Chapter 38: Stains of Dishonour

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Regulus Black sat on his large, emerald covered bed, his feet kicked up in front of him. Distantly, he could hear the low music of holiday songs; his parents over eager attempt at making their home more festive for company. It was disgusting to Regulus the way his mother had gone full force in decorating their home and ordering Kreacher to prepare holiday specific meals all for the sake of impressing his future in laws.

The boy mindlessly stared down at a silver key, the one his brother had given him, the one that had been thrown aside and later retrieved by Topher. Regulus' fingers traced along the edge of it, letting the metal teeth graze lightly across his skin. His brother's words played over and over in his mind; reminding him of the offer, the promise. On his weaker days, Regulus often wondered what it would be like to take the chance, to move in with Sirius after school.

"Regulus!"

The young boy scrambled to attention at the sharp tone of his mother's voice. His hand shot under his pillow, stashing away the key before the woman appeared in his doorway.

"Why aren't you in your dress robes yet?" Walburga hissed with a threatening undertone to her words.

"I was just about to change," Regulus lied, getting to his feet. "I don't know why we have to go through all of this." He pulled out the top most set of dress robes and held them up to his mother questioningly. "If our family is so much better than other families, shouldn't they be the ones throwing some stupid Christmas dinner to impress us?"

Walburga pursed her painted lips and slowly let out a sigh. "You don't become the best family, or stay the best in our case, by sitting around and letting others take the glory." She snatched the robes from her son's hands and held them full out to see. "Look, you see this?" the woman asked as she pointed to a tiny, almost undetectable stain on the collar of the robes.

Regulus leaned forward slightly, his eyes narrowing to see the blemish, and nodded at his mother.

"Nearly impossible to see, isn't it?" Walburga prodded. When her son nodded once again, the woman scowled heavily. "Does that mean it isn't there?" she snapped, her voice running cold and sending a shiver down Regulus' spine.

"No ma'am," Regulus answered in a whisper.

"Stains run deep," the woman continued, her eyes boring into the fabric as she spoke. "You can scrub until your fingers bleed, but it won't matter. Once there's a stain, it's always there."

"Y-you could just use Scourgify," the boy suggested lamely.

Walburga's eyes slowly turned her son, the identical greys holding each other. "Appearances only," she breathed. "You can fix the coloring, you can blind the eye to the blemish, but that doesn't change the fact that it was there. The fabric is forever tarnished by the disgrace of a stain."

Regulus swallowed hard and lowered his head. It was more than clear that his mother wasn't talking about the dress robes any longer. "I'll find a new set to wear," he whispered before turning back to his drawers in search of another pair of dress robes.

"No," Walburga snapped. "Wear these; they suit you fine." The woman threw the heavy fabric at her son, pointed her nose into the air and swept from the room without a glance back.

Soon, Regulus was caught up in the feigned holiday spirit, smiling and making small talk with the dinner guests. It was a small gathering. Sarah and her parents, along with Bellatrix and Rodolphus, joined the usual Black trio for a lavish dinner. After the meal, the adults retired into the living room to sip brandy and talk about matters far too important for young ears; namely the soon to be nuptials.

Sarah slipped her hand into Regulus' and frowned when he promptly pulled it away. "Don't be an ass," she muttered, rolling her eyes as she glanced around cautiously. "There's wine left from dinner," she suggested, pointing towards the forgotten bottle.

With a simple nod, Regulus grabbed up the wine and led Sarah upstairs to his bedroom. He left the door propped open, just in case anyone cared to check on them, then dropped down onto the edge of his bed. He handed the bottle over to his blonde companion and watched her pry off the cork. She giggled slightly as she tipped up the drink and slid onto the bed next to Regulus.

"Here," she whispered, holding the bottle out for Regulus.

"Actually, I don't feel so well," Regulus admitted, waving off the bottle.

"Don't lie to me," Sarah whispered, her small eyes narrowing at the boy. She tipped up the bottle one more time before pressing it into Regulus' hand. "You know you need it for this."

"There isn't going to be a this," Regulus snapped, getting to his feet. He placed the bottle onto his desk and turned away from Sarah's hateful gaze. "Your parents would have a fit if they caught us," he added.

Sarah snorted indignantly and rolled her eyes. "You're a dreadful liar, Regulus Black," she said in a calm voice as she stepped up behind the boy. Her hands smoothed flat over his back and rubbed at his tense shoulders. She hooked her fingers into his dress robes and pulled them back from his shoulders, letting the fabric fall heavily to the floor. "Why don't you just relax?"

Regulus spun around and took a step back from Sarah. "I said I didn't feel well, now just drop it."

The girl tightened her lips and took a step into Regulus, forcing him to back himself against the wall. "This isn't how it's supposed to be!" she yelled, pointing her finger in his chest. "We're getting married. I love you and you're supposed to love me too!" She twisted her hands into the boy's shirt and tugged at it, her face staying steady and fighting tears. "I'm...I'm gorgeous. I am! I am fucking gorgeous and you are the envy of half the damn school to be marrying me!"

