Disclaimer: I don't see how I COULD own Death Note.

EDITED!! NOW IN 3rd PERSON POV!!

CHAPTER 37 - KENICHI

Following Ryuzaki's conversation with Mizuki on how to deepen his relationship with Keiko, the two sat in Keiko's room all day; Ryuzaki asked her a myriad of questions, including her favorite things, what her childhood was like, and her dislikes. Of course, this knowledge was not wheedled from her without some persuasion (finally, she promised to answer his questions after getting the green light for asking her own questions in return). The game of Twenty Questions extended to much longer than the number allotted, and the sun began to sink in the sky. Sporadically, they were interrupted by various guests to see Keiko (whereupon Ryuzaki would mumble something about wishing he could hide under the bed). Keiko sighed after the departure of a trio her mother's friends—Ryuzaki had been a little short with them, even rude, but in such a subtle way that only Keiko had noticed (or rather, in such a highly intelligent way that only Keiko was able to notice). "Ryuzaki, if you wanna go back to the hotel, I don't mind, honestly! You shouldn't have to worry about your identity, and it's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon..."

But Ryuzaki remained seated in the chair beside her. "Mm, yes, but that would result our separation, however temporary." His sweet words made Keiko want to melt. "I suppose it would be a good idea... but I shall not leave until visiting hours are through." His fingers brushed her cheek gently, inducing a smile and a blush from her. "People in dating relationships are supposed to spend time together, are they not?"

Keiko wondered that she was able to feel like this again: giddy, lost, joyous, and so utterly content, all at once. Was this how it had felt when she'd first been dating Kenichi...? Part of her argued that yes, it was, but her more truthful side told her that this seemed, somehow, so much deeper, more real... so... so... true... Kenichi had made her feel giddy, yes, but in retrospect (or was it from her clouded memory...?), a guy had never made her feel this giddy before. And then, she paused. Even the thought of Kenichi didn't hurt so badly while Ryuzaki was near... but maybe that was because she was on such a high...

"Thank you, Ryuzaki," she said softly; her eyes shone at him, conveying more thanks than her voice alone was able to do.

The remainder of the afternoon was spent chatting with mainly Keiko's family, and Ryuzaki, to Keiko's partial surprise, participated actively in the conversations (though at times, Keiko had to act as interpreter, as his words were often either over everyone's heads or just not well-structured enough from a social standpoint). For Keiko, it was a wonderful distraction from her injury and immobility both.

Later that evening, Aizawa and Matsuda (wearing street clothes, much to Keiko's amusement) came walking in the door of Keiko's hospital room, looking a little shocked, and behind them trailed Amy and Juro, who looked kind of sheepish. "Sorry," Juro said apologetically. "I made us get lost." Ryuzaki mumbled something incoherent, for which Keiko was tempted to chastise him—it could mean nothing nice—but she refrained.

Aizawa gave him a half-hearted glare. "Shortcut, my eye… He made us go the opposite direction, and we took a nice little jaunt around Tokyo, and by the time we found our way back to someplace familiar, we got stuck in a traffic jam!"

"How many hours were you driving…?" Keiko asked nervously.

"Only about SIX," Aizawa muttered with another cold glance at Juro.

"Sorry, man," said Juro, shrugging.

Keiko chuckled. "Nice. Well, I'm glad you got through that okay."

"Okay?" Amy groaned. She buried her face in one hand and dragged it through her red tresses in an exasperated manner. "Ugh… no! When they weren't yelling at each other, Matsuda was forcing us to listen to techno…"

"Oooh!!" Keiko exclaimed with a grimace. "Dang! I am so sorry!"

"What's wrong with techno?" Matsuda wanted to know. Aizawa rolled his eyes and Juro groaned.

"Nothing," Keiko said quickly, "unless you're listening to it for more than twenty-seven minutes straight without being at a club or playing DDR." A pause followed, and she sighed. "So, I take it you know the story?"

Aizawa nodded. "You got… shot…?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Why the hell did you do something like that?"

Ryuzaki's stare bored into Keiko's head. "Yes, enlighten us."

Keiko paused and, after giving Ryuzaki a withering glance, stared at Aizawa, trying to keep the duh factor from surfacing on her face. "Look, if I'd wanted to get shot, I'd have done it myself."

