A. Chapter 35
My body burned- everywhere. Every inch of my body did seem to be hurting. Just opening my eyes seemed like a dire task, and I could tell as I tried to regain the wisps of consciousness, a fever was running rampant in my system. The moan slipped from my lips- I didn't even get the chance to stop it. Someone was instantly at my side- actually I think four people were suddenly at my side. I tried to crack an eye, but I couldn't help but groan louder as light poured in.
"Close the blinds," I heard Dean order. At least, I knew he was alright.
Finally, the blinding light faded enough for me to barely open my eyes. Standing or hovering over my bed actually was the four people I was happy to see: Suriel with Dean's arm around her waist, Sam, and Cas. They were staring intently down on my form.
"How long have I been out?" I croaked out. My voice sounded hoarse, and I wasn't sure if that was from disuse or the poison still running through my system. I couldn't help but shudder as a temperature flux hit my body straight on. I watched as Cas leaned over and pulled a wet wash cloth from the bowl and set it across my blistering forehead.
"You've been out two days," Suriel answered looking at me sadly. "The fever was so high… We feared…" She didn't need to finish for me to know that I was lucky once again to be alive.
"Everyone okay?" I grinned wanting to sit up but already knowing that wasn't a possibility in my current condition.
"You're the one that got poisoned," Dean huffed back laying a hand against my flushed cheek. "You're still running a higher temperature than I would like."
"In Dean fashion," I joked. "I'm just being my normal hot self." The elder hunter glared down at me for my corny joke, but everyone else broke out in smiles. My stomach growling interrupted any further conversation. Sam was quick to volunteer to find some soup in Bobby's kitchen. Somehow Dean and Suriel left leaving me with just the angel.
"How are you doing?" I smiled, but I could tell the second the words left my lips, they were the wrong words.
"Rachel," he whispered, and I could hear every ounce of pain in my very name. "We thought… I thought." He laid his face flat against both palms. I wanted to move to comfort him, to tell him I lived, that I was going to be alright, but I could barely lift my arm. "I walked in and you were screaming. Blood pooling on the ground." His words are sporadic, and I wasn't really sure half of the events he was talking about were, but my memories of the day of being poisoned are sort of not really there completely. "I had to hold you down as you cried."
I remembered the pain though. "It hurt," I whispered in return, turning my head to look at the angel- the wash cloth falling to the floor as I did so.
"What do you," he paused, trying to regain his composure, "remember?"
"Pain," I whispered. "I don't remember how, but I knew I had been poisoned… then just really horrible pain."
"Do you remember going undercover as your counterpart?" he asked, and I knew we were onto business.
"I…" I stopped suddenly not really sure what I remembered. "I do remember going under, but I…" There was nothing there; no memories of any of it. The only thing that was for sure is that I suddenly felt like a failure. I had gone undercover and came back with no memories of it. "I don't… I don't…" I found that having my very memories ripped away scared me- actually terrified me- and I wanted to just suddenly I had the chance to even move an inch, Cas is literally on top of me- his hands pinning my arms to my sides, and his weight on his knees, keeping it all off me. Our eyes met- his calm blue ones with my now terrified ones. Something warm, besides the burning pain still coursing my veins, took over, and with just one look from the angel, I immediately calmed.
"Gabriel mentioned that the poison would have some sort of affect on you," he explains releasing one of his hands, so he can rest it against my sweat-stricken cheek. "You didn't lose any of your grace thankfully, but the poison still had some affect on you."
"Memory?" I choked out trying to stay focused on the angel's eyes. As long as I was looking into his calm blues, I would stay relaxed. The world melted away though when the angel leaned down and kissed me. I didn't understand where all of this was suddenly coming from. Besides the dream and a few chaste kisses here and there, we hadn't done anything, so this was all new to me. I didn't mind the angel's tongue in my mouth; actually, I quite enjoyed it. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to what sex would feel like with the angel- I had never had the experience before, and I actually sort of wanted to share my first time with the angel.
"I'm just glad that you are okay," he whispered out once he pulled away. The added heat from Cas's body started to make me uncomfortable, but I didn't want the angel to leave. It took some maneuvering, but eventually, we were able to lay side by side- my head on his chest, comfortably. "Sleep…"
"How about soup?" Sam asked from the doorway, his eyes staring at the two of us. I could tell he wasn't too sure about the whole thing, but when Suriel and Dean returned unfazed by how Cas and I were laying, Sam was quick to follow.
