Ever After

by Miss Nihilist

The job will be nearly impossible. Karkat - as skilled an assassin as he may be - has never been given such a high risk target. But the pay makes him accept. He will kill the heir to the Dersite throne. It should've been straightforward and emotionless. But when he meets a boy on the street and gets attached, he begins to wonder if the risk is worth it when all he needs is Dave.

38. Epilogue: Forever Is A Long Time

"Go ahead and move your arm for me." Terezi says calmly, putting a hand on your shoulder. She isn't looking at you, but she doesn't need to.

You do ask she says, flexing your arm. Well, you try to, anyway. It doesn't go very well. Your arm gives a faint twitch forward, and then falls back at your side. Terezi keeps telling you to be patient with yourself, but you find these sessions with her to be fairly pointless. What does it matter if you can't move this arm? You'll just start writing with your left hand instead - it isn't a big deal, though you can't say that you're looking forward to the hard learning curve.

You sigh, and stand up, giving Terezi a smile. "Thanks anyway, Terezi, but it's been almost a year. I don't think I'm going to be getting the arm back." You can't move it any more than you could the day after the injury, or the day after that, or the next week, and so on. It doesn't bother you as much as you thought it would.

Terezi presses her lips into a thin line and gives a defeated sigh. "Fair enough." She concedes. "I'm tired of wasting my time, too, Dave. Oh, I mean, your majesty." She rolls her eyes, but the smirk on her face just makes you smile at the mocking tone. You've told her countless times that she doesn't have to use your title just because she works for you, but she still likes to tease you with it. "Anyway, we both know where you really want to be right now." She shoots you a knowing smile. "So get to it. He's not known for being patient, Dave."

You chuckle. "Oh, don't I know it." You sigh fondly, waving to Terezi with your working arm as you turn and hurry out of the room. Your bedchambers are three floors above, and while it's technically improper for you to share the room with someone you aren't married to, you and Karkat are as good as wedded already. And no one is stupid enough to try and tell you that you shouldn't share a bed with him.

Things have changed around your castle since the coronation. For one, you changed the law that outlawed same-sex marriage. You'd like to say that it was just to undo the stupid things your dad did while he was paranoid and emotional, but it's really just so that you can marry Karkat without people bitching about it. They'll probably still complain. Royal heirs are an issue, but you have a deal worked out with Rose to help with that. While having a child with your sister wasn't ever something you wanted to do, the way she wants to do it ensures that you never have to see her showing any more skin than normal. At least your kid will undeniably be royalty and, more importantly, yours.

You had more windows installed, so the whole castle is much brighter and more open than it ever was when you were a child. It wasn't like it was difficult to do, either. You basically get to do whatever you want. Your staff, as well as your subjects, worship you and Rose like gods, with an unhealthy mixture of fear and awe. You aren't sure if it's a good or bad thing yet, but after all the death and mystery surrounding your rise to the throne, and Rose's reappearance, no one is quite sure what to do with you. So they simply crowned you king and let Rose have her old room back. No one has yet tried to talk to Rose about arranging a marriage with a neighboring country, and you think it's best that things stay like that. She's still working up the nerve to hold Kanaya's hand, and you know that she would find it particularly annoying if she had to duck another marriage.

"Karkat?" You call, stepping into your chambers and closing the door behind you. "Are you in here?"

There's a grunt of recognition from the direction of the bathroom, and you follow the noise. Of course, you should have expected this. You roll your eyes playfully, crossing your arms and looking down at Karkat with an amused expression. He's all but submerged himself in your bathtub, steam rolling off the heated water in waves.

He peeks an eye open to look at you, and brings up a hand to wave in acknowledgment before he slips it under the water again. Even after months of this, he never seems to get tired of your bathtub. You would be angry, but you find it hard to be angry with him. Especially when he looks so peaceful. Normally, Karkat only looks like that when he's sleeping. You wish that he was at ease more often.

You walk around the edge of the tub - easily three times as big as your bed - and stand next to where his head is. "How's the water?" You ask, crouching down to be at his level.

Karkat pushes himself up a little to get his ears out of the water, and glares at you half-heartedly. "Dave, you know for a fact that I can't hear you when I'm under the water. Is it really that hard to get my attention before you start talking?"

