AN: I've had this ridiculous, and incredibly self indulgent, head-cannon that Evergreen and Minerva are best friends who have sassy and playful banter and conversation. I feel like they'd play off the other well. That being said...here's 700 fun words.

*This was written a while ago, I'm just posting it now.

"Honestly if his aunt asks about babies one more time I'm going to lose it, Min."

Evergreen raised her double shot glass in tandem with Minerva, glasses clinking before they unceremoniously took it back, coughing on the liquid before grabbing a lime wedge and cursing under their breath.

"What does Elfie—"

"—Please never call him that—"

"—have to say about that?" Minerva asked through a snort, ignoring her interruption. She sloppily swiped her forearm over her lips, squinting through the mental fog from the liquor as she stared at Evergreen. "How does he feel about a little fairy?"

"'Faiiiiiiry', oh gosh!"

"Do you remember when you were obsessed with fairies? Cause I do." She put little effort into hiding her grin.

"You never let me fucking live it down, how could I forget?" Evergreen waved her hand towards the bar hoping the sloppy gesture would get them more drinks. "You're a real fucking bitch."

"That's why I'm single," Minerva laughed, sipping the last bit of her long forgotten beer.

"Speaking of…"

"Don't do this."

"Min. It's been five years and not one date."

"Thank you. I forgot."

"Shut up." She said in her teacher voice (and dammit if it didn't take everything in Minerva to not jump a little). "It's been five years and not one date. Every year—every year––you tell me you'd rather die than go home—"

"Cause I would," Minerva interjected holding up a tepid finger. "My mom gets a drink or two in her and can't stop telling me, 'You know, I thought he was the one for you sweetie!' and then my father—oh, God my father." She shook her head annoyed by just the thought of her parents.

Evergreen was privy to the intimate details of the massive headache Minerva's family was. Minerva's father hadn't been proud of her since the moment he found out his oldest and first child would be a girl; her mother, supportive as she was and as well as she meant, never really was strong enough to serve as a buffer between Minerva and her father, which led to a lot of resentment on Minerva's half; and her half-brother though supposedly well-intentioned and shockingly successful in his own right, was drunk nearly every day of his adult life. Every instance she went home was a particular level of hell she wasn't always ready to engage with, but her mother insisted she'd be home. Part of Minerva took it as her desperate attempt to stay connected to her, as well as a way for her mother to get a break from her torturous existence living with just her father.

Minerva couldn't blame her, she did pity her though.

"Well this year," Evergreen paused mouthing a thank you at the new drinks were dropped off on their small table. "I want to set you up with someone I think would…fit."

"'Fit'?" Minerva glared.

"Oh come on!" Evergreen protested.

"No. No." She drawled, the word coming out slow and smooth, even against the haze of liquor. "No. I'm not some…fucking charity case. If you want to set him up so bad, hand him off to Erza. Are her and Jellal still on a 'break'?"

"Ouch."

"What?" Minerva's glare softened. "Oh shit, was that too soon?"

"Way too soon," Evergreen smiled. "Look, you don't have to marry the guy—"

"—This is the start of every bad Hallmark movie—"

"—Just see what he's about," she verbally shrugged.

Minerva glanced over at Evergreen. She was being way too casual about this and Minerva didn't trust it. Evergreen had set her up on several dates before, sending her off with a 'just see what he's about' and it had never ended well. The worse easily had to have been that pyromaniac who couldn't quiiiite decide what warranted his focus—food, himself, or his friends. Minerva had sworn off of Evergreen's recommendations for months after that.

"Fine, I'll bite." Minerva turned towards her, rolling her eyes as she rested her cheek in her hand. "Who the fuck is this guy?"

"Ohhhhhh, Minnie. My sweet, sweet little minnow fish," " Evergreen sang as she flashed a bright smile. "This guy might be worth the bite."

AN: This ISSSSS the start of a shitty Hallmark movie and it's probably really good. Go on that date Min! Wonder who it could be ;)

I couldn't decide their brotp name but "minevergreen" sounds more fun than "evnerva" I feel but there's a character limit on titles on FFN (not on AO3 though!). Sommmmmeone said this ship should be named "High Maintenance" lmao not a bad name for this duo, honestly. Tell me your thoughts!

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