"You got home early today," Amy commented when she walked in the door to their house and was greeted by the scent of tomato sauce. She dropped her messenger bag onto its spot before making her way into the kitchen.
Dave briefly left the stove to give her a quick peck on the lips. "My last meeting of the day was canceled so I figured I'd come home early and make dinner."
"Fancy. What're we having?"
"Spaghetti and meatballs."
"Yum. How long?"
"Two hours probably. Why?"
"Just wanting to see if I had enough time to shower."
Amy returned to the kitchen feeling a lot cleaner after her shower. "How was your day?" she asked.
"Fine."
"Anything exciting happen?"
"No."
"Okay then. I'm out."
She sat down at the counter and poured herself a glass of the already opened bottle of Chianti.
"How was your day?" Dave asked instead.
"Today we stopped giving the monkeys their cocaine. It was a messy day. They started flinging poop at us."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave absently said as he moved and sat down next to her at the counter.
"Don't be sorry. Next week we should know a lot more about addiction."
"And angry monkeys."
"Amy, there's been something I've been wanting to talk to you about."
Amy set down her wine glass twirled the stem between her fingers. "This sounds serious."
"Nothing's wrong. I know we talked about having kids one day."
"We did." Amy's heart started beating rapidly. He wasn't reconsidering. He couldn't be. She was not sure if she could handle that. She was growing older by the day and her years of easy childbearing were drawing to a close. If she had to wait much longer, the chances of complications and genetic diseases in her offspring would dramatically increase. Her fertility was already on the decline.
"You're...you're not changing your mind?" she hesitated to ask but she had to know the answer, had to know if her life was about to be thrown off track again, and this time there wasn't much she could do about it. They were married. Committed to each other. This time she couldn't simply leave because he didn't want children and she did. Only he did want children as much as she did. She knew that. She was worried for nothing.
He wasn't answering right away. He really didn't want children anymore. She wasn't sure whether she should be pissed of hyperventilate. She needed more time for the wine to take affect.
"No. Not that. Unless you've reconsidered?" Did he sound upset? She hoped it would be in her favor.
"No. I still want children."
"Me too. I was hoping that one day could be today." He looked hopeful and she felt her heart lighten instantly.
"Right now?" she asked.
"Not right this minute. We have to eat dinner first. But we can start tonight?" He wanted children. With her. Now. She could not have been happier. Her awful day at work forgotten with the wonderful news she just received.
"Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I'll stop taking the pill tonight. Let's have children."
"We're going to have children," Dave repeated after her and if she did not know better it was disbelief.
"We're going to have children." She felt her eyes watering with the sheer joy of it and tried to calm herself down. Don't cry right now. You'll scare him off. You aren't attractive when you cry. That's Penny. Don't you dare cry, Amy, and ruin any chances of conceiving tonight.
Dave went to check on the dinner but Amy did not even notice that she was hungry. They were going to have children. She just wanted to skip dinner and go straight to their bedroom, but Dave got home early and cooked the wonderful smelling dinner for them and it would be a shame to let it go to waste.
"It's ready," Dave said, turning off the stove and bringing their dinner over to the table.
Amy got out the dishes while Dave retrieved the parmesan. They ate their dinner, and while it tasted wonderful, Amy had to admit she barely noticed. She could not stop herself from looking at her husband in awe and eagerness. She was finally going to be a mother.
After they finished eating, Amy insisted on doing the cleaning. When Dave tried to protest, she scolded him for trying to help. "You made this wonderful dinner for us. The least I could do is clean up."
Dave finally sat back down and watched her clean, and once she was done, she dried her hands and walked over to him, feeling suddenly shy.
"Well..." she started. "Shall we?"
Dave held her hand and stood up as well, forcing Amy to tilt her head upwards to see his face as her very tall husband towered over her.
"Yes," he said.