"You know what I mean!!"

"Then it's because I didn't dodge the bullet fast enough."

"That's not it, either..." Aizawa added, rolling his eyes. "You're a detective, right? You technically don't have to go on missions like that..."

"Blame Matsu-chan," Keiko said with a shrug. "He's the one who volunteered me."

"Nuh-uh!" he protested loudly. "You were the one who finally agreed!" It didn't take a genius to see that he was rather hurt by the accusation; he'd already been suffering from his self-imposed guilt since he'd heard of Keiko's injury.

But Keiko gave him a tired smile and waved her hand at him noncommittally. "It's fine, Matsuda. The whole thing was my fault and you have nothing to do with it. My fault… except for getting shot… that was that Viper-dude's fault."

Mizuki poked her head back into the room. "Hey, Keiko-nee-chan, we're heading out—who the heck are these guys?"

"That's a nice welcome, I must say!" Amy exclaimed jokingly as Mizuki came in. "What's up? I'm Amy."

"I'm Juro."

"Shuichi Aizawa."

"Touta Matsuda—charmed!" He stepped forward and smiled in what Keiko assumed he considered a disarming manner. She snickered. So, Matsuda was smitten with her sister, and she'd not even spoken to him yet! Ah, Matsuda's so easy to please, Keiko thought with amusement. Poor guy probably hasn't ever had a real, lasting relationship before...

"These are my co-workers, Mizuki. Guys, this is my little sister, Mizuki. Don't you lay a finger on her, Matsu-chan. She's got a boyfriend."

The man fairly wilted. "Awww…"

Mizuki laughed at this. "Sorry…"

"He's sweet," Keiko told her truthfully. (At this, Matsuda scratched the back of his head nervously and pulled a confused face. "Uh... thanks?") Keiko continued. "Set him up with one of your friends and he'll be happy."

"Why not? Aiko-chan's looking for a boyfriend right now…"

Matsuda's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"A little desperate, eh, Matsuda?" Aizawa drawled, looking both amused and disdainful. Ryuzaki hummed meditatively, as though in agreement.

"Facebook me and I'll give you more details," Mizuki said, ignoring Aizawa. "You have a Facebook, don't you?"

"Yeah! Will you be on tonight?"

"Of course."

"Cool."

Mizuki laughed again and came over to hug her sister. "Bye, nee-chan. Sleep well."

"Night, Mizuki." Keiko returned the embrace and smiled at her. "Thanks for coming."

"We'll be back tomorrow."

"See you then."

She headed for the door. "'Kay. Bye, Keiko. Bye, Ryuzaki-kun. Bye, guys!"

"Bye!" Keiko called one last time. After she left, she turned back to Matsuda, who turned bright red. "You look like a freakin' tomato!" Keiko laughed, pointing at Matsuda's face.

"What? I can't help it…"

"What, can't help being a dunce?" Juro shot back with a wide grin. "Because if so, then no, you can't help it."

"Hey!!"

Keiko was taken to your apartment by Ryuzaki (or rather, by Watari; Ryuzaki just escorted her), who helped her up the stairs to the door (or rather, carried her up piggyback-style whilst Watari carried her crutches). Keiko reflexively reached into her purse for her keys, when she noticed the yellow slip of paper taped to her door. She frowned and squinted at it as Ryuzaki carried her up the last few steps and closer to the object of her curiosity. With all care, he set her down before her door and Watari handed her the crutches. Only then did Keiko get a chance to read the words featured in bold print…

EVICTION NOTICE

Keiko was silent for five long seconds before her first coherent thought broke the silence in her mind.

…!?

Nani!?

No! I forgot to pay the rent AGAIN!! This makes it, what, the seventh time in two years? It's no freaking wonder…

How is it, came her harsher, more logical side, that you can remember exactly how many times you've missed the rent, you can recall verbatim what L said the first time you ever met him, you can soak up random trivia like a sponge, you can throw out clever… well… somewhat clever… jokes left and right, but you CAN'T remember a simple thing like the monthly rent?

Maybe it's a factor of importance?

Bull-freaking-crap! You could remember it if you wanted to!

