A/N: I'm still here, I promise! :)
I've just been all over the place and stretching myself too thin with too many writing projects lately. If you haven't checked out my Profile in a while, feel free to have a look as there are several new stories that have been posted since Untold Stories was last updated.
I have another UL prompt for you lovely readers/followers that is, personally, very near and dear to me. It involves an important revelation about one of the girls that has been a long time coming. Whether it surprises you or not, I welcome your feedback as always. Just know that this was always intended to be my OC's truth.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is copyrighted to and belongs to JK Rowling. I'm just playing in her sandbox and own none of her associated characters. New characters belong to me.
Mother Knows Best
Surina reluctantly seeks out Hermione's sympathy instead of going to her usual consoler: her father. What Surina has to disclose comes as a (welcoming) surprise.
(Prompt from ChesterK, who asked for said prompt above. The revelation that comes, however, is entirely my own, and one that may shock some readers and not others; but it's Surina's truth—I've always believed her to be this way—and there will be more of her story in UL pieces to come.)
Surina Snape wasn't the type to ask for help when she needed it. Seeking the company of another to confess her troubles aloud wasn't the Slytherin manner of handling one's personal affairs. It just wasn't the natural way of things.
Maybe it just isn't your method of handling your problems...or Dad's, she tried to comfort herself this evening as she tucked herself away in the sanctuary of her bedroom, where she'd been hiding out for most of the day.
Draped lazily across the covers of her bed whilst listening to a selection of her favourite Wizarding bands on repeat, Surina was intent on tuning out the world for a while, mostly in the hopes of clearing her mind of a few nagging, unresolved issues that had followed her home from Hogwarts. Surina hadn't meant to avoid her family in the process. Since returning home from school the day before, she'd been huddled up in her room and hadn't spoken to anyone, including her parents, whom she hoped—especially her father—weren't misinterpreting her absence as some sort of personal slight against them. She just needed to be alone with her thoughts; that was all.
Which means you should probably go downstairs and make an appearance, Surina...
In a minute, she answered her own irritable conscience, letting out a burdensome sigh in the process. She continued staring intently at the ceiling, as if the four walls surrounding her could talk and, somehow, held the precious answers she desired.
Looks like you'll have to talk to one of 'em…
I know, I know.
Dad might not be the best option. You've seen how he's shut down about Lily and James...
Yeah, but...he might understand?
He might. Then again, he might misunderstand.
I'm not so sure about that.
If you're not certain then you're not convinced.
"Thanks for the insight," she grumbled aloud and plopped onto her side to face her window, which showcased a picturesque view of the woodlands that stretched beyond her backyard.
It wasn't exactly a secret that Slytherin personalities tended to keep their problems to themselves rather than air their dirty laundry in a public forum; but, as her mother had too often said over the years, handling one's troubles all by oneself, without any input, guidance or a friendly ear, wasn't 'healthy, either.'
And you know Mum's got a point there...
Thus far, Hermione's sound advice hadn't stopped Surina from keeping what was presently bottled up inside her from both of her parents, however, as well as her sisters. That didn't mean Surina was entirely secretive, though. When it came to matters of the heart, and to whom she'd preferred to go to for counselling or comfort in the past, that person was almost inexplicitly Severus. She had a sneaky suspicion that that sometimes had a tendency to hurt her mother's feelings, but she certainly never meant any ill intentions by it.
For Surina, her father simply understood her better, both as a fellow Slytherin personality but also in his like-mindedness. More particularly, Surina appreciated not having to divulge every single detail about what was troubling her to her father. Expressing her feelings wasn't her strong suit anyhow, and, in many instances, Severus could finish her thoughts for her, or vice versa, so it was a comforting factor that he seemed to know and understand without her pouring everything out that was in her heart.
"Must be a Slytherin thing," she'd heard Hermione mumble on more than a handful of occasions.
And, her mother was probably correct.
Unfortunately, possessing certain Slytherin traits didn't always work to Surina's advantage. Since her father was not only a fellow alumni of her Hogwarts house but also a master at the art of mastication, and much more experienced in its practice than her, managing to keep certain secrets even from him didn't usually work out as she planned. Somehow, Severus managed to unravel whatever his second eldest was in a strop about, choosing to suffer in silence rather than discuss her feelings.
