Chapter 37

Lana looked at the clock, and noting that it was almost 2pm realised that she was hungry but the thought of eating made her feel sick. She didn't want to eat, she didn't want to do anything, but the one thing she didn't want to do most, was call the Kent Farm pretending to care whether Joanne had returned as scheduled or not. However, if she didn't call everyone would be curious why, and knowing that she could delay no longer she picked up the receiver before hastily putting it back down again.

Closing her eyes she hoped and prayed that Clark answered the phone, if he did, then at least she could comfort herself with the knowledge that he hadn't missed Lois so much that he wanted to be alone with her. Picking up the receiver with a shaky hand, she dialled and waited, when Chloe answered the happiness in her voice was unmistakeable.

She apologised for not calling earlier, citing sleeping off her illness as an excuse, and taking a deep breath asked if everything was ok, remaining silent while Chloe ran through the anxiety everyone had felt both the previous night and earlier in the morning when Lois hadn't returned. Giving a dramatic pause Chloe finally declared Lois' triumphant return, and in turn Lana pretended to be overjoyed at hearing the news.

When she asked if she could speak to Lois to welcome her back, Chloe chortled and informed her that Lois wasn't available to anyone but Clark; explaining that he'd all but thrown Lois over his shoulder and rushed back to their apartment to be alone. Knowing that what she'd dreaded had indeed happened; was happening right now the tears began to silently stream down her face.

Holding a hand against her stomach she clenched her teeth hard, she had to get off the phone, her mouth uttered the lies of how happy she was and began to say goodbye, but before she could hang up Martha took the receiver and insisted that she join them for a celebratory dinner and wouldn't take no for an answer. She finally gave in just to get off the phone, promising to be at the farm by 7pm and all but threw the receiver down before running to bend over the kitchen sink.

As she hadn't eaten there was nothing to come out, but her stomach which was still sore from the previous night, insisted on heaving and contracting. Gagging on the bitter taste of bile that climbed up her throat and filled her mouth, she spit and spat until finally her muscles stopped and she could lay her face down on the side of the sink. Once she felt steady enough, she walked over to the kitchen table, collapsed into a chair and sobbed bitterly for all that had been taken from her, and all that she had given up.

Clark was with Lois, touching her, having sex with her and the thought of what they were doing, bit down so hard on her heart that her palm rose in automatic defence to massage away the pain.

He wouldn't be with her if she hadn't brought Lois back, flinching from the pictures her mind's eye insisted on dredging up of Clark and Lois together, she closed her eyes and pressed her fingers hard against the lids, then stood and stumblingly made her way upstairs to climb into bed and pull the covers up to her chin.

Here, while she was here in her bed, in her sanctuary she could dream of Clark, he was with her and everything was right with the world. He loved her, he whispered his love to her, and drifting back to sleep she dreamed of her and Clark making love again and again and again.

OoO

"Clark."

"Hmm."

"I'm hungry."

"Is that a hint for me to go out and buy lunch?" He asked amused looking down at her innocently smiling face.

"Uh huh."

"What'd you feel like?"

"I don't care." She replied shrugging then quickly shook her head. "No I do care, I want Chinese."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, cheesecake."

He nodded, got up, had a quick shower, dressed and was back in the room before she'd managed to climb out of bed "Um babe?'

"Hmm."

"I forgot my wallet."

"My purse is on the kitchen table." Nodding he left and was back in time to find her stepping out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

Placing the food on the little table in the bedroom, he moved one of the chairs so they'd be sitting side by side rather than opposite and turned back in time to see her reaching for her robe.

"Hang on Lo." Her hand paused, and a moment later she found him standing in front of her holding out his shirt. "Wear this."

She looked into his eyes, smiled and shrugging into the shirt, sat down to dry her hair while he collected plates and cutlery from the kitchen.