So… am I just losing my touch?

It was true. Over the past few days—weeks, actually—since she and L had been dating, her intelligence (well, at least the way it displayed itself, so Keiko thought) had been on the decline. She hadn't been as analytical, nor as quick to predict outcomes of various situations based on the people involved. She'd done close to nothing overly specialized in over two months—probably longer. Sure, Aoyama came back to mind, but she'd failed then, too… and ended up in a funk, to boot. So what was going on? What was making her less sharp, less perceptive, less… there?

Was it Ryuzaki?

Nonsense! If anything, you'd think he'd spur me to improve my game.

It's true that such was a typical occurrence back in the day, when the relationship between us was a cross between "boss and employer" and "friends." Even when he used me like a tool, a human weapon, I wanted to keep up. What happened to that drive?

Was it replaced by the desire to be loved? And if so, which was more important?

So… this proves that there's more to me, at least in L's eyes, than just my intelligence… but what is it? I can't see a single dang-blasted thing! And that's not coming from mere self-doubt, either…

But you can't ask him flat-out, can you?

…No.

Urgh… Keiko almost began to babble out her worries, but remembered that Ryuzaki and Watari were right there. She had to maintain an alert façade, and the easiest one at present was her typical blank, apathetic mode. She frowned as she stared at the sign, almost as if uncomprehending. Keiko went pale. "E-eviction notice…?!"

Ryuzaki's face went carefully, guardedly blank as he looked over at the paper. "Why...?" he wondered in a nearly inaudible tone, as though he were only half-interested; Keiko knew from his expression, however, that he was very much interested in the little yellow notice. He ripped the paper off the door and read the explanation, as given by Keiko's landlord. " 'Due to your failure to pay your utilities and rent in a timely manner and your lack of compliance with the rules as outlined in the lease…'" His voice trailed off as he skimmed over the lease. "It's circled. And it says next to that 'no pets allowed' and 'volume level'."

Keiko groaned and slumped over on her crutches, feeling supremely discouraged. "Ugh… I guess that's because of the late hours… And the building's so old, sound travels really easily… I've tried to be quiet…" An achy sort of feeling climbed into her throat and Keiko bit back the urge to cry. NO! NO TEARS!! Old, non-sappy, smarter self, remember!? How would crying help? Why do you want to cry, anyway!?

Instead, she sighed and began to voice aloud a few of her misgivings. "Why me? Now I have to find a new apartment that's close enough to the NPA headquarters to walk there so I can survive after the case is finished, and that's if we ever finish it intact… and I have to find somewhere for Pollux to go where he'll be treated well and I won't have to worry… and this just means more confusion and entanglements and finding a place to stay in the meantime, and how am I going to cope with that? And what do I do with my stuff? And when do I have to leave, because I can't stay here until I find a new place… and all this while I'm practically crippled! I can hardly manage to get around and take care of my freaking self, much less move myself out and find a place to stay. For Pete's sake, I don't even own a car! Or a bike! And then, there's the meals to worry about in the meantime, because I'm not made of money… and I can't ask my mom for either money or a place to stay, because she'll flip out again, and that's the last thing I need!! Oh, dang it all! Why can't I just be rich like you, Ryuu?"

There followed a pause, during which Keiko reflected that it might have been smarter to say fewer words… but they came out in a rush that was almost inevitable. She could hardly stop them. Hey… am I turning into my mom? Ugh… Or maybe it was the pain meds…? Possibly her current stress level, which was rather high, due to Kira, her love life (unconventional as it was), having nothing to do, and being "crippled"…?

But the feeling of Ryuzaki's cool hands on her cheeks brought her back to stark reality. "Calm down, tenshi," he said softly, cradling her face in his fingers and leaning his forehead on hers. "It will be okay. You can always stay with me, if you wish, or if this is disagreeable to you, I can find a new apartment for you." His quiet voice penetrated her miserable mood and calmed her down—or was that the result of his having shocked her out of her panic by being so theatrically sweet with his close proximity and soft voice?

A sigh escaped her lungs. "This sucks! I don't want to be a burden…" Instantly, she caught herself and her mouth clacked shut. Shoot! I should be trying harder to predict his actions… maybe then, I wouldn't feel like such an idiot.