With the help of Cas, I was able to sit up and try eating the soup. At some point, it was obvious I couldn't exactly feed myself. My body was trembling so horribly from the fever that Dean actually took a seat on the bed opposite of the angel and helped me to eat. Some part of my mind found it pathetic to have to be fed, but the other side was thankful for having someone like Dean so close. While being fed, Sam sort of caught me up. Somehow in the midst of being poisoned, the two dark brothers had been captured, and they weren't sure what to do with them. The angels had talked of exorcising them back to Hell, but it only prolonged a constant problem. The brothers would claw their way back up, but the angels didn't seem to sure if they wanted to kill them either. Deano was still their savior- demon or not.
"Talk to them," I suggested.
"About what?" Dean asked. "The weather?"
"No," I said pushing the soup away as my stomach gave an ungodly flip. "About why they stand with Lucy…"
"Why would we do that?" Sam asked.
I wanted to roll my eyes, and if it didn't cost my body valuable energy, I would have. "They still have humanity. I've seen it…" The brothers looked confused before I went into the story of when I was fighting Deano that I said Samuel was in trouble, and he looked away. It's obvious that he cared for his brother. They, of course, looked spectacle. It wasn't shocking; I was talking about trying to reach the humanity in a demon- difficult task.
"Help me downstairs," I sighed. "I want to talk to Rach." Dean looked like he was about to protest, but I gave him a glare and moved to get off the bed on my own. The first chance I had to place my feet on the ground, I almost went down face first. Both brothers supported my weight, and I gave each of them a smile. Behind me, Cas stood, but there was nothing he could at the moment. The brothers had me, and it was a grueling and slow task, but eventually, we made it downstairs. Gab immediately had shouted my name and moved to hug me, but she froze when she realized how sick I was. Pulling away from the brothers, I used the wall for support and made my way to where the captured Rach was suppose to be… if they didn't move her.
I was able to stumble into the room and grab a chair before collapsing in it. It took a second for me to calm my pounding heart. Perhaps, I should have waited to come downstairs. Rach just watched from where she was sitting and smiled in glee.
"Not feeling well sweet heart?" Rach smiled. "Told you, you wouldn't last a day."
"I would have," I laughed, "had I not taken a hit for Dean. At least that is what I'm told."
"Told?" she questioned leaning forward slightly. "Can't remember much?"
"Nope. Though I'm pretty sure I don't want to." It was weird to have a civilized conversation with my darker half.
"Then what do you want?" she hissed, bending one knee so she could place more weight on it. "I'm trying to listen to what the angels plan to do to the brothers."
"Talk," I replied, and I could tell Rach wasn't in the mood, but I didn't care. "I'm curious to see why you went the way you did. Standing with Lucifer and all."
"He's my father."
"Bullshit," I hissed, and I reached down my shirt to find the precious dog tags that had ended up around my neck at some point. I held them up in the fading light. "This was our father. He raised us, loved us… died for us."
"Because some damn angels killed him," she growled, not liking where this conversation was going.
"Let it go!" I snarled. "I did… He said it was an accident, so it was an accident."
"You know the one who did it right?"
"Yes, Castiel."
"Yet you stand by him?"
"I stood with the brothers at first," I admitted. "Now I stand by the angels. My father will not step one foot on this earth."
"The angels aren't worth shit… Disgusting."
"And our father is better? He doesn't care for you, not the way our real dad did. He went to war for us. He loved us, and this is how you repay him?" I stood, even wobbly I closed the distance between Rach and myself. "Letting your world burn? Maybe giving Lucifer a chance to get into heaven where our Dad rests?" Without thinking, I chucked the dog tags at her which she caught easily. Her fingers gliding over the metal surface.
"He'll never get into heaven," she said, her voice small.
"He will if you keep fighting for him!" I said, my voice rising. "You started to fight against the angels because they killed your parents. I get that! But… But is it fair to kill all those other kids parents? Is it right to let the world burn because of an accident? Will you let Lucy get into heaven? Because you and I both know he won't stop at Earth." I was out of breath when I finished with my rant.