They ate in silence, enjoying the food and the sense of peace and familiarity being together brought. As Lois scooped up the last mouthful of cheesecake, Clark grabbed the wine glasses, placed them on the bedside table, fluffed and arranged the pillows, spun out of his clothes remaining only in his briefs and was back in time to watch Lois place her empty plate on the table. Scooping her up he dashed back to the bed, and floated until he was sitting comfortably against the nest of pillows, with Lois cradled between his legs, her back resting against this chest and his arms wrapped around her waist.

Placing her empty plate on the table, Lois felt a cool wind while reaching for her wine glass and found her hand meeting air as she was lifted up, before she knew it she found herself sitting on the bed cuddled back against Clark's chest. "Um ok." She turned her head and laughed quietly at the unrepentant curve of his lips. "Can I have some wine?" She asked politely, her lips twitching.

He reached over, picked up the glass and sipped before holding the glass to her lips. "Sorry Lo."

"Sorry for what?"

"Rushing you back into bed." He replied putting the glass back on the bedside table and wrapping his arms around her waist again.

"Well you did promise." She smiled but quickly sobered at the heavy cast to his face.

His eyes squeezed shut then opened full of remorse and locked onto hers "I have to tell you something and I want to hold you while I do it."

"Tell me what?" He looked nervous and she knew that whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be easy for him.

"I know that you're going to be hurt and angry and I don't blame you, but please just hear me out ok?" At her nod, he squeezed his eyes shut again before resolutely opening them and fixing his eyes on the wall over her shoulder he opened his mouth and began.

He told her everything, how he'd been glad when he was younger that it wasn't Lana who'd been unconscious in the Medical Centre, he confessed to begging Lana to take him back, using their time of trying to find out what was wrong with her to do it, and finished by explaining the few times he'd had premonitions of something being wrong but thinking only of Lana, not her in the hospital.

His voice had been subdued throughout and after he finished, he buried his face in the back of her neck and held her tight. He hadn't been able to look at her while talking, he couldn't bear to see the condemnation in her eyes, and was scared of what he'd hear when she finally did speak.

His voice came out soft and sincere "I'm sorry Lo, god baby I'm so sorry, I was a selfish prick but …" His voice trailed of when he heard the snort, lifting his face he looked up and found her grinning and shaking her head.

"Hon, unfortunately when you were a kid you were an idiot, am I surprised, no, but you can't change it, you can't undo it, it's in the past and you need to leave it there." She smiled patting his arm and kissing his chin.

"I was a selfish bastard Lo."

She nodded in agreement. "You were very selfish when it came to Lana, but you're not that way anymore, you've moved on from the boy you used to be."

"I know but…"

Shaking her head she cut him off. "No Clark, no buts, you've accepted the mistakes you made when you were younger, and you also admit when you screw up now, if you didn't, I couldn't be with you." At his nod she smiled. "I can respect someone who screws up and admits when they're wrong, but I can't respect anyone who continually blames others for their mistakes."

Turning to face him fully she cupped his face in her hands "You've told me about stuff that I didn't know years ago, the mistakes you made. I can't give you words of comfort and tell you that it wasn't your fault; but I can tell you that you must never let past mistakes dictate your life. I love the man you are now Clark, but I couldn't love you if you were still like Skipper." She looked into his eyes to let him see the truth "Skipper was usually a good guy, but his biggest fault was that he didn't think he had any faults except when it came to Lana. When it came to her he was happy to beat himself up for things that were outside of his control or whatever she dumped on him, but in most other respects Skipper pretty much always thought his actions were just and correct. He thought being an alien was the huge lie he was living, but it wasn't. The biggest deception he lived, was believing that he was usually without blame while his screw ups were someone else's fault."

He nodded, kissed her gently and hugged her tight. "I was so scared that you were going to hate me, leave me."

"Clark, if I left you for all the dumb things you did when you were a kid, either for or because of Lana, we wouldn't have gotten past our first date." He smiled in rueful amusement brushing his lips against her temple, grateful that Lois wasn't the kind of woman who held grudges, clinging to hurt feelings from actions of years past.

