Silent Music
Chapter 34
Disclaimer: No no No No no no!! These characters are not mine!
Author's note: Hey everybody! I'm so happy with your response!! I can't tell you how much it meant to be told that it was one of the best chapters I had written. This chapter is quite angsty. I hope it's as good.
Ginny could literally feel Harry stiffen and tense. She wished she didn't have to ruin the mood of the evening but helping Harry was far more important than remaining in his good graces. At least that's what she thought and mentally prepared herself for what was to come.
"What do you mean what's going on?" Harry asked striving to keep his voice even and not sound irritated. Truth be told, a part of him was deeply afraid that once Ginny learnt the truth, once all his friends learnt the truth, they wouldn't believe him. Or worse, believe he was guilty…
Harry licked his lips and hoped he could fob Ginny off with a lie. If not, he could always start kissing her again. Maybe she would forget about this then. But when he looked down at her and saw the determined look in her eyes, he knew…he knew that come hell or high water she wouldn't stop till she learnt the truth.
"Harry please don't lie to me. I don't care if you do anything else but never lie to me." She paused to take a deep breath and touched her aching throat. Not only was her voice unused but it was also very sensitive in rains. And she was starting to feel cold now…with the snow and the rain. And also by the fact that what Harry might tell her now may lead him to distance himself from her. What would she do then?
Well it won't happen any time soon, she promised herself. "Harry you've been acting really weird lately. Today in the study, you were going to go for your uncle's throat. And what do you have against Voldermort? I feel like I'm fighting blind against something that threatens to take you away from us, from me! I'm scared Harry! Really scared because I know…I know, something really sinister is going on. Don't you dare try to laugh this off!" she signed when she noticed he was about to shrug off the matter, "What's happening Harry? I want to help you. Tell me Harry! Tell me! Please!"
Harry felt tears smart at the back of his eyes at the look of anguish on her face. When he made to pull her closer, she moved back, away from the circle of his arms. Harry felt the sting of rejection. Why was she insisting on this so much? It wasn't her battle to fight! No! She must stay as far away from it as possible! What if she was hurt? Harry couldn't bear thinking about it and decided to try and be cold and distance himself from her. He should never have gotten involved with her in the first place but he had had no idea then about the storm that had been waiting for him…
"I won't tell you. I don't want or need your help." Harry deliberately made his expression as cold as he could possibly make it. He grasped her arms tightly and forced himself to ignore the unshed tears in her eyes. He forced one hand under her chin and raised it so that she could see his expression clearly. "I think we've reached a point where I've realized that we can't go on. I don't want anyone to run around me or fuss about me the way you've suddenly decided to do…
I have no other choice than to break up with you now." His face was set in dispassionate lines. Ginny was looking at his lips so she missed the heartache in his eyes. They were windows to his soul and had she seen them rather than his face she would have known that this was all a lie. Harry was falling apart inside, feeling the endless pit of loneliness yawning below him.
Ginny's gasp of pain cut through right to his soul. He forced himself to give the final blow that would sever any connection she had with him. "You were good..." he smirked then continued in condescending tones, " But Pansy is much better. At least she knows how to kiss…and much more" he smirked making sure she understood each word carefully.
The tears started coming down her face then and she bowed her head so that Harry couldn't see them. She didn't see Harry's hand reach out to touch her hair and then pull back and look at her wistfully. She didn't see him lightly wrap his finger around one of her curls. Nor did she see him lean down to breathe in the scent of her hair. Memorizing it, to store it away with all his best memories.
No, she only saw the cold and cruel expression on her face which was replaced by one of shock when she slapped him hard across his face. Ginny ran away from there, wiping away the tears that kept coming. The wind kept pushing her back towards Harry. She fought it like she fought her heart and kept going away from Harry.