Ugh.
The mere idea of exposing her fears made Surina cringe into her pillow. Yesterday had turned into such a failed case of covertness, for, when Surina and her siblings, Lily and Hailey, stepped off the train at Platform 9 and ¾, Surina had barely taken two steps before Severus came swooping in, quietly wrapped an arm around her, and held her back from the others so that they might talk privately amongst themselves. Surina found herself hit by a series of carefully crafted inquiries from her father as to what might be 'bothering her' or 'on her mind.' Despite being caught off her guard, Surina couldn't bring herself to fess up to anything; not even to him.
Like her siblings, Surina couldn't have been more enthused about coming home for a nice three-month break from school. Next year would be her sixth, and there was a lot riding on her academically now that she'd successfully taken her O.W.L.s, receiving mostly Outstandings. However, the stress of school paled in comparison to the strange feelings that had come over her in her fifth year, most of which she'd wrestled with in silence but hadn't come to any sort of solution about. When it started affecting her concentration—even her grades—Surina buckled down and threw herself into her studies, tossing her issues aside.
However, the confusion within her personal sphere remained, simmering just below the surface, and, now that the summer was upon her, there seemed to be a lot of time to finally reflect on those unresolved feelings. Too much time, she moaned in her head.
Surina had sensed that Severus wasn't convinced by her excuses to disappear up to her room yesterday, although, by the time they'd Side-Along Apparated home, he no longer pushed her for clarity, instead permitting Surina to retreat for the remainder of the night and forgo joining the rest of the family for dinner. He was good like that.
Unlike Mum, who nags and nags and nags. Shite. Speaking of which...
Surina heard the stairs creaking at the end of the hall and immediately sensed who was creeping along the wooden floors, halting just outside her bedroom door. Sure enough, there came strong knocking, followed by several demanding calls of her name. Hermione had been up to Surina's bedroom a handful of times already since last night, and Surina was certain that the only drawback stopping Hermione from blasting her door down was her father's insistence that she not do so.
"Sweetie, can you please open up?" came Hermione's muffled voice on the opposite side of the doorframe. "You've been in there all day. Just talk to me, would you?"
Reluctantly, Surina finally slunk off her bed, inhaled a deep breath, and went to shut off her music. She then crossed her bedroom to open the door, taking her strides purposely slowly. It was now or never, and she'd kept her parents waiting long enough.
Hermione greeted her on the other side of the door with a distressed frown. Dressed in a loose-fitting white blouse, unflattering jean shorts with fringes at the edges, and a frizzy mop of curls that were presently pulled back into a lopsided ponytail, Surina couldn't help but return her mother's quirky, small smile, though it was brief.
"Ahhh, she lives," Hermione mocked relief and crossed her arms over her chest.
Surina's disposition fell. She rolled her eyes before retreating back to her bed, allowing Hermione to follow behind her and shut the door. She extracted her wand from behind her ear to place a Muffling Charm on the room before joining her daughter on the edge of her bed. Surina wouldn't look at her, though. She merely lay on her stomach, head in one hand, fingers absentmindedly tracing the design on her comforter.
"So, what's going on with you?" Hermione inquired quietly, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Why have you been avoiding the family?"
Just come right out and hound me, why don't you! Surina wanted to counter in return but forced her sharp tongue back.
"I'm not trying to avoid anyone, Mum..."
"Really? Because it sure feels that way."
"Can we leave whatever personal slights you have out of this?"
"Don't get fresh." Surina glanced up to find her mother glaring reproachfully down at her, her brown eyes unheated—yet. "Your father and I are worried. Apparently, you haven't even gone to him with whatever's bothering you." Hermione's frown increased as she studied Surina's tight-lipped expression. "And you haven't eaten a thing all day."
Surina snorted. "I am kind of hungry..." she confessed.
"I was hoping you would be."