Turning around she leant back against his chest, and let her head rest against his shoulder. He leant down and kissed her neck, his hands smoothing up her arms and down again, one of her arms lifted, her hand cupped the back of his neck, her face tilted upward, their eyes locked, his head bent, hers lifted and eyes fluttered closed as their mouths met in a soft kiss that soon became heated.

OoO

They returned to the farm at 6 o'clock and as promised both Chloe and Martha stayed silent not interrupting once when Lois lectured them about backing Clark up when he did stupid things. She had no sooner finished then both ladies threw their arms around her, hugged tight and over coffee filled her in on everything, leaving nothing out.

"I died?" Lois asked quietly her fingers which had been running up and down Clark's thigh, stopped and clenched into the muscle of his leg. Feeling her tension, he placed one hand over hers and rubbed her back lightly with the other.

"Yeah, god Lo, it was really scary." Chloe said mistily. "We were so glad that you came back, but I don't ever want to go through that again."

Martha reached over and gripped Lois' hand. "We're so glad you're ok sweetie."

"Thanks, at least we now kinda know what happened all those years ago. As you mentioned before we don't know who did this or why, but at least we now know that 8 years ago, I wasn't just unconscious somewhere." Lois said lightly attempting to soothe the strain on everyone's face.

"We're not going to let it go, someone did this and we're going to find out whom." Chloe vowed.

"Yeah, but there's nothing we can do is there, I mean I'm alright, so it's not like they can be prosecuted or anything, who'd believe it anyway?" Lois asked doubtfully.

"No one, but at least if we know then Superman can let whoever's responsible know that he knows, so they don't try it again." Chloe said quietly and seeing the resolution on the faces around her Lois smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, even though I've tried not to think about what happened 8 years ago, it has been on my mind occasionally. Wondering if or when it was going to happen again, questioning if I was going to fall asleep one night and just never wake up." She shrugged and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Martha asked concerned before anyone else could speak.

"There wasn't any point, we didn't know what happened last time, and it never happened again, so I saw no reason to worry any of you, but there were times I was scared."

"Lo, I want to know when you're scared or worried, I need to know, don't hide it from me, ok?" Clark was disturbed that Lois had been scared of the same thing happening again, and he'd never known. When she nodded, he pressed a quick kiss to her temple.

"We were really glad when young Lois..."

"Call her Jo." Lois cut in and at the amused smiles, shrugged "She's not getting Joanne, that was my name and it'll be too confusing calling her Joanne now. Saying young Lois is too much of a mouthful and she's not getting Lois because I'm taking my name back."

"Why Jo?" Clark asked grinning and winked at the ladies.

"Well she's younger, so she can have the shortened name of Jo." Lois nodded stubbornly.

Clearing her throat Chloe nodded. "When Jo said that she wasn't going to interfere in your relationship with Clark, we were all relieved that that was one problem we no longer had to worry about."

Seeing the relieved smiles on all faces as they nodded, Lois nodded in return, pursed her lips and burst their bubble. "You believed her?" She asked gently.

"Yeah, why, she sounded really sincere, do you think she was lying?" Clark asked quickly, sharing a concerned look with his mom and Chloe.

"Clark she was me." Lois reminded him "I think she was lying unknowingly." She said gently and found three crest fallen faces staring back at her.

"What'd you mean?"

Blowing out a breath she explained "She tried to find a way to keep her memories but couldn't right?" At their nods "Ok, well if by some quirk of fate she did remember her time here, then yes I think she would have gone back and changed things."

"Even after saying she wouldn't?" Chloe frowned in consternation.

"She said she wouldn't when she was here, when she was seeing a Clark that had grown up and changed, but when she went back she would have been confronted once again by Skipper." At their frowns; "once she was faced with the reality of Skipper; brooding, whining and crying out for Lana on a daily basis, Clark here would have been forgotten quickly. Five days wouldn't have been long enough for her to reconcile the man he would be; to the boy she was encountering every day." Lois finished, trying to let them all down gently.

