Hidden from Sight by Betty Bokor
Mary/Marshall. Mary wakes up after the shooting and everything starts to change.
Spoilers: All episodes, including Second Season Finale.
Disclaimer: The In Plain Sight original characters belong to USA Network and Universal Media Studios (UMS). This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Hidden from Sight
Chapter 37
A.N. Still in a weird mood, having trouble leaving all my friends behind, one more time. ------ Only Marshall's point of view. Please, let me know what you think; I think I might need his mother to tell the secrets to Mary. And he still has not given her the gift.
For a few minutes he walked down the street at a brisk pace as if afraid that he would cease breathing if he stopped. He was feeling a strong pain in his chest and his head about to explode.
At the end of the block there was a small playground; he walked through it and sat down on one of the swings. He unconsciously put a hand to his chest while he tried to calm his breathing. He loosened the collar of his shirt and took a couple of deep breaths.
He was overreacting and he knew it, but what he had said to Mary had not been a sudden reaction to her choice of words; it had been the result of finding that all his fears were founded in reality and not just his imagination. Now he could see that that was what he had been afraid of all along. He knew he had been pushing Mary, consciously or not, toward what he wanted, a commitment. It was not news that she would not be happy with that; she had already been through a divorce and a broken engagement ─that he knew of─ for the same reason. Nevertheless, he had kept nudging until she had relented and he had been so masterful at it that, in everyone else's eyes, it had been Mary who had asked for the definitive vow.
He had to stop being so selfish and setting Mary free was the only way possible. He could not deal with half way solutions; he loved her too much. Either she was completely his or she was completely free. It had been clear to him that the second option would be the one she would favor, so he had said those words that still burned in his mouth.
Goodness… He had to learn not to want her so badly anymore…
A few minutes earlier, right before kissing her, he had still believed she was the only one capable of filling the emptiness he had felt for so many years. Then, it had dawned on him that she would never be able to do that. Her history with her parents had marked her too deeply. She could not give him what he needed because she was damaged and because, even if he would never admit it to her, he was as damaged as she was, perhaps even worse.
There had been other women before her; he had loved before her; he had been happy before her. He just had to relearn the right skills to find someone else.
From the time when he had met Mary, he had been slowly falling for her until there was nowhere else to go. She had granted him a few months ─no, scratch that─ a few days when he had felt she was his and he had been blissful. He would have to hold onto those memories and put all his energy in raising their child and, maybe then, he would be alright.
He was strong. He could do it. Mary still needed a keeper and that was his role. She would eventually find someone to share her life, someone willing to take the little bit she was able to give and think that was enough.
He sighed. He was mad at himself for having dreamt that it was possible to capture the exotic animal. The reason she had a keeper was because she could not be caged. She had to be allowed to roam free, even if she had never been handed the right tools to deal with the world. That was why she needed him and that was why he would stay in the Albuquerque office until the day she did not require him to survive anymore or she found a better keeper to replace him.
How many hours had he spent looking at her from afar, almost certain that she would never be his? Well, he could go back to being at a safe distance. Over time, all the memories of their time together would be stripped of the emotional element they had now and he would be able to recall without hurting.
Not that he had achieved that with other memories of his life… Maybe he was older and wiser now. He had to give himself the benefit of the doubt.
He looked at his watch. He had been out for at least ten minutes. The guests would be starting to get curious. What was he going to do? The idea of standing in the middle of the yard and telling them the truth of what had happened did not seem as appealing as it had when he was still furious. Family and friends had put equal parts of love and caring to make that wedding happen. Maybe he should just go back to the party, complete the farce with the cutting of the cake, and take off with Mary. They still had the reservations he had asked his father to make for the same hotel where they had spent the last weekend. They could talk and plan for the week ahead. He would need to find the right paperwork to get the annulment and they would have to make it look like a compelling case.
Besides, they had to go back to work on Monday. They needed to be in good terms by then.
Over the next weeks, slowly, they would let everyone know that the experiment had failed.
He sighed again and put his hand back on his chest. It still hurt badly.
He stood and started walking towards the house. He would go by the kitchen and try to find Mary to figure out if she had already given the news to anyone.
If only it did not hurt so much…