"Nonsense," said Ryuzaki and Watari together. The former continued as he stood back just enough to look at her, though he still kept one hand occupied with a strand of her hair. "And what is it," he continued in a softer tone, "that made you suddenly nervous? Or to think that you're a burden?! You've stayed with me before with no inhibitions whatsoever, even asked me rather bluntly if I could provide you with a place to stay. What is it that's making you feel differently about it now?"

How to answer that one? The funny thing was, Keiko didn't have a clear answer. "I don't know…"

"You could never be a burden," he assured her, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Then… I guess so… But what about all my stuff?"

"Except what items you need, your belongings can be stored at my estate," Ryuzaki finished.

"So… what now?"

"We go in and start packing." He held out his hand for the keys and unlocked the door, letting the three of you in. A quick phone call and an hour later, the other task force members were there, helping to pack up… or more accurately, gather and pile things into organized stacks and throwing out other useless stuff until Keiko could obtain cardboard boxes in which to put her belongings.

And Keiko couldn't help but think, It's so wonderful to have friends who care…

Ryuzaki decided to stay the night after the others left, giving the excuse that he didn't want Keiko to be helpless, should something happen.

"Should something happen?" What was that nonsense? Keiko demanded an explanation about it later on, wondering how he could say such a thing, then realized halfway through the question what it meant. He wanted to stay with her not because he was worried—or rather, not only because he was worried—but simply because he wanted to do so. He wanted to remain near her. This realization made her soften significantly, and she felt that now-familiar giddy feeling in her chest.

"Thanks, Ryuu. You're nice." Keiko leaned over and kissed him briefly.

His expression changed almost imperceptibly: his look just softened, and Keiko saw him relax slightly. With a grin, she snuggled up beside him and sighed contentedly. "So… what now?"

"You could tell me what's on your mind."

"Mmm… I dunno, Ryuu…" Keiko feigned nonchalant reluctance and pressed her nose to his chest as she hugged his arm.

That was clue enough that something was up. "Please, Keiko. I'd like to know what your thoughts are about everything right now—about the Black Viper situation and now your eviction…"

She paused, and finally exhaled heavily. "I'm pretty ticked. Why?"

Ryuzaki sighed, his breath ruffling her hair a little. His arms moved to encircle her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Tenshi, the last time this sort of thing happened, you got so worked up that—"

"I know, I know," she murmured, cutting him off. "Just… why?"

"I'm curious."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"That's not an answer."

"Because I want to know more about you. You never tell me anything…"

"And you do?"

"I'm beginning to think that the daffodils-and-champagne combination was a good idea…"

Keiko nodded sagely. "It might've been, yes."

Ryuzaki swallowed. Keiko, you're smarter than this. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you. What in the world made you so doubtful of yourself? "Keiko, I don't want you to ever, ever, think that you are a nuisance, a burden, or disinteresting to me. I… you're very special to me, and I want to know you better."

After a very long pause (so long that even Ryuzaki began to doubt if his admission had a positive effect), she said softly, hesitantly, "If you… agree to begin telling me things, too… then I will tell you more about myself."

Ryuzaki squeezed her tightly once. "Okay. What are you thinking?"

It was a little hard, but not so hard as she would've previously thought—un-repressing your spirit. That meant spilling the beans on one thing.

Kenichi.

Keiko thrust her tongue into her cheek and inhaled. "I'm thinking how I don't wanna have someone else take care of me," she said softly as she stared at the floor. "I... I don't know why I can't help it, but I don't want to cause trouble for anyone else. I know you say I'm not imposing or anything, but I still can't help but think that to be dependent on someone... is kinda..." She trailed off and silence hung in the air.

Ryuzaki frowned. "Something happened to you in your past."

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Lots of things happened in my past." A sinking feeling told her that this conversation was going to be rough on her self-esteem. Her heart thumped a little faster and she fought off the effects of the tiny bite of adrenaline that made her want to curl up in a ball and forget the world around her.