"If she remembered, she would have tried to change our lives." Clark stated flatly.

"I think she would have tried to change her/my life." Lois shook her head and corrected. "Jo may or may not have tried to get you back with Lana, but I do think that when she left Smallville to travel, you wouldn't have seen her again. She wouldn't have come back; she never would have taken the chance of ending up with you." Lois patted his leg consolingly "Sorry Clark, but you and Lana were pretty bad before she was with Lex, but after they were engaged and the short time I was still here after they were married was when the two of you were at your most unbearable."

He nodded in agreement and noticed the others were nodding too "You didn't remember anything though, did you Lo?" He asked grabbing her hand in panic.

"I never have, but now that we're talking about it I do remember something you said to me when I was here as Jo." She frowned and scratched her brow trying to bring the memory clear.

"You do?" Three voices asked in unison, surprise and curiosity showing on everyone's face.

"Yeah, you mentioned that you told Jo a bit about our relationship right?" At his nod, she smiled "I think it was something you said that made me realise I didn't need to run a mile to get away from you, but I just forgot it until now." She replied, coughing lightly to ease the constriction in her throat.

"What'd you remember Lo?" He asked, glad that she hadn't run away after knowing that she was going to marry him.

Turning to face Clark fully, her eyes solemn she held his hand and pressed it, waited a beat then quietly and sincerely replied. "I remember you saying that when we got married; in your vows you wanted to promise to obey me." She chuckled and laughed harder when Chloe and Martha joined in.

"Brat!" He pinched her side lightly, rubbed away the nonexistent hurt and joined in the laughter.

When the laughter died down he looked at his mom and Chloe and sighed. "I know we have a lot to talk about, including our memory being altered and Lo returning later than expected but can we do it after the engagement party?" They nodded and smiled. "Thank you, I just want to enjoy the next few days, but I promise we will talk about it, ok?" They all agreed and he smiled in appreciation.

"Now changing the subject, I was thinking it seems unfair that the two of you are doing so much cooking and I haven't done any, so how about I make something for the party as well." Lois asked but never got a reply as all eyes swung to the door at the light knock and three people breathed out sighs of relief at the interruption.

"Lois, it's good to have you back, I rang this morning and Chloe told me that you'd returned." Lana said cheerfully coming into the house and joining everyone at the table.

"Thanks Lana." Lois replied and smiled politely. She felt uneasy around Lana and didn't know why. It wasn't because Lana was in love with Clark, it wasn't because she knew that Lana didn't like her, neither of those disturbed her but there was something. She tried to hold onto an elusive memory of why she didn't trust the other woman, but it slipped away and shrugging internally she decided to let it go for the present.

"I was just saying that I should make something for the party but don't know what, any ideas?" She asked Lana, bringing her into the conversation.

Lana smiled. "Umm well you could make a cake, or pie something like that. I'm cooking too, so all of us girls can all help each other out."

"Hmm, Clark what do I make that you like best?" Lois turned and posed the question to him.

"I…well, you know Lo, this party is for us and I just want you to enjoy it, to take it easy. Besides until today we haven't spent any time together since coming here, so I want you to myself, not cooking when we have mom, Chloe and Lana already doing it." He replied tactfully, keeping his eyes firmly away from the other women knowing they were smirking at him.

"But…ok, I can't argue with that." She smiled in return. "Well we don't have to go shopping because that's already done, but I still have to find something to wear."

"Actually Lo, Jo bought a dress for the party."

"Really, well she's me so she's bound to have good taste, I'd better go check it out and find out if I need to buy accessories or already have some that match." Tugging her hand free, she slid out of the seat and retreated upstairs.

"God that was close."

"You saved us all honey, thank you." Martha replied so fervently that everyone chuckled.

"Who's Jo?" Lana queried, nodding and smiling when brought up to date.