For all his griping, you know that Karkat adores you. It's all in his eyes and the way he fights not to smile through every exhaustive rant. "It's not important." You smirk. "Don't worry about it." You lean down just a few more inches and press your lips to his. He's always warm when he's in the bath, even if his mouth is too slick, and feels a little pruney. If he can tolerate your cold feet when you cuddle, then you can tolerate his lips when he's been in the tub for hours.

You jolt as you're suddenly tugged forward, opening your mouth to shout in surprise, only to get a mouthful of bath water instead. You spit it up and gag, glaring playfully at your chuckling boyfriend as you sit up.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, is it?" You hold up your dripping robes. Though you're wearing priceless silk right now, and the bathwater is ruining it, all you can think about is how to get even with Karkat.

You tackle him, cutting off Karkat's laughter as you push him under the surface of the water. You bend over, ducking into the water as well, and press your lips to his again. Karkat doesn't have much air, and kissing underwater is more awkward than romantic, but he doesn't seem to mind, kissing you back as he gradually sits himself up. You put an arm around his neck, the broken one dangling at your side, and you press up against his torso. Karkat is always warm, but you can feel steam covering his skin, and it almost makes you want to fall asleep in his arms.

And, you would, if you didn't have something to be doing.

With a sigh, you pull back from Karkat's hold. He chases after you for a moment, but seems to realize that you're trying to get out, and you're not just teasing him. He lets you go with a huff. "Come on, we need to dry off." You shrug out of your dripping robes as you stand, leaving the heavier materials on the ground, so you can get the towels from the other side of the room without dripping too much water everywhere. Karkat gives you a small, challenging glare, and you raise an eyebrow. "Hey, I don't like it either, but we've been planning this for months with Feferi. We can always get into another bath after if you really want to."

Karkat shakes his head, standing up and bending over to drain the bathtub. "No, it's alright. I don't really have a rush to spend every waking moment with you, Dave. Especially when your sleeping moments are so much more endearing." He takes a towel from you, wrapping it around his head and patting his hair dry, instead of wrapping it around his waist. You suspect that he does this specifically because he knows how difficult it is for you to keep your eyes above his chin when he undresses (you aren't sure what's more filthy - your abnormal attraction to his "lower reign," or his complete willingness to exploit it). Maybe his time with the Condesce gave him a sadistic streak.

You fix your eyes to his stubbornly, and nod in agreement. "I think you're adorable when you're sleeping, you know. You actually look like you're relaxed, instead of wound up like a coil." You put your arms around his neck (you have to manually lift your broken one in order to do this), and kiss the corner of his mouth gently. "I'd help you relax while you're awake if I knew how."

He shifts in your arms and loosely puts his arms around your waist. "It's… a work in progress, Dave." Karkat sighs. He nudges your forehead against his, and closes his eyes. "If it helps… I'm about as relaxed as I can be when you're around."

You manage a smile, leaning in to peck your boyfriend on the lips gently. "C'mon," you say softly, "let's get dressed so we can head downstairs, alright?"

It took some time to wear him down in the beginning, but now Karkat is more than happy to wear the clothes that you practically bury him in. It is hard to argue with imported silk, after all. The palace staff loves designing clothes for him, probably because he's so small, and looks so good in everything. At least, you think that he does. The staff doesn't argue with whatever he wants to wear, likely because Karkat doesn't have any real authority, and also that he enjoys whatever they clothe him with. He doesn't seem to have a single complaint when it comes to clothes, mostly letting the staff adjust and tweak as they please, and complimenting whatever the result is.

This is because Karkat has no sense of style. At all. And it might also be because he's secretly a big softie underneath that "assassin" exterior he likes to put up. You know him better than that, though, and he's smart enough to know better than trying those lies on you. They never work.

You show Karkat how to use his towel properly, and let him muffle laughter while he dries off. In the meantime, you need to dress for a wedding. As a king, you have the authority to marry two people, but even if you didn't, you wouldn't miss this for anything. It's for a good friend, after all.

Luckily, you just so happen to have robes specifically designed for a wedding. Today's wedding, as a matter of fact! Oh, what a coincidence. You strip off your soggy clothes and pat yourself dry, grabbing the gleaming white and gold robes from where they're hanging off of your cabinet. They are a very fine material - you like the way it feels when you rub it between your fingers. It's almost as weightless as air.