"I never said you weren't," Regulus hissed, trying to pry the girl's fingers off of his shirt. "This isn't about you. It's about my person problems. Mine. Me," he argued, finally getting himself free of her steel grip. "I can't do this. I can't give you what you want."

"You could try!" Sarah stamped her foot and flung her hands angrily to her sides, her fists clenched in anger and her nails digging into her palms. "You don't even try. It's always stay out of my personal space right away."

"That isn't true." Regulus pushed Sarah back away from himself in desperate need of some air. "I've tried. I've had sex with you for crying out loud. Just because I can't do it whenever you want, you're gonna act like this?"

"Act like this!" Sarah shouted, slamming her palm into the door and forcing it closed. "I'm acting like a girl who wants some damn love from her boyfriend, nay, her soon to be fiancé and you're acting like I've asked for something difficult."

"Maybe it is difficult," Regulus sneered. "Not everyone can be a total whore like you are."

Sarah's hand popped into the side of Regulus' face so hard, she recoiled in pain from it. Regulus put his hand to his cheek and narrowed his eyes, though he didn't say anything. The girl stared back into his cold, grey eyes, fear written all over her face. She cradled her hand and licked her lips, taking a small step back from Regulus. "What are you gonna do?" she asked, her voice breaking at the end.

"What am I gonna do?" Regulus repeated slowly, letting his hand drop from his face. He breathed heavily for a moment, waiting for the sting to fade so he could think clearly.

"I didn't mean to," she whispered, taking another step back from the boy.

Regulus reached out and grabbed onto Sarah's arm, then pulled her right against himself. He laid his free hand on the girl's cheek and lifted onto his toes, then met her lips with his own. The kiss was quick and he was stepping away before she could even register what was happening.

"What was that for?" she asked with a small shudder.

"I...I shouldn't have called you a whore," Regulus whispered before walking back over to his bed and climbing onto it. He sat on his knees and patted the spot next to himself to call Sarah over. "Don't ever hit me again," he whispered as the girl lowered herself into the place he desired. "Consider that your one free pass."

Sarah's eyes opened wide and she scooted back on the bed a bit. "And if it happens again?" she asked, the shake starting to fade from her voice.

"If it happens again..." Regulus trailed off, running through the possible threats in his mind. "Just make sure it doesn't," he finished, ducking his head and turning towards the floor.

The two sat in silence a moment before Regulus felt Sarah's thin fingers brush over his lower arm. He fought the desire to pull away from her and opened his hand in offering. The girl eagerly tangled her fingers into his and squeezed his hand.

"Did Elizabeth ever hit you?" Sarah whispered tentatively.

"No. She didn't," Regulus answered. "She was terrified of me."

"I'm scared of you too," Sarah blurted out. "I mean...I don't think you're gonna kill me or abuse me or...treat me like crap, but I'm scared of your temper. I'm scared that if I ever make you too mad you could..."

"Maybe it's best that you just don't make me mad," Regulus offered up in a blunt tone. "I don't want to lose my temper at you, Sarah, but I will. I always do. That's what I do, I lose my temper and things go badly." He squeezed the girl's hand again and stared at the carpet intently. "I'm gonna make a shitty husband," he muttered.

"This again?" Sarah groaned and pulled her hand free, then used it to tuck her long curls back behind her ears. "It's gonna be fine. We'll figure it out together."

"How can you say it's gonna be fine? You're marrying a bloke who doesn't even wanna have sex with you." Regulus let out a self-deprecating laugh and dragged his fingers back through his hair, pulling roughly at the strands.

"You...you don't want to have sex with me?" the girl questioned, pulling back to Regulus fully. "I understand that you have the space issues, but you don't want to do it? Did you not enjoy it?" she asked, her tone full of mixed anger and wounded pride.

"It was fine," Regulus muttered. "You misunderstood me."

"I did not," Sarah spat defensively. "You didn't like it. I can't believe this. What? Was I not as great as Elizabeth?" she hissed.

"I already told you, I didn't sleep with her," Regulus growled.

"You're a liar!"

"I'm a dreadful liar, remember?" Regulus prompted, leaning towards Sarah and locking their eyes together. "So tell me, Sarah, my future wife, the all knowing, am I lying now?" He gritted his teeth together and repeated, "I did not have sex with Elizabeth."

"If it wasn't her, then who?" Sarah asked, staring back at Regulus with defiant eyes.

"I'm not answering that," Regulus laughed as he backed away.

"A marriage is supposed to be built on truth and trust," the girl argued. "I can handle the fact that you're a damned murder but you don't think I can hear who you've shagged?" she screamed, her patience at the end of its limit.

Regulus watched Sarah a moment, taking in her determined, tear brimmed eyes. "You want honesty? Fine. How's this for honesty?" He took a deep breath and braced himself for what was to come. "I slept with Anthony."

A Note From the Author: Yes...very long wait and I am truly sorry. I took a break, then I lost the feel for the story, but now I'm back on it and hopefully things will start flowing quicker around here. Thank you for reading and sticking to the story despite that long ass wait. Again, sorry! Let me know what you thought of the chapter. Yeah? Any predictions? :D –Jenna