Hermione reached into one of her jean pockets and withdrew something small into her hand. Upon resizing it with her wand, Surina saw that it was steaming hot cottage pie packed in tupperware, and a smile broke out on her face. She scooted into a sitting position and snatched the tupperware greedily from Hermione's hand.
"Almost forgot," Hermione commented, and a fork materialised from inside her hair, where she'd apparently been storing it along with her wand.
"Thanks, Mum," said Surina appreciatively as she dug into the food without any coaxing.
Hermione watched her daughter scarf down her meal, finding some relief in that behaviour. At least her daughter had maintained her appetite.
Still, she pondered as she looked over Surina carefully, she looks stressed.
"So..." Hermione cleared her throat and inched closer as Surina continued devouring her meal. "Care to share what's been on your mind, love?"
"It's..." Surina paused to swallow, appearing suddenly a touch paler than before. "It's complicated."
Hermione smirked. That sounded eerily similar to someone else she loved who didn't enjoy discussing his emotions.
"Try me," she encouraged gently, reaching out to cup a few black strands of hair behind Surina's ear.
Surina's dark eyes seemingly pondered how to open up, or where to begin. She swallowed her food slower and darted her attention back and forth between her delicious meal and her abnormally fidgety hands.
"Surina, whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?"
Surina peered into her mother's face, her own more troubled-appearing than usual. "Yes..." she muttered not too convincingly, causing Hermione's concerned frown to deepen.
"Sweetie, what is it? Perhaps if you get it out really fast you'll feel better?"
Surina tried not to project a derisive scowl. She understood that her mother was simply trying to help, but there could be no 'feeling better' at once following what she was about to disclose. Why was she nervous?
Why is this so difficult?
You know why, her conscience answered back.
"Mum..." she started to say; Hermione wasn't sure if her daughter was on the verge of tears or fleeing from the room, but, in either case, her behaviour was most disconcerting. "How... How did you know your feelings for Dad were...were genuine?"
Hermione angled her head sideways, giving Surina a considerate gaze. "How did I know I was in love with your father?"
Surina nodded. A tender smile spread across Hermione's bright cheeks.
"Love is sometimes hard to explain, Surina. It can be a number of things that makes you realise you're in love with someone. It can be the nervous fluttering in your stomach whenever they draw near; or the way your heart beats faster when they enter a room; or the way your whole body aches for them when they're not around—"
"All right, spare me those sorts of details, Mum, please?"
Hermione chuckled at Surina's thoroughly displeased and uncomfortable expression. She leaned into her daughter and wrapped a warm arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.
"Fair enough," she whispered, studying Surina with care. "Is there someone you think you might be falling for?"
At that, Surina jolted. This was getting too close for comfort, and, for once, that very thought showed itself clear across her uneasy features. She shifted on top of her comforter, placing her mostly consumed cottage pie aside to hug her knees to her chest instead.
"Not necessarily... I mean... I'm not interested in someone in particular. I just..."
Hermione moved in excitedly. "Come now. Who's the lucky guy?" she pressed Surina for an answer, but the acute, almost accusatory frown her daughter gave her in the next moment diminished her eagerness for more details.
"There's not anyone, Mum, and even if there was, I wouldn't be interested in..." Surina abruptly cut herself off.
As her silence wore on, Hermione came to a grave understanding that, upon realisation, clenched her heart in two, particularly as Surina was no longer looking her in the eyes but staring determinedly at her bare feet, her cheeks flushed red. She was curled into herself, too, long, raven locks draped forward to mask much of her handsome face. It was so startlingly like Severus, and so undoubtedly something he would do when in the midst of emotional turmoil, that Hermione momentarily forgot to breathe. She drew Surina as close to her as possible, though the child refused to meet her mother's gaze or lean into her for comfort, and brushed her tresses away from her face so that she could better see Surina's profile.
"Oh, sweetie," Hermione spoke softly; she inclined forward to adamantly kiss the top of Surina's head and felt the girl give a slight shudder under the weight of what she'd been keeping to herself. "There's nothing at all to feel badly about... I hope you don't think that I... That we'd ever..."