You slip it on, tying and buckling and pinning everything you need to look put together. This is difficult with only one hand, but you've got it mostly figured out after a year of having to deal with it. At the last second, you decide to forgo the shades, setting them aside. The red doesn't go very well with the gold trim, but what does it matter? If you're going to watch two of your friends get married, you want to at least be able to actually see it.

"Dave?" Karkat speaks up, and you turn away from your mirror to look at him. "Can you, um- help me with this…?" His face turns a faint shade of red as he blushes, not looking at you. You don't need to ask what he needs help with - it's kind of obvious. His robes are white, like yours, but they're much more rumpled, hanging off of his frame awkwardly. The neat bows look more like triple-knots, and you're pretty sure that the beaten, old boots he's worn for as long as you've known him, don't go with the outfit very well.

You snort, laughing as you walk over to him. "Shut it." He snaps on reflex, but he sounds more flustered than actually angry, so you let it slide.

"Aww," you coo, untying his robes and fixing them so that they… well, are done properly, "you're so cute, Karkat. Like a helpless baby bird." This earns you a sharp glare, though Karkat's face turns to an intense, burning shade of red, so you can't really be sorry.

When you're finished, Karkat looks much more regal. The robes were on backward the whole time - a fact that you are careful to bring up as many times as you possibly can. Nonetheless, now things actually fit Karkat properly, clinging in all the right places. You toss your boyfriend a pair of fur boots to wear, which Karkat grumbles complaints about, though he eventually gives in and puts them on.

"And, the finishing touch." You open a small box, pulling out a thin, dainty tiara. It's made of real gold, with an ornate diamond in the middle, and tiny rubies circling it. You think that it suits Karkat, but he hates the damn thing.

"Dave-" he starts to protest as soon as he sees it, taking a step back. However, you have much longer legs than him, and a better argument.

You advance, approaching Karkat until he's pressed up against the wall. "It's a formal event." You mutter into his ear. "Please wear it? I promise I'll make it up to you once we get the room to ourselves tonight…"

Karkat shudders, biting his lip and looking into your eyes. You shift a little bit, pressing a knee between his thighs, and he gives the tiniest little sigh. "Fine." He snaps, trying to cover how flustered he is by pretending to be angry. He snatches the tiara from you, placing it on his head with muted curses about how stupid it is.

Of course, it's a tradition. The tiara is supposed to go to whoever the blood-ruler marries - regardless of gender. And you and Karkat may not be married, but he might as well get used to it whenever he can. You plan on going to a lot of social conventions with him. Not only to be as different from your dad as possible, but also to show off your (future) husband.

"Thank you." You kiss Karkat sweetly, and then pull back, going back over to your dresser. Your crown is there, too, and while you agree with Karkat that wearing them is stupid, you still pop open the box and slip it onto your head anyway. It's a formal event, after all. And besides, it's starting to grow on you. You… like what it represents.

"Think we're ready to head down?" You ask, turning back to Karkat. To your surprise, though, he's moved. He's standing in front of you, a red, thornless rose clasped in his hand. You know where he got it, obviously. You have a vase of red roses on your nightstand, and they look suspiciously ruffled. No, the reason you're surprised, is that you didn't hear him move. How the hell does he do that?

"One last thing…" Karkat doesn't have to get on tippy-toes, but it's still cute to watch him reach. He tucks the flower behind your ear, smiling a little. "It's a little… flowery, but I think it adds some color to your white and gold… everything."

That joke earns a little smile. Yes, pale and blond and decked out all in white, you can't imagine that you look very… colorful. You reach up to touch the little flower. "It's perfect." You put a hand on Karkat's waist, pulling him in to kiss him gently. A lot of times, you let your passions get the best of you. You can't count the number of hours you've lost to Karkat - be it sitting next to him, or treating him in bed.

This kiss, you make short. It doesn't need to be long and heart-pounding every single time for him to know that you love him. And with the look Karkat gives you as you pull away, you think that he understands, anyway.

You have to step back - otherwise, you could spend all day admiring him. There is a time and place for that, and usually, you chose to do it while he's sleeping. For some reason, telling Karkat that you love him and want to be together forever is a difficult thing to say to his face.

Instead, you purse your lips and loop your arm through his, tugging him to the bedroom door. "Shall we?" You ask quietly.

Karkat rolls his eyes. "Unfortunately." He replies with the faintest smirk.

