Chapter 5.1: Pirate Pictures

Roy leaned back in his chair. "By the stars! I am glad to be off that island."

Iggy nodded and pushed his glasses up his face. "People already think I'm nuts. If I had to listen to those Merfles one more minute, there wouldn't be any doubts about it."

Waluigi turned around in his seat and shook his fist. "Would you guys shut up! I'm not used to driving a boat."

Ashley turned around in her seat. "I just want you guys to shut up, period."

Alboort tapped a couple times on his laptop. "Looks like we're on course for the ship. Just turn slightly to the left, Waluigi."

Waluigi turned the steering wheel. "By the way, Alboort, how are we gonna get on a pirate ship? I mean, it'd be one thing if it was just you, me, Ashley, and Toadsworth, but these guys aren't the type to sneak onto a ship."

Wendy folded her arms and glared at Waluigi. "Are you insinuating that I'm fat!?"

Waluigi waved one arm in the air. "No, I'm insinuating that you guys won't shut up for more than ten minutes at a time unless your asleep, and whispering doesn't seem to be part of your vocabulary."

Roy chuckled. "Good thing you guys didn't bring Morton. Even when he's asleep, he talks at a speed of a hundred words a minute."

Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Well, I took the liberty to get the gang's measurements, and I used those to get pirate costumes for all of us." He got up from his seat and floated over to the a trap door in the middle of the motorboat's deck. He flipped it open and jumped down. A few minutes later, he hopped out of the trapdoor, a bandanna on his head and a belt instead of a bowtie. "All costumes should be labeled, and you may change beneath the deck."

"Ooh! Ooh! Me next!" Wendy ran over and jumped down.

---

A massive pirate galleon sat in the middle of the ocean. A Red Bandinero was making his rounds, when a hook latched itself on the railing.

The Red Bandinero jumped. "Who goes there?"

Waluigi pulled himself up, the hook replacing his left hand. He wore a purple, very formal captain's outfit with a gold plume hanging off his hat. "Team Waluigi. That's who's here!"

The Red Bandinero raised an eyebrow. "Team Waluigi?"

A hooked ladder clung behind Waluigi, and Ashley and Funky Kong climbed up.

The Red Bandinero pulled out a clipboard. "Um, you don't seem to be on the list."

Waluigi stabbed his hook through the clipboard and threw it over his shoulder, letting in fly over Alboort's head and into the seat. "First off, we are world renowned thieves and pirates, so we should have been on the list. Second, this is Pirate-Palooza! We don't need to be on any stinking list."

The Red Bandinero blinked a couple times. "Well, I suppose that's a good point." He watched as Alboort, Toadsworth, and Ludwig climbed up the ladder. "I think we still have enough lodging for you. And I repeat, I think." He turned around and walked down the deck.

Alboort floated up beside Waluigi. "That was pretty quick thinking."

Waluigi leaned over to Alboort. "Thinking had nothing to do with it. Nobody tells me no."

"Well, then, you'll be glad to hear that you'll get your tour of the ship today."

Waluigi placed a hand on his head. "I know. Reconnaissance."

---

Waluigi stepped out of a cabin door. He pulled out his Thieftech and flipped it open. "So, Alboort, do you think there's any threat from guards here?"

"Well, as long as you keep your pirate clothes on, there shouldn't be any real problems." Alboort tapped several keys. "However, it might be best to avoid most most. They might get suspicious with how late you're out."

Waluigi nodded. "Okay, so avoiding guards is good, but it's not exactly necessary." He looked down the hall both ways. "It's not like these guys looks that tough either."

Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Nope. Bandineros are pretty much harmless, so let's talk about what's necessary." He clicked on his mouse and examined the computer screen. "Now, in order to save Queen Merelda, we're going to need to look at what we're up against."

Waluigi smirked. "What? Is that satellite of yours not working? Don't you already know what we're up against?"

Alboort frowned. "You know what I mean!"

Waluigi snickered. "Okay. So where do I go first?"

Alboort tapped several keys. "Well, it might sound strange, but I need you to go down a deck."

Waluigi took hold of his chin and raised an eyebrow. "But the first floor is on the first basement deck. Why do you want me to go down to the third?"

"It's important." Alboort pushed up his glasses. "After you go down the stairs, you need to find the kitchen."

"And let me guess, going down there is a big no-no, so I'm going to have to take out any guards on my way."

Alboort pushed his glasses up. "Exactly. I tried finding a way to drop straight down into the kitchen, but there isn't a single window or opening besides the front door."

Waluigi sighed. "I'll make my way down." He flipped his Theiftech shut and pocketed it. He walked around until he found some wooden stairs down. He strutted his way down the stairs. "Stupid costume. It's too sweaty to run in this."

