Uncanny Sirens

Chapter 36: Shop Til You Drop

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- 'Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs... Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.'- John McClane (Die Hard)

The Xavier Institute For Higher Learning-

Penny St Croix was sitting in the student lounge reading a physics textbook. Every now and then the red-skinned mutant girl would put the book down and make notes in a notepad.

'Wow, look at the Big Brain.' Sharon Smith grinned as she walked up to her friend. 'Nervous about the big test, huh?'

'Oh, hi, Sharon.' Penny smiled up at her friend. 'Yeah, I'm studying for Mr. McCoy's physics class. I can't make any sense of this book. It's just meaningless letters and numbers.'

'You've been studying for hours, girl.' Sharon pointed out. 'You've burnt yourself out. I know what'll cheer you up…'

Sharon pulled out a credit card from her back pocket with a great big grin.

'Let's go shopping!'

'Sharon, I'd love to come shopping with you…' Penny sighed. 'But I really have to study for this test.'

'You know how the saying goes, Penny…' Sharon reminded her friend as she took the textbook out of her hands and slammed it closed. 'All work and no play make Penny something, something…'

'Go crazy?' Penny guessed.

'Don't mind if I do!' Sharon beamed. 'Woo-hoo!'

Outside, a little later-

Penny had decided to go along with Sharon on a shopping trip. She guessed that it would do her some good to get out of the Institute. She could study when she got back.

'I hope you brought your credit cards.' Sharon warned the red-skinned mutant as she buckled herself into the bright purple VW Convertible that Ms. Frost brought her for her last birthday. 'Because we are going to shop until we drop!'

'I don't really want to buy much.' Penny told her friend. 'All I want to get is some books to help me study.'

'Penny, you're a sweet girl, but you have no idea how to shop properly.' Sharon shook her head. 'We're going clothes shopping, silly.'

'There's nothing wrong with the clothes I already have.' Penny pointed out, looking down at the clothes she was wearing. 'Is there?'

'Girl, all you have in your closet are comfortable sweaters and baggy pants.' Sharon responded. 'I'm gonna help you choose something sexy! Something that'll make Nicholas pop!'

'Does it have to be sexy?' Penny frowned. 'I don't like being sexy. Why can't I just wear clothes that I'm comfortable in?'

'Oh, my poor innocent Penny.' Sharon shook her head in pity. 'You have so much to learn.'

'We can't stay too long, remember?' Penny reminded her friend. 'We've got to prepare for the Danger Room session with Ms. Moonstar's squad tomorrow.'

'Those losers?' Sharon snorted in derision. 'Oh, please! Those guys couldn't beat us if they tried! Their powers all suck! I mean, what's up with Prodigy? Does he even have any powers?'

'He can mimic other people's skills.' Penny explained.

'Pff. What's the point of that?' Sharon laughed. 'If you're going to be a mimic, at least mimic somebody's powers. Lame!'

'I kind of like Surge, Wind Dancer, and Wallflower.' Penny confessed. 'They have good powers, and they're always nice to me.'

'Okay, I have to agree with you there.' Sharon conceded. 'The girls in that squad have cool powers, it's the guys that're lame.'

'What about Icarus?' Penny countered.

'Oh, please!' Sharon laughed. 'He's nothing but an Angel wannabe! And Elixir? Don't get me started on him! What good is healing in a fight? Ooh, I'm gonna mess you up with my healing powers! Yeah, whatever!'

Penny decided that it might have been a good idea if she kept quiet for the rest of the car journey. She didn't want Sharon to get too angry and having her end up driving them both off the road.

Salem Centre, a little later on-

Sharon had parked up and led Penny into the nearest clothes store. She didn't want to waste any more time before she gave her friend a makeover.

'Hey, what about this?' Sharon asked as she picked out a skimpy black top with a skull on it. 'I think this looks good. Black totally suits you.'

'I don't know…' Penny sighed. 'It's a little revealing, isn't it?'

'So?' Sharon shrugged. 'What of it? Ooh! This skirt go great with it!'

The lavender-haired cat-girl picked out a tiny skirt with a red tartan pattern.

'That isn't a skirt!' Penny winced. 'That's a belt! Monet would kill me if she saw me wearing something like that.'

'We're not shopping for your sister, sweetie.' Sharon shot back. 'We're shopping for you! Now, get in that cubicle and try them on.'

Reluctantly, Penny headed into a vacant cubicle to try the clothes on.

'I'm still not sure about these clothes…' Penny frowned as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'All my bits are hanging out…'

'Oh, what are you complaining about now?' Sharon groaned as she poked her head in through the curtain. 'Oh…'

Penny's initial suspicions were correct. The clothes that Sharon had chosen for her were just a little bit too small. The tiny skirt barely covered her backside.

'Perhaps you're right, Penny…' Sharon frowned. 'That skirt doesn't suit you at all. If you did end up wearing it you'd be too scared to bend down to pick anything up in case you ended up making an exhibition of yourself.'

'Can we go somewhere else, please?' Penny begged her friend. 'I don't like it in here. People are staring.'

'Yeah, I guess.' Sharon nodded. 'Let's go get you some new shoes.'

Later-

'Ow, Sharon, you're hurting me!' Penny hissed as her feline friend laced up the great big boots that she had chosen for her scarlet-hued companion. 'These boots are too tight!'

'Oh, hush.' Sharon shushed her friend. 'You have to sacrifice comfort to look good, you know. Now, try to stand up.'

Slowly, but surely, Penny began to stand up in the black knee-length black boots.

'Sharon, I feel stupid…' Penny sighed. 'Why can't I just get some new sneakers?'

'Anybody can buy boring old sneakers, Penny.' Sharon explained. 'But you're not anybody, you're a St Croix! You have to look the part.'

'Does being a St Croix mean I have to look like a reject from the Hellfire Club?' Penny sulked.

'Quit sulking, you.' Sharon tutted as she swatted her friend on the arm. 'You'll feel better once you've had a walk in your new boots.'

Penny frowned in concentration as she tried to put one foot in front of the other, which was easier said than done in the great big boots she was wearing. Thankfully, Penny didn't end up toppling over in the process.

'There, that wasn't so bad, was it?' Sharon grinned. 'Now, come on, let's see what your boots're like when you walk back to me.'

'You're enjoying this too much.' Penny frowned at her friend as she made several wobbly steps back to her friend. 'Oh!'

Sharon dashed forward to catch her friend before she fell onto the floor.

'Perhaps heels aren't your thing.' Sharon suggested as she helped her friend to a seat. 'I think sneakers would be a wise decision.'

'I just want to get back and carry on studying.' Penny sighed heavily as she rested her head on her hands. 'I didn't want to come shopping in the first place.'

'Aww, sweetie…' Sharon comforted her friend as she put her regular shoes back on. 'I'm sorry that this shopping trip didn't work out like we planned but look at it this way, at least it's better than all the times Jubilee dragged you around the stores. I didn't make you buy anything yellow, did I?'

A smile slowly spread on Penny's face. Sharon was right, Jubilee had an unhealthy obsession with the colour yellow.

'What do you say we give the shopping a rest for a while and go get something to eat, huh?' Sharon suggested. 'I know this place that does the greatest apple pie. You'll love it!'

Penny didn't need to be told twice. The red-skinned young woman grabbed her friend by the hand and dragged her out of the store. Apples made everything better.

TBC…

Next: The Sirens Vs The New Mutants

The Sirens take on the New Mutants, Dani Moonstar's squad, in the Danger Room. The New Mutants can't be all that lame, can they? Tune in next time to find out…