Technically, the king's "wife" is supposed to sit with the audience, in the front row, while her husband is presiding over a ceremony. But you don't really care. And, luckily, neither does Feferi.

You swoosh down the spiral staircase, leading Karkat into the Great Hall. The doors leading to the outside are flung wide open, and people of every class and distinction are pouring in. This is also Feferi's choice - she wants everyone to be able to see her wedding, free of charge.

The Condesce has so much money that it isn't as though she's losing anything big. Actually, because it's impossible to tell how much of that money was stolen or legitimately earned, she's decided to use it only for good things. Her wedding, for example, or charity. She can use the money to build new houses, or even new places for jobs.

You find your way up front to the altar, Karkat following at your side. You like the warm feeling it gives you, to look over and be comforted by the sight of him there.

At the front of the room, Eridan shifts nervously, eyeing the sprawling entrance as he shifts in place. "Davve!" He looks relieved to see you. After everything that happened, you're glad that you got him to stop using your title when addressing you. Sure, it sometimes draws a few odd looks when you're out in public, but he's your friend. No fancy titles are needed. "Thank fuck. Havve you seen Feferi yet today? I knoww I'm not supposed to see her, but I wwant to make sure that evverythin' wwent wwell with the preparations. Howw's the banquet coming along? I tried to remind 'em that they can't use nutmeg because Feferi hates it, but they wwouldn't let me in! Can you believve it? They wwant it all to be a surprise! I threatened to havve all of 'em executed, but they insisted-" He runs a hand through his hair with an irritated huff, and you seize the opportunity to stop his rambling there.

"Feferi is fine." You reassure him. "Rose is with her, remember? She's going to be the maid of honor, and Kanaya has the rings. There's no way Feferi will get off-schedule with those two all over her. And trust my kitchens, would you? They never forget details." You smirk a little. Once, when you were four, you declared broccoli as an enemy of the prince, and the staff hasn't served you a dish including it since. They're thoughtful like that.

Quickly, you run over a checklist in your mind. All of the guests seem to be here… more or less. John and Jade are looking for a place to sit, and as if reading your mind, Karkat immediately untangles himself from you and goes to direct them to the front.

You like the way the crowd parts for him - even if he isn't a girl, the fact that you gave him the tiara to wear is practically a sign of engagement. He doesn't know that, but you want your advisors to. All of the talk about finding you a nice wife doesn't go unnoticed just because they stopped saying it to your face.

Terezi and Nepeta are already seated, and you wave to them. It's weird to see Terezi in a dress (albeit, a very simple one that cuts off at her knees), and Nepeta with her hair washed and braided neatly, but they both look nice. Definitely attractive, you would say, not that it does anything for you. Jade, of course, looks stunning. She's wearing one of her mom's old dresses - simple, but the green matches her eyes, and the smile on her face when she sees you is absolutely dazzling. Her hair is pinned up in a tight bun, as is the custom for ladies with long hair. You would have a hard time getting Vriska to wear that style, so it's a relief that she's on guard duty. You don't think she minds, though - it seems like Vriska is most at home in a station of power.

Karkat returns once John and Jade are in their reserved seats, putting a hand on your shoulder and kissing your cheek. "What do you think?" He asks quietly, so only you can hear. "Do you think the place is decorated nice enough?"

You raise an amused eyebrow.

Over a week, the Great Hall had been transformed. When the news of the wedding had been released, poets and songwriters had practically flooded your halls. Now, they line the walls, singing to anyone who will listen, and stopping nobles to go on for an hour about what a lovely pair Eridan and Feferi are. There are bunches of flowers hanging along the perimeter of the room, and grown out of season, no less. You aren't even sure what color they all are, but every single one is either fuchsia or violet. The wedding has something of an… obvious color pattern.

The pillars have been strung with thin strands of golden beads, making them appear to glitter when the light hits them just right. Feferi took a page out of her mother's book - the astronomically large chandelier hanging over your head has been covered in glittering jewels, giving the room a mythical feeling. The marble floor is so polished and clean that you can see your reflection in it. A sea of tables and chairs have been arranged for the guests off to the side, with a large, empty space in the middle, for the dancing later in the evening. Here, a large statue of Cupid was placed, and within the week, Jade and Kanaya had somehow convinced ivy to grow over it, which still baffles you.

