Chapter 38
After an awkward few moments, Ianto gently pushed his way past Gwen to get access to the computer. Tosh joined him offering her support and any assistance needed. Ianto pulled over a second swivel chair, letting Tosh take the first and then he logged on, impatiently pushing his long hair from his face and wincing as any contact with the damaged skin on his hand sent shocks of agony along his nerves. His back was also protesting as he sat down, the kick to his spine from Gray causing more than a little discomfort.
"Rhys, can you keep an eye on Captain Dickhead here while I go fetch my medical kit?" Owen had watched as Ianto's face betrayed the spasms of pain he was experiencing. He may be able to hide it from the less observant, but Owen wasn't so easily fooled. The accumulation of physical injuries and emotional traumas was taking its toll and while he couldn't do anything about the latter, he had medications for the former.
"No worries, Owen, be my pleasure." Rhys agreed readily, thankful for something useful to do. He took the stun gun from his pocket and held it at the ready, in case John Hart tried to escape. He was unimpressed when his prisoner melodramatically rolled his eyes. He didn't like John Hart, he was a cocky bastard, so full of himself that he managed to make Jack look modest in comparison.
Gwen looked across and gave Rhys an encouraging smile, it was then that Owen's request registered and it confused her. She frowned and pointed at John Hart, while glaring at Owen. "Hang on a minute, you're not thinking of treating his injuries are you?"
"No, of course not. However, Ianto does need medical care, no matter what he says." Owen raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly in the direction of Ianto's bloodied shirt, surprised that Gwen hadn't noticed it already.
"What happened?" Gwen asked, ashamed that she'd been so focused on Jack and Gray that she hadn't even considered the fact that the blood on Ianto's shirt was actually his own.
"Gray." Owen said, feeling that he didn't need to provide any further details. Apart from anything else he needed to hurry up and gather what he'd need to treat yet more damage sustained by Ianto. He really did need to stop acting like he was disposable.
Gwen bit her tongue as she watched Owen turn his back on her. It wasn't the time to demand more answers, but she desperately wanted to know what the hell had happened down in the room known as BM4TM-10. What she'd found out so far was that Gray was dead. Ianto would've killed him, but John shot first. Jack had teleported with his brother's body to an unknown destination. And now she also knew that Ianto had been wounded by Gray badly enough to have bled all over his shirt. As for Owen, she'd caught sight of his hand before he'd tucked it into his pocket, out of view. She could have sworn it was sliced open.
All this violence inflicted because of a perceived wrong committed in childhood. Gwen shuddered, she'd seen enough juvenile offenders in the course of her police training, so the circumstances weren't new to her, although she'd never been directly affected by the aftermath before. Her train of thought was derailed as Tosh leaned back and tapped her arm, drawing her attention to their efforts to locate Jack.
"OK – it's running now, let's see what we've got." Ianto sat back so that both Tosh and Gwen could see the screen. "Starting from the highest levels working down… nothing in Jack's office, on the upper walkways or in the main Hub. Hang on, make that one lukewarm signal drifting across the area, that'll be Myfanwy. Nothing in the autopsy bay, even if Owen was there, he's operating at room temperature these days. Next level – five signals in the archives – just the four of us and Hart. Then in the vaults, those would be the weevils, evenly spaced out in their cells, thank goodness they're still in there. Got it – one stationary thermal signature, slightly brighter than ours, that has to be Jack." Ianto didn't realise how closely he was emulating Jack's earlier gesture as he reached out and touched the screen with his fingertips as if comforting the other man. He wasn't sure how much closer he'd be able to get to him.
"That's the morgue," Tosh spoke softly, recognising the location instantly. "Pull up the security camera feed."
"That's good isn't it, team?" John Hart was quietly pleased that Jack was still around. "Sounds like he's accepted that Gray's dead, dealing with his body. Of course he might not hang about for long once he's done that…"
"I hate it when my subconscious agrees with you." Ianto sighed as John Hart put into words the possibility that worried him most. He stood up to release the tension in his back and walked across to where the other man was cuffed to a chair. He leaned against a filing cabinet, his uninjured hand resting on his denim clad hip. "While he's still got that wrist strap, there's nothing keeping him from doing a runner…again."
Tosh had surreptitiously taken over the keyboard from Ianto as he'd got up to speak to Hart. She located Jack easily enough with the cameras installed in the morgue and what she saw made her heart ache for him. She could see the light reflecting off the tears that ran down his face, the way he lovingly took care of his brother's mortal remains. One glance at Gwen showed the same reaction, and as both women looked over at Ianto, they agreed wordlessly that he didn't need to witness the pain the other man was going through, he was having a bad enough time of it already. Tosh pressed a combination of keys and then swore gently in Japanese.