She felt the fire as he kissed her and barely noticed as he guided her up the stairs to their bedroom. It was finally happening. She, Amy Farrah Fowler-Gibbs, was finally going the to be a mother.
Her elation lasted through the next couple of girls nights when she told her friends she and Dave were trying for children. She abstained from alcohol on the off chance that her eggs were fertilized and it was still to early to tell. Who would have thought that she would have a child before Penny, yet there she was. Married and ready to take the next step in her life. Bernadette was less enthusiastic for her. Amy suspected that was due to Halley preventing either of her parents from sleeping much. Call her a masochist but she was looking forward to that particular torture if it meant she could finally satisfy her longing to have her own child; she would later take back all such envy, but ignorance is bliss.
Wanting to share in her joy with all her friends, she invited them over to her house for dinner. Dave was kind enough to offer to grill burgers for them all, provided Amy took care of the rest of dinner.
When Penny and Leonard, Howard and Bernadette, and Raj and Emily all showed up at her house, for the first time Amy realized she and her husband were hosting her friends as a married couple. She and Dave had her friends over for dinner before but that was different somehow. Now they were an inseparable they.
It marked yet another foray into the adult world previously denied to her. She tried not to laud her victory over everyone, but how could she not? She and her husband were trying to get pregnant. She and her husband had houseguests. She had a husband.
Her husband was not a perfect man. Sometimes he rambled to much even though she found it cute and he occasionally still talked about Sheldon even though she would rather forget the pain her ex-boyfriend put her through, but all in all she had a good life.
Her cocaine addiction study produced statistically significant results which, when published, might finally have her track to widespread recognition in the scientific community. Maybe she might not get the Nobel Prize for her research as it was extremely unlikely even for the best of scientists, but her article was almost ready to be submitted to Nature. Just a couple more weeks to finalize it and finish analyzing the data and she would be ready to start on a new experiment.
Howard and Bernadette were the first two who showed up—no doubt arriving early after eagerly ditching Stuart to babysit Halley. She greeted her blond friend with a hug and invited them both inside. For Howard she got a Pepsi—diet, his wife insisted he watch his calories—and a glass of Pinot Grigio for Bernadette. Her remaining four friends arrived not soon after. Once everyone was there, Penny and Bernadette followed her into the kitchen to talk with her while she finished their dinner while the guys went outside to the grill.
"Do you think they can manage this?" Penny asked, watching the two physicists, the engineer, and the math professor contemplate the grill as if it was another one of their science experiments. It sounded like the setup to a bad joke.
"I don't know. Let's watch them try." Bernadette was eager to see if they would manage to screw up an operation as easy as turning on the grill, but when it came to the guys, they could be particularly obtuse about the mundane issues in life.
"I bet they'll find a way to start a fire."
"Twenty bucks they won't, bestie," Amy said. While she had no faith in her friends chosen partners, hers was a little more down to earth. Besides, it was their grill. Her husband had a hand up on its operation that the other guys.
"You're on."
"What do you think they're doing with the propane?" Emily asked when they observed the guys unhook the propane tank from the grill.
"I don't know but it can't be good." Penny seemed overly eager to watch four grown men completely fail at lighting a grill.
They moved the propane tank away from the grill and set it on the cement further away from the house.
"What are they doing?" Amy wondered aloud. Watching the four men engage in what appeared to be an argument did not clarify matters.
Penny picked up one of the pieces of watermelon on the counter.
"Save it for dinner, bestie," Amy scolded.
"At this rate there will never be a dinner," Penny protested and took a bite of the melon.
"I wouldn't let you do that if not for your pure heart and gorgeous golden locks."
"Umm, thanks?" Penny said while chewing. That unattractive habit was rendered less so by her best friend.
"Oh. Now they have a torch." Bernadette seemed fascinated. "Should we be worried? My little Howie doesn't deal well with pain and I'll have to take care of him if he burns himself. I already have one baby at home."
"Maybe we should stop this," Amy suggested.