The tables have alternating colors for their tablecloths - violet, fuchsia, white, violet, fuchsia, etc. A top each of them, there's a tall, narrow vase with a single white rose budding from it. Up next to you, a temporary stage was set in place for the bride and groom to exchange vows. The altar itself is made of gold and silver and the most expensive oak Eridan could cheat someone out of. You don't have the rings with you, but you know that they, too, are gold, both embroidered with a pure diamond.

You chuckle. "I think the setup is… satisfactory." You remark dryly.

Karkat laughs, a pure, ringing sound that makes you want to kiss him again. Come to think of it, you almost always want to kiss him. Maybe that's a sign? You should definitely kiss him. You lean in, planning to go for it, and immediately jerk back when you feel a hand on your shoulder.

"Davve," Eridan glares at you, "can you savve it for later? No offense, but I don't remember this being your wwedding."

Why are you friends with this guy, again?

You almost remind him that this isn't his castle, but luckily, Rose chooses that moment to come hurrying up to you. Kanaya is right on her heels, and you hope that the wedding planning helped them get closer together. Based on the looks on their faces though, romance is the last thing either of them is thinking about.

At least, when it comes to their romance.

"Feferi is ready." Rose announces, sounding out of breath from her run. "We have the lute players in position, and the choir is ready. Karkat, over here," she grabs Karkat by the shoulders, moving him around until he's where the best man should stand, "and I'll be here," she goes to stand opposite of him, "and Kanaya, you have the rings, don't you?"

Kanaya nods in confirmation, and your eyes are finally drawn to the box in her arms. She cracks it open, lifting it for you and Eridan to see. In it, two rings glitter brilliantly, and you relax at the sight of them.

"The wedding documents are here, too." You tell them, checking the small stack of papers on your alter. You also have a Bible, but that's more for show than anything. Feferi and Eridan want the actual ceremony to be short, so they can move quickly to celebrating their union. "Don't worry, Eridan. You and Feferi will be legally married within the hour."

He starts to say something - maybe to thank you, or start crying - but the sudden swelling of music cuts him off.

Hastily, everyone in the audience stills, taking a seat, and all attention goes to the doors of the Grand Hall. You quickly check that everything is in place, moving to stand behind the altar. You take a deep breath and relax. After ending a forceful, tyrannical takeover, speaking at a wedding is the easiest thing you'll ever have to do.

There are no flower girls or extensive lines of people leading Feferi down the aisle. She doesn't need any introduction, or anything standing between her and her fiancé.

Instead, the audience holds their breath, watching with awe as Feferi comes into view. Somehow, her hair seems even bigger than normal. It's been curled and teased, falling in tight rivets down her back. The curls are threaded through with strands of golden beads, catching the light in a way that makes her hair nearly pulsate. She's wearing a thin, white veil over her eyes, but the color seems drab next to her gleaming smile. Even her dress, with all of its pounds of silk, doesn't suffocate her - instead, it enhances her. A dress so large should, reasonably, completely swallow her physical being, but instead of getting caught up in all of the ruffles and folds and trim, all you see is Feferi.

The music strums gently in the background, swelling to a chorus when she reaches the stage, and cutting off completely when she stops and takes Eridan's hand.

Neither of them says anything, but they don't need to. Feferi is practically glowing, and Eridan is looking at her with such adoration in his eyes that it almost makes you gag. Mostly, though, it just makes you smile.

"I am beyond pleased to be here with everyone." You state in a clear voice. You don't have to make an effort to be loud - the Great Hall makes your voice boom, and everyone is so anxious to hear you speak that there isn't any need to wait for people to quiet down. "Today, we are celebrating the love of Feferi Peixes and Eridan Ampora, and their lovely union. They are both very important people to me, and I consider them close friends. I am so happy that they could experience feelings this strongly together."

You smile at them both, and Feferi giggles, blushing faintly under the veil. "The rings?" You gesture for Kanaya to step forward. Are you rushing things? Yes, and you're skipping more than a few traditions while you do it. But the funny thing is, you don't really give a damn.

Kanaya opens the small, wooden box containing the elegant rings, and holds it out for Eridan. He takes Feferi's ring, the slimmer, daintier one, and gently grasps her hand. You remember him telling you that he wants to say a few words during the ceremony, but rather than turning to address the audience, he slips the ring onto Feferi's ring finger and smiles. Their heads duck towards each other, and Eridan kisses her on the cheek, murmuring something in her ear that you can't quite make out. Whatever it is, he keeps it brief.

