I don't own this list. You all have my permission to do things. Now, read the comment replies (and the rest of the story) while I wait for the Bonds Beyond Time Abridged to get posted by LK.
Zukofan2005: THANKS! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS THE SONG I WAS GOING TO DO?
PhilThePersonaGuy: THANKS! It shall never, never end.
MutantEnemy6789: THANKS!
Yami: Um… thank you.
Ryoubakura98: THANKS! Because. I wanted to reference Tangled.
Ryou: I thought you hated me now. :(
Melvin: (hugs) Why can't I hug you properly?
Squarepotatoes: THANKS! Screw being assaulted, I thought that Bakura was going to get something even worse! O _ o
Lonewolfgirl – sademo588: THANKS!
"(Hisses and starts clawing) You can't stop me!"
QUICK! Somebody get the straightjacket! He's on another rampage!
Angelucie: THANKS!
Bakura: (throws knife at the glue, cutting him and Angelucie apart)
Ishizu: Oh no.
Sailorblaze: ?
Ishizu: We are all going to be killed. I predict so.
Bakura: (pinning down Angelucie and snarling)
Meanwhile…
F.G.: He's ready.
Dartz: Are we gonna due him?
F.G.: No, you fool, we're going to turn him to our side. And Bakura, too.
Oh noes… what happens next?
Bloody Rabbit Alice: THANKS!
Stocking: It's explicitly stated in our contracts that we have to protect any Yu-Gi-Oh character in danger of getting murdered. (Disappears again)
"No, not really."
Raspberry 14: THANKS! So do I. Just replace 'Bakura' with 'Marik'.
TurboDuel: THANKS!
Jack: FANFICTION ON MOTORCYCLES, YUSEI!
VampiressBeauty20: THANKS!
Marik: Curbstomp Bill! And where's Fluffy?
(cuts to Bakura in a jail cell while being tied up and gagged)
Marik: Ok, that's a little too much information.
BlackRoseDragonCK: THANKS! And thanks for reviewing my Softshipping oneshot. :)
YamiXAshley: THANKS! She may appear…
DarkMagicianMidget: THANKS!
"Hello. If you didn't notice by now, we're in a bloody jail cell."
He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame-
"Marik, will you stop singing Cell Block Tango? It's getting on my bloody nerves!"
That's actually a very accurate description of Marik…
Emichan and PhoenixWarrior: THANKS! Don't worry, they'll definitely appear. I'll add in Jailhouse Rock for one of the stingers. Can I come with you, Phoenix?
Yu-Gi-Oh is owned by Kazuki Takahashi. Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged is owned by LittleKuriboh/CardGamesFTW. I've Got A Dream is owned by Disney. Today Is Gonna Be A Great Day is owned by Bowling for Soup. Jailhouse Rock is owned by Elvis Presley. Ryou's special message is owned by DIC and SEGA. 'Screw Gravity' is owned by TomSka.
Marik: (plays parody of the theme song on guitar)
This could possibly be the worst day ever,
We got arrested for trying to make it a million and six times better,
Tried to make every minute count, we want out so we could seize the day,
And make sure that in every single possible way,
Tomorrow Will Be A Great Day – Hey, give me my EFF!ing guitar back!
Meanwhile…
Yusei parked his motorcycle, and went to meet up with Jack. When Yusei finally found him, Jack yelled, "WE GOT A LIST, YUSEI!"
Yusei took a look at the list, and read, "Number 109: Go in the undergarments section, and ask random people if they think this will fit. Well, Jack, we should get this over with."
Soon, Yusei went up to Mai, held up a pair of undergarments, and asked, "Do you think this will fit?"
Mai grabbed them, and replied, "Thank you!" She went back to her cart, leaving behind a very, very stunned Yusei.
Meanwhile in Jail…
"You know, Fluffy," Marik told Bakura, "There's only one thing wrong with this… I hate these uniforms. They are not sufficiently sexy enough!"