Harry watched her go and when he made sure she was far away from him, he sank down on his knees and cried out in anguish as the tears started streaming down his face. The wind around him picked up again and whipped against Harry. The pain and loneliness that had been held at bay so far crashed onto him. He sat there by that tree, crying into his knees, holding the jeweled pin he had picked from Ginny's hair held tightly to his chest. He kept on rocking back and forth, hoping in vain that the pain would recede.
a.n- if you could, please listen to your tears don't fall by bullet for my valentine when you read this part.
--
Ginny's hair whipped around her face as she was walked back to the manor. Her hands immediately went to her hair to pat it in place when she realized one of her jeweled pins was missing.
Panic tightened her heart when she saw around her and found that it wasn't there. It had been there when she went to the tree with Harry…No! Don't think about it, she told herself, shivering with the effort of preventing herself from crying.
She probably left It there, she forcefully reminded herself about the pin. Well she'd have to go back and get it because she had borrowed it from her mom. Her mom had given them to her after hours of her begging her mom. They weren't so well off and those jeweled pins were one of their few jewels.
She started heading back to the spot she had just come from, bracing her shoulders and taking a few deep breaths every few minutes and telling herself that Harry wasn't there. He would have gone away from somewhere else and probably was with Pansy the cow right now.
The tears threatened to spill again and she furiously blinked them away. She leaned against a tree to gather her courage and entered the clearing. What she saw there made her heart stop…
Harry sat by their tree, his shoulders shaking. Ginny got a little scared and had just taken a step towards him when she saw him raise his face to the moon. The tears on his face shimmered in the moonlight as he held something glittery to his lips…It was her pin!
Suddenly, Harry turned to look in her direction. Ginny was shaken to the core by the look of naked wanting and longing…the look of yearning on his face before it was replaced by the cold sneer that she hated.
Suddenly, everything made sense. Harry wanted her…He wanted her! He loved her! How could she have ever believed that he wanted Pansy? Her steps towards him became faster and faster till she was nearly standing in front of him.
Every step towards him made her heart feel lighter. This is so right! She thought. Harry stood up suddenly and tried to back away from her but Ginny kept on moving towards him till he was backed up against the tree.
Harry realized he was corned and lifted his chin up and tried to sneer at her, "Glutton for punishment aren't you? What do you want now?"
Ginny pressed up against him, this time only paying attention to the look of yearning in his eyes. Harry's body stiffened and flattened against the tree while he tried to keep as far away from him as possible. But she pressed so close to him that he had no space to move. He shut his eyes so that he didn't have to look at her. IF he looked at her, he wouldn't be able to let her go a second time…
Ginny reached past him and took the clip from his hand and stepped back. Harry's eyes immediately sprang open and he lunged forward in search of her. Exultation roared through Ginny as her suspicions concreted into belief. Harry did love her and for some reason broke up with her only to protect her.
She stepped back into Harry arms and looked up at him lovingly. Harry knew he had given the game away and discarded all pretenses. He squeezed her so tightly she couldn't breathe! He kept on running his hands all over her to make sure she was really there. He wrapped his hand in her hair possessively and buried his face in her shoulder, taking deep breaths. Ginny was so happy that she couldn't do anything else except hug him tightly. Besides, Harry wouldn't let her do anything else..
They sat down after a while, Harry possessively hugging Ginny close to him. He began to recount the story in halted tones telling her about the death of his parents, their supposed involvement in drugs, their planned escape, Voldermort subsequent murder and his playing the violin on his birthday …and then the explosion…..
He told her about the Sirius's escape and the fact that he believed his God father to be innocent. He told her about the Marauder's map and Dumbledore's lecture. He glossed over the part of his uncle's involvement and its ramifications and lastly he told her about his love and then hatred for the violin.
Ginny read Harry's lips quietly, not commenting or halting his words even once. She just squeezed his hands tightly in support and held onto him. After a while, Harry stopped and took a deep breath. Ginny realized it was her time to respond.
She hesitated before beginning; knowing what she was going to say was going to hurt him deeply. But she also knew that it was the only was to heal the wounds Harry had inflicted on his soul.
"You killed your parents Harry."