Feferi doesn't reply, but she doesn't need to. Her hand finds Eridan's ring, and she places it on his hand in return. Again, their foreheads meet, and she whispers something against his lips. You don't listen - something tells you that it's not your place to know what they're saying.

When she finally pulls back, you smile. "And now, I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Eridan doesn't need to be twice - he lifts Feferi's veil from her face, and their lips meet in a brief, sweet kiss. Passion isn't for the public eye - it's for two lovers, alone and silhouetted by the moonlight, shrouded in bed sheets.

The Great Hall rumbles with the applause, and Feferi is laughing as she signs her name off next to Eridan's on the official wedding document. Eridan even cheers himself, sweeping Feferi into his arms. You can't fathom how he gets his arms around that damn skirt, but you don't need to understand it. You clap for them - because they're your friends, and because they deserve this.

You start after everyone, towards the dance floor, and are stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You turn, and raise a questioning eyebrow at Karkat. "I know the first dance is for the bride and groom," he says quietly, "but I can have the second one, can't I?"

Somehow, your smile widens. "Of course." You turn to face Karkat fully, and you gently place your free hand on his hip and take hold. "Like you even need to ask. Who else would I even give it to?" You kiss him gently and feel him laugh a little against your lips. That shouldn't be attractive, but dammit, it has your heart beating faster and your stomach doing flips.

"Point taken." Karkat concedes. There's a gentle smile on his face, and it makes your chest tighten with warmth. His hands find their way around your neck, and he steps closer, pressing chest-to-chest. He doesn't say anything for a moment, merely staring at you. "I want a small wedding." He states suddenly. Then, his face colors, and he glances away. "I- I mean- just for, um, future reference."

You press your forehead to his, lovingly pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I'll keep that in mind." You say warmly. "But, we might have to wait for a little while." You gesture to something behind him, and Karkat turns to look.

Feferi and Eridan are dancing slowly, swaying to the lute music and quiet singing. It will get more upbeat later, so you aren't worried. The first couple to join them on the dance floor is Rose and Kanaya - your sister leading the nervous-looking girl out onto the cleared space. You can't hear them, but you see Rose's lips moving quickly. Kanaya merely looks confused, and starts to shake her head, only for Rose to scoff. The next moment, your twin has her arms around Kanaya's neck, and then their lips are pressed together.

Karkat smiles faintly, twisting back around to face you. "It's about time." He remarks. You watch them for a moment, see Kanaya relaxing into Rose's embrace and even grip your sister's hips, and then you nod.

Your gaze slides back over to the man in your arms, and you sigh fondly. "Yeah." You agree. "It's ridiculous how long we had to wait for that."

You get a scoff for that comment, but the effect is lost by Karkat's smile. He tugs you down, and your lips meet his perfectly. You almost want to go join the people dancing, but instead, you slowly start to turn, leading Karkat in a dance of your own. You don't need to be surrounded by people - not when all you need is here in your arms.

---

It's kind of… improper for a king to sit at the regular tables and take his shoes off and proceed to rub his feet (especially at a social function), but you really, really don't give a damn.

Your feet are aching, in part from all the dancing you did, as well as the stupidly uncomfortable shoes your expected to wear day-to-day. They're so small that they practically cut off blood circulation when you manage to squeeze your feet into them, and they pinch your toes horribly. You have a huge respect for anyone who can tolerate these. You would chuck them if you could, but instead, you silently apologize to your tender feet, and slip them back on.

The sound of heels clicking attracts your attention. You look up, expecting to see Rose, and blink when you recognize Feferi. "Is something wrong?" You ask, frowning. There's a gentle smile on her face, but you hadn't expected Eridan to let her out of his sight anytime soon. You look for him, but Feferi shakes her head, sitting down in the chair next to yours.

"He's had a bit much to drink, so I decided to take a break from dancing." She smiles good-naturedly. "The shoes hurt my feet enough already - I don't really need Eridan stepping on my toes on top of that."

You nod with a sympathetic grimace. "How do you like the party?" You ask after a pause in the conversation. "I did my best to make sure that it looked how you described, but I couldn't get it perfect. We didn't have enough diamonds to spare to decorate the floor."