"I don't," Surina mumbled into her drawn up knees; the lack of emotion in her voice tore at Hermione's gut.
"Surina, we're your family."
Much to Hermione's dismay, Surina only clung tighter to her legs. "I know."
"Then why would you think we'd feel any differently about you?"
Surina didn't answer her but shrugged and cast her hair forward again, much like a curtain intended to shut Hermione out. It didn't stop Hermione from trying to reach her daughter, however, and she hugged Surina firmly around the shoulder, desperate to reach her.
"Sweetie, we love you. We'd never, ever feel otherwise."
"Even if I'm not like you...or Dad...or Lily?" Surina uttered so faintly that her voice could barely be heard.
Hermione reached out with her free hand to grab onto Surina's opposite shoulder. She shook her gently to get her daughter to look her in the eyes, refusing to speak until Surina made eye contact. Eventually, Surina's pale countenance came out of hiding, and there were actual tears streaking down her face as Hermione had rarely seen. Her second eldest child wasn't a crier or prone to wearing her emotions on her sleeve, but, today, she was displaying her torment openly, and the proof of her suffering broke Hermione's heart.
"You've carried this unnecessary burden for far too long, sweetie..." Without hesitation, Hermione pressed another sweet kiss to Surina's wet cheek, compacting as much motherly love and affection as she could give her in a single kiss. "What you're experiencing right now is entirely normal, but you should know that your family will support you one hundred percent."
"Re - Really?"
The uncertainty Surina showed crushed Hermione further, but she tried not to fall apart. "Really," she emphasised, her lower lip starting to quiver. "It hurts me that you would ever believe your father and I could think anything less of you simply for... For your preferences in life."
"I... I didn't want to - to believe you might but..."
"Then tell me now, Surina," Hermione encouraged her daughter by taking her by the chin, thereby forcing Surina to meet her consoling gaze.
Surina sniffed and fumbled with getting the words out that needed to be said. She knew, like her mother, that there would be no peace for her if she didn't share what was in her heart, though. Not this time. The confession was hushed but honest when it finally came.
"Mum, I... I'm gay." At Hermione's quiet nod of consolation, she continued in a choked whisper, "I - I've known it for a while, I think, I just... I guess I just didn't want to face it because it would mean that I was different from the rest of you, and I... I didn't want to feel like..."
Hermione craned her neck closer to Surina, wishing for her to keep going, though the words pained her to say. "Like you didn't belong?" she quietly finished, feeling so deeply for her daughter in that moment that she thought she might crumble.
Surina slowly nodded, another tear escaping her forlorn eyes. Hermione remembered that awful, gut-wrenching look: it belonged to her husband when he'd, at one time, anticipated her rejection. She earnestly pecked her daughter's cheek a second time.
"And, now? How do you feel?"
"I... I guess it's all right."
"It is all right, Surina."
Surina nodded again, but the troubled frown lining her mouth didn't match her bow of agreement a moment ago. Hermione wiped at her daughter's tears with her thumbs, gathering Surina's face affectionately between her palms.
"Surina, listen to me: I'm so proud of you." Alas, Surina's brow furrowed and her dark eyes skeptically searched Hermione's, seeking any truth to the contrary to what she was saying, so Hermione tugged their faces closer to one another. "I am. I'm prouder of you than I could ever possibly express."
"Mum—"
"I mean it." In silence, Hermione shook her head and touched Surina's nose to hers. "And I think no less of you now that you've told a truth about yourself than I did minutes ago. In fact, I love you more for sharing this with me. Thank you."
"Mum!" Surina moaned with a humiliated cringe; she tried to pull away from her mother's grasp, but her attempt was unsuccessful.
"I mean it, Surina." In the next moment that mother's and daughter's eyes met, Surina's turned reflective and open, even a touch hopeful. "I'm so, so proud of you. Thank you for being you. I love you so very much."
At last, Surina could no longer withhold her emotions. She succumbed to what she'd kept buried inside for months.