"Problem, Tosh?" Ianto swung round, concerned at the exclamation he'd heard.
"Internal surveillance system has crashed again – not getting any visuals." Tosh shrugged. "But the thermal imaging shows he's still there, not moving."
"Right then, I'd better-"
"I want to see him," John announced. "Take me there. I need to talk to him."
"Oi you, shut up." Rhys prodded Hart in the back with the stun gun.
"Not a chance in a hell." Ianto shook his head vehemently. "You're not getting anywhere near him."
"Come on – last wish of a condemned man? I thought you were the honourable type, Ianto Jones. Look, I think I can get through to him and if he's so pissed off that he shoots the first person he sees, better it's me than one of you lot. Yes?"
"Why are you suddenly being so gallant?" Gwen demanded, not trusting Hart any further than she could throw him. "What the hell are you up to now?"
"I'll be completely honest with you – I want that wrist strap back and the chance to use it. He promised it to me, we had a deal, you heard him, Gwen! If he refuses to hand it over or shoots at me, I'll give up, you can lock me up and throw away the key."
"What makes you think he'll listen to you rather than any of us?" Tosh asked out of curiosity. She could almost hear the cogs grinding away in Hart's skull and wondered what he was planning next.
"He'd rather see me than you, sweetheart, because he doesn't feel like he's let me down. He won't be able to face any of his beloved team, you're the ones he's running away from." John Hart wondered if these people understood anything about their leader. "Chances are he'll let me get close enough just to get the chance at revenge for finishing off his psychotic sibling."
"I should be the one to take that risk," Ianto stated with finality.
"Don't be such a fucking moron." John gave Ianto a look that made it clear he really did think he'd lost the plot. "If he's still mad and shoots you, how do you think he'll feel afterwards? In the off chance that he's in two minds about whether or not to jump planets, that would be the decider. You want to send him spiralling into an abyss of madness and grief, go ahead and be my guest!"
"What the fuck are you on about?" Ianto loomed over John Hart, his hands clenching the arms of the chair he was cuffed to, eyes flashing dangerously. He didn't have time for Hart's games and was getting ever closer to gagging him.
"Bloody hell, I thought you were more intelligent than that… mind you, considering who you're in a relationship with, you can't be all that clever. He loves you, and no matter what you've done or would've done, he'll forgive you. But if he kills or maims you he won't be able to forgive himself, ever – understand that?" John Hart put every ounce of sincerity he could muster into his plea. He needed Ianto to understand exactly what he was saying. "Now, let me talk to him. You can hang around outside with the biggest fucking gun you have if it makes you feel better and if you don't like what I do or say, you can pull the trigger. Come on now, that's an offer even I couldn't refuse."
Against his better instincts and after a row with Gwen and then a shouting session with Owen, Ianto finally allowed Hart to have his chance. If it got him killed, it was his own lookout and they had thoroughly searched him first – well Owen had, wearing latex gloves and cursing Ianto for pointing out that he was the medic amongst them.
Having found no weapons or other concealed devices on or in John Hart, Ianto accompanied him to the morgue. Gwen had kept watch on the heat signals from the morgue and reported that Jack hadn't moved for the last twenty minutes. In that time, Owen had quickly cleaned the cut on Ianto's chest and dressed the sores on his hand, having made it clear that Ianto would be the one cuffed to a chair in the archives if he refused medical treatment. Tosh had also been kind enough to fetch him a clean shirt from his locker. He really didn't want Jack to notice the injuries before he'd had the opportunity to talk to him.
Walking slowly across the walkway into the morgue area, John Hart could feel Ianto's eyes boring holes in his back. He could imagine Ianto setting the sights on the rifle he'd insisted on bringing along with him; his head was probably already neatly bisected by the electronic crosshairs.
Jack was sitting on the floor, his back to the mortuary drawers, cradling a bundle of blood stained clothes on his lap. He didn't seem surprised to see John approach him and wasn't going for his gun straightaway, which was always a good sign.
"My whole life I was looking for him," said Jack mournfully. "Now I have to lose him all over again."
"There weren't many other options you know. What else could you have done"
"I could have put him in cryo-storage after I knocked him out with the weevil spray, he wouldn't have known a thing -"
"And what? Defrosted him every few years to see if he wasn't bad any more? 'Cos that makes loads of sense. Maybe killing him was the release he needed. He got close to wiping out your entire team, your friends… would've taken out a lot more if he'd detonated those bombs."
"One death's more than enough." Jack shut his eyes, recalling how close Gray had actually got to taking each one of his team away from him. Tosh's gunshot wound. Owen's encounter with the Hoix. Ianto and Gwen's fight for survival in the Iron Age. Even the explosions in the old factory building could so easily have killed them all.
"It's not your fault." John got that in before Jack started on yet again about his culpability.
