So, quickly, while I've got a few days at home before hitting the not so dusty trail again - I suppose this is actually a continuation/prequel to 'In the Dark' way, way back in chapter 3 of this collection. Strangely, I think this should be read backward - chapter 3 first and then this one. Hey, if it works, right? on a by the by - anonymous - wow, your review really made my day and it was just what I needed. Thanks. And to all my gentle readers and best beloveds, happy Passover and Happy Easter! :D

A Turk and His SOLDIER

by TamLin

He looked down at the object in his fingers and turned it, blue eyes narrowed.

Pretty soon the rest of his crew would arrive. There would be sound and motion and the usual last minute rushes to make sure everything was in order. They'd get updates over their phones, voices in the ear mikes, more people rushing around outside to clear the way for their exit…

But now, right now, in this moment, he was the only one there. The cockpit was silent, it's electronics still turned off, and the only sound he could hear passed the open door in the back was the rush of wind over rooftops and somewhere far away, muted voices drilling and ocean waves. If he inhaled, he could at least pretend he could smell salt water passed the oil and metal.

He bet she could.

The thought made him smile, just barely, to himself and he looked back down at the small sliver of silver in his leather covered hand.

How long had they been together?

First in childhood, growing up in Nibelheim. Those weren't memories he enjoyed looking back on and they hadn't been a part of each other's lives then. Or, she'd been part of his, always, always, the same way the sunshine or the mountain air had. He just hadn't been sure she'd known he existed as anything more than a town fixture. Especially after he'd let her fall…

He shook his head and closed his hand over the silver.

He'd made that up to her. He had. Even if she didn't seem to think it needed to be made up for or even understand – he'd fixed that. Or – there was no fixing the past – but at least he'd changed the way it had tried to set his – their – future.

At least, he was trying to.

He'd gone with her though. Snuck away from home to follow her onto the Shin-Ra bus. His mother had since forgiven him but all he'd known at the time was that, the night before when she'd confessed she was joining the corporation's program in a whisper on top of the well… her eyes had looked so large and lost and scared. And he'd know – right then – that he'd never let her go alone. Deep in his heart that night, he'd made her a promise.

To always be there for her. To always come when she needed him.

So he'd slipped onto the bus with the rest of the boys going to be regulation grunts and from the back he'd watched her with her brave smile and her cheerful goodbyes as she got on last.

He'd watched her all the way to Midgar.

When he wasn't busy puking his guts up.

The thought made him smirk and he reached out with his other hand to caress the stick of the helicopter. He hated traveling in enclosed spaces. The motion, the lack of fresh air, it made him sick to his stomach. But when he was the one piloting the beast… oh, that – that was a world of difference.

That was freedom. And he found that his soul craved that above almost everything.

Almost.

His thumb rubbed over the metal circle resting trustingly in his palm.

She'd joined the women's division, he'd joined the men's when they'd reached the City in the Sky. He hadn't gotten to see her much, not at first. He'd spent more time worrying about her than he had about himself and it had showed in his original scores. Even if the SOLDIER program accepted men, which it didn't, he knew he never would have made it. But she had.

It was why she had come to Midgar in the first place and he'd never once doubted her ability to become anything she wanted to. Hearing she had passed the first of the rigorous tests on the way to SOLDIER had made him more proud than if he'd done it himself – and it had also panicked him

Because he'd suddenly realized that she was going to be going out – out there – into the rest of the world and that the rest of the world was dangerous. He couldn't protect her, couldn't be there for her, as a Shin-Ra nobody grunt.

So he'd joined the Turks.

It hadn't been his first thought but he'd formed a friendship with one of them on a botched mission where FUBAR had applied to every aspect. They'd gotten along and Zack had complimented him on his ability to think on his feet. Zack was already a Turk at the time and just a few ranks away from achieving top recognition. Top recognition which, he'd cheerfully informed Cloud, would allow him to be permanently partnered with a SOLDIER, the eyes and ears and darker skills to her strength and reputation.

Zack was excited because it meant he was going to end up with some 'hot chick' and do 'real Turk work'. Cloud had heard the revelation as if it were a divine message to his previous failures, a light leading him forward through the darkness.

He'd done what it had taken, including cheating and calling in Zack's help, and he'd applied to join the Turks.

Later he found out that cheating and knowing the 'right people' was considered standard Turk operating procedure and had helped get him, as bumbling as those first attempts had been, short listed into the program. All he'd known for sure at the time was that when you were fighting, you fought in whatever way you needed to in order to make sure you won – and that he wasn't going to fail Tifa again. If being a Turk was what it took to stand by her side, than he'd be a Turk.

And all the darkness that came with it.

He looked back down at the ring in his palm and his eyes were dark and a little lost. The corporation and the Turks in particular were very, very good about having moral grounds for what they did. For glossing over things and keeping you from looking too closely at them. Your morals developed calluses fast. But… he still…

He still thought for himself. Despite the training and the indoctrination – and the simple fiercely loyal Turk camaraderie that made you want, very badly, not to. And – he was starting to get uncomfortable with the way he saw things heading deep inside the corporation.

Oh, he wasn't naïve. Not anymore. He knew that the corporation had never been blameless or clean. But… lately…

Maybe it was that he paid attention. He actually looked when he was involved in something. Tseng said it was one of the traits that made him so invaluable to the Turks. His ability to do something as simple as pay attention to details. He'd always paid attention to details. And the details he was seeing, in his head the way they were starting to fit together…

He frowned and closed his hand around the ring.