His black eyes zeroed in on her as though looking at her more sharply might enable him to see into her very mind to find what had warped her thought process so. I have a hard time believing that anyone could truly be so... snarky... without the freedom to be a little impertinent. Keiko's inherently playful spirit is easily evident despite her bent toward self-repression and doubt. I would imagine that this "incident" was little more than a small misunderstanding that Keiko spun out of proportion and thus created within her the mindset that she should never presume upon anything, especially not other people's feelings for her. "Something happened to make you doubt yourself and your standing in others' eyes. I would very much like to know what that incident is."

Keiko went rigid. Why? Why did he have to know about that?! "You don't need to know that, Ryuzaki," she said quietly, avoiding his gaze.

"I would disagree. I believe such knowledge is essential not only to better understand you, but so that you can use it as a sort of therapy," he explained. "To hold in one's problems only makes those problems worse. You should not go through life believing that no one cares for you."

At this, she was indignant. Keiko backed up and looked at him with a hint of mixed anger and fear in her expression. "This coming from the one who never tells anyone anything and who almost wants to go through life without any contact with anyone else, let alone anyone else's care...!"

Ryuzaki tilted his head. Such a reaction only further affirmed his hypothesis. This must be a very painful memory for her to so adamently want to avoid the topic entirely. "I am here, now, am I not? If I truly wanted to go through life without others, I would not have met you in the first place." A tiny smile crossed his face, and he thought about how comical it was that he was acting so out-of-character just for her sake. "One could even argue that the desire for company was subconscious. And as long as Watari is here, I will not be entirely alone."

Keiko, had she been in a better mood, might have argued further that as long as he was willing to accept her presence, he would never be alone. As it was, her point was just shattered and she was left alone, defenseless.

"Would you tell me, please, about this... incident?" Ryuzaki slowly leaned in to plant a kiss at her temple. His dextrous hands combed through her hair. The more he worked, the more he felt her will to give into his desire for further knowledge.

No! No one can know!

You don't have to tell him about all of it... she reasoned.

That was it. Think about it, if you only tell him half the story, it won't be so bad. Come on.

He'll notice I'm only telling him half the thing.

So tell him you're only willing to give away half of the incident!

She inhaled slowly and carefully leaned forward. "I won't tell you all of what happened... but..." Ryuzaki was very still, almost like he was afraid to upset her delicacy with his presence, like a hunter trying not to scare away a skittish deer. "I was fourteen when I met Kenichi. He was sixteen... he was the number one-ranked high school student in Japan, and I was second. We went to different high schools, and we only met at a summer camp thing for top scorers on the tests. But we got along very well, and by the end of that week, we'd exchanged phone numbers. We talked on the phone all the time, and after about a month, he asked me out. We started dating, and I was quickly smitten with him. I was too young to have been in such a relationship, I guess... too immature in body and mind... I'm not really sure when it happened, but he started growing more stoic and everything, y'know? I thought he was just bashful, but... no." She paused, and Ryuzaki remained frozen. He sensed the turning point of the story was coming. "We'd been dating not quite two years when we both got into To-oh. He gave the entrance speech, and afterwards, I went outside to find him, and I saw him with his arms around another girl. She was older and prettier... not to mention, she was kind of a slut... I... well, I kinda froze up, and I... I don't know, I just snapped..."

Keiko stared at the floor. She wasn't quite as upset as she'd thought she'd be, but at the same time, her mood was now rather suppressed and melancholic. She'd done a good job of distancing herself from the story... that'd probably helped.

Silence hung in the air. Neither one of them said anything for a long while.

I see why this would be upsetting to her, Ryuzaki mused, not only because it would upset anyone, but because Keiko prides herself on being able to interpret others' actions and motives. She's now afraid to get to close to anyone for fear of a similar occurrence, and she constantly reminds herself of this in order to keep herself distanced. It makes so much more sense, now...

Ryuzaki's arms wrapped around her waist carefully, and he laid his chin on the top of her head. "This Kenichi… what was his last name?" he asked softly.

"Ashida. Why, you gonna make a wara ningyo for him or something?" Keiko wondered sadistically. (1)

There was a slight pause on Ryuzaki's part where she assumed he recalled something vaguely unwanted before he bit his thumb at an almost furious pace. "Mm, no. No, I don't think I will…"

"That was supposed to be a joke, Ryuu," she said softly.

"Hm? Oh. I apologize."