"Well the dress is great and she also bought earrings but I need shoes, Clark you'll have to take me to Metropolis tomorrow ok, I know just the shop to find what I want." Lois retook her seat and gave him a knowing smile when she saw the heat in his eyes flare up at the mention of shoes.

Leaving the women to talk he pulled out his phone, walked outside and called Oliver.

"Hey Ollie, I know Chloe called you but I wanted to call you myself, let you know that everything's fine and to thank you for all your help."

"You're more than welcome; I'm just sorry we didn't find the bastard who did this."

"I know, we're not going to give up but now that it's over I don't know if the chances are good at finding anything."

"The chances are slim but we've had worse odds before and come out on top." Oliver paused and continued fiercely. "Someone knows something Clark, and one day they'll let it slip and we'll be waiting." He promised.

"Thanks."

"How is she?"

"She's good, she wasn't aware of anything happening, she doesn't even remember dying thank god, but it's not something I'm going to forget in a hurry." Clark replied pacing the porch.

"No I don't suppose it is, take care of her Clark and I'll see you both on Saturday night ok?"

"Yeah."

"Clark!" Oliver called before hanging up. "Give me a call if you need anything, alright?"

"I will, thanks Ollie, bye." He hung up the phone and tucked it back into his pocket, letting his hands rest against the porch rail.

"Clark are you ok?" Lana asked stepping outside and leaning against the porch rail beside him.

"I'm good Lana, hell I'm great." He smiled and nodded. "Lo's back and I feel…god I feel ….." His voice trailed off and he shrugged. "I can't put into words how relieved I am."

"Well you certainly look more carefree than I've see you lately."

"I feel more carefree than I have in six days." He laughed in relief then cocked his head when Lois called his name impatiently. "And there's my sweet angel calling me now." He grinned, ushering Lana ahead of him back into the kitchen.

"Did you call me Lo?" He asked upon entering the house.

"Yeah, we want dinner."

"Ok, what does everyone feel like?" He looked around the room encountering shrugs from everyone and rolled his eyes. "Ok, how about pizza?"

"Nope." Lois shot down before the words had barely passed his lips.

"Chicken."

"Nope." She shook her head.

"Chinese."

"Nope." She rolled her eyes and waved her hand for further suggestions.

"I'm outta suggestions and since you keep saying nope, you come up with something." He took a seat at the table, enjoying the exchange with his beloved.

"Mexican."

"Nope." He replied shooting her down.

"Indian."

"Nope." He shook his head ignoring the sniggers from his mom and Chloe.

"Pasta."

"Nope." He quipped, moving out range when her hand swept out to hit him.

She turned to face their quiet but fascinated audience. "Any suggestions?"

"Nope." Chloe and Martha replied promptly bursting into laughter.

Narrowing her eyes she turned back to Clark. "I wanna be fed!"

"Yes dear but what do you feel like?"

"Cake."

"That's desert."

"Ice cream."

"Desert." He sung back.

"Oh hell we're gonna be here all night, and I'm hungry." She whined dropping her head on the table.

"How about I fly over to Texas and get us all barbequed steaks with jacket potatoes and all the trimmings." The women all nodded pleased at his suggestion but it was Lois' response he enjoyed the most. Her head lifted, her eyes glazed and became greedy then she smiled.

"Yeah." She licked her lips and all but pulled him out of his seat. "Go and please god, don't let any emergencies crop up." She pulled and pushed him towards the door, then stopped grabbed a bag and thrust it into his hands. "Here, you'll need something to carry it in."

Nodding and laughing he left and returned shortly thereafter with their dinner.

OoO

The moon slanted through the partially open blinds and onto the occupants of the bed, lying curled around Lois, Clark hugged her back against his chest. "Lo why didn't you tell me you were scared of the same thing happening again?"

She turned around to face him. "There wasn't any point, it wasn't something that I thought about a lot, just every once in a while I'd go to bed and wonder if I'd wake up the next morning."

"I wish you'd told me babe."