He wasn't sure he liked it and he hoped he was wrong and – and even if he wasn't how could he ever leave –

"Tifa." In his solitude, he could whisper her name and let the soft smile it brought to his lips out.

Recently promoted to SOLDIER 1st. His SOLDIER 1st. His partner, his responsibility, his shield mate. SOLDIER were always female – the mako had reacted badly with male testosterone in high levels and caused insanity. The first batch of male SOLDIER experiments had needed to be put down and that had been before Cloud's time at Shin-Ra. Since then, Shin-Ra had been on the lookout for female recruits. Tifa had scandalized the entire town when she'd volunteered but he'd understood. He'd wanted to be something more than a grocery store worker or a local innkeeper too. And – and that night at the well, she'd confessed that, if she was strong enough, maybe she could protect people like her mother from monsters that killed them and left their bodies strewn across flower filled meadows.

He understood that.

Needing to be strong enough to protect someone you loved…

He was. He had. In the year they'd been together, he'd saved her. Been able to be there for her.

Most of the time.

She called him her friend. Her partner. When she was exhausted, it was his shoulder she let her head drop onto. When she was happy, he was the one she turned her eyes to first. When she was upset… when she was upset, he was the only one she wanted to be around.

He paid attention to detail. He'd noticed.

It filled up the lonely place inside him that even the Turks, even Zack, couldn't fill. It made him look forward to missions when he could see her again, and downtime when she would be around to 'accidentally' run into. He was important to her. Even… he liked to pretend maybe he was even special out of all the SOLDIER and Turks that loved her. Opening his hand, he stared at the ring with its wolf head.

That was his symbol. Fenrir. Reno had said he was as clever as a wolf once and it had stuck.

Cloud didn't mind.

Tifa had liked it…

She'd even blushed prettily when Zack had laughed and called Cloud 'her wolf'.

Cloud didn't mind that either.

Turks already felt possessive about their specific SOLDIER. HQ knew better than to try to assign pairs that weren't already bonded. The one time they'd tried with Cloud, his 'replacement' had been found unconscious, shaved bald and tapped up in the broom closet and Cloud had already been on the outbound ship toward Wutai, hacking up half a lung from his flu and the other half from his motion sickness. He'd made it though and they hadn't tried a stunt like that since.

He'd heard that Genesis had done worse when they'd tried to sideline him thanks to a fractured ankle. Cissnei was still scolding him over that one.

It made Cloud smile to himself a little and then he exhaled as he lifted the ring.

Would Tifa wear it – if he gave it to her? Would she want to?

He made a noise and buried his face in his gloved hands, careful not to dislodge the ring.

Was he even going to have the nerve to offer it?

Probably not. He'd already had it for months now. She'd even spotted it once, travel arrangements often made for close quarters. He'd stammered out something absolutely idiotic and stuffed it hastily back in his suit pocket.

He might be a Turk but he was still such a loser. It was too bad the glasses and gloves didn't come with automatic suaveness.

Was 'suaveness' even a word?

Genesis would say it was.

Raising his eyes to peer over the safety of his hands, Cloud blinked at the windshield of the helicopter. He just –

He had a bad feeling about this mission.

A really, really bad feeling.

They'd been in tough situations and dangerous situations before. He'd had bad feelings about missions almost every time they went out. But this one…

This one was different.

This one was in home territory.

Nibelhiem.

A part of him had never wanted to see that town again and he knew that wasn't fair to his mother. He didn't have many good memories of the place and he already knew being a Turk wasn't going to change anyone's opinion of him there. He missed the mountains, the way the air tasted, the snows and the meadows full of grass and the stars that went on forever – but he didn't miss the town.

The best part of Nibelheim was already with him.

But the reactor there had been malfunctioning somehow and he and Tifa had been near Fort Condor, so the corporation had sent another team. Zack and his SOLDIER. The dark haired Turk had even called him on the PHS just to brag that he and Aerith were going to go see exactly what it was in Nibelheim that stunted growth spurts.

That had been a week ago.

With no contact since then and no contact with Nibelheim either.

SOLDIER and Turks sometimes dropped off the grid – but not for something as routine as a reactor check. Something was wrong and everyone knew it.

Which was why Cloud was sitting in the helicopter in Junon, waiting for his partner, his SOLDIER, his Tifa, to round up the rest of their party so they could leave. He'd seen the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes when she'd found out where they were going and he understood. She wasn't the village sweetheart that had left so many years ago. Perhaps neither of them really wanted to return.

But Zack and Aerith were there and they were in trouble badly enough that it had keep them from even contacting HQ. Whether they wanted to or not, whether he had a stomach clenching bad feeling or not – it was time for them both to go home.

From the corner of his eye, he caught movement and turned his head enough to spot his partner effortlessly leaping up onto the higher platform and trotting toward him. She saw his attention and waved with a smile that never failed to make him feel like the most important person in the world.

His hand clenched around the ring.

Should he - ?

Could he - ?

Later. With something close to panic he shoved the ring roughly back in his pocket and started the preflight prep. He'd give it to her later. Maybe after Nibelheim. After they'd laid the last of their ghosts to rest.

Yeah.

Yeah, he'd give it to her then.

It could wait.

Just for a little while longer… it could wait.