Penny waved her hand in the air. "Nah. Let's watch them. Unless you're scared you'll loose the bet."
"I'm not scared. My husband will stop your husband's ridiculous antics and they will successfully make dinner."
"You sure about that? Oh, look, something is on fire. Pay up." Penny held her hand out towards Amy.
Amy fished in her messenger bag for her wallet and pulled out a twenty. "Fine. You win," she said bitterly, disappointed in Dave for not stopping whatever craziness was happening in the yard as there was, indeed, a fire and a great deal of smoke. At least the boys managed to start the fire far enough away from the propane tank it did not explode on them. That would probably catch the house on fire to say nothing of their own safety.
The four men trudged back into the kitchen.
"What happened?" the four girls asked in unison.
"I don't want to talk about it." That time it was Leonard. Penny narrowed her eyes.
"What did you guys do?"
"You know how we were going to have hamburgers?" Raj asked.
"Yes?" Amy resisted the urge to tap her fingers against the counter. She would not give into anxiety riddled behavior.
"They're kinda on fire."
"Howie," Bernadette scolded her husband.
"What's all the smoke coming from?" Amy asked.
"You know that monkey platter you really like?" Dave asked. For a giant he was looking a bit small to her.
"Yes." Amy tried and failed not to nag.
"Well, we will need to buy a new one."
"Unbelievable. I give you one job and the four of you can't do that. And get your hand off the watermelon, Penny."
Amy turned her glare from the men to her best friend who was, by that point, on her fifth slice of watermelon.
"What?" Penny shrugged. "You heard my husband. Dinner's off and I'm hungry."
Emily and Bernadette shared a look and reached for the watermelon as well.
"Et tu, Brute?" Amy said.
"Sorry, Amy, but Penny's right. We're starving and this is food." Emily was not the least bit remorseful as she bit into the watermelon.
"Fine. Have at the rest of dinner. I'll see if I can make something else."
"No need. We can just order pizza."
After searching through her fridge, Amy reluctantly agreed to get pizza delivery instead. There was not enough food left to feed everybody and she, too was hungry. The pizza only took twenty minutes to arrive, and the gang eagerly filled their empty stomachs. After a while, their friends all had to leave and once Amy and Dave were alone, she turned on her husband.
"What happened outside?" she demanded.
"What are you talking about?"
"Save it. You know what I'm talking about. What happened to the burgers?"
She crossed her arms over her chest. This was supposed to be their first night entertaining as a married couple and instead of eating a nice dinner they made together, he'd messed it up and they had to order pizza instead. To say she was unhappy would be an understatement.
"Oh. That."
"Yes that. What happened?"
"We lit the burgers on fire."
"I know. Why did you do it?"
"It was an accident."
"How hard is it to grill?" Her arms stayed cross as she glared up at him, wishing she had more height instead of him always towering over her.
"We broke the grill."
"Dave! That was a $5,000 grill we got as a wedding present. How could you break it?"
"I don't know. It just...happened."
"Unbelievable," she fumed, "Absolutely unbelievable. You couldn't just give me this one night, could you. No. You had to go and ruin it."
Her voice became louder throughout her tirade and by the end she approached yelling volume.
"I didn't ruin anything. We ordered pizza. Crisis averted."
"That still doesn't change the fact that you ruined this evening for us." She was shouting and she knew she should stop but she just felt so angry. She wanted to impress her friends and instead she felt humiliated by her inability to cook even a simple dinner for them without messing it up.
"I didn't ruin anything." His voice was louder than she'd ever heard it before.
"Crisis not averted," she protested.
"Is this about the grill? I know it's expensive but I'll take it to get it repaired. And if that doesn't work, I'll buy a new one for you. It's not a big deal."
"But it is a big deal. How could it not be a big deal. That's a $5,000 grill and we're trying to have a child here. Do you know how much a child costs? Between the food and the clothing and the doctors visits and the hospital stay? And then we'll have to send our children to college. College, Dave. That costs a fortune."
