"Emileah! Wake up I made breakfast!" I grumbled, throwing the pillow off my head and blankets off the bed. I was ready to snap at mom about yelling to wake me up but then I realized that it wasn't mom's voice and this wasn't my bed. "You better hurry before the kids and Paul eats it all." It was Rachel's voice. I hurried down to breakfast knowing all too well that Paul still ate like he was an active wolf and the quads ate like they were already going through the change.

"I'm comin." I sat at the dining table between Junior and Pablo. Rachel had made a full breakfast spread. Everyone started loading up their plates save one, Junior. He was studying me like I was some new insect he'd found in his back yard. "Whaddya want?" Rachel glanced at me but I knew she wouldn't say anything. I was being a little mean but this was Junior we were talking about. He could handle his own.

"Do you chase yourself?" The rest of his family seemed confused at his question. So was I. "When you phase, do you?"

"Why would I do such an idiotic thing?" I asked and promptly shoved a buttered biscuit with honey in my mouth.

"Language please Emileah." Rachel quietly scolded. I paid her no mind.

"You're a wolf and a panther which is like a dog and a cat. So do you chase yourself?" The question, formed as such was dumb but I knew that was as philosophical as Junior's eight year old mind was going to get with the subject. The two sides of me were…complicated. In all honesty, my wolf form was more natural to me, I'd had it since before I was born. The panther side was developed out of anger. Out of hate. It was more aggressive in a way. Only Sahara knew what it felt like to be pulled in two different directions by oneself but she hardly speaks on it.

"No kid, I don't chase myself." Though I do sometimes feel like I want to tear myself apart. The thinking made me lose most of my appetite. After picking around the rest of my breakfast I decided some reflection would do me good. "I'm gonna go for a run."

"Can I come?" Junior asked and it surprised me. Rachel made a sound of unease at the question, even Paul who hadn't said anything through the meal paused stuffing his face to share an uneasy glance with his wife.

"I don't think that would be a good-"

"It's fine." I cut into Paul's disapproval. "I used to carry Leo all the time and we are the same age." They knew by run I didn't mean bipedal. When Paul shrugged I looked to Junior. "You just gotta promise to hold on for dear life." Rachel cringed at my word use but Junior's eyes brightened in excitement. He was already nodding then I noticed that the other three kids had yet to speak. I almost laughed when I looked at them. Pablo was staring at Junior in shock. Paulie looked like Junior had just grown a second head.

Paulis looked like he was about to cry in horror.

Good, I didn't have to worry about the other brats coming along with me. I finished up and Junior dutifully followed me outside to the tree line. I was already clad in my phasing pants. Before Junior could even scream indecency I had yanked my shirt and bra off and was in wolf form. Then again he was Paul's son, he probably would cry that he didn't get a free show.

It sure does pay to be one of the fastest shifters.

Junior clambered on top of me when I lowered myself to his level. I started off at a jog, allowing the kid to get used to the fast speeds. I remember a few times when Leo would nearly fly off our backs if we started running too fast too soon. Good thing he learned to adjust quicker as he got older.

No sense in traumatizing Junior today though.

My mind instantly started to wander when I heard Junior's first sounds of excitement. Mainly to the reason mom had sent me to stay with Rachel and Paul for the week. I mean it wasn't really my fault. She was making dumb decisions and not including me in them.

How else did she want me to respond when she said that she was pregnant with not only Jacob and Renesmee's child but possibly with Embry and Tenia's as well?

Jake and Ness, okay I can understand that. Jake's like her best male friend. But Tenia?

She doesn't care much about Embry and I know she hates Tenia. So why would she agree to some unethical chance pregnancy procedure that involved Carlisle injecting her with zygotes from both Jake and Ness and Embry and Tenia? I asked her that and she told me to be fair.

What are we five?

Bringing life into the world, being a surrogate mother-I hear Junior's cries of fright, figuring in my anger I must have sped up. I slow and he quiets. Anyway like I was thinking, this isn't a matter of fairness.

Something else is going on with that woman. She could be carrying three kids but Carlisle can't see anything because the first kid is blocking the others with its own sac. All I know is that there's a whole lot of Black bloodline being carried in a Clearwater womb right now.

And if I'm being perfectly honest with myself right now: I don't like it.

That's a place that should be claimed by me and any siblings of mine. I don't really care if the Black blood can't be carried on through the boys because they got stuck with malfunctioning imprints. Neither of them are good alphas anyway.

Okay maybe Jacob had the potential to be a good alpha, but he's practically a vampire. That became null and void when he got tied to the Cullens. And Embry?