Feferi flicks her wrist dismissively. "Oh, nevermind all of that! Eridan was the one who wanted it to be perfect. And he's probably going to write you a list of improvements that could have been made, but you can just chuck it. I think the wedding was gorgeous." She leans over and kisses you on the cheek gently. "Thank you for letting us have it here. Mom's castle… doesn't feel right anymore."

Again, you nod. You don't quite understand what it must feel like to have your mom become an evil dictator and attempt to slaughter you, but all Feferi needs is sympathy. Your comments aren't needed.

"I might rebuild it." Feferi remarks, looking away. "Something smaller, maybe? Something with fewer dungeons. There are a couple… changes I want to make." And then, to your complete surprise, Feferi places a hand on her stomach.

Your eyebrows shoot up. "Feferi, are you-?" You go to ask if she's pregnant, but stop yourself. You don't want to assume, but the smile she gives you tells you all that you need to know. You swallow thickly. "How long have you known?"

She shrugs, trying to wave it off as nothing to worry about. "Almost a month now." She murmurs. "The dresses were already so big that Eridan hardly noticed when I started wearing even frillier ones. Don't tell him, please? I'm still working out the best way to do it, and I want him to hear it from me."

You nod immediately. "Of course!" You promise. "What sort of names are you considering?"

Try as she might to hide it, you think that Feferi must have been dying to talk to someone about this, because she answers immediately. "For a girl, I was thinking Marina? And for a boy, maybe Piries… I'm not sure. I know Eridan is going to have more than a few ideas." Suddenly, her eyes light up. "Oh, what if I named him Sollux?" She places both hands over her stomach, fondness in her expression.

It's a nice gesture, but you still purse your lips. "I- I don't know…" You say carefully. "How do you think Eridan would feel about you naming his baby after your… Sollux?" You finish awkwardly.

Feferi bites her lip, thinking it over for a moment. "I'll talk to him about it." She exhales shakily. "I guess it is a little weird to name your son after the man you love… The baby won't look anything like Sollux, anyway."

Your frown deepens. "Wait, I thought that Eridan was…? Why did you agree to marry him if you don't love him?" No one was pressuring Feferi into it - nobles don't have as much of a push for an aristocratic husband as royalty does. And Eridan has told you the story so many times over that you can practically recite it from memory. He asked her to marry him, and she almost immediately said yes. So, what could be the motive, if she's still in love with Sollux?

She doesn't reply for a moment, glancing away. A strand of hair is wound around her finger, and she bites her lip anxiously as she plays with it. After a moment, she sighs. "Of course I do. You don't just stop loving someone because they die. As for Eridan, though…" Feferi shifts in her seat, twisting her strand of hair so tightly that you can see her finger going red at the tip beneath it, "well, I said yes because I knew I was pregnant." She grimaces a little. "And, it's not like I don't love Eridan. I do-! Mostly as a… little brother, though." Seeing the look on your face, Feferi sighs. "I know it isn't… right to lie to him like this, Dave, but it makes him so happy! He makes me happy, too. I'm not miserable with him. I just… think I'll always see him as the kid I grew up with. Like a brother."

You bite the inside of your cheek, quiet as you think this through. On the one hand, you know that this is only going to hurt them both in the long run. But on the other… you saw how jovial Eridan was to be with her. You can't tell him this - he probably wouldn't believe it coming from you, anyway.

"I won't tell him." You say finally. It isn't an easy thing to admit, but you aren't going to ruin their wedding. If Feferi really is happy, being married to him, starting a family… then maybe the truth behind who-loves-who isn't very important.

Feferi squeals, throwing herself at you. Instantly, you're being crushed by her tight hug and suffocated by pounds and pounds of her skirt. Somehow, you manage to navigate your way around all the fabric to hug her back. "Thank you, Dave!" She beams at you. "I know it's unfair of me to dump all of this on you, but I'm so lucky to have a friend as understanding as you!" She kisses you on the cheek, and the next moment, you can breathe properly again. Feferi stands and rises to her full height, tucking the loose strand of hair behind her ear now that she's finished messing with it. "I'm going to go find Eridan. We have to- "consummate our union," after all." She giggles, punctuating this with a wink as she turns her back to you and walks off.

