She felt like such an idiot for believing, for hoping. She realised that she should have known that Ronon would not be interested in someone like her. Someone weak like her. But still she had somehow entertained the idea that he was interested. Hell, she had been so sure she had scared herself and made up a fictitious someone else when she feared he was getting too close. But all the time he had been the one interested in someone else. She almost laughed at the situation. People like Ronon were never in her social group, so how had she convinced herself there was hope. She had felt embarrassed, almost humiliated, up in the observation room. She wanted time alone, to think, to get over her foolishness. When she left the room she had considered seeing Laura, but did not think she could actually put her stupidity into words. So here she was on the south tower looking out onto the ocean, safe from being found. As far as she knew this part of the tower had not been explored, as it held no military or scientific interest. No one came here, except her. For someone who jumps at her own shadow, she was surprised that she ever made it out to this part of the city. So far away from anyone else, so many hidden and unforeseen dangers lurking. And yet here she was, so desperate for solitude that she could overcome some of her fears. She watched the oscillations ride on the water mentally berating herself. She replayed Ronon's words 'We are kind of interested in the same person' over and over in her head, every time questioning how she, a genius even by Atlantis standards, had been so wrong.
It was then she was sure that she heard a foreign sound. She turned round and looked down the corridor and saw nothing. She scorned herself for being so jumpy and went back onto the balcony. Then there was another sound, just like a door. She reached up to her ear and tapped. Her hand came into direct contact with her ear. There was no radio; she must have left it in her room. She felt her heart beat faster. She tried to calm herself, convince herself that she was more jumpy than normal because of Cole. It worked until she saw a shadow, a shadow that was approaching. Then her heart really began to race. She desperately looked round for something she could use as a weapon. There was nothing. She backed away to the edge of the balcony. As she made contact with the rail a figure emerged from the corridor.
"Ronon." She gasped.
Ronon looked at the petite doctor on the balcony, her back pressed against the rail. Her right arm was in a sling and he could just make out her fingers poking out of the top of the cast, he was sure that they were trembling.
"Jennifer. Are you ok?" He asked as he moved onto the balcony.
"Yeah. You just kinda scared me there. I was not expecting anyone else here." Jennifer replied unable to maintain eye contact and snapped her eyes down to look at her boots.
"I came to find you." Ronon said.
"How did you know I was here?" Jennifer asked.
"You always come here when you want to be alone." Ronon replied, surprising Jennifer.
"How do you know that?" She asked.
Ronon did not want his reply to make him sound like a crazed stalker from one of the films Sheppard had made him watch, so he carefully considered his answer.
"I saw you enter this part of the tower once. I knew it wasn't used so followed you to make sure you were ok."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't really," Ronon began. Then after a long pause added, "talk. Besides you looked like you wanted to be alone."
"That's why I come here." Jennifer confirmed, hoping that Ronon would take the hint.
"Figured." Ronon replied, trying to subtly get closer to Jennifer. "I just wanted to say, well explain, earlier..." He began. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't. I did. I was just. Never mind. Can we possibly forget about earlier?" Jennifer asked, whilst secretly pleading for the floor to open up and swallow her. She was mortified when Ronon replied.
"No." Ronon then paused briefly as he stepped towards Jennifer so she was trapped between him and the balcony rail. "It came out wrong earlier. The person I was referring to-"
"Is none of my business." Jennifer interrupted, never feeling so humiliated.
"You." Ronon said firmly.
"You can do what you want here. There is no need to tell me about your private life." Jennifer continued oblivious to Ronon's last comment. "I mean it is not like we are close like you and Teyla and-" Jennifer stopped abruptly. "You? As in me?" She asked, her jaw hanging in shock. Ronon nodded whilst Jennifer tried to gather some of thoughts. "You, Rodney, me?" She finally managed to get out.
Surprised at Jennifer's almost monosyllabic conversation Ronon feared the worse. "I understand." He stated as he began to turn.
"Understand? Understand what?" Jennifer asked, desperately wishing she understood.
"He is clever like you and from Earth like you." He replied looking back at Jennifer before he left the balcony.
"Who is what and what?" Jennifer asked, cursing her brain for not functioning. "Wait you think I would want Rodney because he is clever and from Earth over you?" Jennifer said as she noticed Ronon was no longer on the balcony. "Ronon. Wait." She called. She hurried out into the corridor and saw Ronon standing still with his back to her.
"I don't want Rodney." She said causing Ronon to turn slowly and face her. In his eyes she saw something she never associated with Ronon, doubt. She crossed the distance between them and moved into Ronon's personal space. When her nose was barely an inch from his chest she whispered. "I want you."
Ronon placed his hands in Jennifer's hair and gently pulled her head back, so it was tilting upwards. He then leaned down and kissed Jennifer. Gently at first, but when Jennifer returned the kiss, with unhidden passion, he no longer repressed his desire and deepened the kiss.