As Waluigi walked onto the next floor, he looked around. He saw a Bandinero to his right. He snuck up behind it, kicked it up in the air, and slammed it into the deck. He walked on until he saw a door with a golden fork and knife crossing it. He opened it up and walked inside.

As Waluigi entered the kitchen, he pulled out his Thieftech. "Okay, Alboort, what am I looking for?"

Alboort frowned and leaned on the desk. "Have you even looked around?"

Waluigi looked around and jumped. He pulled up his Thieftech and snapped a picture. "What the heck is that thing?"

"That would be Large Fry." Alboort tapped several keys. "Not only is he Shake King's chef, he's his right-hand man."

Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "Right-hand man? It's a fish! A giant, flying fish in a stew pot."

"Don't be fooled. Large Fry may look harmless, but his weight can smash most people into a puddle." Alboort clicked on his mouse a couple times. "On top of that, his stomach is as powerful as Wario's, so get out of there before he decides you would make a decent snack."

Waluigi raised an eyebrow. He placed the Thieftech over his eye and ear and jumped out of the door. "Okay. So, besides flying shark stew, what else do you want a picture of?"

Alboort tapped several keys. "Well, the ballroom is important, so make your way up there."

Waluigi nodded and walked down the hall. "Snitching party favors. Now, that's more like it." He walked up the stairs and walked down to the next flight.

After Waluigi arrived on the next deck higher, he walked towards a large set of gold-embroidered double doors. He flung them open and walked in. He looked around. "Wow. This place is packed."

Alboort nodded. "Now, it might take a bit of hunting, but I need you to take a picture of Shake King, Queen Merelda, and Captain Syrup."

Waluigi nodded. "Well, it might take a few minutes to recognize them, but it shouldn't be that hard." He pressed to button to take Alboort off the screen and walked into the crowds. He stopped and turned his Thieftech back on. He looked around and zoomed in on a purple-clad woman who was chatting with a bipedal bull. When he got a good full-length image, he snapped the shot.

Alboort appeared on the screen "That would be Captain Syrup."

Waluigi nodded. "I know about her. Wario used to rant about his adventures where he butt heads with her."

Alboort nodded as he tapped a few keys. "Captain Syrup is an expert in stealth, greed, mechanics, and piracy. She's probably the smartest person to ride the seas, and Wario's brute strength is very likely the only reason he's been able to beat her."

Waluigi curled his false hook on one end of his mustache. "So, is she someone to watch out for?"

Alboort rubbed his chin. "Well, she's smart enough to be a threat." He adjusted his glasses. "But she may prove useful just as easily."

"I'll let you think that one over. I might be number one, but I'm not willing to risk everything like Wario." Waluigi turned his Thieftech off and walked deeper into the ballroom. He walked around the massive dance floor and paused. He looked around until he saw a pair of large, gold chairs beneath a highly decorated pair of flags. He turned on his Thieftech and took a picture.

Alboort reappeared in the screen. "So this is the Shake King, scourge of the seas and the Shake Dimension."

Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "He looks more like a fat viking than a pirate." He held his chin. "He's not much of a looker, either."

Alboort tapped several keys. "Well, looks aren't everything. Don't underestimate him. He can control lightning with a snap of his fingers."

Waluigi grimaced. "I've been hit by several bolts of lightning before. It wasn't too bad, but I'm not saying I like it."

"Then how about we avoid him for now." Alboort stared intently at his computer screen. "Now, do you see Queen Merelda?"

Waluigi looked around. "She's in green clothes, right?"

Alboort nodded.

Waluigi frowned. "Not a single speck of green in here."

Alboort returned the frown. "Well, that's annoying." He took a deep breath. "Well, that should be it for now."

Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "That's it? No running topside to get some pictures of birds? No other guests of interest?"

Alboort tapped his chin. "Well, I can tell that there are some cannons on the edges of the ship, but there's nothing that really comes to mind." He huffed. "I still can't believe that Queen Merelda isn't there."

Waluigi shrugged. "Do you want me to go looking for her?"

Alboort shook his head. "If you haven't noticed, a better part of the guests are making there way back to their rooms. It's almost curfew, and some of the more violent guards are certain to come take the night shift."

Waluigi stretched up an arm before pulling his Thieftech off his face. "Okay. I'm coming back to bed, then." He shut the Thieftech and walked out of the ballroom.

Mission complete,

signed,

-Waluigi

---

Well, whereas the last two levels were based more on beating the snot out of characters, this is going to be more skill-based for most of the missions. There will still be a mini-boss, and the big boss himself.

Now, I know I called Waluigi different names in previous costumes, but they were different species. I didn't think it was worth calling him captain or pirate, when he's still human. It's not like I'm going to have him take off his pirate costume at any time.

Just stay tuned, and please enjoy and review.