pedaling down the darkening road. Very few cars passed me on the half a mile ride back to the house, and for that I was happy. After the 'fight' with Ashley, dad kicked me out. He said he was tired of my getting in trouble and handling me was turning into a stress for him. So I packed up my stuff and got on a bus, and went to Sacramento.

Before our mom died, she handed Aiden a key to the house we use to live in when we were younger, just incase we needed to get away. Dad didn't know about it, so it was a safe house for us if we needed it. And I needed it.

I parked the bike on the front porch and unlocked the door, relocking it behind me. I started to put the food Eric had given me into the fridge, opening up the coffee cup and getting a whiff of the bud inside. I sighed and put the cup into a cabinet. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Three new messages.

Aiden: Where r u?

Aiden: Well I hope ur ok where evr u r. Lemme no soon ok?

Ashley: Hey Carmen, I just wanted to see how every things going, everything pretty great right now for us. Thank you for everything.

I tossed my phone into the couch and fell into it myself.

"Anytime Davies. Anytime."

"So you guys wanna just follow me home?" I asked Sam and she nodded.

"Sure, I'm kinda interested to see where ya live. I mean, ya got yerself a hot older girlfriend, yer from America, it's all a bit odd yeah." She laughed and nudged me, making me laugh too.

"Well, it's my dad's house, we only just moved in here, so don't expect much." We laughed and joked as we walked out to the parking lot to meet Cassie. She kissed Sam hello and grinned at me.

"Off to your house then?" She asked and I nodded, heading to my car, and then home. I pulled into the long drive way and parked my car. Spencer was already home with Hayden. As Sam and Cassie got out of Sam's car their jaws fell.

"THIS…Is your house?" Cassie asked in awe. "I always use to drive by it, thought it belonged to some rockstar or-

"Yer Raife Davies daughter?" Sam blurted out and I could help but start laughing. "Oh god, I'm in heaven. Yoo're by fah the coolest new kid evah. I'm glad we made friend's Davies." She threw her arm around my shoulders and Cassie rolled her eyes.

"Hey guys." I turned my head and saw Spencer standing in the door, Hayden on her hip.

"Come on." I said and they followed me up to the door. I greeted Spencer with a kiss, and Hayden jumped from his mother's arms into mine.

"Who's this cutie?" Cassie asked, waving to Hayden.

"Hayden." He said in reply, grinning wildly.

"Our son." Spencer said, a huge grin growing on my lips as she said 'our'. They both gave me questionable looks but didn't pry at all.

"Hayd, can you say Hi to Cassie and Sam?" I asked and he waved his hand at them.

"Hiya." He said in the cute childish voice he had.

"Nice to meet you Hayden." Cassie said with a laugh, tickling the boys side as a greeting, which he loved. They followed us inside, Spencer shutting the door and the couple gazed around the house.

"Wait…Yer dad wouldn't happen to be here would he?" Sam said very slowly, her eyes getting wide.

"He actually left about an hour ago, but he'll be back around dinner." Cassie shook her said.

"You've done it now. I'm not reasonable for her actions when he arrives." She said cautiously. I laughed, he would love her attention. I plopped Hayden onto the floor in the living room and we sat on the couches, Sam and Cassie one and Spencer and I across from them on another. We talked about their families and ours, avoiding details of the Carlin's family tree. As Hayden drove matchbox cars over Cassie's long legs we started to discuss Tucker's Photography. Sam mentioned some of the clubs we'd talked about earlier, and Cassie said that that all the music stores would be good, especially the ones that harbor unsigned bands needing group photos.

"There's one right down the street from the school actually, I work there, and we have concerts for local bands who are always wanting their picture done." Cassie offered to bring in flyers to hang up, which delighted Spencer to no end. It wasn't until my dad came home that we stopped talking.

Upon his arrival, Sam nearly exploded, despite Cassie's attempts to calm her down. He ate it up too. It'd been while since anyone had fangirled over him. Once she'd settled down we had a very normal night. Like we were any other family having friends over for dinner.

Spencer and I fell into bed, tired and with sore ribs from laughing.

"Life here is going to be so much better than it was back home." My blonde goddess whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

"Anywhere I get to sleep next to you at night is better than back home." I could see her grin out the corner of my eye.

"You are such a sweet talker Davies." She joked, sitting up and then straddling my waist, my hands resting on her hips, just beneath her shirt hem.

"You love it my sweet talk."

"Mmm…nope She replied softly, hovering just inches above my face. I lifted my head for a kiss, but she pulled back just out of my reach, only moving closer when I fell back again.

"Not at all?" I questioned, trying again to feel her lips, only to be met with the same tease.

"Not even a little." Her seductive whisper sending chills up my spine, only making it worse when she took my bottom lip between her teeth, pulling it gently yet still never kissing me. This went on, she held my hands down and continued to play with me until I was begging for her lips to touch mine. When they finally did, my skin grew Goosebumps, my hands shooting under her shirt and holding her closely on top of me. "I love you…so much." She said between the rough contact of our lips, but my reply was stifled by whimpers when her hand went within my shorts.

Tell me how you like it. Im sorry everything is so few and far between. I'm trying, i'm just slow.