Psh. That guy's not an alpha. Everyone praises him for what he's done for the tribe.

Well I would like to be informed on what work he actually has done. I mean all he did was agree to start the Haven school. Which is pretty much run by Aunt Tamyra, mom, Nana Sue and the imprints. Embry oversees which is code for make appearances and make sure there are no riots. I mean the Haven is bringing in the extra money for the reservation, but when we get down to it that money is coming from one of my father's many bank accounts. All Embry does is allocate it. And the pack? How hard is it to tell the wolves to go on patrol? The same patrols they've been doing for twenty years now.

The kid on my back would probably make a better alpha than the ones that currently held the blood titles. Speaking of Junior…

He was waving a hand in the air in excitement as we flew through the trees. Good I hadn't killed him in my mental wanderings.

Back to my original thought. This whole surrogacy thing is just messed up. I, of course, vocalize my concerns and what do I get? A freaking lecture and banishment from the house for a week.

So maybe I asked mom if Tenia had threatened her and mom hesitated when I expected her to laugh it off so I went a little off the handle and marched over to the Call house in the middle of the night.

It's not like I would have killed Tenia. Just roughed her up a little. But now that marshmallow Embry is paranoid and demanded that mom reprimand me and he has two of the pack acting as body guards for her at all times. Which is an insult to himself because the universe decided that he was supposed to be enough to protect and complete and love Tenia. And apparently he doubts his ability to protect her from a little girl like me.

Sometimes imprinting makes me sick. It makes people go soft. I'm the only one who sees that. That's why I reject it.

I suppose I could give Leo props where they are due. He is rejecting his supposed imprint. Then again, I know that boy, if that girl manages to survive being born by my mother, Leo is gonna cast one glance at her and fall for her.

And you wanna know why I know that? Because Sam was his father, whose father was Joshua and anyway those Uleys are just made from some bad blood, of weaklings and heartbreakers.

I need to stop thinking like I'm writing in that blasted journal.

"Emileah that was great!" Well, I'm glad Junior had fun. It was the first time I'd ever heard him just sound like a carefree kid. We were back at the tree line. I lowered him to the ground and he ran towards the street. I hung back to untie my bra and shirt. I slipped some discarded shorts on over my phasing pants. The shorts smell like Collin… great. I'm sure he'd love it if he found me wearing these. As I emerged from the trees I saw that something had made Junior pause.

"Hey you little freak, why don't you come over here and we'll play a game." I held back my flinch at the word freak then realized some high schoolers were taunting Junior. He looked angry but was smart enough to know that he couldn't take an entire group of teen boys on.

"Just shut up Wilson!" Junior yelled back when he felt me behind him. My hands slid to my hips. So this is the mighty Wilson? I looked him up and down. He didn't seem so threatening to me.

Actually he looked kind of weak and vulnerable. He sought safety in numbers.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Wilson looked at me with this cocky look on his face.

"Why don't you, slut?" Oh yeah, I forgot I still had to pay him back for those insults about me and mom at the Council meetings. His posse started laughing with him. I'd had enough.

"I think I will." And just like that I was marching across the street ignoring Junior's half hearted protests. His friends quieted down seeing my approach. They were wise, I'm sure my look was pretty menacing right now.

"What are you gonna do gir-" He doubled over in pain when my knee made contact with his stomach.

"That one was for Leo." I slapped him causing his head to whip to the right though I only put as much energy behind it as a normal human would a love tap. Couldn't kill him now could I? "That was for insulting my mom and me." I slapped his face back the other way. "That was for insulting me just now. And this," I knocked his feet out from under him, "is for being a low down dirty flea infested dog and thinking you can go after little kids." His posse had already fled the scene. After one final kick I turned around and headed back to a beaming Junior. I'm sure tomorrow he'll feel upset that he couldn't beat up Wilson himself but right now I'll bask in the hero worship.

Of course Junior didn't know how to shut up about it when we got back to the house so I was forced to smile tentatively at a seething Rachel while the rest of the quads and Paul Sr. ate up details about how I nearly killed Wilson.

Dear Journal,

I'm off punishment for threatening to hurt Tenia. Now I'm on punishment for bruising Wilson's ribs and causing him to throw up. Oh and being a poor role model for the kids.

So worth it.

Emileah

A/N: I think I might go see the movie for the second time tomorrow...oh yeah wait what happened in this chap. OMG i can't remember but I feel like it was confusing. Just leave a review if you're confused :) Or leave one if you like the story...or to rant about how you hate Emileah or how you miss Leo or if you think that small tidbits of Leah are OOC....anything really lol.