Bakura rolled his eyes as they walked into the jail cafeteria, passing by a man with blue hair, a woman with purple hair, and their beige cat. Soon, they sat with another man.
Marik banged the table. "Excuse me," he yelled, "But I would like to know about some fun activities to do here!"
The man shrugged, and said, "Well, not much. We just have to wait."
"For what?"
"Something."
Marik felt a bit frustrated. "Don't you have hobbies? Friday Night Movies?" After a while, he asked, "Do you even have dream?"
The man seemed to disappear into another world. Thoughtfully, he wondered aloud, "Dreams…" Then, he did something that made Bakura cringe: He broke into song.
I'm malicious, mean and scary,
My sneer could curdle dairy,
And violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest.
But despite my evil look,
My temper and hatred of books,
I've always yearned to be a concert pianist!
Marik was really interested. "Ooh, tell me more!"
Can't you see me on the stage performin' Mozart,
Ticklin' the ivories 'til they gleam?
Yep, I'd rather be called deadly,
For my killer show tune medley,
Thank you, 'cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!
I've got a dream,
I've got a dream!
See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem!
Though I do like breaking femurs,
You can count me with the dreamers!
Like everybody else, I've got a dream!
Suddenly, another man came over, and joined in the singing. Bakura groaned, and slammed his head against the table. Marik, however, eagerly sat up and hummed along.
I've got scars and lumps and bruises,
Plus something here that oozes,
And let's not even mention my complexion.
But despite my extra toes,
And my goiter and my nose,
I really wanna make a love connection!
Can't you see me with a special little lady?
Rowin' in a rowboat down the stream?
Though I'm one disgusting blighter,
I'm a lover, not a fighter!
'Cause way down deep inside, I've got a dream!
Suddenly, everyone else started to sing and dance. Well, everyone except for Bakura, who muttered, "We had to go to the prison with the singing criminals, did we?"
"YES!"
I've got a dream!
(Chorus: He's got a dream)
I've got a dream!
(Chorus: He's got a dream)
And I know one day, romance will reign supreme!
Though my face leaves people screaming,
There's a child behind it, dreaming!
Like everybody else, I've got a dream!
Meanwhile…
"Well, that was awkward," Yusei noted, as he crossed off the Number 109. Then, he read, "Number 110: Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming, 'HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!'
Jack tied a purple elephant to his ankle, and started running, and while he ran, he yelled, "HELP! THERE'S AN ELEPHANT TRYING TO KILL ME!"
Soon, Jack passed by Yami, Ashley, Joey, and another girl named Rose. Rose asked, "Pharaoh, shouldn't you mind crush him?"
Yami shrugged. "He's not of importance to me."
Meanwhile at Jail…
The man grabbed Marik and Bakura's hands, and started to introduce them to the other members.
"Dave would like to quit and be a florist," he said, pointing to a man watering the flowers, "And Gunther does interior design!" This time, he pointed to a man measuring the room. "Steve is into mime, and his cupcakes are sublime!"
Marik waved to his former mind slave, shouting, "Hello, Steve!"
Their host continued, "Joseph knits, Manfred sews, Bobby does little puppet shows…" Finally, they got to another man playing with figures of unicorns. He finished with, "And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns!"
Bakura grimaced. Here he was, locked in a jail with a whole army of Marik clones. Hopefully, someone would arrive with the bail soon.
Meanwhile…
Yusei crossed off Number 110, and read, "Number 111: Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around."
Yusei got to a stand with a whole load of stuffed animals. Then, he yelled to one, "You know what? I've had it. First off, I had to save the world with an egotistical nutcase claiming to be a Pharaoh, along with rapper. Then, I have a strange girl who's trying to break me up from my wonderful motorcycle. And finally, I have an idiot following me who won't shut up about card games on motorcycles!"