You don't reply, merely staring after her with bewilderment. It's safe to say that you will never understand girls. You barely understand guys. And speaking of guys you don't understand…

A hand comes down to rest on your shoulder, and you reach up, taking it in yours and giving a gentle squeeze. "Hey." You mumble, turning your head so you can plant a kiss on Karkat's wrist. "How's the dancing?"

Karkat sighs. "Tiring." He takes a seat in the chair Feferi just left, moving it closer to rest his head on your right shoulder. "How is the "princely" socializing?"

You snort. "Sure, we can pretend that I do anything like that." You smile when your reply makes Karkat laugh, and you tilt your chin down to kiss him sweetly. After a moment, you pull back, looking him in the eye. "So, theoretically speaking, if I was going to ask you to marry me…?" You begin slowly.

"Right now?" Karkat raises an eyebrow, amused. "I would say no if you asked me right now. I refuse to share something as special as an engagement with Eridan." He kisses you on the cheek. "But if you ask tomorrow, I can't think of any reason to say no."

He moves as though to stand up, and you roll your eyes, looping your good arm around his waist and tugging him down onto your lap. This position is horribly improper, but looking around, you don't think that anyone notices. And if they do, who cares? It's a wedding, not a funeral.

You tuck your face against his neck, nuzzling your boyfriend and planting a kiss on the column of his throat. Karkat shivers, putting a hand on your chest, and gives you a little nudge back. "Not in public." He mumbles. You nod and move up to kiss him properly instead. Your lips meet tenderly, and he lets out an audible sigh against your lips.

"You do want to marry me, don't you?" You breathe. Your hand drifts up, stroking the line of his jaw and tracing down Karkat's neck. You find it impossible to keep your hands off of him.

"Mm…" Karkat hums, tilting his head back ever-so-slightly. "Of course I do. If I didn't, I would have cut your hand off for touching my waist." You can feel his sickle, sheathed beneath his robes and digging into your stomach where your bodies meet. You believe him.

You shift so you can put Karkat back in the chair, carefully setting him down. You aren't happy about it, but he's right - you do have to be careful about what you do in public. You reach over to take his hand, giving a squeeze and letting it linger between the two of you. "I'll ask tomorrow." You say quietly. "It'll be the best damn proposal you've ever gotten, Karkat. Be prepared to swoon."

He smirks faintly. "Yeah, okay. I'm not holding my breath, Mr. Kissed-Me-And-Ran-Off-Over-Some-Other-Guy." Karkat teases. You grimace at the reminder. God, you know you're an idiot, but it's hard to beat that.

"Not fair." You protest. "I was into John for so long - how was I supposed to know that you were the one for me?" You're trying to sound whiny and joking, but the words still make Karkat's face heat up. You love how easily flustered he gets over the tiniest bit of affection. You chuckle. "Why don't we call it a draw and just kiss again?" You suggest quietly.

Karkat fights and fails to keep down a smile. His arms lock around your neck like they belong there, and his forehead meets yours with a gentle nudge. "I think that sounds fair," he mumbles, "and I accept your surrender."

Any protest you might have made is cut off when his lips meet yours. You relax into the feeling, letting your eyes close. He tastes like magic, and you can't seem to get enough. You don't deserve it, you know that you don't, and yet...

Even after everything you've been through, it is worth it to end up with him.

THE END

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A/N: I just want to say, thank you all for sticking around throughout this long, long story! When I started this over a year ago, I never expected it to get any attention, so I'm incredibly grateful for every single review! I know I never reply to any of them, but I'm still working on mastering my social anxiety, so for now, I'll stick to reading them. For those who somehow managed to force their way through every single chapter, I want to personally thank you. It means everything to me to have your support and your lovely reviews. I wouldn't have gotten through this long, long fic without your support and encouragement! I love you all, and I hope you enjoyed this trip! I still don't like this story, but it was certainly… an experience. At the very least, I hope it was something alright for you to occasionally read in bits and pieces.

I started watching Camp Camp yesterday and I'm already done. Please help me.

Final statistics! According to Google Docs, anyway.

Act 1:

Pages - 123
Words - 76,680
Characters - 415,396
Characters excluding spaces - 339,817

Act 2:

Pages - 208
Words - 131,736
Characters - 712,026
Characters excluding spaces - 581,939

Total:

Pages - 332
Words - 208,416
Characters - 1,127,422
Characters excluding spaces - 921,756

And once again, thank you!