"Why did you do it?" Jack looked over his shoulder at the drawer behind which his brother lay resting peacefully at last.
"To save Eye Candy from doing it for you." John sat down on the floor, a respectful distance from Jack, his back to the wall, looking towards the dark recesses at the far end of the open area. He hoped Ianto would hear what he was saying, he wanted him to know that he'd seen through his noble plan to save Jack's soul.
"For me?" Jack was confused.
"Gray was beyond dangerous. Like a rabid dog he had to be put down. You couldn't have done it without it destroying you. Eye Candy figured that out, that's why he took him on alone. Stupid bastard, he must really have it bad for you if he'd rather suffer your hatred than have you despise yourself for eternity. Because that's what it would've been, wouldn't it? Forever, 'cos you can't die."
John stopped talking to give Jack time to take in what he'd said. Glancing sideways he could see him wiping his hand over his face, looking bewildered and shocked. He could tell that it hadn't occurred to Jack that Ianto would be prepared to make that sort of sacrifice for him. Bloody idiot.
"That explains why Ianto was going to do it – doesn't explain why you did it instead." Jack's voice sounded shaky as he turned to John seeking an answer.
"You two deserve each other – you can both be so fucking thick when it comes to something so bloody simple!" John was shouting at Jack, unable to keep a lid on his frustration any longer. "I told you yesterday that I loved you and you didn't believe me then and you still don't. You're an annoying bastard, but I can't get you out of my head. Somewhere down the line from shagging each other senseless, I actually started caring about you. Then when you left, I bloody missed you. That's not me – not the way I work, but you got to me. I thought finding Gray would be a way to get you back … and as soon as I found out his original plan to bury you in the past I worked out a way to sabotage it –"
"But you let him take Ianto and Gwen." Jack shook his head in bitter recollection of the danger they'd been placed in.
"And I helped you get them back!" John countered quickly.
"You let Gray out of his cell – what the hell made you do that?"
"I told you before – you humiliated me, that's why I turned him loose. You know me, short fuse … I'm sorry I did that, but you really, really shouldn't piss me off. But if I hadn't, what were you going to do with him? Keep him locked up like one of those pet bite-y weevil things? You may hate me for what I did, but it had to be done and you'd never have been able to do it. I did it for the same reason Eye Candy was going to – because I love you, you self centred prick."
John Hart shut his eyes and bashed his head against the wooden drawer behind him. He sat there in silence waiting for Jack's reaction.
"You know what? Maybe I do believe you now." Jack sniffed as he undid the buckle on one of the two wrist straps he wore. "I said I'd give you this if you helped us."
Standing up abruptly, he handed the strap over to John and then put his hands in his pockets, signifying that he wouldn't take it back. He didn't want the temptation of using it; he had responsibilities and people here who depended on him. This whole mess had come about because he'd let one person down when he'd had no control over the situation. Now was time to make amends for that.
"You were anxious to get the hell out of here – any idea where you're heading?" Jack asked as he watched John slowly stand up.
"Lot of this planet I haven't seen. You like it so much, thought I might take a look. Maybe see you around."
As John fastened the leather strap firmly about his own wrist, he looked up in time to see Jack begin to walk past him. He held out a hand to Jack's chest stopping him in his tracks. Moving in for a farewell kiss, thinking he'd earned it, John was dismayed as Jack turned his head making sure their lips didn't meet.
Taking his hand from Jack's chest and stepping away, John cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
With that he walked away, leaving Jack alone. He didn't see him leaning on the wall of mortuary compartments, his head wearily resting on arms pressed against the drawers of those he'd outlived.
As John drew close to Ianto, he saw the younger man lower his rifle and look him directly in the eye. It was up to him now and John really hoped that he'd manage to give Jack some measure of happiness and keep the loneliness at bay.
"Thank you." Ianto's voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper.
"Don't make me regret this, Eye Candy. I might pop by in the future see how things are going."
"Take care out there. Try not to make too many enemies."
John Hart grinned as he pressed a combination of buttons on the wrist strap and vanished – like the Cheshire cat it seemed to Ianto that his grin was the last part of him to disappear.
"Has he gone?" Jack's voice was quiet, yet strong.
"Yep." Ianto smiled sadly, of course Jack had known he was there the whole time.
"We need to talk. Send the others home and I'll see you in my office in… say twenty minutes?"
"Yes, sir." Biting his lower lip, Ianto knew a dismissal when he heard one, so he turned to leave Jack alone with his grief.
"And Ianto – you never did get your coffee this morning – could you make some fresh and bring me a cup? Please."
"Yes… yes, of course."
Ianto had tears in his eyes as he closed the door behind him, but he was smiling. All was not lost, Jack hadn't left, he wanted to talk and he'd asked for coffee. There was hope and an outside chance that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't an approaching train.