"I didn't dwell on it Clark and I didn't want to worry you for no reason." She shrugged and finished simply. "We never found out what caused it in the first place, and nothing actually happened, I was fine afterwards."

"You damn well died." He replied fiercely hugging her close.

"I know that now but I didn't know it then." She whispered against his ear, running her hands soothingly over his back.

"I won't let anyone take you from me Lo." His hands smoothed down her back to her bottom, rubbing over the globes softly before one hand slid down and grasped her leg, gently pulling until her thigh was resting high on his hip. Once in place his hand patted her thigh then smoothed over to her bottom and under, his fingers lightly stroking over and in between the folds of her sex.

"Clark, not here, your mom." Lois protested quietly, trying to move her leg of his, but his arm that was trapped between her body and the mattress pulled out super-fast, and his hand gently but firmly held her leg in place.

"Shhh, we're not going to make love, I just…." He trailed off and kissed her forehead, continuing to swirl his fingers over and around her softness before nudging her onto her back and sitting up. But when his hand slid over her tummy and down, Lois quickly closed her legs "Stop Clark, please." Her hand reached out to grab his but he captured it in his free one and raising their joint hands, he pressed a kiss against the back of her hand but didn't let go.

His other hand rested quietly on the curls of her mound; leaning down he spoke softly in her ear "It's ok Lo, it's ok, I just need to get you wet sweetheart, I promise we're not going to make love; you know that I'd never force you, please baby trust me; open your legs."

Knowing that she could trust him, her legs slid open; their eyes locked as his fingers moved down grazing and teasing; dipping a finger lightly in her entrance, he coaxed until the moisture flowed faster and began to seep over his fingers.

Tenderly and insistently his fingers ran over the flesh, spreading the moisture all around and once done to his satisfaction, he moved to lie in the cradle of her thighs, his penis nudging at her soft folds but not entering. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss against her jaw before his head lifted to catch her eyes with his again "I want to fall asleep buried inside you tonight; I want to feel you surrounding me as I slip into sleep. I'm sorry Lo I didn't mean to scare you before, I just...I didn't want to hurt you by entering when you were dry and I wasn't sure that if you said yes, if I'd be able to wait to get you ready first."

Her hand lifted to cup his jaw "You didn't scare me, you were just more …. determined than usual. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I just…" He shrugged and shook his head "I want to be inside you Lo, god I need to be." His forehead dropped lightly onto hers their eyes still locked "These last few days I didn't know when or if I'd ever be with you again, please."

Knowing how scared she felt when he disappeared of the radar, she understood and nodded her consent breathing out quietly "Yes."

Grasping her bottom, he kept his eyes on hers as he gently pushed until his penis was sitting nice and warm inside her snug passage then smoothing her hair back framed her face in his hands and kissed her, unaware of the tears seeping down his face until she lifted her hand and wiped them away.

"Clark?"

He shook his head silently but couldn't answer.

"Honey what's wrong?" Lois repeated holding him tight, running her hands over his neck trying to soothe.

"I was so scared Lo, so scared when you died and I thought I'd lost you forever, scared when you didn't come back on time, scared that I'd never hold you, talk to you, love you again." He grasped her bottom and pushed deeper and more firmly into her.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ok?" She said softly, her hands continued to caress the back of his neck and shoulders until he calmed. "Clark." His head lifted and his eyes met hers "You're not a selfish lover hon, you never have been, I know you would have waited for me to be ready." At his doubtful look "Clark, sometimes you go out of your way to make sure that I'm ready, by which time I'm ready to scream 'hallelujah', you couldn't be selfish in bed, no matter how desperate you feel."

Smiling in gratitude for her faith in him he kissed her softly and moving his arms to clasp around her waist he rolled onto his back, and settled her comfortably on top, his heart at peace knowing she was alive and with him.

"Are you comfortable babe, do you want me to move us to our sides?" His hands stroked up her back, crushing her gently closer.

She shook her head and kissed his chin "I'm fine, I like lying on top of you." Moving her mouth to his ear she whispered "I love feeling you inside me."