Keiko frowned, but said nothing further. He was off in his own world.

"Thank you for telling me, Keiko."

"Hm." She gave a soft grunt. "Do I make more sense, now?"

"Much more, actually... though I'm afraid my list of questions has now lengthened."

"Gre-e-e-a-at," she mumbled, but a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her lips. So, he didn't think her a lunatic... he still wanted to stick around... and that made her feel infinitely more secure.

"You should get some sleep," he said softly. "This is the most taxing day you've had in a week."

"But I'm not—no-n-nhaaaaugh!" Keiko yawned. "Not tired," she finished in glum defeat. "Crap."

"Really?" he asked innocently, as though he hadn't heard her yawn at all. "Is yawning something you typically do when you're wide awake?"

"Yes."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Why don't you trus-truh…" Yawn. "Dang it…"

He gave the barest smirk. "What will it take for you to go to sleep?"

"A heck of a lot less determination than I thought…" After a pause, she continued. "I'd settle for your presence." Keiko grabbed a handful of his white shirt and leaned in against him, pressing her nose to his chest. "Hm… you smell nice…" she murmured softly, tiredly. "Like printer paper and strawberry cake and hotel soap…"

Paper, cake, and soap? What was he supposed to say to that? Instead, he decided that silence was best, at least, as a response, and held Keiko for a few minutes, until he was sure she was tired enough to go to bed without a fight. Gently, he held her against his chest and carried her back to her bedroom, which was the only room that hadn't been touched in the process of moving, and lay her down on the mattress before squeezing atop the covers onto the small space beside her.

His eyes were drawn to the "L" poster on the wall. I suppose this is one of the closest things she'd have of a photograph of me, excepting the one she already has. He sighed. Why am I thinking about this ridiculous, homemade piece of paper on a wall?

More staring at the L on the wall.

He decided to turn away where he couldn't see it, forcing it out of his thoughts. Maybe I should try and actually sleep for once. I haven't gotten but six hours' worth in the past week…

Still, it's not likely. Which was true. He didn't sleep at all that night.

However, this only gave him ample opportunity to think, as usual. It was one of the reasons why he knew so much—he had more time on his hands than most anyone else, due to lack of sleep. (2)

Kenichi Ashida… that sounds awfully familiar… but I can't place it…

Do I detect the beginnings of a diabolical plot…?

Hm, perhaps so, but you know full well you can't do anything yourself, lest you arouse suspicion against yourself… Keiko did say that he'd been the number-one high school student in Japan in his time…

That IS a shame... why must intelligence be wasted among the criminal class...?

His status matters not. Criminal or no (and you've no proof of any kind that he is), I'd love nothing more than to give him a good thrashing after what he did to my Keiko…

YOUR Keiko? Possessive already, eh?

…

Never mind. But I wonder what I can do to make her feel really, truly loved again…

Just when he thought she was asleep (Ryuzaki couldn't make himself sleep so easily, so he just stared into the darkness, contemplating the various Kenichi-related "incidents" running through his brain, most of which involved Keiko retaliating at Kenichi both verbally and physically, and a few fantasies where he was kicking the living daylights out of said ex), Keiko stirred and curled up closer to him. "L… I love you…" she whispered, obviously not conscious enough to have really thought of saying it.

Nevertheless, he was pleased with this. A warm sort of feeling seeped into his chest, and he relaxed as she slept in his embrace. Ryuzaki held her tight in his arms and said in an almost inaudible voice, "Sleep well, waga kanbashii." (3)

(1—A wara ningyo is a sort of voodoo doll in Japanese culture, and they played a significant role in Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Files. Excellent book, btw. I love how things so insignificant can mean the entire plot… like—(INSERT SOUNDS OF CAR CRASH AND SPLINTERING GLASS)… yeah. That kind of thing.)

(2—Edward Cullen, much? lol…)

(3—"Waga kanbashii" means "my sweet.")

I am officially hooked on "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay!! I really must thank my sister so very much for introducing it to me… even tho, if she was into manga and subsequently Death Note, she'd probably be a Light fangirl… Her personality is too much like his. Oh, the joys of life, no? (haha, lol. Thank heaven she HASN'T read Death Note yet, or we'd be living in a house divided.)