"I stand with the brothers… not… not with my Father."
"And you think the brothers want to be evil?" I sighed sitting outside the trap. "Dean only became a demon because of Hell, and Sam went evil because his brother was gone."
"Shut up." I now knew I was getting somewhere. If my body was up for it, I would continue this conversation, but I was starting to see the world spin. Slowly, I was able to push myself up and head back for the door. "I loved my Dad…" I heard it barely that I wasn't sure I heard it at all. I turned to face Rach who's face was hidden. "It's my fault that he died."
"No," I sighed. "It's not. Everything happens for a reason. Destiny sucks, but no matter what happened that night, I'm very sure our Dad would have died." With that, I left the room and bumped right into Cas. "Perfect timing. I need help back up to bed."
"What were you discussing?" he asked, his eyes shifting around me and to where Rach was sitting.
"How much life sucks," I joked, "and how to get over it." With the fever, I was utterly spent and couldn't help but lean into the angel's chest.
"Let me get you up into bed," Cas smiled actually picking me up and taking me back upstairs. It didn't take long for me to become especially sleepy once my body touched the bed.
. . . .
I wasn't sure how much time passed before I woke again. Light was pouring into the room again, but it didn't hurt my eyes as much this time to open them. No one was in the room with me this time either. Downstairs, there was a lot of yelling. Deciding to see what the fuck was going on, I slowly limped my way down the stairs. It was Dean and Sam going at it. A few of the angels were watching from the sidelines, and I was just like 'they're giving me a headache.' The two seemed to be arguing about Sam's powers, and I just couldn't believe they were going at this again.
I thought of using my grace to separate the two, but before I had the chance, someone else did. I shifted my eyes to find Rach standing in the doorway- our eyes immediately locked. I must have missed something since no angel was freaked out that she was free.
"I still feel like shit," I sighed, "so if someone could just tell me why my counterpart is standing in the door frame drinking coffee?"
"Simple," Gabriel said standing behind the other Nephilim.
"I'm going to help you take out my Father," Rach finished. "You were right… congrats." The last word was a little forced.
"Can she be trusted?" I asked feeling like this was some kind of joke.
"I can tell she's telling the truth," Gabriel responded, but it didn't exactly squash my doubts.
Suddenly, the dog tags were flying back at me, and even with my slowed reflexes, I snatched them from the air. Rach's eyes met mine, and I gave the Nephilim a smile.
"I'm going to need your help and the brothers," Rach said. "My two Winchesters are still reachable as well. It's just going to be really difficult."
"I think I know of a few things to say," I grinned. "But first, I need to eat before I throw up."
"I could go get you pie," Dean suggested, and I couldn't help but flick the hunter off before pressing my way into the kitchen. All I wanted right now was a shower, but it was a distant thought as Rach came up behind me.
"You're lucky the poison has little effect on Nephilims," she explained. I didn't answer- just kept spreading butter on a piece of toast. "I never touched him… I don't know if you know that or not."
"Who?"
"Castiel," she answered with a chuckle. "I don't know why, I couldn't do shit to him."
"He said you raped him," I forced out trying to ignore my counterpart now. I didn't want to talk about this.
"Some shape-shifter demon took my form and did," she sighed. "I killed the demon for it and let the angel leave. I'm not as evil as you think I am."
"I just think," I sighed reveling in this new information. "I think you didn't know what to do or who to stand with. The brothers showed up dark, so you went dark. That's what I think."
"It wasn't like I had much of a choice," she admitted. "Just one day, I came home and Alistair was there. I hadn't been practicing, so it didn't take a lot for the demon to drag me away."
"I understand the feeling," I sighed while promptly throwing up into the sink.
"Still hurting?"
"You think," I snarled probably nastier than I meant to. "It doesn't matter though. Better than Dean being hurt."
"It wouldn't have affected him as badly though," Rach countered.
"Also a chance that he'd be dead from a well-aimed shot," I said, closing my eyes and leaning against the counter. "I'll die before I see the brothers get hurt."
"I guess we actually are alike," I heard the Nephilim chuckle while I gave her a side glance before smiling.