"I love being inside you, as long as you're in my arms I don't want for anything else." He rubbed his cheek softly against hers "Lo."

"Hmm?"

"You didn't remember anything when you woke up in the Medical Centre did you?"

"No, I didn't remember a thing; at the time it scared the hell out of me; not knowing how or why it happened, not having any dreams just a blank nothing, but now I'm grateful."

"So am I Lo, so am I." He paused then added quietly "But you were wrong, you know?"

Her head shifted on his shoulder to look at him "About what?"

"It wouldn't have made any difference if you left Smallville and never came back, one day I would have found you again, whether by accident or design, but I would have found you." He nodded at the dubious look on her face, before continuing "And then I would have stuck to you like glue intent on making you mine. Don't ever doubt it babe, I would have found you."

"Are you talking about that destiny crap?" Her brow lifted in query, her voice cynical.

"Yep, destiny, fate, providence call it what you like, but I would have found you again and your days as a single woman would have been numbered." One side of his mouth curved, he knew how she felt about that stuff, but he knew that what he'd said was true.

"You were back for 18 months before we started going out Clark, I was still single for a long time after you came back." She shook her head in gentle mockery.

"Yeah, I suppose you were." At her nod, he smoothed his finger over her brow and smiled "In your mind you were single; but as I've told you before, in mine you were very much taken." She smacked him lightly on the chest but his grin was unrepentant.

"You know it was on a night just like this, with the moon slanting into the room and onto your face when I looked and finally realised that I loved you." She lifted up and cupped his cheek in her hand.

"You should have woken me up and told me, I guarantee that I would have been happy to hear it."

"I couldn't, I looked at you and knew and then I got scared."

Love was scary so he understood but couldn't keep from asking. "Why?" His fingers toyed with the pendant swinging between her breasts. She'd been pissed off when he clasped it around her neck despite her protests. She'd tried arguing but seeing the inflexible look in his eyes had finally shrugged and left it on. This was something that he wouldn't give into her on, and she knew it.

"Because I knew that what I felt for you was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before." She paused and continued softly. "It wasn't just infatuation or lust, or even attraction, this time…this time it was all that and more. This time it was love and I was scared because I knew that my heart would never be whole again if I ever lost you, if you left me."

"You could never have lost me Lo and nothing could make me leave you." He vowed quietly, holding her eyes fast with his.

"I know that now, but that night I had to believe it in my heart. I'd had a number of boyfriends before you; ones who'd pursued me then turned and walked away once they caught me, ones that I liked but walked away from." She took a deep breath. "I knew that I could never walk away from you, but I was scared that you'd realise you wanted out and leave me."

"Never! Those men were idiots Lo, you would never ever stay with a moron, that's why they left; they walked away before you could."

"They weren't Clark, they just realised that I wasn't what they wanted." She shook her head smiling at his almost fierce defence of her.

"They were idiots." He replied flatly. "And I thank god for each and every one of them being that way."

Her hand smoothed over his shoulder, her eyes smiled into his. "Anyway that's why I didn't tell you until the next night. I had to accept it myself first, I believed that you loved me, but I had to trust that you wouldn't leave."

Nodding his understanding his hands stroked over her back. "I could never leave you Lo, hell baby I don't just love you, I flat out adore you." His hand tugged her head down; their lips met and exchanged a series of fleeting closed mouth kisses before her head rested to lie on his shoulder.

"Just think, right now back there you and Chloe are asleep here in my bed but the tables are turned Ms Lane, I've got you in my clutches now and there's no escape for you." He teased injecting a lighter note and looked down to smile at her.

"Right now back there you're probably thinking of Lana and dreaming about getting her back in your clutches." She taunted back softly.

"You talk too much woman." He shot back disapprovingly "Go to sleep."

She laughed lightly, kissed the side of his neck and was soon asleep; he forced himself to stay awake as long as he could, looking at the sleeping beauty locked in his arms, until sleep finally claimed him as well.