When Hermione wrapped her daughter up in an alleviating hug—one long sought after but, to her heartache, unable to be accepted by Surina until now—Surina buried her face in her mother's blouse and let herself cry, albeit softly, her expression strained but relieved. She clasped onto the back of Hermione's shirt, twisting and scrunching at the fabric, refusing to let go, and Hermione didn't encourage her to. She felt Surina's shoulders tremble against her embrace, and she hugged her tighter, gutted by her daughter's silent pain.
"Oh, Surina," she issued with longing, turning her face inward to peck Surina's head, "we love you. Don't ever think that that would be in question."
"I know, I know," Surina stifled into Hermione's shoulder. "It's just..."
"Sweetie, listen, your father and I don't think being gay makes you any more different than us being straight. It's a preference, love; it doesn't define who you are. What does define is the kind of person you choose to be."
Surina finally reared back and took a moment to wipe her nose on her sleeve. Her face was red and splotchy and so unlike her normally composed self that it ripped at Hermione's heartstrings.
"You - You don't think it makes a difference?" she questioned Hermione, obviously second-guessing her mother's acceptance.
Hermione firmly shook her head. "No, sweetie, it makes no difference. Not to your family, anyway, and it shouldn't to any of those who matter to you, either, or count you as their friend."
Surina hunched her shoulders, her body coiling in on itself again. "I... I haven't told anyone..."
"That's entirely up to you when and to whom you wish to share that with." She extended a hand to stroke a piece of Surina's straight hair between her fingers. "And, I'll help you if you want. I'm here for you, Surina. We all are. You're not alone, all right?"
Surina didn't respond, though her watery eyes did liven a little, much to Hermione's inner relief. She sniffed a couple more times and re-hugged her knees to her chest.
"Thank you, Mum..."
"There's no reason to thank me, sweetie." Hermione let go of Surina's hair and, instead, tenderly cupped her cheek again. "You're my daughter. I accept you for who you are, and so will your father and your sisters."
Surina's pupils widened for a second before resuming their normal shape. "But, I - I'm not sure—"
"Don't you want them to know, too, love?"
"Well, sure I do, but..."
Hermione offered Surina a soothing, near playful smile this time. "We'll tell your father only, how about that? You can inform your sisters whenever you feel the time's right."
"You don't think Dad will be...?"
"What, upset?"
"No..." Surina made a profound, pained sort of frown. "Disappointed."
Hermione quickly made not to buckle under the heavy emotional weight of such a heart-wrenching question, wanting to rise above it as much as possible. She forced a broader smile and teasingly pinched Surina's cheek.
"Are you kidding, Surina? Your father will be thrilled!"
At once, Surina scrunched up her nose in surprise. "Thrilled?"
"Yes, of course! Don't you understand? He'll be positively ecstatic to learn you have zero interest in pursuing the male species!"
Finally, Surina joined in on her mother's good humour. A small, wry smile slivered across her face.
"Yeah, that's true... I hadn't considered that."
"Well, you should have. He'll be so overjoyed he might burst into tears! How remarkable would that be?"
"I think you might be pushing it, Mum."
"You don't know that," Hermione insisted with a wink.
Surina snorted and turned away, her body, at last, relaxing on the bed. A tremendous burden had been lifted off her shoulders, and, though she'd become flustered and emotional in the process of revealing her secret, her mother was right: she felt better. Immensely.
Hermione rose from the bed and reached out a hand for her daughter to take. "Come," she murmured, smiling down at Surina with compassion. "Your father's been worried sick about you. We can tell him together."
Surina silently consented by taking her mother's hand and allowing Hermione to lead her away from the former refuge that had been her bedroom the past twenty-four hours. She realised as she treaded down the stairs, following closely at Hermione's back, that she hadn't needed to hide away from those who loved her most. Then again, perhaps she was simply more fortunate than some. Unlike the rest of the Wizarding world, her mother, at least, understood her. More surprisingly still, she had been far more empathetic towards Surina's revelation than she ever thought possible.
Must be a Gryffindor thing, Surina pondered with growing awareness—and appreciation—as she and Hermione descended the stairs to her father's laboratory. It's kind of a nice trait, actually.
A/N #2: More to this side of Surina will be explored in future prompts of my own to come...