"Perhaps we should go round up my Winchesters and see if we can convince yours to join us," I said realizing that was a very confusing statement. Rach understood though, and nodded. Grabbing a piece of bread, I sort of stumbled back towards the brothers- my Winchesters, but they were already goading their dark halves.
Thankfully the dark brothers had been separated, and when I walked in, Dean and Deano were just glowering at each other. I stuffed the bread into my mouth and moved to join the Winchester. This was going to be a long day.
"Rach?" Deano said when his eyes fell on my counterpart. "Get me out of here…"
"I can't," she whispered. "We've made a mistake Dean. We're on the wrong side."
"You want to betray your father?"
"He's not my father," she snapped. I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable in this room as was Dean.
"Look who's not dead," Deano said turning on me. "You failed to do anything to Lucifer's plans. Pathetic…"
"Actually," I shrugged pulling together the courage to say my next words. "I believe the only failure in this room is you my sweet." I watched as his eyes narrow. "Daddy's little girl broke in thirty and became the very thing he hunted. I find that to be quite pathetic." Dean was trying to keep his cool; after all, it was like talking to either one of them. The words were going to hurt Dean as well, but to me, the hunter was far from a failure. He was a hero…
"Go to Hell," the demon whispered staring up at me. He had taken a seat in the middle of the devil's trap, and I couldn't help but kneel by it.
"Been there," I joked. "The scenery sucks." Next to me, I felt Dean join me near the ground. Leaning over, I whispered to Dean, "He won't listen to me, but try bringing up your father… I know this is going to hurt you as well, but I believe in you." I took a step back and allowed Dean to handle this. Rach gave me a look, but I could only smile and mouth he's got this.
"I remember Hell," Dean hissed. "I remember the rack, having my organs torn from my body, bones shattered, muscle sliced. I remember it every god damn night. I remember the exact moment I told Alistair to sign me up and I got down because I couldn't do it anymore."
"This sob story going somewhere?" Deano growled, but I could tell he was remembering the beginning of Hell now too.
"Far from a sob story," Dean chuckled. "It's our story. We broke the first seal when our dad had held out. For what…"
"Almost a century," Deano hissed out.
A few angels had joined this scene- mostly ones from the other dimension. I knew each of them wanted a shot at the demon that had caused them so much pain, but I also could tell they were intrigued to see what the hunter was going to say to his darker half.
"We weren't strong enough," Dean frowned. "Gave in too quickly, but then I was told something I never really had thought of before."
"What's that?" Deano sighed.
"Had I known what was at stake…" Dean paused. "I would have never climbed off that rack. I just wanted the pain to stop, and I didn't see anything wrong with it anymore. But had I known what I was doing would lead to all of this, I would have stayed on that rack!" I could tell the hunter was holding back tears. "Hell is meant to break you…"
I couldn't believe it. Dean had just admitted to his other half and maybe even himself that all of this- the apocalypse- was not his fault. I already knew it wasn't, but to hear Dean himself say it gave me more hope in that one second than anything else combined.
"You're the very thing you use to hunt," Dean sighed shaking his head. "What would Dad say?"
"Shut it."
"I'd suggest getting your ass of that ground and helping us to put Lucifer back in his box. You're the only one who can do it, so stop running and get your head out of the sand." To my shock, Dean ran his foot along one of the markings of the devil's trap, effectively breaking it. "Think about Dad and fight for him. Our Mom…"
"Lucifer wants in Hell," Rach added. "He'll shred every soul to pieces there including our parents."
Deano stood and glowered at every one of us before falling into a smirk. His red eyes being replaced by his usual greens. "We'll need Sammy."
"I'm all ready to go," Samuel added from the doorway- Sam directly behind him. "He won't get into Heaven if it's the last thing I do."
Surrounded by Lucifer's three generals, I had a glimmer of hope that we might actually have a shot to win this.
Chapter 36: The three generals prepare to face off against Lucifer to keep their own parents safe. The humanity in their veins finally running strong. The question remains will the generals plus the good Winchesters and Rachel be enough to take down Lucifer?
Author Note: Rachel remembers nothing of being undercover which includes Ruby being stuck at the warehouse, the confession from Deano about Rach, and the time she spent with Cas. Another thing to keep in mind for later.
OOC: One more chapter to this arc and then the interlude. Hope you guys enjoyed this arc! Review, please and thank-you!