Yusei, feeling satisfied, went back to Jack, and crossing off 111, told him, "Well, there's one last thing that this Ishizu person wanted us to do…"
Meanwhile in Jail…
The singer laughed, and walking to Bakura, asked him, "So, pretty boy… what's YOUR dream?"
Bakura whispered to Marik, "He wants me to bloody sing, doesn't he?"
Marik scowled. "Look, Fluffy, why can't you just friggin' cooperate?"
Bakura sighed, and climbed onto a table. He said:
Bakura:
I have dreams like you - no, really!
Just much less touchy-feely.
They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny,
On an island that I own,
Tanned and rested and alone,
Surrounded by enormous piles of money!
Marik unenthusiastically climbed onto that table, and whispered, "Bakura, your dream is really, really, lame." Marik then sung:
Marik:
I've got a dream!
(Bakura: He's got a dream)
I've got a dream!
(Bakura: He's got a dream)
I just wanna hear the Pharaoh's screams!
Yeah
And since I'm far from my doom,
I'm so glad I left that tomb,
Like all you lovely folks, I've got a dream!
Suddenly, Marik grabbed Bakura, and they started dancing together, as everyone else started to sing:
He's got a dream,
He's got a dream,
They've got a dream,
We've got a dream!
So our differences ain't really that extreme,
We're one big team…
Marik:
Call us brutal,
Sick,
Sadistic,
And grotesquely optimistic,
'Cause way down deep inside, we've got a dream!
Others:
I've got a dream!
I've got a dream!
I've got a dream!
I've got a dream!
Bakura yelled, "I've got a bloody dream, ok?"
Marik:
I've got a dream!
(Almost) Everyone:
Yes, way down deep inside, I've got a dream!
YEAH!
Suddenly, two cops came in, and said, "We need a Mr. Marik Ishtar and a Mr. Yami Bakura."
Before they left, the man who had started the song told them, "Fulfill your dream."
Bakura responded, "Maybe."
The man frowned. "I was talking to your friend. Your dream stinks."
As they followed the officer, Marik lampshaded, "I told you so, Fluffy."
Suddenly, they were given back their normal clothes. The officer said, "Two friends of yours came to bail you guys out."
Marik cheered, "I knew that my evil council would stick out for me in the end!"
The officer gave a questioning look. Bakura told him, "He's just a bloody idiot."
Soon, they met up with Jack and Yusei outside. Marik glumly said, "Oh look, it's the people from 5Ds."
Bakura responded, "Aren't they the guys who say-"
Jack interrupted with, "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!"
Everyone yelled back, "Jack, nobody cares!"
Now for the stingers!
Marik:
The warden threw a party in the county jail,
The prison band was there and they began to wail,
The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing,
You should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing!
Let's rock!
Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the whole cellblock,
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock!
Number 47 said to number 3,
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
I sure would be delighted with your company,
Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me!"
Let's rock!
Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the whole cellblock,
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock, Rock, Rock!
And now for a special message from Ryou Bakura…
Ryou said, "There's nothing greater than getting a hug from your best friend. But if a certain someone who I shall not bloody mention tries to hug you in a way that can be life threatening, that isn't good! It's your lifespan, and you shouldn't let yourself get stabbed."
"There's three things that you can do," Ryou continued, "First, you have to yell, 'No!' Then, you have to get the bloody hell out of there. And finally, you need to tell someone who can keep that someone in line, like the Pharaoh. That's all I have to say. Now, I need to go run away from Melvin."
(LINE BREAK)
Kaiba and Yugi were both waiting for the bus. However, it seemed as if the bus was not coming. After a while, Yugi said, "It sure would be nice to fly. Unfortunately, there's that annoying limitation of gravity-"
Kaiba rolled his eyes, and yelled, "Screw gravity!" And suddenly, he rose into the air, and flew off to KaibaCorp, leaving a stunned Yugi behind.
So, yeah. This is the new chapter. Trust me, when I first saw that ASDF sketch, I immediately thought of Kaiba. Tune in next time, when something normal actually happens.