"Our faculty discounts..." Dave started.
"And what if our children don't want to go to UCLA or Caltech? What if they go to Harvard or Yale or MIT? What then? We can't just ruin a brand new $5,000 grill anymore because we can't afford to replace it." She was putting everything way out of proportion. She sounded crazy. She knew that but she couldn't stop herself from venting. The words slipped out without her approval.
"Look, Amy, I said I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I promise. And we don't need a new grill. If I can't get it repaired we don't need another one. We only ever use the stove and oven anyways."
Amy wasn't sure what to say. She did not want to keep yelling at him and yet she could not just forgive him for his error but at the same time it was a minor offense and she should not be that upset over it. "You made me look like a fool in front of my friends. You ruined everything," she said instead.
"You didn't look like a fool. Your friends love you and had a great time tonight. So what if we broke the grill and burnt dinner? We got pizza instead. No big deal. Besides, three of your friends helped me make a mess of dinner. They are looking pretty foolish too."
Amy still felt cross but the logic of his argument appealed to her. Perhaps she was being irrational blowing up at him like she was. Maybe it was just her disappointment that her husband was as idiotic as her friend's husbands that had her upset.
"I guess," she reluctantly agreed, still unwilling to admit she was wrong. "It's just I wanted everything to be perfect."
"But it was perfect. Everyone had fun and wants to do this again. I'd say you succeeded. And this isn't about the grill or burning our dinner, was it? This is about something else?"
"Maybe," Amy reluctantly agreed.
"This is about children. You're nervous." Amy was stunned at how astute he was. She did not realize that was the reason she'd reacted as she had until he said it, but once he did, she knew it to be true. She was worried about her ability to be a good mother and was taking it out on him.
"I don't know how to be a mother. What if I'm like my mother and our children hate me?" She voiced the fears aloud for the first time. She hadn't had them until recently, but they came upon her suddenly as she realized the magnitude of what they were about to do.
Now she was calmer, Dave gave her a hug. Standing there in the middle of the living room, Amy felt herself starting to regain her center.
"Our children won't hate you. You'll learn how to be a mother and I'll learn how to be a father. And you won't be like your mother."
She wanted to believe him and feel reassured but the truth was she simply couldn't.
"How do you know that?"
She wanted to be as confident as he was.
"Are you going to lock our children up in the sin closet?"
"No!" Amy protested. She hated that and would never subject her kids to that.
"And will you force our children to date against their will?"
"No."
"And will you tell our children that they will go to hell if they have friends and boyfriends or girlfriends?"
"Absolutely not." Amy did not realize just how much she complained to Dave about some of the worse aspects of her childhood.
"Then I know you won't be like your mother."
"That's one of three," Amy agreed. He was right. She would not do the same things to her children that her mother did to her. She did not want to be that kind of mother, the one who forced her children to do things they hated and in return alienate them.
"But what if our children hate me anyways? What if I fail at being a mother?"
"They won't hate you because you'll love them and protect them. I know you, Amy. When you care about someone you care deeply. I know I'll be envious about how much you love our children."
"Hmmm," Amy said and nuzzled her nose against his chest. "I like the way that sounds. Our children."
"Our children. And do you know how I know you'll be a great mother?"
"How?"
"Because I've seen you with Mark and Jenna and those children adore you. You'll do even better with our own. I know it."
Amy pulled back just enough to see his face. "Really?"
"Really. You're beautiful, intelligent, and kind. You'll be a great mother."
She felt reassured, all her worries draining away.
"I'm still not pregnant," she reminded him. She felt calm. Relaxed. She wanted to stay in his arms forever.
"It's only been two months. Give it time."
"You know we could try again tonight?" she suggested. Make-up sex with her husband? She'd be behaving just like Penny and that thought was appealing in the extreme.
Instead of a yes, she received a kiss instead. She'd be a fool to complain about that.